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mommyhood, random thoughts

In Case You Think We’ve Got It Together…

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Disclaimer: attitude and honesty are sure to follow.

I don’t have it all together. No one does. But I’m one of those moms. One of those moms that wishes to be optimistic, to focus on the positive, the highlights of my day. On my Instagram, I’m in the middle (well, almost three-quarters) of my “100 Happy Days”. Because I wanted to be able to click my hashtag and see only my pictures, I dubbed my project #shinyhappy100. I felt a couple months back that I was getting a prophetic word to “shine”. I didn’t know what that looked like, but I took it in stride and did my best to do it, to share it, and to help my family and friends shine as well.

That doesn’t mean that every moment of every day is perfect. I love organization, but just like anyone else, sometimes the mess consumes the house, and I have to succumb to it, go to sleep, and fix it tomorrow (or the next day). I love when my babies nap at their regularly scheduled time, dinner is a delicious feast at the right time, and baths and bedtimes are spot on. But let’s be honest; that shit rarely happens – am I right? Babies don’t nap if they don’t feel like it, dinner can be a peanut butter sandwich (because I’m out of jelly, of course) and we skip the bath to start bedtime early, but no one actually goes to sleep till after 9:00pm. Can I please get an amen, yet?! Sometimes it’s all I can do to not fall asleep in EK’s bed while I’m waiting to her to decide she’s finished playing with my hair and singing to herself… because you know if I leave before she’s finished she jumps right out of bed and follows me out of the room (cue the loud wailing as if being tortured when I put her back).

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. -John 16:33

I just don’t want to give in to negativity. I’m not trying to pretend I don’t have problems. I’m not trying to pretend I’m the happiest person on the planet with a perfect family and flawless friends and a fairytale ending. But I am trying to encourage. I’m trying to send good vibes. Yes, most of my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook feeds show cute pictures, Bible verses, hilarious things that have happened, and sweet things about my family. But would you really want to hear every time my kids pooped out of their diapers and I had a huge mess to clean up? Would you want to hear about every disagreement Hubby and I encounter? Would you care to hear the details of a particularly grueling day where I didn’t get to leave the house or even shower? I bet you wouldn’t. I bet you’d rather hear about cute stories and successes and triumphs, because they give you hope that positive and happy things happen, even on crappy days, even in the midst of strife or sadness. Why? Because he has overcome the world! There are so many things out there that can discourage you and get you don’t. If you’re looking for a place where women write about all the things they hate and complain about every little thing in their lives, this probably won’t be it. Yes, I’ll do my fair share of venting and ranting, I’m sure. I won’t sugarcoat or pretend things are great when they aren’t.

The kids enjoying some back porch kiddie pool time together
The kids enjoying some back porch kiddie pool time together

But I will absolutely be happy in little moments with my sweet family, and celebrate small blessings, because that’s what keeps us going. I am about encouraging and lifting up and praising and thanking the Lord for little pieces of His awesomeness. Chocolate-covered mouths in wide grins. Successful bedtimes followed by evenings spent watching tv snuggled in the basement with Hubby. Lunch out with the kids that didn’t end in a scream fest. I will celebrate these things! I will post pictures! I will even post the picture that I took right before the meltdown. I do these things because when I look back at the pictures, at the statuses and blog posts, do I want to remember that my children were crying, sloppy messes and I had a husband who never remembered anything I said? No. I will remember I had precious children who made mistakes but had even more redeeming qualities. I will remember a Hubby who loves me unconditionally, even when I am my worst self. I will remember that I was busy and crazy and stressed, but happy and blessed and loved.

What will you do? What will you focus on and remember?

mommyhood, random thoughts

Have We Frozen Children’s Movies?

