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mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, and happy Valentine’s Day! My kids have been obssessed with the topic of Valentines’s Day, despite my efforts to not make a huge deal out of it (since Hubby and I don’t really do much). Either way, there’s always a party at school, so there’s no avoiding it. SO! A little humor for your Valentine’s Day, since who doesn’t love the funnies?!


After D bit J on the arm…
J: He gotted me so well. He was trying to caught me and he caught me! He tried to gobble me up and swallow me down into his froat. But I’m too big for him to swallow.

From EK’s teacher…
EK: My mom told me I couldn’t pee in the sink.
Why yes, yes I did.

J, playing in this picture:J, above: “I’m gonna smash you! I’m gonna smash you so good!” then “No! Please no!”

Talking about dinosaurs…
EK: Well, Jesus is gonna make more of them so we can see them alive.

I hear cheering from the other room..
EK: Yay, D! Wanna do it again?
I come in and see her putting together a puzzle and giving him the credit.

EK: I know what grasshoppers drink. They drink blood. My dad told me.
Me: Do you mean mosquitos?
EK: Oh yeah. I have short term memory loss.

EK: I’m going to be the mom ok? *Crosses her arms and runs off shouting* Oh no, the baby! Oh no, the baby!

What funny things have your kids said recently??

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! I’ve got a lot of funnies from EK this week, mostly because J’s vocabulary has (sadly) deteriorated into frustrated grunts and lots of “FINE!” and “OKAY!” Hopefully he’ll be back next week. Enjoy!

After J got in trouble…
EK: J, you know what? Even when you make bad choices, Jesus still loves you.

J: Did you remember that I was locked out on the porch and there was a robot?!
EK: You’ve been saying that for forty-nine years!

EK: These jeans have a hole.
Me: It’s okay, some people love holes in their jeans.
EK: I don’t want to wear them with a hole!
Me: Please. We aren’t going anywhere, just wear them to make it easy on me.
EK: Fine….
Two days later…
Me: *puts holey jeans in the trash*
Ek: Wahhh! I’m really gonna miss those jeeeeeeans!

EK: Look, mom! My booboo is getting better! I’m magical again!

EK: I tried to not dream about Teka, but I dreamed about Teka, that he would get Moana and kill her! Haha!
Me: Umm…

EK: Look, Mom! It’s the one with Darth Vader!
(For those who don’t know, that’s evil Emporer Zurg from Toy Story.)

J’s three major food groups:Broccoli, pickled radishes, and bulldozers.

J: You remember babies don’t do what they’re doing?
Me: Sure, babe.
J: And babies need help burping.
Me: Yes!

Tootsie roll=tweetsie roll (can you tell my kids are obsessed with trains?)

EK, singing: Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please slide down on me! Wait… is it slide or lie?
Me: Shine… It’s shine.

Arguing about how to pronounce “Motonui” (Moana’s island)…
EK: Listen to this! She says Motchnui!
Me: I think it’s Motonui.
EK: She knows how to say her own country’s name!
Me: I know, but I don’t think you’re hearing her correctly.
EK: I’m gonna listen to her again.

 

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Sorry it’s so late – I’ve had a busy day, full of running, friends, games, and homemade pizza. But no excuses… Here are the funnies!


Passing the hospital at night…
EK: There’s Lala’s work! (our PA friend)
J: And Lala’s work glows in the dark!

J: Can I have dessert?
Me: I asked you to eat five more bites, but you’ve only eaten two.
EK, with no pause: Just eat three more bites, J.
Me to Hubby: Was that math or coincidence?
Hubby: Let’s call it math.

Every time J is in a public bathroom: Is this toilet gonna flush really loud?

Avocado=abocado, alocado

Whenever I have to scold EK, she say, “I miss-ed you while I was at school!” Like, she missed me so she’s gonna say rude stuff now.

D: *brings me pig* Woof woof!
Me: That pig says, “Oink!”
D: *brings me a bear* Meow! Meow!
Me: A kitty cat says, “Meow,” not a bear!
D: *huffs and puffs away*

EK: Can I have that back?
J: (screaming) YES, MY DARLING PRECIOUS!

J: I hurt my finger! When I crosed it in the door!

J: Is it two firty o’clock?

J catapults himself onto D, and D pulls his hair. J: Well, that’s how I get pulled by my hair.


EK (in the picture above): I’ll have a number 8.

