Tag Archives: toddlers

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

Keeping My Cool When My Kid Can’t

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This post also appeared on the My Big Jesus blog! 

A sweet Irish-inspired moment.
A sweet Irish-inspired moment.

Sometimes, your kid (read: toddler) gets upset. Really upset. Really, really upset. For me, when that moment begins, the first thing I want to do is the same thing my toddler’s doing: cry, throw something, run away… you get my drift.

I’ve heard all the ways to prevent these meltdowns from happening: make sure they aren’t tired or hungry, prepare them properly for whatever you’re asking them to do, let them help make the decisions, etc. All of these are well and fine, and may actually work, but every once in a while, the circumstances are out of your control, or things just look differently than you had planned. And your toddler doesn’t go with the flow like she usually does. She freaks out.

Now, in the depths of my OCD soul, I must have order. (Yes, I just sounded like Delores Umbridge in Order of the Phoenix.) I’m coming to terms with the fact that being a mom means not having it. But I like routines, and so do my kids. I like schedules, and so do my kids. But when our schedules and routines fail, we are all a big mess.

This week, my kids were sick. That meant a trip to the doctor (during naptime, because that was the only time they could get us in), humidifiers, Tylenol, movie-watching and trying extra hard to get to bed on time. It also meant no preschool, no church, no play dates, no leaving the house and no fun-having. FOR ANYONE.

On my list of priorities, right behind routines and schedules is getting out of the house. I get cabin fever in roughly 20 minutes. Even if all I do is go to the grocery store and buy one item (typically milk or bananas), I need to get out. Sometimes, putting the kids in the stroller and making laps around the neighborhood does the trick. (Note: this week was cold and rainy.) But I need to drop EK off at preschool. I need to let them play on the playground or at Chick-fil-A. I need to have friends over. I need my kids to have fun so that I can, too.

This week has been a whirlwind of crying, coughing, needing, snuggling, napping, refusing to nap, and wearing pajamas. I’m trying to appreciate these moments of relaxation and snuggling on Mommy’s bed watching Disney movies. I’m trying to appreciate a slow down, especially in the midst of a renovation and gearing up for a busy spring. But it’s been hard. I’ve been reaching out to the Father for patience and for health. I’ve been wrestling toddlers and sickness and the need for caffeine versus the amount I’m allowed to have while pregnant. I may or may not have subbed in sugar on several occasions.

But this is life. This is a season. It’s already almost over. Later when they’re sick, I’ll just hand them a Gatorade and they’ll sleep till they feel better. There won’t be extra snuggles and needing me. I will do my best to rest in these times, to enjoy the break in routine, with the help of Someone who knows the weight of being needed.

mommyhood, parenting fails, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say: Grandparents Edition

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This past weekend, my parents were up here from Georgia. Because of the renovations, there isn’t exactly a guest room, so we blew up a queen-sized air mattress, and they slept in the kitchen floor. I know –  crazy.  Anyway, the air mattress in the kitchen was a lovely plaything for the kiddos, and EK was making us laugh by calling all the pillows “puddles”. I’m not sure where the disconnect was, but no matter how many times I tried to correct her, it wouldn’t take. That may or may not have been because I was laughing so hard about her saying “puddles”.

We did have a little moment on Saturday when J and EK were playing on the air mattress – like we frequently do on Hubby’s and my bed, which is king-sized – where J was rolling and rolling, and rolled right off onto the floor. Now, this thing is sitting on the ground, so the floor was less than a foot away, so he wasn’t falling from several feet or anything. But, he must’ve hit his face first, before anything else took the weight off, because he ended up with a giant bruise (and scratch, somehow) on his cheek. I noticed today (four days later) that the lovely green and purple have spread up to his eye. I think it’s appropriate to do this: #motheroftheyear

My other favorite thing EK said was when she had woken up from her nap on Sunday, and my parents had left to go home. She knew they would leave while she was asleep, and she got a goodbye hug and kiss and everything, but this was the first thing she said when she woke up:

“Necie and G-Daddy gone to Georgia! I can’t find them! I need to chase them!”

Necie and G-Daddy are obviously what we call my parents. Once again, I will reiterate that she knew they were leaving. And also, I’m not sure we’ve really used the word “chase” before, so I’m not sure when she decided chasing them to Georgia would work, but she definitely wanted to go for it.

An aside: My kids love my parents. They don’t see them as much as Hubby’s family members, so it’s a special treat when they’re here. They also get pretty spoiled, which as long as I’m not doing it, I don’t really mind. But there are definitely times that they get to do silly things (see picture above) that I’d not normally be okay with.

Anyone have a hilarious thing your toddler said this week that you’d like to share?!

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faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy, siblings

I am exhausted.