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Hubby and I used to go to the movies a lot. I love seeing films on the big screen, right at the same time as everyone else is seeing them for the first time. However, let’s be honest: once you have a kid, that’s a REALLY expensive date night. Movie tickets aren’t cheap, and neither are babysitters. Once you tack on dinner before the movie or drinks after, you’ve spent a lot of money. So needless to say, since EK has been around (about 27 months), we’ve seen a total of less than 10 movies… maybe even closer to 5. That being said, we didn’t see Frozen until several months after it came out on DVD. I had heard all the hype, had students who were obsessed with the movie, characters, and soundtrack. Because I have loved Idina Menzel since “Rent”, I managed to hold off listening to the song until I watched it in the movie the first time. It’s a great song, she sings it SO WELL, and it was almost unbelievable how quickly my daughter heard the first notes of it, stared open mouthed at the tv, and begged for me to play it again as soon as it was over. I mean, seriously? She had never heard it, didn’t know that it was the song that everyone was supposed to love. It was just that great. I think someone tipped her off.

I have long been a fan of Disney. Nay, a obsessive lover of all things Disney. That about covers it. I love the movies, the shorts, the music, the characters, the voices, the animators, the world created for and devoted to Disney. The first movie I ever saw in a theater was Disney’s The Little Mermaid. The next movie I remember seeing in theaters was Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Every summer for as long as I can remember, my mom would take my brother and me to the newest Disney flick at least once, maybe twice in the theater, and we would get the VHS (yeah, I said it) for Christmas. Like clockwork… it was our tradition.

Now that I’m the mom, the “grown up”, I’m watching these animated features with a little more scrutiny. I still love them, oh yes, but I’m looking for more than a catchy tune and a happy ending. Pixar added incredible things to the latest movies, not the least of which were new ideas and 3-D animation. Whether or not the movies were complete musicals has gone in and out over time, as has using original stories versus tried and true tales. I will say one thing: every time I see a new one, I’m amazed at how the integrity of the movies I’ve loved since childhood has been upheld, in quality and in magic.

Two of my newest favorites are Frozen (I love it almost as much as my daughter) and Brave. On the heels of my #LikeaGirl rant (read it here), I love them for their heroines. Brave‘s Merida is the epitome of who I was as a preteen: outspoken, strong character, always right, forever at odds with her mother, and yes, a bit awkward. I relate to her immediately, as I’m sure thousands of girls did during their first viewing of the movie. My favorite thing about the storyline? Redemption of relationship and no romantic love interest in sight (quite the opposite, in fact). Brave is about Merida and her journey, so no man needed. Talk about empowering girls! Look at this gal, she might have made some mistakes, but she worked to make them right again, and here she is, a total rockstar. She even makes me want to grow out my hair, get a perm, and dye it red.

But Frozen? It’s totally confusing me. I mean, yes… empowering girls? That’s covered. Strong relationships with your girls? Covered. Anna sees that Elsa needs help. She goes out, gets the help, saves the day. But she find one love, realizes that’s a bust, and then finds a new one in what, a day? But back to the girls, in the end, Elsa saves Anna, too. But after she’s been totally unhinged, right? She has this magic power, can’t control it, freaks out, freezes her kingdom, almost kills her sister, and still is just barely hanging on to her sanity until she has a miraculous change at the end of the movie. She’s a powerful gal, sure, but that isn’t the power I want my little girl to aspire to. I want her to be like Anna… I think..? (Check out my friend Sydney’s thoughts on Frozen here)

Maybe I’m reading too much into it. I mean, I don’t remember having any thoughts about the movies past “I love that song “Part of Your World” and “Lumiere was really funny!” and “I can’t believe Pegasus acted like a bird the entire movie.” I never had a thought about Ariel disobeying her dad just to get with a guy, paying for it, and then having to have her dad bail her out anyway. Or how selfish Woody is in all those Toy Story movies, trying to selfishly keep Andy for himself. I just enjoyed them for what they’re worth… and they’re GREAT films. Truly. But some of the early movies, like Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, don’t really give the image of their heroines doing anything much at all mostly just cleaning, yet I can still safely say that Sleeping Beauty is one of my all-time favorites. How does that work out? Honestly I’m not sure. It just is.