EK, holding a pencil: How do you spell Drew?
I spell it, and then his wife and daughter’s names too.
EK: I spelled their whole family! Oh wait! What about Walker and Quinn?! (their dogs)


EK (referring to the picture above, top to bottom): It’s a flower, a star, another flower, and a hoolie-hoop!
(She’s been using her Spirograph!)

EK: *toots*
Necie: If that smells, I’m leaving.
EK: You could just go like this when you smell it! *covers her nose*

EK: Let’s play hind and seek!
Me: I think you mean hind end seek.
EK: What?
Me: Nevermind.

EK to our friend who was holding her newborn baby girl: That baby is so cute, I could die!

Well, there you have it! What have your kiddos been saying recently?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! I’m glad to bring you a long list of hilarities, courtesy of the children! I literally can’t make this stuff up, y’all. Enjoy!

First time with his legs falling asleep…
J: Help me! My legs aren’t working! They’re not working a lot!

EK to Hubby: Daddy, tonight, can you take me on a special date, just you and me?
Hubby: You know what? Sure. I’ll take you out for dessert.
EK: Can we go have gelato?!
Hubby: Sure!
J, running in from the other room: TONIGHT! Can Mommy take me to have ice cream?! And that big girl (aka adult) who gives us gelato can give it to us?!
Me: *dying*

EK had just been out for ice cream with her daddy.
J: You say, “How was your special date?”
EK: No, you say it to me.
J: Oh. How was your special date?
EK: Great!

How the kids know we aren’t fancy: They ask for a towel instead of a napkin. A paper towel, of course.

Hubby: How was your nap?
EK: I didn’t go to sleep.
Me: Really?
EK: I just read a book.
Me: For three hours? (She can’t really read yet.)
EK: Yeah, I had to stay in my room till nap time was over.
Me: Um…

J, the first thing he said when he woke up: I love you and you’re awesome, EK.

 

EK to our waitress after we’d ordered: And also, excuse me, did you know that I’m the big sister who is four and that’s my brother who is three and my brother who is one and may I have my water in an adult cup?
Waitress: *pause* Since you’re the big sister, you can have water in an adult cup if your parents are okay with it.
EK: Okay. And for the brothers, they need cups with lids.
Me: *dying*

Bedtime stall of the week…
J: Wait! I forgot my nightstand water!

A breakfast song by J: This is the way we eat eat eat, eat eat eat, eat eat eat. This is the way we eat eat eat, before we go to play.

Misnomers of the week:
Stomach=stomachache, i.e.: My stomachache is getting hungry!
Potato=batato, i.e.: the food, Mr. Batato Head, etc.

What are your kiddos talking about this week?

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Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! Hope you’re enjoying 2017 so far! Here are just a few highlights from the past week in the lives (and mispronunciations) of my kiddos… enjoy!

EK, 100x a day: J! You’re unnerrupting!

Going through the line at McDonald’s…
EK and J: Almond Donald’s had a farm! E I E I O! And on that farm he had a poop! E I E I O! With a poop poop here, and a poop poop there! Here a poop, there a poop! Every where where where where where!
Hubby and me: *silently dying of laughter*

Watching The Sound of Music, when Maria is conversing with the Reverend Mother…
J: What’s this part?
EK: Maria’s just talking to her grandma.

EK: Can you plug the tree lights in?
Me: Why don’t you do it?
EK: It’s too hard.
J: I’ll do it!
EK: Well, I got it started for you!

Me: Ahh! He almost spilled my wine!
EK: Well its right there if you need it.

Mid-argument, EK to J: Do you think I do not have eyes?!

J, in a high-pitched voice: May I pwease have a tiny, little bit of candy from my stocking, pwease? (He’s been working on his vocal inflection, specifically when asking a question.)

EK, holding a bouquet of flowers: Daddy, can you water these up?

J: *drops a piece of bread into his soup* Look! It turned into chicken!

At bedtime…
Hubby: All right, good night, J.
J: Daddy, wait!
Hubby: What’s up?
J: Happy new year, Daddy.

Hubby: How’s that bread EK?
EK: Well, I don’t like the taste of it. (Said in a way that implied nothing else was wrong with it.)

At the doctor’s office for a check up, and our doctor was just telling us he was all finished…
J: Doctor? You’re the best doctor.
Doctor: *chokes up a little* You just made my year! How about I give you a few tokens to get a prize? How many do you think you’d like?
J: One. Or two, so I can share with EK.
Me: *dies*

Well, there you have it. Adorable and hilarious children. What have your kids been talking about recently? Any Christmas or New Year’s funnies?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Hey there, and happy Tuesday! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We sure did – we hosted and had a total of 13 here for about three days, and completed our celebrations with sugary hangovers yesterday. Back to a little more normal today, thankfully. Here are a few of our funnies from the past week. I tried to live in the moment and keep my phone out of my hand as much as possible, but I did write down these for ya! Enjoy!

