Tag Archives: Parenting

10 Tips for Soon-to-Be Moms

February 24, 2015 Only Hsuman 14 Comments

I’ve had a few friends who are expecting their first baby ask for a little advice on how to prepare for the bundle of joy. So here are a few things that I figured out either with EK or with J or because a wise woman told me so.

This was when a friend and I took our collective three kids on a walk. Only two are mine, but she was saying since we knew we’d have another, it was only a matter of time until it was me without a friend…

1. When placing your nursery furniture, to important to make it look nice. It’s also important to make it convenient for you to use each of the pieces in the room. For instance, when you wake up to the cry of your newborn at 3:00am, walk in the nursery, and immediately smell something… terrible… you know that you’re gonna need to change a diaper, and probably clothes, blankets, and maybe sheets. You pick up your sweetie, move to the changing table, and roll up your sleeves. Within arm’s reach, you want to have that extra change of clothes, as well as diapers and wipes, of course. So when arranging your furniture, it’s good to have your dresser (or wherever clothes are kept) within easy reach of the changing table, so you don’t have to walk off and leave the baby!

2. Speaking of changing the sheets, all moms know that changing crib sheets is a giant pain in the booty. So how do you make yourself have to change them less often, even though your baby will have messy poops, incredibly sized pees, and spit ups that stink to high heaven? One word: layer. My wonderful mother-in-law introduced me to this idea, and it’s saved my sleepy or busy self more times than I can count. So what you do is have 4-6 sheets AND full mattress-sized waterproof pads, and layer them into the mattress. I like to take the mattress completely out of the crib to do this. That way, I just peel off the offending layer whenever there’s a mess, and toss it in the laundry, and there’s already a sheet on there, ready to go! Of course, 1/6 times, I’m screwed. But I’m saved the rest of the time!

3. When someone offers to make a meal calendar for you, take them up on it. When they ask for email addresses, give them every single one you know. If people don’t want to help/are too busy, they just won’t sign up. But everyone else? Let them feed you. Lots of them (like me a lot of times) will just ask what you want from your favorite take-out place. It’s a win-win. And sometimes, it’s a sweet friend, who comes bearing dinner, and does some dishes or some laundry while she’s there, because it’s somehow easier to do someone else’s than your own. ((If you need help with this one or don’t have someone to do it for you, email me and I’ll help you out.))

4. Related to #3, stock your freezer. If you’ve got a meal calendar set up with people doing dinners, stock the freezer with pancakes, waffles, muffins, breakfast sandwiches, sausage, bacon, etc. Another great idea is to pack individual baggies with everything for a smoothie in them. Put in your fruit, kale, spinach, oats, flax, or whatever you like in there, each in an individual Ziploc bag, and then all you have to do for breakfast (or lunch, or a snack) is put it in the blender with the liquid of your choice, and yogurt or peanut butter if that’s how you roll. For lunches and dinners, spaghetti sauce and chili are easy things to make and stock up on, as well.

5. Get the book Happiest Baby on the Block or at least skim it in Babies R Us one day. Cliff notes: When they are fussy, swaddle them, let them suck on something, swing or bounce them, hold them positioned on their side or stomach and make some loud white noise (loud “shh”, vacuum, hair dryer, etc). Y’all are thinking I’m crazy. Try it.

6. Start letting baby put himself to sleep even when he’s a couple of weeks old. When he’s fed and diapered and snuggled (and swaddled, in my opinion), lay him in the crib and leave the room. Learning to go to sleep on his own will make everyone’s lives easier in the long run.

7. Something I didn’t do until recently (mostly because I think they didn’t have it when EK was a newborn) is sign up for one of those Amazon or something diaper subscriptions, where they just send them to you. I’ve got it now that my kids aren’t growing out of diaper sizes too quickly (and they’re both in the same size), but here’s what I did. I took all those coupons for creating registries at Babies R Us and Bed Bath and Beyond, and bought diapers – a couple of cases in every size. I waited till they were on sale (since before you have the baby there’s no rush, right?) and used the coupons. Babies R Us is great at mailing you stuff monthly, and almost every time there are coupons for diapers. I only bought one box of newborn size (they grow out of those the quickest in my experience) and two boxes of the rest (stopping at size 4) just in case. I felt totally prepared, and if I did run out of diapers, I at least had some in the size up they could wear so I was never completely and totally out.