Am I overthinking it? What do you think about the leading ladies of Frozen and Brave? 

random thoughts

Happy Fourth of July, ‘Merica!

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There’s nothing more American than family and friends, grilling burgers and hot dogs, drinking beer and playing games on the back deck. That’s exactly what we did today. And then after we had eaten our fill and were ready to cool off inside for a while, we all went over to my brother-in-law’s house to see my new nephew on his first day home from the hospital. It was indeed an incredible day spent enjoying the freedom that so many have fought and sacrificed to give us.

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My bestie Lauren hanging with EK
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My awesome, hair-twirling bro getting some snuggles with J.
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American dresses! My mom literally got EK’s at a Cracker Barrel. True story. Mine’s from J. Crew about 6 years ago.
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My awesome dad telling J how to be a cool dude!
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My mom can get that smile outta J every time!
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Hubby and buddy Drew throwing the football. I’ve never seen this before.
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Lauren and me, getting some face time with my nephew, Finley.
mommyhood, random thoughts

#LikeAGirl

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I guess deep down, I’ve always known I’m a feminist. I’m not talking about a bra-burning, anti-makeup, dresses like a guy, “butch” feminist. I’m a feminist by definition: the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of political, social, and economic equality to men. I had a mom who raised me to know that I could do anything. I had my own opinions, and I shared them. I didn’t have to play with dolls or read girly books, although I did those things. But I also went to Space Camp (yeah, call me a nerd, why don’t you?!), climbed trees, went hiking in the woods behind my house, and read about the Hardy Boys alongside my beloved Nancy Drew. I collected Hot Wheels and played with Legos, then turned right around and dressed up my brother in princess outfits. I’d say I’m a well-balanced human.

But this morning, up (way too) early nursing J, I was playing around on Facebook and saw this video that my dear friend Sydney (her amazing blog is here) had just reposted from Good Housekeeping (original article and video are here). She has a little girl a few months younger than EK, and she went to the same women’s college I did – she was my little sister in fact! *proud big sis moment* I teared up as I watched girls fall into gender roles, and boys perpetuate them, as the director asked them to demonstrate running (and throwing and hitting) “like a girl”. The initial responses were all the same – running as though you were in high heels, arms flung out to the side, tiny steps, hair tosses.

Finally, the youngest girls of all come out, and redefine everything. A girl in a frilly pink dress, who looks to be about first grade age, is asked, “What do you think it means to run like a girl?” and she responds “…run as fast as you can.” That’s it, folks. The moral of the story is do everything the best you can. Girls, young women, old women, ladies, gals, you are every bit as good as guys are, and oftentimes better.

My little girl will hear that every day. EK will grow up knowing that she can do anything and be anything she wants to. She will know her gender has no bearing on how good she will be at any activity. She can try anything she wants, she can form her own opinions and learn about any subject she is curious about. If that’s fairy tales and ballet, fabulous. If it’s muscle cars and rugby, I’ll be thrilled. I just want to raise her as a strong, confident girl. Anything she does, she’ll do it like a girl. Anything she does, she’ll do it with her own spin. Anything she does will be amazing and I’ll be a proud mama.

What are your thoughts about the #LikeAGirl campaign? Do you agree that we are on the cusp of breaking gender roles and empowering our girls?

mommyhood, random thoughts

Baby Swim Wear and Fun at the Lake

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So, Hubby’s parents have a lake house. They are the sweetest for sharing it with their three crazy sons and their families. As my toddler takes to water like a fish, she is especially grateful for a day at the lake here and there.  Hubby’s mom has been giving her swimming lessons at the pool, and she is f.e.a.r.l.e.s.s. She is actually getting the hang of the kicking and keeping her face out of the water. But she always wears her Puddle Jumpers (I mean, hey, she’s two). These things are lifesavers (pun intended?) because they are a lifebelt and “water wings” combined.  Also, they’re covered in a fabric similar to what all swim suits are made out of, instead of the blow-up, bare plastic, scratchy arm bands. There’s honestly no way she could get out of them, and that’s my favorite part. I don’t have to worry about her jumping off the tube or treading water without holding onto someone. She’s afloat in an actual life preserver (seriously- it’s a certified life preserver, can be used on the boat, etc).  Our Puddle Jumpers are from Costco, but they’re available at Amazon, Wal-Mart, Toys R Us, Target and more.

