Category Archives: mommyhood

mommyhood, siblings

Emotional, Evolving, Steadfast Motherhood

6 Comments

Mothers.

If you could have told me about the feels you have when you join their ranks, I wouldn’t have believed you.

I’ve always been a sensitive person. I’ve cried at silly things my whole life – and of course that hasn’t changed. Books, movies, heartfelt cards and sappy songs all make me cry a little and always have. But moments… they’re what make me tear up nowadays. Little moments, like when my daughter reaches out to hold my hand while we watch a show before bed. Or last night, when Hubby kissed me goodbye as he was leaving for work, my son turned in my lap to give me a smooch on the lips as well. I couldn’t have made that moment up. I cried right there on the spot.

These moments of motherhood are precious and fleeting. They feel numerous and few all at the same time. They can sometimes be trumped by moments of frustration or hurry or tiredness. They can be a little tiny thing that happens every day, and we don’t realize just how magical it is until it stops. Those moments of a milk-drunk newborn as you lay his limp body in the bassinet. The early giggles of an infant whose chubby cheeks jiggle with every laugh. The first few times your child forms the words “I love you.”

In my three short years of motherhood, I am amazed by what I am constantly learning, and doing, and already missing. I am beside myself with excitement over having a new baby in the house again in three months, but I still have a little sadness mingled with my pride when I think about how big my first two “babies” are now. I am thrilled by my children’s personalities and abilities. I am bursting with happiness when I’m simply watching them be themselves.

I am blessed by these kids. I am blessed by the opportunity to be their mom. I am terrified by the responsibility to raise them to be kind and compassionate, not to mention functioning members of society. I am scared to death for them to grow up and not need me anymore. My identity is wrapped up in them without being solely theirs. I am a mother. I’ve been a mother of babies. I am the mother of toddlers. I will be the mother of three. I will be the mother of teenagers, of college students, of adults. I will be a grandmother. Our situation is constantly changing, yet always steady. I am their mother. The mother of my children. The mother of my amazing, beautiful, silly, growing, changing, sometimes frustrating and always loved children.

427894_829986134153_1659442766_n
Elena Kathleen, at one day old.The little gal who made me a mama.
1421263_10100249647077233_1107151579_o
Joseph Stevens, at one day old, meeting his big sister.

 

mommyhood

I’m not ready yet!

2 Comments

Last night, it happened. Instead of wanting a snuggle and a song tonight, J just wanted to go to bed.

I wasn’t ready for this. He’s my baby! My little tiny boy, who loves snuggles and kisses and resting his head on mama’s chest while she sings!


Granted, he was totally pooped. We had had dinner at our friends’ house, where he also jumped on the trampoline and chased the dog all night. He was more exhausted than normal at bedtime. He even ran amok around the basement right up until the moment I scooped him up and went into his dark bedroom. When I leaned over the crib to get his swaddle, he just sort of lurched forward into the crib – to be honest, I almost lost my hold on him and dropped him in there for real. He just reached down in there, and so I said, “Do you want to just lay down?” and he answered in his little “yes” grunts.

Breaking a mama’s heart.

After I read and sang to EK (at least someone needs it!) I texted my friend Ginna (whose house we had been at), and told her about it. Her response? Yay for another little one on the way, and I will get snuggles for months. That’s a good friend with the perfect reminder! But still… here’s hoping that it was just a fluke, and he’ll still need some snuggles tonight. I’m not ready for my baby to be a big boy.

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Sorry for totally missing Tuesday… Cinco de Mayo got me off. Ha! Blame it on anything, right? Anyway, here’s a normal Things Toddlers Say on your Hump Day!

Also, I’ve been thinking… I would technically put EK into the “preschooler” category nowadays, since she’s three and all. I’m going to have to come up with a new branding for this series! I’m taking suggestions. (Note: I like alliteration.) Moving on…

Every once in a while, J puts up one hell of a fight against his car seat. I’m almost unable to get him in there when it’s just me. This particular one of those times, Hubby was helping from the front seat (aka pushing down J’s hips so I could wrestle the screaming, flailing kid). And then Hubby says, “Come on, Joseph! Put your arms in the fun straps!” I was basically worthless after that, dissolving into giggles.