8. Find a good stain remover. This is a total must, because your baby is going to be causing stains on everything. I really love Babyganics, and it really seems to work on everything from poop and spit-up to red wine and coffee (and those are the four most common stains at my house).

9. Use the heck out of those annoying and wonderful Bed, Bath and Beyond 20% off coupons you get all the time. Use them on carseats, strollers, toys, nursery furniture, pillows, swaddles, and anything else you can buy there instead of a baby store. Our BB&B recently got a major baby section upgrade, so I get tons of stuff there with those super coupons.

10. Don’t refuse the help. Yes, there’s a line between letting a thousand people traipse through your house every moment of the day and accepting the help of well-meaning friends and family for a few days, or a few days a week if they’re willing to keep it up for a little while. But if someone offers to snuggle the baby and let you nap, or let you shower, let them. If someone offers to do a load of laundry or pick up some groceries, let them. These things are so nice and helpful, and often it’s a chance for a friend or aunt or someone to meet your little bundle. A win-win for everyone!

All you almost-mamas, I hope this helps! Pass it along to anyone who might need some words of wisdom before their little babe gets here!

Do the veteran mamas have anything to add to the list?!

Featured on April’s Everyday Mom Link-Up!

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

That Moment When…

February 23, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

That moment when you look at your kids, and they’re playing nicely together.
That moment when their plates are empty, and haven’t been flung to the floor yet.
When they say please and thank you.
When they ask for an extra hug and kiss.
When they blow your mind with their brilliance, their intuitiveness, and their stinkin’ cute curls.

But also, that moment when she pushes him down.
That moment when all the stuffed animals are in the toilet.
That moment when you aren’t sure how much they ate, because food seems to multiply when it hits the floor.
When you’re sure your kids had friends over while you went to the bathroom, because two kids couldn’t have done that by themselves.
When you didn’t finish your breakfast, or your coffee, or shower.
When they refuse to nap, refuse to eat, refuse to be held, and refuse to be put down, simultaneously.

That moment, you are a mother. Yes, you’re always a mother, but you might wear a hundred other hats in a day… wife, sister, chef, friend, housekeeper, daughter, co-worker, chauffeur or any myriad of other jobs you may sometimes hold. But that moment, you’re simply a mom.

You are more than just a busy woman or even a slightly sticky, exhausted human. You’re a mom who provides fully, loves deeply, tries hard, and picks herself up when she slips. You’re a mom who kisses booboos, fixes hair, wipes noses, and cuts crusts off sandwiches. You’re a mom who molds minds, chases dreams, encourages personalities and shapes the future.

mommyhood

Don’t be discouraged, Mama.

February 13, 2015 Only Hsuman 6 Comments

So I had a text conversation with a mama friend today that was really encouraging and enlightening for me… and I’m glad that I made myself vulnerable enough to have it. Here’s a little cliff notes version: we talked about how being frustrated at something that happens with your kids (today it was lack of naps) can begin a self-pity party, and turn into frustration and even anger, and then all bets are off as far as having a good day after that. No one benefits when Mama is mad. Everything from that point escalates into a worse problem than it might have been when approached with a cool head and a loving heart.

How much did I need to have that conversation? A lot. When I’m frustrated over things that are totally out of my control (no naps were due to a loud house, what with screwing in the drywall ceilings today), I’m setting myself up for disaster. I could have just resolved for a snuggly afternoon in front of a movie, and early bedtimes, but instead, I got frustrated, strapped those kids into the stroller, and went for a run. That may have been the second best option (I didn’t yell or put them in time out or anything when it wasn’t really their fault) but I still feel like my heart wasn’t in the right place until I had the vulnerable conversation, opened my heart, and let a good word in.