Look how happy she is!
Look how happy she is!

Speaking of useful things to have when swimming… that little bathing cap? Totally a Target find. It’s the Circo Infant/Toddler Floral Swim Cap, and it’s on clearance, so hurry! There’s a slightly different one that’s pink and not on clearance, but still with the little flowers attached.

I don’t have a picture (unfortunately) but J has some trunks and swim shirt from Carter’s that we LOVE. He also borrowed a straw fedora from a friend, and looked like a stud muffin.

Bottom line: Hubby and I have been blessed with water babies, and we are glad, because we love the water, too (and the sun, and the boat, and the water skis/wake board)! However, I hope I haven’t passed on my pasty white, easily sunburned skin; we’re of course greasing them up with Blue Lizard, but hopefully they won’t get sunburned just from walking to the mailbox like I did as a kid!

We’ve had two day trips to the lake so far this summer, one a couple of weeks ago, and one just yesterday. It’s only an hour away from home, so a day trip is easier than an overnight trip for us right now. Both times, we had some trouble with naps. When we’re at home, EK takes one big afternoon nap most days- she’s trying  to drop it and I say, “Heck no!” because we all need a little break, right? J still takes several naps throughout the day. Anyway, on both trips, EK fell asleep watching a movie in Hubby’s mom’s bed (not at ALL typical) because she wouldn’t go to sleep the way she normally does (sippy of warm milk, blanket, kisses and leave her alone to sleep). J was so excited with everyone and all the sunshine that he would only nap if someone was holding him (typically he lays in his crib just fine for at least 45 minutes, and sometimes 2 hours depending on the time of day). So naturally, by the time we had dinner, took the evening boat ride, and packed into the car, it was meltdown city for the first half of the drive, and passed out kiddos for the second half, throwing off any semblance of a bedtime schedule we had left. But hey- this is going to be our summer, so we will figure it out! We have such a fun time that honestly, it doesn’t bother us that much.

Here are a few more photos from the trips:

Gorgeous girl, loving the sunset boat ride.
Gorgeous girl, loving the sunset boat ride.

 

What a good swimmer!
What a good swimmer!

 

We've got windy boat hair and we don't care.
We’ve got windy boat hair and we don’t care.

Photo credit for the photos in this post goes to my fabulous father-in-law!

Do you have any swim wear recommendations? Suggestions for balancing rest and play on a day trip? We need to hear them!

random thoughts

Father’s Day

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I am blessed with an amazing father. He is kind, loving, supportive, hard-working and loves to party. The combination of the last two attributes are the way in which I am most like him… and I am glad to have both. He is an awesome dad who worked hard to give his kids everything without giving us a sense of entitlement. That is one of the biggest things I hope to instill in my own children. There is a big grey area between not wanting for things, and having excess and no appreciation for it. At times, my childish and immature self may have felt slighted or even angry at having less than I wanted, having to work and behave and study for what I got, but now I look back and know it was 100% for my benefit. He worked hard to give me a private education for which I am incredibly grateful. He was firm but forgiving when I wrecked not one, but two cars during the first few years of driving. He was maybe sad but excited to drop me off at college two states away, and even more sad yet excited to marry me off to a man from the same faraway place.

The man who made a new home for me is the most loving, incredible and Godly man I know. He is encouraging, loving and strong for both me and our children. He is a doting, adoring father, the very image of God as I see him parent our kids. I can’t wait to keep learning from him about unconditional love and forgiveness as we raise our kids together, and also in the way that he treats me. He is truly an awesome human.