After walking through her grandmother Annie’s garden one afternoon, EK brought me a flower.
Annie: Can you tell Mommy it’s a verbena?
EK: Here Mommy! It’s a banana!
Me: Thanks, sweetie! I thought bananas were yellow! (Verbena is white, FYI. I wouldn’t have known unless I was holding it.)

EK’s new, really sweet thing: I lub you.

J’s new favorite word (said whenever he sees a camera or a phone): CHEESE!!!!!!!

What’s your toddler saying?

mommyhood, my journey as a mother, pregnancy, siblings

My Journey as a Mother: Family Planning (or Lack Thereof)

7 Comments

I’ve been inspired the past couple of weeks to write about our family planning. Or lack thereof. There have been several articles I’ve read on the subject, about opinions on child spacing, and in the light of #mommitment I wanted to share my story (lest y’all think I’m crazy for having my three under three and a half).  

You see, when Hubby and I decided we were ready to start having children, we did what any couple’s first step is: I stopped taking the pill. This was January of 2011. We’d been married for a little over a year and a half, and we knew we wouldn’t immediately get pregnant, but we thought we’d see what happened.

What happened was a few months of “not not trying”, where we didn’t really plan out days or anything, but we knew we’d “pulled the goalie”. Then, after the few months of that, we started actually trying, planning days to try to conceive, and keeping track of every single thing – did you know there were APPS FOR THAT?! After a few months of that process and no baby, I’d spent way too much on pregnancy tests and not enough on newborn-sized onesies, so I tried a new approach. I started taking my basal resting temperature. That meant that right as I woke up, I would take my temperature before getting out of bed, record it, and wait for it to one day spike – ever so slightly-  which meant I’d be ovulating. Well, that day came, and so obviously we tried to conceive. Then the next morning, and the nine or ten after that, my temperature never went back down. I basically thought the system was busted. I can’t be ovulating every day. Well, I wasn’t. Because I was pregnant.

When EK was born 10 months later, I was nursing, and while I know that nursing isn’t birth control, I didn’t go back on any sort of birth control when she was born. Hubby and I figured the Lord had a plan, and we were good with whatever it was. My cycle didn’t come back until four months post-partum, and I breastfed until six months. We weren’t trying to get pregnant, but we obviously weren’t preventing it, either.

In March of the next year, when EK was 11 months old, I found out I was pregnant again. We were thrilled, and couldn’t wait to start telling our families, but before we even got to that point, I was cramping and bleeding, and ended up miscarrying at 7 weeks. I was told that I would start my cycle back in 4-12  weeks (Really? What sort of help is that?!) and not to try to get pregnant again until then. I guess they were basically telling me not to rush back into it, and let my body get back to normal. Well, I was obviously emotionally wrecked and not really in a hurry, at least until my body did what it needed to do. A couple of months later, I was out with some girlfriends, who asked me about it. I started counting the weeks, and realized I was at 13. They hadn’t said it would be any longer than 12 weeks (although, how accurate is it, truly?) so just for good measure, I went home and took a test. Positive! Boom.

This time, I had no inkling how far along I was… I’d had to period to reference my ovulation and conception. It wasn’t until my ultrasound at TEN AND A HALF WEEKS that I’d have the baby before the year was out. How’s that for a crazy few months, and an enormous blessing at the end of them?!

After J was born at the end of that year (2013), I nursed him for eight wonderful months, and when he weaned himself, my cycle started back. I had exactly two periods, and found out I was pregnant again. And here I am! 27 weeks with my third little miracle.

Now, did I plan it out this way? No. Did I try to plan differently? No. Am I aware how blessed I am to be fertile and healthy and blessed with three children in four years? Absolutely. I know everyone is not this way – and especially on timing, wouldn’t necessarily want to be this way. Are we often a bit of a madhouse around here? Yes. Do I expect it to get much better? Not for a while. But do I love my little tinies, how close they are together, and how happy they make me? 100%.