Yes, as a mama, you get frustrated. Things sometimes will not go your way. Messes will be made, schedules will be off, kids will wake up in the middle of the night, your coffee will never get finished, and you’ll need your glass of wine earlier and earlier.

When your mama heart is tired and heavy, your kids’ tempers are flaring, and the clock says it isn’t bedtime or wine:30, just turn on that Disney Pandora station and have yourselves a little dance party. When no one slept well the night before, and the morning is starting way too early, invite your friend and her kids (who probably also woke up too early) for a cup of coffee in your messy living room, and let those kids entertain each other for a while. Sometimes breaking your own rules can be fun for all involved. When you feel like you’re not the best mother today – or you feel like you’re the world’s worst mother today – remind yourself that you love those kiddos, even when you don’t lie them. Remind yourself that they’re mostly fed (goldfish do count!), they’re wearing clean diapers (even if they should have peed in the potty), and they’re well-taken care of (even if you didn’t have an activity planned to stimulate each of their five senses). Some days are made for PBJs, all-day-PJs and snoozing in mama’s bed. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be the “Pinterest Mom” or the “Volunteer Queen” or the “Homeschool Heroine”. A mom who loves her kids and survives one day at a time is just fine.

mommyhood, parenting fails, pregnancy, siblings

Living with Multiple Toddlers

February 12, 2015 Only Hsuman 9 Comments

So, I don’t know what actually, truly constitutes a “toddler”, by definition anyway, but there is no one that “toddles” as much as my little one year old guy, so I’m guessing that qualifies him as a toddler. So, in effect, I have two toddlers.

That’s a scary sentence. Let’s say it again, for effect:

I. Have. Two. Toddlers. Yikes.

This means that life can be crazy. As a quick story, this morning, Hubby was in the shower, I was getting J dressed, and EK had been playing with toys in the living room. The next thing I know, I don’t see or hear her, so I dare to peek out the front door. She’s on the sidewalk, with a nice lady who has pulled over to ask the little girl where her mommy is. It could not have been more than 120 seconds that she was outside, but still. I know, awful things could have happened. I’m thankful they didn’t. We have a chain on the top of the door that’s usually locked, and when we took the trash out after breakfast, we forgot to lock it back. Parenting 101, epically failed.

She is the experienced toddler, who knows all about crying when she doesn’t get what she wants. She knows all about working the room. She knows all about needing to potty right after she’s gone to bed, and about sneaking around the house really quietly in the morning in search of candy before Mommy manages to drag her exhausted self out of bed. Right now, our biggest fights are over nightgowns. She has two frilly little nightgowns she loves to wear, and if I let her, she’d wear them all day. Every once in a while, I break down and let her put it on for a nap, because as she reminds me, nightgowns are something you wear while you sleep. (Cue face palm because I should have said “sleeping AT NIGHT”.) If they are both in the laundry, then all bets for going to bed are off, because regular pajamas WILL NOT BE PUT ON HER BODY. So there.

One of the two favored nightgowns. Funny side note: she’s never watched Sophia the First.

not caring meme — Photo from http://www.imgarcade.com

I also have one brand new toddler who, in addition to being extremely clumsy, is also very brave. Scaling furniture is less of a problem for him than simply walking from the car to the front door. Climbing the shelves in the kitchen is much easier than getting into his toddler-sized chair. He’s a little like the Tazmanian Devil, what with the messes that tend to follow him everywhere. He HATES the word “no” right now. If I have to tell him to stop doing something (smashing my laptop, carrying Daddy’s coffee around the room, etc) he immediately dissolves into wails. I think he just hears the word so often that he’s grown to hate it. I’m trying to figure out something else to say instead, but there’s just nothing as good as plain ol’ “no”.

My little guy, eating his eclectic meal and then spreading it all over creation.

We managed to never have this problem with EK…

However, there are some pretty hilarious perks.

