Yearly Archives: 2017

books, faith, mommyhood, music, random thoughts, women

Stir It Up -Finding My Calling as I Go

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As I was reading and having some quiet time yesterday afternoon, an image came to me, and I just had to stop and pray about it. I was led to pray for God to “stir up” my calling within me. I haven’t ever had a single moment in my life where I thought, This is it! This is the thing that I’m supposed to do forever! I’ve had many times where I’ve really been enjoying a job or a season or a ministry with which I’ve been involved. But I don’t know that any of those things ever resulted in a clear “Aha!” moment.

However, I do think that I’ve been easing into my calling for years. I love music. I love worship. I love Jesus. I love my husband and my kids. Just recently, I’ve been made aware (through His grace and a little bit of providence) that I love women’s ministry. I’m reading two books right now (Wild and Free by Hayley Morgan and Jess Connolly, which I’m almost done with, but I just can’t read more than a little bit at a time because I cry a lot, and Lioness Arising, by Lisa Bevere) that are focused on women, and focused on freedom in Jesus to be who He has called you to be. These books are changing my thoughts about women and ministry, and women’s ministry. I am learning that freedom and wildness is what Jesus wants for us, especially as women, where we can feel so bound by our roles (familial, cultural, etc) and the chains that come with them. The most beautiful thing about us, as women who follow Jesus, is that we are all different. We have things that we’re good at, and not so good at, things we love, and things we don’t like to do as much. We are fierce, whether loudly or quietly. We are called and equipped and FREE to do His will, and that’s an incredible (and overwhelming) feeling. These books, coupled with the Scriptural references within, are truly opening my eyes to a new way of thinking about myself and how Jesus sees me.

So when I felt like He was leading me to pray for a “stirring up” of my calling, I pictured it this way: there are lots of pieces of me – things that I’m good at, things I love, and spheres of influence that I have been welcomed into. There are all these ingredients for Him to work with, as He is crafting me into a woman of His own design and His own purpose. What will it all hold for me? I don’t know yet. But I am praying now more than ever that I will be cognizant of His call, sensitive to His voice, and willing to go wherever it is He would have me go. And isn’t it usually true that it’s going to be uncomfortable along the way? I’ve been praying about that, too.

You see, I have had this idea about what I should be doing with my church job, my blog, my family, my friends. I felt like I had found a good niche with all of these things. But I’m learning that it can grow stale if I don’t listen to what He is telling me. (Disclaimer: I’ve not been unhappy in any of these situations. I’m just learning to grow in them instead of stagnate.) I truly do want Him to stir up a calling. I want Him to take all the ingredients of which I am made, and have Him stir it up into something for His good.

So let it be, Lord. Stir it up within me. Make me into a wild, fierce woman for Your kingdom.

health and fitness

So I Got Some New Shoes…

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I wouldn’t necessarily classify myself as a runner; that trendy word happens to have a lot of stigma, like (over)sharing how many miles you went every time you do it, having a sticker on your car that says “26.2”, etc. But I do run. I run a few times a week, if weather permits – and no, I don’t run in rain or freezing cold. I guess that’s part of why I don’t consider myself “a runner”. I enjoy it, I’ve participated in a few races, and I like running to be my cardio.

I’ve been wearing Nikes for the past few years, as my “training” (a term a use loosely) has ebbed and flowed during pregnancies and cold weather, and fluctuated from running to lifting to yoga, and back and forth. I like doing lots of different kinds of things, and I think that’s healthy for your body as well.

But dang. This week, I got some new shoes. Nice ones. Running shoes. Brooks, to be exact. I’ve only been running twice in them, but they’re like wearing pillows tied onto my feet! I guess my other shoes had been a little worn, but these are a whole new world. After the first run I went on, I thought, I gotta find a race in the spring! A short run in new shoes and I’m already looking for a race? I must be crazy.

I realized that it doesn’t take much to get a little motivation going.