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This post appeared on the My Big Jesus blog!  We spent today bopping around town, carrying kids to and fro, shopping for this and getting ready for that. Our house is a madhouse, like it often is these days. I don’t mind – really, I don’t. I know that it’s a season, and that things will return to a semi-normal. I know that my kids will be these ages but once. I know that my niece and nephew (who I also got to see this evening!) will be these ages but once.

Yet, my lovely and insightful mother-in-law said something to me, in passing really, tonight that made me think. She had spent the morning with my son, and part of the afternoon with my daughter. She said, “I don’t know how y’all do it with these two. I guess I did it with mine, but I’m exhausted!” Going on, she explained that she meant chasing them around her house, entertaining them, and making sure nothing got broken.

Well let me tell you, I understood her completely. While my house is basically baby-proofed and I can let them run free a little more in our home than she can in hers (split-level=stairs upon stairs) I am still frequently exhausted at the end of the day. Even if I haven’t completed a single housekeeping task, or didn’t get in a work out, or haven’t left the house, or if I did catch a little snooze during someone’s naptime, I’m often exhausted.

It isn’t simply that my back hurts, or that I’m sleep deprived, although sometimes those things are true. (Have you lugged around a 30lb sack of flour recently?) It’s emotional exhaustion. It’s mental exhaustion. I’m not a creative person, so EK really makes me work my imagination (ie: silly voices, strange scenarios, and telling her “stories” that I made up). I’m constantly trying to think of ways to educate – nay, entertain – two developmental levels, two totally different personalities. I’m trying to explain to my daughter why she should share, can’t push her brother, and shouldn’t scream in the house. I’m trying to distract my son when he just wants to be held – for the entire 12 hours he is awake. I’m trying to make healthy breakfasts and dinners that also look enticing and taste delicious. I’m trying to not lose patience with messes and attitudes and too-short naps and refused meals. It’s a lot. It’s trying, giving, sacrificing, and pushing myself.

So yes, in a word, I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted when I think of how much love I’ve got in my heart for these little beings that need me so. I’m exhausted when I think that by the end of this summer, I’ll have a third little being that needs me like these two do. I’m exhausted when I think that in 18 years, they’ll need me so much less. I’m exhausted to think they won’t always snuggle into my neck or say “mmmmmm-ah!” when I ask for a kiss. But being exhausted in the midst of right now is a fulfilled, happy exhaustion. When I slip into my bed, and don’t have time to finish one sentence in my book, I’m not really upset about it. I’m just wishing I had more patience, more creativity, more knowledge to share with those exciting, excitable toddlers that I call my own.

mommyhood

Things Toddlers Say

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I’ve been a little slack this week. There’s been a lot going on. Good things are coming, I promise! To show you, here’s a hilarious little glimpse into the conversations one might have with my sweet baby girl…

I’ve started trying to write down the funny things that EK says now that she’s such a great talker. Hopefully you’ll laugh about these as much as I did!

EK, unprompted, when I picked her up from childcare at the Y: Mom! I dressed up! I played toys! I played balls! I played diaper man!
Me: ….neat, babe!

Me, to Hubby: what time did EK get up this morning?
EK: at fourteen.

EK: Help me do my nightgwown!
Me: Okay, here, it’s inside out.
EK: I GOT IT! NO!
Me: You asked me to help you.
EK: I DON’T NEED HELP!
Me: …okay…

EK: I need a tissue.
Me: Okay, here you go.
(I hand her a tissue)
EK: Phew. I had two booders!
(Boogers, obviously.)

Hubby: EK, could you sing “Getting To Know You”?
EK: Hang on. I need my mikey-phone.

Those are just a few funnies from this week! What are some hilarious things that your toddler says!?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, siblings

He’s gonna be a sockah playah!

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This post also appeared on MyBigJesus.com

My eldest child is a daughter. My daughter is not an athlete. I don’t consider this to be a reflection on her gender. I don’t consider this to be a reflection on her girlhood. I consider it to be a bit of laziness and a bit of clumsiness, combined with the fact that mom and dad and grandma and grandpa and everyone in her life have always done what she needed. She loves to dance and loves to run, but she is not very graceful. It’s endearing, truly.

My son however it is already running as soon as he learned to walk. He is climbing. He is jumping and shouting and being fast and crazy. The desire to be faster and stronger is so much more with the second child. I don’t think their differences are boy versus girl. I think their differences have more to do with the fact that my son has always wanted to catch up to my daughter. Maybe it’s just a second child thing.

Those things being said, I will fully support the habits, desires and interests of my kids. If EK wants to try out for every sports team her entire life, I’ll support it. If J never wants to do anything athletic in his life, I’ll support it. I want them to be well-rounded, but also happy. I’d love them to be musical and athletic and theatrical and academic and social and everything all at once… wouldn’t everyone like their kids to have talent out the wazoo and be gifted in anything they tried? But that just isn’t the most practical thing to expect of your child.