I do get some comments and looks at the grocery store when people see me with my littles, and obviously another on the way. “You sure had them close together!” and “You know what causes that, right?” are things I hear a lot. Yes, they are obviously close together, thankyouverymuch. Yes, I CLEARLY know what causes that. I’m a grown woman, amIright? So while I didn’t try to ensure my kids would be mistaken for Irish twins, or likely straight up triplets when they hit high school or so, I wasn’t against having them all in diapers at the same time, or all in college at the same time. I’ll survive. And they will thrive.

health and fitness, home, mommyhood, random thoughts

Currently

8 Comments

Happy Monday! I’m linking up as usual with Becky at Choose Happy and the other great bloggers for this week’s Currently. I’m also joining Jenna and Anne for their monthly currently link up.We love getting to know new people, and hearing what’s going on in your life. Link up and join us!

  
Organizing || Our whole house, but a few projects in particular. I just finished organizing EK’s art supplies – which she has a lot of for a three-year-old. She’s quite the little artist!



We also just (partially at least) set up the still-temporary guest bedroom for my mom, who came and stayed with us this weekend. The guest bedroom has officially been four different rooms in our house. Sheesh.

As you can see by the art pile in the corner, it’s not finished… ha!

Craving || venti iced chai lattes from Starbucks (with four pumps instead of six). Now you know what my current craving AND current Starbucks order is! The weather is warm, I’m on a limited caffeine intake plan (because pregnant) and so I’m relying on these babies to get me through. And I can’t handle quite as much sweetness as they come normally, so I basically get a grande amount of syrup in a venti sized drink. Most of the baristas charge me accordingly, which is lovely of them!


This picture brings me to my next point…

Wearing || this gorgeous nail polish! It may be the only thing you see on my nails all summer. I grabbed it at the drugstore totally randomly because I love that super bright coral, and it’s Nicole by OPI so I knew it would be a good polish. Anyone else have the perfect summer color?

Working on || my fitness. I haven’t been doing a great job, y’all. Confession time: every time I get a compliment on how I look good pregnant, I’m reminded how it must be leftover from my running routine I had going before I got pregnant. I do yoga every week, once or twice, which is great, but the weather really killed me. When it was cold, I totally holed up at home and didn’t do anything. A-ny-thin-gah. Basically I let my formerly toned self turn into a slob. My eating habits have stayed alright, but I’m letting myself indulge a little more than usual. (I’m pregnant, right?!) So by telling you that I’m working on my fitness, I’ve had a couple of good days here, and my plan is to keep it up. Now that the weather is much more cooperative, I’ll at least be walking more often.

My preferred workout view… outside with my Kindle.
Reading || The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton. I know y’all think I totally forgot about that whole reading challenge I started. Well, I didn’t. I just have been busy/crazy/lazy/tired. Yeah, those are all excuses, but it’s just my life right now. Anyway, I just started this book today, and I’m hoping to stick with it. In fact, when I’m done writing this post, it’s next on my to-do list.  It’ll fulfill the “classic romance” category of the challenge. I’ve read so many classic romances (Pride & Prejudice, anyone? I’ve read it 14 or so times.) that I wanted a “classic” one that was slightly less popular. So Edith Wharton it was.

Naming || our baby! I think I’ve told tons of y’all because you’ve asked me, but I haven’t really officially posted it up. So anyway, baby boy #2’s name will be Davis Ryan Hsu! I personally love it (obviously- that’s why I chose it) and I think it’s a lovely name. Davis we chose simply because we like it, and Ryan is Hubby’s name, of course. So there ya go – sweet little Davis will be making his debut sometime near late July.

Well that’s all about me for now!! What’s going on with you?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails

Parenting is a tough gig.

2 Comments

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

Some days, parenting can be tiring, lonely, annoying, or just plain hard. Yes, it can rewarding, beautiful, hilarious, and heartwarming, too. But some days, it’s just a tough gig.

 There are endless bottles to make, diapers to change, naps to protect, blankets to find (or wash), stuffed animals to love on, toys to pick up, laundry to do, tiny shirts to fold, and matching shoes to locate when you’re trying to leave the house. There are moments of sheer exhaustion hearing the 28,562nd question from your toddler, or waking up the fourth time in the same night with your infant whose sleeping has regressed. There are moments of, “I’m totally fed up!” when your little nurser just won’t take a bottle from her Daddy, or when your toddler’s twelfth tantrum of the day just pushed you over the edge. There are times that you pack up and go to the grocery store when you don’t need anything, because you might run into an adult you know, and be able to speak in complete sentences without being interrupted.