I’ve never been one to really understand expensive and trendy-looking workout gear. Yes, I understand if it helps the function, i.e. bras that fit well, shorts that don’t chafe, socks that don’t cause blisters, etc. But when the exercise clothes are expensive just because they look cute? That annoys me. I didn’t understand why people would spend the money. However, the busier I get and the harder it is to carve out the time to run (or work out at all), the more I realize there is value in finding the motivation in creative places. For me, being excited about the workout gear makes me excited to use it. New fun leggings? I need an excuse to wear them! Comfy and supportive new shoes? I better go break them in!

Naturally, I’ve had the shoes two days, and I ran at least a little while both days. It’s rainy today, and I’m not ready to get these brand new babies wet just yet, but my enthusiasm hasn’t been dampened yet! (Get it? I got the jokes!)

Now for a question for you: I’ve been considering doing “the runner thing” and finding a bracelet that will keep track of my mileage covered, calories burned, etc. Right now, I’m just running with my iPhone in an arm band (or the stroller pocket, if I’ve got it). Music is a nice perk, but not totally necessary. Does anyone have one they suggest? I’d like to be able to link it up with my phone/computer to import workout details so I can keep track. Mostly because I’m nerdy and I like looking back at it. It sounds like (from talking to a few people) that there aren’t many options for one that keeps track of your mileage when your phone isn’t also on your person. So that’s my main desire. (Also, I don’t want to spend a million dollars!)

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! I’m glad to bring you a long list of hilarities, courtesy of the children! I literally can’t make this stuff up, y’all. Enjoy!

First time with his legs falling asleep…
J: Help me! My legs aren’t working! They’re not working a lot!

EK to Hubby: Daddy, tonight, can you take me on a special date, just you and me?
Hubby: You know what? Sure. I’ll take you out for dessert.
EK: Can we go have gelato?!
Hubby: Sure!
J, running in from the other room: TONIGHT! Can Mommy take me to have ice cream?! And that big girl (aka adult) who gives us gelato can give it to us?!
Me: *dying*

EK had just been out for ice cream with her daddy.
J: You say, “How was your special date?”
EK: No, you say it to me.
J: Oh. How was your special date?
EK: Great!

How the kids know we aren’t fancy: They ask for a towel instead of a napkin. A paper towel, of course.

Hubby: How was your nap?
EK: I didn’t go to sleep.
Me: Really?
EK: I just read a book.
Me: For three hours? (She can’t really read yet.)
EK: Yeah, I had to stay in my room till nap time was over.
Me: Um…

J, the first thing he said when he woke up: I love you and you’re awesome, EK.

 

EK to our waitress after we’d ordered: And also, excuse me, did you know that I’m the big sister who is four and that’s my brother who is three and my brother who is one and may I have my water in an adult cup?
Waitress: *pause* Since you’re the big sister, you can have water in an adult cup if your parents are okay with it.
EK: Okay. And for the brothers, they need cups with lids.
Me: *dying*

Bedtime stall of the week…
J: Wait! I forgot my nightstand water!

A breakfast song by J: This is the way we eat eat eat, eat eat eat, eat eat eat. This is the way we eat eat eat, before we go to play.

Misnomers of the week:
Stomach=stomachache, i.e.: My stomachache is getting hungry!
Potato=batato, i.e.: the food, Mr. Batato Head, etc.

What are your kiddos talking about this week?

faith, home, mommyhood, random thoughts

Currently: Loving the Psalms

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Hey Monday! It’s time to get back in the swing of things, without the snow this time. I’m happy to have a regular currently, and a little Psalms update as well.


Watching || the LOTR trilogy! Extended versions, of course. Now that I’ve read the series, I am excited to watch them again from a more educated point of view. And Hubby’s a huge nerd (and that’s why I love you, babe!) so he was all in when I presented the idea. We’re almost done with the Fellowship of the Ring, hopefully finishing tonight.