EK: You should sleep down here! (in her room)
Me: Do you think Daddy would miss me?
EK: No, he’s at a long gig. You can sleep with me because I don’t snore.
Me: *dead*

EK coming out of the bathroom: Mom, we really should clean the toilets.

EK, on our waiter at the Mexican restaurant: He looks like a prince!

Bedtime stalling techniques of the week:
EK: Can you ask Daddy to put a stained glass window in our house?
A few minutes later…
EK: I think Daddy knows how to make windows.

Christmas morning, EK: What is all this stuff?
Me: Santa came!
EK: Oh.
Me: *face palm*about the money I spent*

EK: Look, I made bacon!

J: Can you sing a song about a doggy?
Me, singing: How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the wiggly tail…
J: No, like Charwotte, with the black eyes and the house and the pumpkin patch.
Me: *still clueless*
Me, 20 minutes later: Charlotte’s Web!

J: When I was a baby like D, I broke something very fwagile.
Me: Oh really?
J: Yeah, it was a very adult cup.
Me: Oh wow. Well I’m sure it’s alright now.
J: Yeah, and when I’m an adult, I could drink a lemon.
Me: Okay…

J spent several minutes drawing eyes and “zipping it”, aka sliding the bar across to erase what he’d drawn. He drew D, and EK, and finally settled on “Mike the Monster who has one eye” (from Monsters Inc.). And then he asked me not to “zip it”. 

EK, at the children’s museum: Daddy! I’m gonna go climb the bean stump!
Whole room: *dies laughing*

Well, I hope you enjoyed our funnies! Have a great week!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday! These are a few sillies from the time we were together with them this week!

J: I’m hot because of the triangles on my pants. (Points to plaid flannel pajama pants)

J runs up to me and burps.
Me: Ugh.
J: I burped!
Me: Yeah, I smelled it.
J: I burped right in your nose!
EK: I sneezed in Daddy’s ear!
Me: *face palm*

EK: When you were in New York, I miss-ed you guys THIS MUCH! (Reaches her hands “like a tall building”)

EK gets out of bed twice, telling me she has to ask me a question. When I finally get her back in there and hear the question, it’s this: “Why are there stars in the sky?” I’m sorry, I really want to have this conversation but not at bedtime.

Hubby: Did you have fun with your cousins?
EK: I had zero cousins. (Not true.)
J: I had five covens!

J got a monster-looking stuffed animal that his grandmother called a “wild man”. He is now telling everyone that it’s a “wise man”.
He’d make a great Balthazar.

Hubby let me know about this one…
EK: What letter does that start with?
J: D! For dinosaur!
EK: Yeah!
J: And Davis!
EK, quietly: And for Mommy’s word.
J, matching her tone: Yeah: dammit.
Well, at least they’re smart.

EK from the guest room: J! Will you come undo me?
Me: What?
EK: I’m stuck on the bed!
J: Yes! I’ll come get you!
(Apparently this is a game they play that I wasn’t privy to.)

That’s all for this week, since we had three days of being gone. More Christmas funnies next week!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! Yesterday was my birthday, and so it was full of doing fun things, running around town, and not publishing this post. So sorry it’s late, but here are this week’s funnies!


J’s misnomers:
Guitar pick = corn
Laundry basket=washing bucket

EK: How do you spell candy canes? And cookie! And ginger man bread?

At a restaurant, EK: Mommy, can you sing “Kill the Beast”?
Me: … *look at Hubby*
Hubby: I think she’s talking about him. *points to strapping guy with ponytail*
Ek: He’s REAL! (Gaston, obvi.)

Hubby was still in the bed when J was reaching down in between the bed and the wall. He heard him mumbling about “I’ll get your sister!” and “Almost there! I can almost reach her!” Finally after much struggling, Hubby realized that he had dropped something. He was holding the Christmas dog, but had dropped “his sister” behind the bed and couldn’t get her out. Here are the puppy siblings:

EK, speaking my truth: Jimmy John’s is such a great place. I love it.

EK, pretending to be me: EK! J! D! What’s your name?! (Nailed it.)

J: How do we spell Joseph?
Me: J-o-s-e-p-h.
J: That was really clooooooose!