J says “thank you” to and for everything. He hands me something, and says it. He takes something from me, and says it. Picks something up off the floor, and says it. Puts a toy away, and says it. I guess I say it a lot? He also is doing this funny thing where he will eat almost anything, but only about 5 bites of it. His plate is very eclectic, because I know that bites 6-10 are wasted, so it’s got to be 5 bites of 5 different things. The things we do to ensure that our kids are eating enough…

IMG_9438-0 — I ask them to eat dinner when we’re at home, they holler and make a mess. Daddy takes them out to eat, and they look like angels all night.

EK is extremely good at communicating now, but every once in a while she gets stuck on something. She can’t quite get herself unbuckled from her car seat (I’m pretty sure I’m glad about it) but she can get one buckle undone, and then yells, “Somebody! HELP ME!” like I’m kidnapping her. I think it’s hilarious, but the passersby may think otherwise. She also loves the song from The Sound of Music “Do-Re-Mi” and whenever she sings it, she starts like this: “Do a deer, I call myself. Fa, a long long way to run. So, I need to pull a thread. La, I need to follow so. Ti, blah-blah-blah-blah bread! Sing sing back to do!” It’s basically the best. Whenever she starts singing it, Hubby and I just look at each other and try not to laugh until she’s finished. Her other key phrase is “Oh my gosh!” No explanation needed.

Keep the toddler on your lap for a snuggle whenever you can, because it isn’t often.

What are some crazy antics of your toddlers? Anything they say that’s hilarious every time? Any silly habits or funny things they do?8

Featured on April’s Everyday Mom Link-Up!

pregnancy, random thoughts

Six Names for Successful Boys

February 4, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Upon reading list after list of “strong boy names”, I noticed a trend. There were lots of names of American icons (former presidents, founding fathers, actors, inventors and heroes in general) that are considered to be names that would let the boy next door grow into a great man. Here are a few of the ones I thought stood out…

William
Yes, it’s a common name, but it’s considered a strong one, and has been held by many famous Americans, such as William Faulkner (author), William Holden (wonderful actor), William Wordsworth (poet), and including four presidents (William “Bill” Clinton, William Howard Taft, William Henry Harrison, and William McKinley).

Charles
Another common name, with a lot of history to it. Famous Americans include Charles Schulz (Peanuts!), Charles Dickens (author), Charles Lindbergh (aviator), Charles Goodyear (inventor) and Charles Houston (civil rights activist)

Benjamin
A Biblical name, but also a strong, male name. Big Bens include Benjamin Franklin (I refuse to explain him on principle), Benjamin Bratt (actor), Benjamin Harrison (president), and Benjamin Guggenheim (businessman, died on the TITANIC!)

Henry
I like this name a lot, and think it’s a classic. American Henrys: Henry Ford (obivously), Henry Winkler (the Fonz actor), Henry David Thoreau (philosopher and poet), William Henry Harrison (some of these presidents really doubled up), and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (poet)

Christopher
Hubby’s middle name, so it’s obviously important, but it’s also a famous one. Famous Christophers: Christopher Reeve (SUPER actor), Chris Paul (one of the only famous basketball players I would know), Christopher Ferguson (astronaut – I’m a nerd), and can we just count Christopher Columbus as an American?

Thomas
A name meaning “twin” obviously gained popularity. We can start by naming the presidents (Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Woodrow Wilson) and move on to include Thomas Edison (inventor), Tom Hanks (actor), Thomas Wolfe (writer, playwright), and Thomas Eakins (artist, sculptor).

What names would you add to the list for the boy next door/future American icon?

mommyhood, pregnancy

What’s Your Name, Sweet One?

January 31, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

When you’re pregnant, you’re a planner, and you’re OCD like me, you want to name that baby. Specifically, you’d like to name that baby so you can speak about it without saying “it” all the time. Hubby rarely wants to talk names until we know the gender around 20 weeks, which I guess I understand, but still… isn’t it fun to think of names?! Even really silly ones you know you’d never use?!