Enjoying || Hubby’s presence at home at night. He was SO BUSY the month of December that I got accustomed to him being gone in the evenings more than he was home. We’ve had a blessed two weeks of him being home at night, and are now gearing up for him to get busy again. Busy means work, so that’s a plus!

Thankful || for our community group. There are six couples (and several children) that have been meeting together for over a year, and we’ve added a seventh, and these people are so fun and wonderful. We took a break for Christmas and New Year’s, so last night was our first meeting in a while. We’re starting a study on Tim Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage” and I’m totally stoked. It was great to be with each other, to break bread together, to fellowship, and to get our study started. I have missed those people!

Excited || that Grimm has started back! It’s a spring season show, and so we’ve been waiting since last May for its return. I think it’s the last season (BOOHOO) but maybe that means it’ll hit Netflix when it’s done and we can watch it all the time! It started out a little rocky, but we were hooked, and it’s gotten SO much better!

And also, here’s a Psalms update. Because I feel like the blogosphere is my accountability.

That isn’t actually true.

But what IS true is that I’ve studied a Psalm every day, at least for a few minutes. I’ve used my Verses app every day at least once. I now know Psalm 23 (which I decided was an easy place to start) completely by heart. Stop me and ask me! (And actually, I’d love it if you joined me in studying the psalms; I need some people to talk it through with! Let me know if you’re interested!)

I don’t often set “goals” but I do try to point my heart in a certain direction. And though it’s been less than a week since I feel like I truly felt led to begin a journey in the psalms, I’ve been doing it.

And no, I haven’t given up on my “reading for pleasure” resolution, either.

One cannot replace the other. They satisfy, in themselves, two separate parts of me. While they both could be considered “disciplines”, one is more of a spiritual discipline, and the other is no longer a discipline because I enjoy it. I’m not reading for anyone’s else’s satisfaction but my own. I don’t need to learn the characters’ motives or be able to write about the author’s purpose. I just get to enjoy the story. I finished up my Tolkien books (in case somehow you missed it, I had been slowly plugging away at the LOTR series) and have begun The Golden Compass. I probably should’ve read a “fluffy” book in between these two series, but, too late! I’m in too deep to jump out now. I might stop for a rom-com breather after the first book.

Well, there’s a January update for ya, and I can’t believe we’re over halfway through with this month. What are you up to currently?

 

faith, home, random thoughts

It isn’t really spring.

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I was teased today by the coming of spring. It isn’t remotely spring yet, being as it’s only halfway through January. It isn’t time for brunching in the sun, or enjoy the porch in a tank top, both of which I did today. I enjoyed sun bright enough to hurt my eyes, feeling quite hot in a long sleeves and leggings, and thinking of the days ahead with pretty flowers and green leaves.

But it isn’t spring.

It’s merely a taste of what’s to come. A foreshadowing. I must remember that we went sledding earlier this week. We played in SNOW in the same week as this perfect sunny day. So instead of pack away my sweaters, I’m going to take in the vitamin D, enjoy the warm sun on my skin, and prepare for another few weeks of long, hard winter.

You know what? I want another snow this year – really I do. I love playing in it with the kids, and seeing them enjoy something they rarely see. (Here in central NC we only get one or two good snows in a year.) I love the crisp whiteness, the huge, fluffy flakes as they fall, and the silent blanket over our home and yard. But the bitter cold without any snow is just… lame.

I’ll take this cheating little spring day as a reminder that winter doesn’t last forever. I’ll take it as a token that we are headed in the direction I want to go. The days are already getting longer, the solstice behind us. The sun lingers longer than it did just a few short weeks ago. But the cold is not over. The wind and snow will likely visit us again. And I’ll be prepared to enjoy it. I’ve got one perfect, sunny day, a reminder that winter and darkness and lack of sun aren’t the way life always is. Life will have a spring. Every year. Exactly when we need it.

mommyhood

Praying into the Psalms

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It just so happens that I don’t really like resolutions. I’m not a great goal-setter, and I never have been. I’ve done it, hundreds of times, but usually, short-term goals are my most successful, and I have to have someone else’s input in selecting them, because I truly am that bad at it. Something that will push you, but something within your reach. Something that’s measurable, but something that’s important to you. LOSE FIVE POUNDS! OKAY, FINE!