There are other wonderful fathers in my life for whom I am thankful. Two grandfathers whom are already in heaven, but loved me dearly. A father-in-law who raised the amazing man that is my husband and contributes to the spoiling of both me and my children. Several pastors who have fathered me through different stages in my life, and now several more pastors who parent alongside me. Men who I have known since boyhood that are now husbands and fathers. Men who I have only known as fathers. Men who are about to become fathers and their excitement is unparalleled. These are the men who should be honored today. Thank a dad. Give him a hug, a high five, a wave. Even if he isn’t yours.

Do you have some dads in your life that you’re thankful for? What makes them great?

My father and my daughter on her 2nd birthday

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My Graddy and me, circa 1981
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My husband and son
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My father-in-law, my son and my niece
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random thoughts

Things You Don’t Know About Me

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Just because I’m new to this, and because y’all don’t know me (see, just because I used that word you know me a little better already!) I’m going to make a list of things you don’t know yet but might want to…

1. I love making lists!
2. I’ve been a teacher for six years, and I’m terrified/excited to be a mostly stay-at-home mom for the next few years.
3. The only pets I had my whole life were hamsters. I still am not sure what to do around others’ pets for the first 20 times I meet them.
4. I went to a women’s college. I didn’t really plan it that way, but it was SO PERFECT for me.
5. I have a temper. Tempers are in my genes. I work on it every day, but God bless my husband and children.
6. I have an iPhone but don’t know how to use it. Some day, I’m going to really get it, but as for now I’m just posting on Instagram (follow me!) and playing Candy Crush.
7. I have one brother. We are almost 7 years apart in age. It’s this situation that made me want to have more than 2 kids and have them way closer together. We’re friends now, but we never played together or hung out much until we were both adults.
8. My birthday is December 13. I was born on a Friday. My daughter’s birthday is April 13. She was also born on a Friday. When I found out my son’s due date was December 29, 2013, and I realized that December 13 was a Friday, I thought SURELY the trifecta would be completed. It wasn’t (his birthday is December 28).
9. I am a very eclectic person; in my personal style, my taste in food/beverages, the music I listen to, and the company I keep, I am always surprising people with how much I truly do enjoy different things. I also enjoy the fact that I have no single label.
10. My first day in a public school was my first day student teaching during my senior year of college. I do not, however, qualify as a snob. Both my parents worked very hard to pay for private school for my brother and me. I appreciate my education more than most people in my situation.
11. I love red wine. Specifically, I love cheap red wine. When the hubby and I go to the grocery store for wine, we have a $10 cap. Our favorite thing to do is go to Whole Foods for wine, because usually they have a featured wine that’s $3 or $4 per bottle. We buy a loose bottle to try it, make sure it doesn’t taste like vinegar, and then we go back for a case. Or two.
12. I have played piano for 21 years. It makes me feel SO OLD to think that I’ve done anything for 21 years. Yikes.
13. I do not subscribe to any certain “parenting philosophy”. I love my kids, and I do what I believe is the best thing for them. There isn’t any one parenting style that fits our family perfectly, and I like it better that way. (I am not a fan of labels. See #9.)
14. I love being near a body of water. Lake, ocean, river, they all make me happy.
15. I’ve recently developed a love for exercising/working out. I’m not a fanatic, but I actually enjoy it now!

There you go. A few things you didn’t know about me. What are some things people might not know about you?

random thoughts

Let’s Get It Started!

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Get ready, blogosphere, because I’m here to stay! I’ve got hilarious stories, heartfelt encouragement, pictures of my adorable children and mom fails galore to share! I believe there is an infinite amount of wisdom to be gained from sharing experiences.  As a wife and mother, I know that gleaning everything I can from other women’s experiences is valuable to my own marriage and motherhood experience. Above all, I believe women are extraordinary and created for relationship. I hope that this blog will generate friendships, encouragement, tips, tricks, and happiness in general. Let’s shine on together.