I know there are days (like today, in fact) that I want to lock my kids in their room, turn on some loud music, drown myself in ice cream, and have a few minutes that I’m not hearing them bicker over toys, or cry because they’re tired but won’t nap. Do I do that? No. But that doesn’t mean the thought never crossed my mind. I also know that when they’re in middle school, or when they’re teenagers, I’ll have days like that for different reasons. Forgotten homework, squabbles with friends, discipline problems at school, attitude problems and messy bedrooms could all be contenders in the race to make a mama crazy. I’m under no illusion that once all my kids are wearing underwear instead of diapers and going to school till 3:00 pm, my “problems” are over.

But I also know that I love my kids well. They know I love them, that I’m there for them, that I’ll dry their tears, kiss their boo-boos and sing them a song (that I made up, about a car driving by, at the request of my daughter). They are secure in that, even on my bad days, when I just want to plop them in front of the tv, and zone out. Or when we have cereal for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. We survive those days, the kids and I, and I dare say we aren’t any worse off for it. Because hey, being a parent is no joke.

holidays, mommyhood, women

6 Things She’d REALLY Like for Mother’s Day

4 Comments

Because Mother’s Day is next weekend, and you need to start dropping hints NOW, I decided to post this a week in advance. As a mama, I think I’ve got a lead on the whole mother’s day gifting thing. Jewelry is always nice, and so are coffee mugs with sweet little sayings on them. But here are some things that I think would be a real hit with any mom, less expensive than diamonds, and a little better received than her 14th coffee mug.

If you do happen to think this mug would pair nicely with any of the suggestions below – you know, if the mama has a sense of humor – you can find it on amazon.com!

1. House Cleaning Service. It would be lovely for the mother in your life to not have to clean her toilets or mop the floors for a little while. She’d love it if you hired someone to do it for her for a change!

2. Date Night with her Significant Other. I bet she’d love to be wined and dined and out on the town for a little while, kid-free, in a cute top and dangly earrings. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive joint in town, as long as it also isn’t a Chili’s.Not hating on Chili’s, but not on date night, folks. Not on date night.

3. Coffee. To put in last year’s mug, of course! Whether it’s a gift card to the local coffee shop or a bag of her favorite expensively-roasted beans, this little caffeinated treat will ensure the safety and sanity of all involved. If she’s a coffee connoisseur, consider a French press or a nice bean grinder to feed her addiction.

4. Massage, Facial, or Mani/Pedi. One of the biggest perks of spa-type gifts is alone time. No kiddos at your massage, am I right? I think any spa-type gift is a relaxing and thoughtful one, and the better you know the mama, the better you’ll be at choosing which kind to get. If you don’t know her too well (maybe it’s your new mother-in-law) you could get a gift certificate to the location, instead of the service.

5. Wine.  A newly-encountered bottle of foreign wine to pair with the next meal of her choice, or a nice bottle of her favorite to enjoy while bathing the kids then watching Netflix, wine can be a much appreciated gift! Better still, a night out with the girls at a local wine bar could be the thing that keeps your favorite mother sane. The mama you’re thinking of isn’t a wine drinker? Get her a fresh bottle or six-pack of her favorite libation and she’ll thank you just the same.

6. Movies. This doesn’t necessarily mean take her to the movies. That can be a super expensive evening if you’ve got to hire a babysitter, go out to dinner beforehand, and get some snacks and two $15 tickets. Since that’s typically the deal with an at-the-movies date, she might just be willing to settle for watching that flick she missed in the theatre snuggled up with you on the couch with a glass of wine. Bonus points if you cooked her dinner and put the kids to bed. After all – quality time is the goal.

Whatever you decide to get the lady who bore the children, make sure you have her mind when you get it. Pair it with a card with something you wrote inside it, and she’ll swoon. Show some love, add a few hugs and kisses, and it’ll be perfect.

home, mommyhood, siblings

We Work Better Together.