So naturally, this January, I didn’t put much thought at all into a resolution. For the last two years, I’ve chosen a word to try to embody. It’s not a goal or a resolution, and that’s why I liked it. I’ve had “embrace (it)” and “pray (first)”. In both cases, I inadvertently abandoned the words. I kept them in my mind and heart for a few months, and yes, I kept praying last year, but I didn’t focus on those two words in any certain way after the first few months of the year.

This year, I didn’t think of anything. I didn’t search the depths of my brain for a word I liked well enough to hang on to it as a “theme” for a while. I’m busy, I thought. I don’t need to add another ridiculous thing to do to my regimen. I’m exhausted. My mind is full of the three tiny children who need me that I frequently have very little left for my own self-care. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just the season that I’m in.

But I happened to be reading a post from one of the bloggers I follow, Sarah E. Frazer, about how she was dealing with some anxiety at night, and she began to go through the Psalms she knew by heart in the middle of the night to help her calm down and sleep. That resonated with me immediately, because there are definitely nights where I have those issues. So I started doing it. When I can’t sleep, or when I wake in the middle of the night with my brain totally spinning, I go over and over the Psalms that I know in my head. It’s a sorry few, but still enough that I can meditate on them, and it calms my mind, and I sleep more quickly. (I began on Psalm 23, because it was the first one to come to mind.)

After that positive experience, I received from my worship pastor a challenge to make everything we said from the microphone (transitions, prayers, etc) to be Scripture. It just so happens that many songs (and therefore transitions) are based on Psalms. So, second point to God for making me think harder about those Psalms. My pastor also had a suggestion of an app that helps you memorize Scripture (bonus points, Dylan!) so I immediately downloaded it, and I already love it.

So now, I’ve had nudges from all sides suggesting that get to work on the Psalms. So now, I’m going through them (in random order, I admit), underlining, taking notes, praying over them, praying the words, thinking of them in the night, and it’s only been a couple of weeks since this all came to me. I know that it likely won’t take me a year, but I’m hoping to really be able to stick with it. It might help that it’s permeating several areas of my life. That’s the way to really accomplish something – choose a thing that will benefit more than one area of your life!


But in all seriousness… I truly believe that this is a direction into which the Lord is leading me. I’m excited to see what He has for me, hidden in his plentiful and  Psalms, that I will discover as I study and pray.

mommyhood

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, all! Glad to bring you a few funnies! EK has been spending a lot of time with her grandmother – since her grandfather has been out of town this week, she’s been good company, so I have less funnies from her, but she’s been fulfilling her familial duties! Enjoy the humor I do have, and hopefully I’ll have some more next week!

EK to Hubby: I love you as much as Jesus loves you!
Hubby: I try to love like Jesus does, babe.

Me: How was your day, bud?
J: Great, my darling poop!
Me: *giant eyeroll*

EK, holding the note I put in her lunchbox: Did you make this for me?!
Me: I sure did!
EK: Well, that is just the sweetest!

EK: Let’s go home and have hot chocolate! Except the baby can’t have it cause it’s too hot.
J: What if we could put an ice cube in it?
EK: That’s a great ideer, J!
A minute later…
EK: Ice is twenty thick, mom.
Cue the rabbit trails.

J, after he turned a toy onto the Spanish mode: Fantastico! Fantastico!

As our friends pulled out of the driveway…
J: I already miss our family.

J to our friend with a week-old baby: Did you put your baby back in your belly? Let me check if you did.

At zero dark thirty, J stumbles into my bed, crying and wailing: I want my mittens! I can’t find them! Give me my mittens!
I go downstairs to find out he has indeed been searching for mittens in the middle of the night.