I know my kids aren’t old enough to have really shown us what their talents or interests are yet, but I’m preparing for it. I know it’s coming. And when it comes, we’ve got ten years at least of it being a huge part of our lives. I don’t want to be a mom who forces her kids into things they don’t care about, or makes them stick with what they started for several more years, even if they hate it. That being said, we won’t decide that our first piano lesson wasn’t what we thought and we can just quit. We also, won’t try one new thing every single year till high school graduation. That just gets too crazy. We will strive for a good balance, no over commitment, and the most fun and learning. Those are the priorities.

Now remind me of that in 5 years or so, okay?

home, mommyhood

How to get your toddler to nap in 33 easy steps.

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If only my kiddos loved naps as much as I do…

This is our simple, easy, nap routine! Is it similar to yours? 

 1. Notice your toddler’s getting a tad cranky.
2. Look at the clock.
3. Realize it’s definitely time for a nap.
4. Tell your little sweetie it’s time for a nap.
5. She asks for “5 more minutes”.
6. You agree.
7. 3 or so minutes later, you remind her it’s time for nap.
8. She asks for 5 more minutes.
9. You say “you already had five minutes”.
10. She cries.
11. You say, “This is why it’s nap time.”
12. Change her diaper.
13. Ask her if she’d also like to sit on the potty.
14. She says no.
15. Ask her to try anyway.
16. Put her on the potty.
17. Wait 3-5 minutes.
18. Put her in her clean diaper.
19. She asks to wear her “nightgwown”.
20. You concede, knowing it’ll be worse if you don’t.
21. Change her into her “nightgwown”.
22. Tuck her in.
23. She asks for a bottle (sippy cup) of milk.
24. You say, “Okay, stay here and I’ll be right back.”
25. Go to the kitchen, pour the milk, warm it up.
26. See a “ghost” with a blanket over her head walking through the living room.
27. Put the ghost back to bed with her milk.
28. Tuck her in.
29. Wait 3-5 minutes.
30. Hear a toddler playing with toys or reading books.
31. Put her back to bed.
32. Wait 3-5 minutes.
33. If all is quiet, you’ve finally succeeded.

mommyhood

Things Toddlers Say – Backseat Driver Edition

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This may become a normal series of posts, now that my kids are speaking more and better (sort of). They say the darnedest things, right?



EK has this new thing she’s doing while we’re in the car. Her seat is on the driver’s side of the car, and so she sees mostly oncoming traffic. She keeps saying, “Mommy! Don’t hit that car! Don’t hit that trash can! Don’t hit that tree! Don’t hit that house!” half the time we’re moving. It’s about to get real, because when she shouts, “Mommy!” it startles me enough to make me want to turn around, or look frantically around to see what’s happening. She’s also about to turn into the girl who cried wolf, because now when she’s like, “There’s a ________!” I won’t believe her. I basically told her to stop shouting in the car because it made me nervous. 

Has anyone else dealt with this with their toddlers?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

That Moment When…

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That moment when you look at your kids, and they’re playing nicely together.
That moment when their plates are empty, and haven’t been flung to the floor yet.
When they say please and thank you.
When they ask for an extra hug and kiss.
When they blow your mind with their brilliance, their intuitiveness, and their stinkin’ cute curls.

But also, that moment when she pushes him down.
That moment when all the stuffed animals are in the toilet.
That moment when you aren’t sure how much they ate, because food seems to multiply when it hits the floor.
When you’re sure your kids had friends over while you went to the bathroom, because two kids couldn’t have done that by themselves.
When you didn’t finish your breakfast, or your coffee, or shower.
When they refuse to nap, refuse to eat, refuse to be held, and refuse to be put down, simultaneously.

That moment, you are a mother. Yes, you’re always a mother, but you might wear a hundred other hats in a day… wife, sister, chef, friend, housekeeper, daughter, co-worker, chauffeur or any myriad of other jobs you may sometimes hold. But that moment, you’re simply a mom.

You are more than just a busy woman or even a slightly sticky, exhausted human. You’re a mom who provides fully, loves deeply, tries hard, and picks herself up when she slips. You’re a mom who kisses booboos, fixes hair, wipes noses, and cuts crusts off sandwiches. You’re a mom who molds minds, chases dreams, encourages personalities and shapes the future.

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faith, home, mommyhood, parenting fails, pregnancy

Hard Mornings Can Still Become Good Days

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This morning, I was the grump queen. Can't you tell?
This morning, I was the grump queen. Can’t you tell?

Sometimes, EK drives me up the wall.