More Christmas mashups…
Somewhere Over the Reindeer
The Grinch is yucky! A toad! A sock! (Sot, because that word is actually in the song.)

holidays, mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Things are always funny at our house, and so I’ve compiled this week’s quotations and sillies for you. There are even a few Christmas-themed comments (and songs!) as well. Enjoy!

J, at the table: I gotta go pee!
Me: Why don’t you ask Daddy if you can be excused?
J: Daddy, can I pee pee excused?

J made a “necklace” out of these:And then brought me two of the links, saying: Look! I brought two slices of my necklace!

EK at dinner: I dropped my napkin on the floor! I hate napkins.

After several days of begging me to sing Christmas songs as their lullabies…
Me: Want me to sing a Christmas song?
J: Uh, sure. Which one?
Me: Uh, well, I don’t have to.

McDonald (as in the farm): Miss Donald, Mix Donald and uncle of Huey, Dewey, and Louis. I guess it makes sense.

J, in another room: This is not working! This is a sad day for me.

J, randomly melting my heart: Mom, you’re always gonna be my lady.

In the “Monkeys Jumping in the Bed” rhyme, J always says, “…and the mama-doctor said, ‘No more monkeys jumping on my bed!'”

In the sushi restaurant, J listens to the song playing in their house system: This song is called Mulan!

J on Santa: Santa’s waiting for me get RUDE!

At dinner…
J: Everyone take a drink of your water!
Everyone: Okay!
J: One! Two! Three!
Everyone: *drinks*
J: Four! Five! *drinks*

Hubby: Your hair is getting down in your food, babe.
EK: I’ll just put some conditioner in it.

J: What’s that on your shirt, Daddy?
Hubby: Probably whatever D is eating.
Me: I think he means the alligator on your polo.

And a couple of Christmas Carol Mash-Ups:
To the tune of Happy Birthday: Happy merry Christmas, happy merry Christmas! Happy merry Christmas, and a cup of good cheer!
“Away in a manger, the cradle will rock…” or “Away in a manger, lay down his sweet head…” I guess there are a lot of words in that song.
Santa baby, slip a table under the tree…

Do your kids misunderstand the words to songs? Especially Christmas songs?

home, mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Happy Tuesday! I hope you guys had a nice time getting back to the real world this week. I know it’s been hard for me to find my productivity! It’s getting harder and harder to write things down as the kids say them – they’re so often in the middle of conversations or at a moment that it’s tough to write a note about how funny they are! But here are some funnies I did manage to write down. Enjoy!

J, literally all the time, with perfect inflection: Honey! Where’s my super suit?! (Quoting Frozone/Lucius from The Incredibles)

EK: Look, Mom! Matcheration! (Pointing to the photo below, meaning some sort of cross between matching and organization)

J, at 7:00am: IIIIII waaaant myyyyyy giiiiiingiiiiiin aaaaaale! (Odd time for ginger ale, I think.)

EK and J, angry screaming at each other across the house on Thanksgiving morning: “I’m thankful for you!” and “I’m thankful for you, too!”

EK, about our friends’ chocolate lab: Bella’s a good-looking dog, but man, is she big!

EK, doing something with Necie: G-Daddy! Will you come help your number one girl and your wife?!?!

EK: That’s canfastic! (Fantastic, I think.)

EK and J were practicing clearing their throats. J was clearing his with his mouth closed (hrm hrm, if I had to write it down) and EK was clearing hers with her mouth open (ahem). She kept saying, “No! That’s not they way!” until he did it with his mouth closed, and was able to make the ahem sound. Then she said, “Yeah! That’s the way!”

Me, conversationally, to Hubby: EK is really good at learning songs and lyrics.
EK: You’re still a teacher for me, Mom.
Me: *teacher heart melting*actual tears*

EK, early in the day: Mom, can I wear some of your lip gloss?
Me: This is actually lip stain and stays on for a long time, so I’ll get you some lip gloss.
J, later in the day: Mom, your lipstick looks good!
EK: It’s lip stain.
J: No it’s not! It’s lipstick!
Ek: It’s LIP STAIN!

A friend of ours at church was horsing around with EK, and said, in a fake mean voice, “What if I said you had to sit right here and be quiet?!” (EK knows he’s kidding, by the way.) J (who apparently didn’t know he was kidding) runs up, hits him on the back, and shouts, “Don’t talk to my sister like that!” (Sibling win.)

In the Starbucks drive-thru, J: We’re at Chickalay, Mom!
Me: We must go to Chick-fil-A a lot.

Hope you enjoyed these highlights! Do your kids argue about random stuff, too? PLEASE make me feel better, ha!