Naming a child is serious business. They keep it forever… they can truly become the name. It helps mold them into themselves. The pressure is on, in other words, to choose wisely.

When naming EK, I knew immediately the route I wanted to take. I’d had a dream about four months before I got pregnant with her that I had a baby girl named Ella Katharine. I specifically remember in my dream that Katharine was spelled like Katharine Hepburn (and yes, that was the association in my mind). However, when we got pregnant and started talking names, we wanted to use family names. So I started looking for something approximating Ella and Katharine in our families. And of course, nada for both. However, I came up with a way to honor two wonderful women, and mostly keep with the name for my daughter that I had dreamed of. EK’s full name is Elena Kathleen, and we call her Ella Kate. Elena is my mom’s first name (who goes by her middle name, by the way) and Kathleen is my ,om’s mom’s mom’s name – my maternal great-grandmother, Mamaw, whom I knew and loved for my first 18 years. I was so pleased with the full name, the nickname, and the whole idea of it that I knew it couldn’t be topped.

When naming our son, we had a different thought – no dream this time to help us out. We still wanted to use family names though, and when we found out it was a boy, we had it narrowed down to two options. We knew his middle name would be Stevens (Hubby’s mom’s maiden name, and middle name of Hubby’s middle brother) but we had two first names we’d tied with. Both were family names, and both had been used a few times within the family. We ended up choosing Joseph, Hubby’s dad’s name, and also Hubby’s eldest brother’s first name (which he doesn’t go by). We literally covered all Hubby’s immediate family with his full name, Joseph Stevens. It worked out really well!

Now that we’ve used two names from my family and two names from Hubby’s, we haven’t decided whether we want to use more family names (we have several more we’d love to incorporate) or whether we want to go completely out of the box. Obviously we don’t know gender yet, so Hubby hasn’t made too many contributions to the conversation, but my mind is spinning with possibilities, options for pleasant-sounding double names if it’s a girl (I do love a good, southern, double name.) or strong, handsome boy names.

The main problem I have thinking about baby names is the same problem I had picking tile for the bathroom floor, and paint color for the walls: I like everything. I literally like so many different things that it’s difficult for me to choose. I love Biblical names and their accompanying history. I love Celtic names and the way they sound when you speak them. I love strong, traditional, common names, that everyone will know how to pronounce and spell. I love family names and the honor we can give to people we love. I love non-traditional, unique names – to an extent. But let’s be honest: I shan’t be using “Apple” or “Blue”.

I came across this app (now I can’t even remember where I read about it) called Baby Name Genius, and it took over my life for a little bit. A name pops up, you give it the “thumbs up” or “thumbs down”, and it generates a name you might like, based on your previous opinions. I wasted several minutes (read: hours) throughout a couple of days giving my approval or disapproval of names, until I felt like it was giving me the same names over and over again (including ones I had thumbs-downed!). Bummer. It says the app has tens of thousands of names. I didn’t see that many. Anyway, I’ve been doing random research reading lists of celebrity baby names, names for girls based on adventurous women, names for boys based on sensitive men, you get the idea. Reading short lists is better than starting at “A” on nameberry.com.

All this is to say that I’m going to post a few fun or funky lists of names that have caught my eye for one reason or another. But you’ll have to wait. I don’t want to give it all away in one post! How dare I? Make you come back?! I know. I’m stringing you along, aren’t I? Hopefully these baby-naming posts will culminate in an actual decision about what Hsu Baby #3 will be called! If you’d like to weigh in with a suggestion, leave it in the comments!

faith, mommyhood

Being Intentional vs. Relinquishing Control

January 29, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

I’m about to be brutally honest, y’all.

I’m struggling to find a balance in my life right now.

I want to live intentionally. I want to be intentional. An intentional Christian. An intentional wife. An intentional mother. An intentional friend. This leaves me floundering in things I want to do and “need” to do to keep relationships up and chores, etc done. I’m finding that I want control in so many areas so that my intentionality shows through. Basically, my OCD is going nuts over making sure every single thing I do has a reason and a good result.