Getting up from their naps…
J: *yawn* Good to see you, EK.

EK singing the second verse of Away in a Manger: The kwattle are lowing, the baby awakes…. and stay by my cradle till morning last night.

J has been throwing mini-tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants. They’re short, but quite intense, flinging himself to the ground and kicking his legs, etc. Some things he tantrums about: candy canes, snow, mittens, boots, brothers, moms, jelly beans, gummy vitamins, shopping carts, naps, you get the idea. Then today (yep, toddler Tuesday) he threw the biggest tantrum I’ve ever seen. It lasted 30+ minutes, began in the grocery store check out line (where all the employees know us and see us several times a week) and finally calmed down as we pulled into the driveway. His grandmother drug him out kicking and screaming to the car so that I could pay for the groceries. Y’all, it was ugly. More on that later.

Hope you’ve enjoyed your Tuesday! I’ll just be over here, wishing we weren’t out of school again tomorrow. Yikes!

faith, mommyhood, pregnancy, siblings, women

A Letter to My Third Child 

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This is a post I wrote a few weeks before D was born. It was up on Mom Babble for a while, and I only just remembered I hadn’t ever published it here. It’s such a sweet memory for me, especially now that he’s 16 months old, running around, beginning to talk, and generally being more self-sufficient than my other two were at this point in their lives. It’s sweet to think of the anticipation I was feeling when he wasn’t quite here yet. I hope you enjoy it.

My sweet little D,

I’m getting really excited for you to get here. There are just nine weeks left until you’re due to arrive, and I already wish I could just see you next week. Mostly, I’m excited to meet you, see what you look like, and introduce you to your crazy siblings. Also I’m getting uncomfortable, peeing all the time, and sleeping less than ever. But mostly I want to meet you.

I know you’ve been in my womb, hearing the squeals and shouts and cries and songs of your family. We may be a loud bunch, but we’re a good one, too. We love big, and we show it often. When you get out here, you’re going to feel the love from all the kisses and hugs you get from all of us. You might also get a love tap or seven from J, but it’s just because he can’t wait for you to be big enough to wrestle him. EK will probably want to choose your outfits and give you bottles and push you in the stroller. I promise to help you look like the boy that you are instead of a princess, and only let her push you fast once you can handle it.

You gave us a scare, when you were just the size of a lime. I took some tests that made us think you weren’t healthy, that you might not make it. Well, you sure showed us! We should have had faith in you and in God, and known that you would be fine. But we had a couple of hard, sad weeks, praying for your safety. You were loved, prayed for, and longed for, even then. We can’t describe how much more you are right now, and how much more you will be once you’re in our arms.

I am sure you will be every bit as amazing as your dad and your siblings. Strong, smart, handsome, musical, hilarious, snuggly, and compassionate… those are things you’ve got going for you. I know it must seem like a tall order to such a little dude, but you’ve got a little while to grow into it.

I hope you don’t mind sharing all those things (and all the other things ever) with your siblings. You’ve got quite a bit of third-hand clothing and toys, in various stages of worn-in. But you know what? There is one thing that you get brand new, just for you, that you never have to share with anyone:

My love.

You see, I have a lot of love. There is plenty to go around. I’ve got a special love for your Dad, that only he knows about. I’ve got a love for EK that’s just for her, shared between this Mommy and her daughter. I’ve got a love for J that will also be different than my love for you; he is a special guy. The love that I have for you will be a special thing that you and I will share. The love I have for exactly you will be special between us, and it will never run out or grow weary. I get all my love from the most inexhaustible source imaginable; I get all my love from Jesus. One day, you will know Him too. You can already have His love – everyone has it. He loves us all with a big, awesome love that we can hardly understand.

Always remember: you’re brave, smart and kind, you can do anything you set your mind to, and I will always love you.

Love,
Mama

books, faith, home, mommyhood

Currently – The New Year’s Edition!