Leave a comment

I don’t have a label for how my family works. Hubby and I both work part-time, flexible hours, and are both home a lot with our kids. We have a lot of family time – more than most families are able to pull off with work schedules, school schedules, etc. Since we’ve only got one in preschool twice a week, and the other is home all day, we have a lot of time that the four of us are hanging out together. Hubby and I truly are great at being each other’s advocate, staying away from the good cop/bad cop game, and not becoming the “default” parent.

We work better together.

Sometimes, our schedules lend themselves to passing the kids back and forth, and hardly seeing each other. Those are the rare, busiest days or weeks. I can see the kids (and myself) suffer. I’m not as great a cook as he is (my daughter says, “You’re a good cooker-man, Daddy!”), so when they’re with me, they get a great breakfast, okay lunch, and whatever I can find (or, let’s be honest, pick up) for dinner. When they’re with Hubby, or when we’re all together, we have well thought out, home-cooked, delicious meals. I like to be out of the house a lot, so when I’m there, we go to parks, play dates, running errands, and little trips to do other things. Hubby is a little more of a homebody, so they don’t really go anywhere if I’m gone.

The kids also get more one-on-one time with us, because sometimes if I go out, I just take one of the kids. It’s a little easier logistically (a little less buckle-unbuckle-buckle-unbuckle, am I right?) and I get special time that they aren’t pulling each other’s hair, or trying to play with the same toy. They get our undivided attention, feel our love for them as they are, not them as a group. And we are lucky to be able to love them so singularly so often.

So although my family isn’t in an easily-labeled umbrella of parenting style, I think we have our best possible situation going on. Our kids get equal parts mom and dad. As mom and dad, we get equal parts  of our kids. We share responsibilities at home, like laundry, cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping. We share time off, time alone, and time at work. We share preschool drop-off, doctor’s appointments, bedtime routines, and afternoon naps when we aren’t feeling so hot (addendum: if we’re pregnant).

Am I suggesting that you all go quit your jobs, pick up part-time ones, and try to do what we’re doing? Absolutely not. I know for some people, they’d go crazy in the different-every-day schedule, and the whaddya-mean-dad-does-the-cooking? situation. But I am saying that teamwork makes it better for us. Working together is what we like to do, it’s what’s best for our kids, and what’s best for us as parents and as a married couple. We can both put our best foot forward, take a break when we’re burned out, and never worry about whether we can remember when naps are and whether or not we cleaned all the sippy cups. Being equally yoked and collaborative partners in our lifestyle brings out the best in us, and in our kids. Is there anything better than that?

mommyhood, parenting fails

No Pull-Ups During Naps: Parenting Fail #397

14 Comments

Today, my daughter took a nap. Unremarkable, right? She took a nap. No big deal. But let me back up.

We’re in the throes of potty training. EK’s wearing big girl panties about half the time, and a pull-up or diaper the other half. She’s not sleeping in underwear yet, of course, so for today’s nap, Daddy didn’t find any diapers in her room (you know, because she’s only wearing them half the time, and we’ve only just moved her down to her new room), and put her in a pull-up. Most of the time, this wouldn’t present a problem; it holds pee fairly well and we change her directly after her nap every time. But today, when she woke up and came upstairs, she had a massively gross pull-up, which had gotten on her pants a bit, so Daddy cleaned her up, and let her run pantsless while I went downstairs to retrieve the underwear. (And then he ran away to “help his dad with something.” Yeah right, Daddy. You must’ve known what was coming…)

When I got to her room, I noticed two things: 1. There were wipes all over her bed. 2. It smelled awful. These are two bad things, that when put together, are truly terrible. The massively dirty pull-up had also caused a problem in the bed, which EK had so graciously tried to clean up before she came upstairs. Mess. Was. Everywhere. Every single item on her bed needed to go straight into the washing machine on the “hot” cycle. Y’all, I am not kidding. My heart started beating faster as I tried to not smell anything.

I bundled the wipes up (including the ones spread all over a book, which is now soggy and half-ruined) and threw them in the trash can, and started stripping the bed. I carried several loads of pillows, sheets and the waterproof (thank God) mattress cover to the laundry room (thank God we have a laundry room now! Ahhh!) to start the process of cleaning up. I sprayed everything with stain remover, switched the laundry over (because of course, something was already in the washer AND in the dryer) and put in the first load. Y’all, how did it happen?!

I know how it happened.