The real result? I’m being so controlling that there is no grace and no room for error. You know who errors a lot? Kids. Husbands. Wives. Friends. People. EVERY SINGLE PERSON. I’m turning into an angry monster when things don’t go my way. (Hormones, much?) I’m realizing that being intentional isn’t the only thing that matters. And if I fail a little at being intentional, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve achieved the opposite – some sort of willy-nilly disregard for results or consequences.

I need to reign myself in, and let Jesus increase in my life. I’m not leaning on Him enough. I know this to be true, because doing things on my own, I will fail every time. I’m not bringing Him glory by trying to control everything in the name of being intentional. But I could bring Him glory by letting myself decrease, and letting Him increase.

I’m not saying this is easy for me. Actually, it’s one of the more difficult things I’ll ever do. Relinquish control over situations, over life in general? Yeah right. I’m good at organizing and managing. I can handle it, right? Well, I can’t. I’m realizing it more and more every day that I try. I can’t be a graceful parent without receiving the grace the Father has for me. I can’t be a wife who loves her husband unconditionally unless I receive the unconditional love from my heavenly Bridegroom. I can’t be a friend who listens and loves well, unless I am loved and renewed by my Savior and Friend.

Remember my New Year’s Resolution that wasn’t a resolution? To embrace it: life, my situation, whatever “it” was? Well, this is all going to be part of that – make it easier, even. Embrace my situation by relinquishing my control over it, and choosing to see myself, others, and my life the way God does. Seeing the world through His eyes instead of my judgmental, small-minded view could change everything for the better! I’m just taking the very first step in making that change… admitting that I need one.

mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails

Failing at Manners

January 19, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com !

Growling "like a dinosaur" instead of eating her lunch. — Growling “like a dinosaur” instead of eating her lunch.

So, I’ve been trying to teach EK about manners. I know, my two and a half year old doesn’t know much about manners (says anyone who’s ever spent time with her). She’s a little spastic, likes to run around instead of stay in her chair during meals, and thinks spitting, yelling, sounding like a fire truck, and pushing down her brother (who just learned to walk) are all acceptable things to do. We talk every day about being polite, making good choices, and being kind to others, and I can tell it’s finally starting to sink in. She knows better than doing lots of the things we talk about. And that’s where we get stuck.

Recently, she’s been saying, “That’s funny!” or “Ella Kate so funny!” after she does something mean or rude. So the other day, I countered with, “No, that’s not funny. That’s rude.” If you could tell me how to take those words back, I’d pay you a million dollars.

I have literally heard that phrase several times a day since I said it the first – and only – time. Of all the things I say that she parrots, I can’t believe that’s the one. Sometimes, she does something truly funny, and we tell her so. And right on cue, she responds with, “No! That’s not funny! That’s rude!”

Talk about a lost meaning. A giant parenting fail that I committed, just as I was trying to teach manners. The best laid plans, right? Well, I can’t stop teaching her about manners because I had an epic fail. I can’t just let her run me over when I try to teach her right from wrong. One failed teachable moment doesn’t excuse me from ever teaching her anything again. It just makes me want to get it right even more. As a parent, it’s my job to teach her to make good choices on her own, so that she can do it without me later. It’s a scarily important role, teaching those things. It’s tough. I’m sure when she’s a teenager, it’ll be tougher still. But I can’t be discouraged by one fail, or five fails, or a thousand. That loud, endearingly crazy girl is going to get the right idea, if I can help guide her in spite of ourselves.

mommyhood, pregnancy

Pregnant With My Third! (Volume 2)

January 16, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

Written at 6 weeks.

This is my first pregnancy that I haven’t had a full-time job. Wait. Let’s restate that. This is my first pregnancy that I haven’t had a full-time job teaching, outside of the home. I do have a full-time job right now. I mother two kiddos. That IS a full-time job.