She shouts. She often shouts things I’ve heard myself say. I try really hard not to shout or yell or holler or whatever at my kids, but sometimes the words I use in a speaking voice that probably are the same as yelling. Sometimes, she’s whiny and tantrum-y and needy and clingy and attached to Daddy even when I’m the only one around, and it’s hard. It can be so hard. Especially when there’s another little one who is also clingy and needy and whiny, it’s really hard. It wears on me. And let’s not pretend that my pregnancy hormones aren’t making it worse, because they are. “She of little patience” has become “Monster with no patience at all”.

Today, we had a hectic morning. I was trying to get the kids and me (with our laundry) out the door so that sick Hubby could rest without screeching (the happy or the sad kind) and bumping and whatever other kid-related noise. While I was doing the normal stuff to get them ready to go, something happened. For the first time, EK hit me. I was totally baffled. I didn’t even punish her. I couldn’t figure out why or what started it. I’d been doing what I normally do in the morning – fixing breakfasts, getting everyone dressed, finding shoes and coats, convincing them to help me get them ready to go, etc. I leaned down to pick something up off the floor (I can’t remember what, now) and while I was leaning over, she swiped at me, right on the side of my head.

It didn’t hurt. She’s just a little girl, so obviously I wasn’t hurt. But my feelings were. I’ve never clocked her on the side of the head (duh) so why would she think to do that to me? She didn’t seem particularly upset in that moment, and I didn’t even say much besides, “Why did you just hit me? Should you sit in time out?” I didn’t know how to respond, really. I just went on with getting us ready and out the door, and remembered it only a few minutes ago.

It was a terrible morning, really. We were all on edge from the moment we woke up. It might have to do with the fact that I woke up on the couch, EK woke up too early, and J woke up too late. It might have to do with the fact that I rushed them immediately out the door. It might be that I wouldn’t let them go see Daddy because I didn’t want them to get sick. It might be a hundred other things. But we were all in a crappy mood, and it just compounded when we were all doing it together.

But after we had spent a morning having breakfast with friends in our favorite little bakery (Tart Sweets – their cinnamon rolls were divine), had a few minutes of play time at home, picking up lunch from Cookout and eating at while we shopped at Babies R Us (it was a weird day, okay?) the kids were in great spirits and are now down in the second hour of their naps. A DOUBLE NAP! I’ve already prepped dinner! It’s wonderful MADNESS, I tell you! Hubby is a little weak, but still peacefully sleeping as he’s been doing all day, the kids and I had a tickle fight on EK’s bed before they napped, and I thankfully got a shower. See, my day could be redeemed. But I won’t pretend that as I packed them in the car, both crying, to go to breakfast, I wasn’t crying along with them, saying, “Jesus, take the freaking wheel.”

After a freezing cold week of being semi-iced-in, cancelled preschool and church activities, and random bouts of sickness, we needed a day out on the town, visiting friends and being productive. We needed to be worn out in a good way. We needed a day away from the TV. The kids are tired of spending all their time in one room (they’re used to roaming between upstairs and downstairs), the half of their toys that aren’t packed, and the fact that we’ve resorted to watching too much TV (even if it’s movies). It’s terrible. I’ve felt cooped up and so do they. We are ready for spring, for the renovations to be done, and for life to return to its regularly scheduled programming. Right now, in our lives, the struggle is real. But thank you Jesus for the reminder that my day, the kids’ day, our lives in general, can be redeemed.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails

You Ruined the Moment!

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IMG_9540

Today, I had a moment. A moment of full appreciation of all my little guy’s cuteness and quirks. He’d gotten up from his nap a little fussy, and just wanted to cuddle. He needed his mama. I was obviously glad to oblige. I was even tearing up, burying my face in his curls behind his ears, and telling Hubby how glad I was to have a little guy who loved his mama. Then just like that, the moment was over – squelched by a bit of vomit, rolling right down our sleeves and on to my pants.

Thanks a lot, kid.

Luckily, we both needed baths anyway, so I took him to my bathroom, figuring we’d just hop in the shower. As soon as I got his diaper off, he decided to make sure the aforementioned sweet moment was completely gone. He stood up straight, took a big breath, and peed right onto the bath mat.

It was gone. But thanks for making sure, kid.

But the truth is that I often look at my little humans and think about how incredible they are. I think about how EK has her daddy’s hazel eyes, with the speckles of gold. I think about how J has the ice blue eyes of my grandfather, who died while I was pregnant with J. I think about EK’s stubborn personality and wonder (batting my eyes and smiling sneakily) where she could have possibly gotten it from! I listen to J’s happy wordless jabber, probably making up stories and using his imagination already. They’re amazing. God has already given them a thousand unique qualities that I will love, struggle with, pray over and brag about. They are mine, my own. And they are wonderfully and fearfully made.