My kids sleep like tornadoes. And when they finally do find a resting place for the majority of a sleeping session, it’s typically a strange one. For instance, EK likes to sprawl across all her pillows, instead of have her head on a pillow and her legs down. She sleeps up against the headboard of the bed 90% of the time. Hence poop on the pillows. (Sorry. You should’ve known there might be a gross detail or two.)

Back to the clean up… Now my pantsless daughter is upstairs, so I call her downstairs, just to get her side of the story.

Me: Did you get poop on the book?
EK: No.
Me: Did you get poop on the pillows that are on the floor?
EK: No.
Me: Did you sit down before you came upstairs?
EK: …..

And now I’m freaking out about the BRAND NEW CARPET.

Trying to keep my cool, I remember she’s still pantsless. I start to help her with her underwear, and notice she doesn’t seem to have been cleaned up well. Then, I notice there’s a little poop on the inside of her shirt. “Oh well,”  I think. “Daddy must not have noticed it.” So I take her shirt off, and now I see the poop on her back. I start to clean it off, and a thought pops in my head. “If Daddy didn’t know all this had happened down here, I’m sure he didn’t wipe her hands off. HE DIDN’T WIPE HER HANDS OFF!” And then, I start freaking out about how many things she’s touched since the initial accident, and where all the poop might be and how I’m going to find it/clean it off, and then I’m all, “Screw it. It’s bath time.” J just happens to be lurking around the corner, trying to decipher and smell and the ruckus, so I toss him in, too. Clean babies, right? Right. Babies who are never wearing pull-ups during naptime ever again.  

food, home, mommyhood, pregnancy, random thoughts

Currently

4 Comments

Life is good, y’all. I’m at the end of my 26th week, and feeling really well! I’m tired, but hey- what’s new? Just a little exhaustion on the side of my normal life doesn’t seem that unusual. I’ll hit the third trimester next week, so I guess that’s why.

I already miss the warmer weather – here in NC we’ve had a little regression, between the rain and some cooler temperatures coming back in… and I’m not excited about it. I was LOVING wearing shorts and flip flops. Bring it back!

Anyway, I’m a day late, but I’m linking up with Becky at Choose Happy for her Currently link party. Join us! I love finding new blogs and hearing what you’re up to!

currently button

Thankful for || a Hubby who let me sleep in this morning (yay!) and who is consistently the meal master at our house. He’s an amazing chef, who is creative and quick. What better two things could a chef be?! I also love that it typically means we have friends over a lot, to help us eat up the yums. It’s a win-win.

Baking || two batches of muffins on Sunday! One is technically a friend’s adaptation of an Against All Grain cupcake recipe, but because there’s no sugar and they’re gluten free, I’m calling them muffins and eating them for breakfast. The other batch was from Not So Desperate Housewife: Apple Pie Muffins. Let me tell you – also extremely delicious! The kids have been eating them up, too, which for me is a huge win.


Feeling || exhausted. I guess it’s pregnancy and two little crazies combined with a fierce desire to not be lazy and to still do all the things I like to do… which sometimes means I’m running around town all day and staying up late at night… aka not getting quite enough rest. Even if I’m not napping, I need to let myself have rests, and I’m not great at it. Here’s a little selfie of the big bump so you can see why I’m tiring a little more easily…


Needing || to slow down and chill out. This is piggybacking on my feelings… I’m also a little short-tempered right now, and every time I notice it, I hate it! But there are times that my mouth speaks before I’m able to stop it, or I let my feelings get the best of me. I know that stress is a little bit of it, going stir crazy on the days we’re mostly at home is a little bit of it, and I’m totally gonna blame a little bit on hormones. But I need to chill out – I know this. Doing it is just harder than admitting I need to do it.

Can’t believe || that my daughter is 3! We went yesterday for her 3 year check up, and she’s 30lbs, a little over 37 inches tall, and has only had one sick visit to the doctor in her life. I’m thankful she’s healthy, smart, and awesome, and if we could just get her potty trained, we’d be feeling 1000x better. I know… kids eventually potty train. But let’s be honest. If I’ve gotta buy diapers for three kids in July instead of just two, I may cry a little.


Well there’s my update! What’s going on with you currently?