This pregnancy has been an interesting one so far because I feel like I’ve known I was pregnant forever already. I mean two weeks but still. With EK, I found out at 6 weeks. With J, I found out at 9 weeks. Finding out at 4 weeks was awesome (my lifestyle changed immediately and entirely) and also difficult. Some symptoms I was having already (fatigue, digestive weirdness, etc)and then some seemed to intensify when I saw those two lines on that test. My fatigue went from early bedtime to needing a nap almost daily. My appetite skyrocketed, which had happened with EK. At 6 weeks, I was calling myself crazy because I was SURE I could feel the baby move. And no, it wasn’t gas. I’ve been pregnant before – I know the difference. Best response ever from my friend who received the text, swearing I could feel my lentil-sized baby move: “Maybe not that early for baby #3 – they say you are so in tune by then. I wouldn’t doubt it… Heartbeat and spontaneous movement start at 6 weeks.” Friends validating a girl for the win!

I do really want to believe that I’m so in tune with my body that I can feel every little hormone surge (yes, I’m crying about everything) and little spontaneous movement in my womb. Who knows. But the likelihood is that a lot of it’s mental. I know I’m pregnant, and I know that I’ve felt those things before… so why wouldn’t I be feeling them right now?

Has anyone else ever had super early pregnancy symptoms? Or felt like you had those “feelings” when you… didn’t?

faith, health and fitness, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy, Run Away.

A Time Out for Mommy

January 12, 2015 Only Hsuman 8 Comments

My lungs are burning, I thought. Whether from cold or effort I don’t know.

That was the first real thought of what might have been a hundred during my first mile.

It’s been too long since my last run… especially since I’m pushing this double stroller.

Why didn’t I pack tissues?! There was room in the stroller for goodness sake!

If my fingertips are this numb, how are my kids doing? Why didn’t I make them wear gloves? Worst mom ever!

Gosh, I have to pee. I know. Pregnant with my third kid and I have to pee. Big surprise.

How many times is EK gonna drop that blanket? I’m never going to make it for three miles if I’m stopping every ten feet.

This is just a sampling of how my mind rambles while I’m running. It’s extremely silly sometimes, how my mind will come up with anything to think about besides the work it’s doing. And the truth was that even though it had been awhile since my last run, I wasn’t even working that hard. What was hard was the cold, my runny nose, and the fact that I always have to go to the bathroom.

But I needed the time out. Time outdoors. Time out in the sunshine (which has been hit or miss these days). Time out for my kiddos – not like a punishment, but a total removal from their current situation (sitting inside, toddling along after me, asking to be picked up). Time out of my normal laundry-dishes-picking-up routine. Time out from my “feed the kids, change a diaper, clean, repeat” routine. A mama can only put together 2732 puzzles before she needs a time out.

And y’all, when I tell you I need a time out, I’m serious. I get frustrated easily. Call it hormones, call it a generational curse, call it whatever you want. But I do. I work on it all day, every day. I pray about it. I have others pray with me about it. But I’m human, and I lose patience and lose resolve. So when I need to get rid of some frustration, I like going on a run. Winter is the worst, because my time out can’t happen if it’s below about 45 degrees (yes, I’m a weenie and I hate the cold). But when it’s 45 or above, my double jogging stroller is my best friend, who understands my venting and my struggles. Okay, fine. “Understands” is a stretch, but you get the idea. At least the stroller doesn’t struggle back.

Sometimes, I’m in need of more than just a run. I’m in need of a run to Jesus. I pray harder every mile. I pray for myself, I pray for my kids, my Hubby, my friends, my family. I pray for grace as a mama. I pray for patience and a clean heart. I pray that the 25 minute nap that J got in the stroller will last him till bedtime. I pray that I won’t collapse going up the last hill before I’m home. I pray because I need Jesus so much. I know that he’s the only one who truly understands, and can cleanse me and mold me into a more perfect woman in his sight.

We're Only Hsuman…