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I can’t believe it’s 2017! We are here already, friends, and this year is waiting for no one. After a year of what many are calling “bad luck” (or something worse), I’m ready for a fresh start… and that means the first Currently update of the year! Since it’s the first of the month as well, I’m linking up with Anne In Residence, and Jessica at An Immeasurable Joy. Here’s what I’m currently up to!

Gathering || storage devices and ideas. Every January, I’m overwhelmed at the stuff we accumulated at Christmas. Most of it was either needed (new clothes, for instance), or really wonderful things my kids are loving playing with (this year, it’s dress up clothes). But just making sure that the kids are able to (help) put it away, or that I’m able to keep it organized so I don’t lose my mind when someone asks, “Where is this item?” is imperative for their playtime and my sanity. I’m always looking for hacks on this topic, so fire away if you’ve got some!

Making || a routine and a schedule. I used to love planners when I was a student, but I let them fall by the wayside after college… and my first iPhone. However, EK picked one out for me for Christmas (it happens to be a Lilly one, yay!) and now I’m really excited about using it! I’m going to splurge on a set of nice colored pens, and get to scheduling!

Sipping || Hot, spiced apple cider with a splash of bourbon. It’s been my recent drink of choice, because I love warm drinks in the cold. My friend Mary Catherine introduced me to the phenomenon, and I can’t stop. The spiced cider at Trader Joe’s is yummy (and comes in a huge jug) but I’ve also been happy with the smaller jars I’ve found at Lowe’s Foods.

Resolving || to read more (for pleasure) in 2017, as well as get deeper into the Scriptures. I’ve long been making excuses about why I don’t have time to do these two things (small kids, mostly) but it’s time for me to plan in some quiet moments for both. I’ve always loved reading (I wrote a little about this resolution here) so I’m excited to add that in. And spending more time in the Word is something I always say I’m going to do, but the seasons of actually doing it ebb and flow for me. I have weeks where I am great about it, and weeks where I am not. So I’m praying that this year, I will be able to find a routine in which I can keep up with both.

mommyhood

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! Hope you’re enjoying 2017 so far! Here are just a few highlights from the past week in the lives (and mispronunciations) of my kiddos… enjoy!

EK, 100x a day: J! You’re unnerrupting!

Going through the line at McDonald’s…
EK and J: Almond Donald’s had a farm! E I E I O! And on that farm he had a poop! E I E I O! With a poop poop here, and a poop poop there! Here a poop, there a poop! Every where where where where where!
Hubby and me: *silently dying of laughter*

Watching The Sound of Music, when Maria is conversing with the Reverend Mother…
J: What’s this part?
EK: Maria’s just talking to her grandma.

EK: Can you plug the tree lights in?
Me: Why don’t you do it?
EK: It’s too hard.
J: I’ll do it!
EK: Well, I got it started for you!

Me: Ahh! He almost spilled my wine!
EK: Well its right there if you need it.

Mid-argument, EK to J: Do you think I do not have eyes?!

J, in a high-pitched voice: May I pwease have a tiny, little bit of candy from my stocking, pwease? (He’s been working on his vocal inflection, specifically when asking a question.)

EK, holding a bouquet of flowers: Daddy, can you water these up?

J: *drops a piece of bread into his soup* Look! It turned into chicken!

At bedtime…
Hubby: All right, good night, J.
J: Daddy, wait!
Hubby: What’s up?
J: Happy new year, Daddy.

Hubby: How’s that bread EK?
EK: Well, I don’t like the taste of it. (Said in a way that implied nothing else was wrong with it.)

At the doctor’s office for a check up, and our doctor was just telling us he was all finished…
J: Doctor? You’re the best doctor.
Doctor: *chokes up a little* You just made my year! How about I give you a few tokens to get a prize? How many do you think you’d like?
J: One. Or two, so I can share with EK.
Me: *dies*

Well, there you have it. Adorable and hilarious children. What have your kids been talking about recently? Any Christmas or New Year’s funnies?