Tag Archives: mommyhood

books, food, home, mommyhood, pregnancy, random thoughts

Currently

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I’m linking up this week with Becky at Choose Happy for her Currently link-up! If you’ve never joined us, you should! I love reading what everyone is currently up to. What’s going on with you?

currently button

Reading || I actually finished The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton! I’ve been working on it for an embarrassingly long time… but I’m done! I loved it, I just didn’t have much time to be reading. Anyway, I’ve just started the first book in the Maze Runner series. So far, it seems like the Hunger Games or the Divergent series in that it’s a dystopian society and there are a lot of weird things going on. It was on my “recommended books” list from Amazon based on what I’d read, and was rated pretty well. I’ll let you know how it is!

age of innocence

maze_runner

Watching || The Harry Potter movies! We finally got them out of storage and are watching them! We’ve watched the first two, and my withdrawal is finally satiated. Hopefully we’ll get through the eight movies before the baby gets here, but who knows!

ravenclaw

Loving || the new tile in our bathroom! Everything is supposed to be finished and put back together by the end of the week, so naturally I’m really excited to use my own bathroom again. It’s been interesting either going to the hallway bathroom or all the way downstairs (to the newer, nicer one of course!) to do everything, and I’ll be glad to be back in my regular routine… upstairs.


Preparing || our freezer and our nursery! I’ve got everything to make two recipes worth of muffins, and enough frozen fruit to feed 1000 people breakfast smoothies! I wanted to at least have some breakfasts taken care of so that the morning routine with the kids wouldn’t go awry if I could help it. Having a healthy breakfast is a priority for me, and starting the day smoothly helps the rest of the day stay along the same lines. When my kids are throwing their breakfasts in the floor or refusing to eat them (because that obviously happens sometimes – FOR NO REASON AT ALL) it can throw my mood off. I planned for smoothies they love and muffins they devour that are also healthy! I’m excited about it. The nursery is now clear of bathroom stuff (even if our closet isn’t) and has been rearranged. The floor is super clean, the drawers are full of clean clothes, and I even have some diapers! I call that progress! Now if I could pack a hospital bag, I’d really be in business.

I mean, it’s coming along, right?
Messy but it’s happening!

Coveting || this Lily-Jade diaper bag. I saw it on Instagram a while back, and have been looking at it again and again ever since. It’s beautiful, flexible, and well-made, but totally out of my price range. The SALE PRICE is $295 and I just can’t justify it. But it sure is one beautiful bag!

ELZ1-BRANDY_GLD-2T

Celebrating || the Fourth of July! We had a day of eating red, white and blue donuts, and spending time with friends! Not many photos, but it was a good day! We even let the kids stay up for the local fireworks, watched from the elementary school in our neighborhood- the perfect spot!  IMG_1716

This girl loves donuts!
This is J’s only patriotic swag. (Sorry Hubby, for posting this photo bomb, but I was only trying to get the photo of J!)
If you’ve got a couple of toddlers, you know how tough it is to get a family photo!
The only photo from the fireworks… J sleepily snuggling my friend Lauren and loving his glow sticks! They are a must for fireworks, am I right?

Well, we’ve had a busy week, and things just keep getting busier as we prepare for our little guy! What has been going on with you? What are you preparing for? Link up and join us!

food, food, home, mommyhood, random thoughts

Why We HAVE to Buy a New Espresso Machine

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Naturally, as a parent, I need some caffeine. Hubby and I are constantly feeding our addictions. We wouldn’t survive a moment without it. So we have a percolator, a Keurig, a French press, and an espresso machine. And a grinder, of course. Between these things, we usually manage to survive on our coffee intake without having to go out and get it from somewhere (although we have a few choice places around here we like to go if, you know, we’re already out).

But recently, our beloved espresso machine is doing this thing… It’s like it wants to explode a little. We aren’t overfilling it, or letting it run out of water or letting it run too long. Truly, I think the machine is just old. It’s about 20 years old and we are the third owners (all in our family – it’s not from Craig’s List or anything). But anyway, it’s put a serious kink in our routine. 

 We like to have a cup of coffee, or even two, in the morning, and then about lunchtime we like another little punch. This is usually in the form of a beverage from the espresso machine. Hubby typically likes a straight up shot (or four). He likes to do the least amount of sipping with the most amount of power. I go back and forth… I like regular espresso, but I also like to make fancy drinks or iced lattes when it’s hot. This blast to push us through the afternoon is crucial. If we don’t get it, we don’t get anything done during naptime (like gardening, bill paying or house cleaning) and we are in terrible moods the rest of the evening. If Hubby has to go into work late, it takes another round of caffeine shots. It’s like a vaccination against tiredness. 

 So, in light of our addiction, our broken espresso machine, and our upcoming addition to the family, we pretty much know that we’re going to need a hasty replacement or else we are IN FOR IT when Baby D gets here and is waking us up at all hours of the night. I know we’d survive, but I don’t think I’d remember anything. I use caffeine as a motivator, an encourager, a Rememberall (a little HP reference for those of you fellow nerds), a communicator (often I let it speak for me), and a peacekeeper. I’m less annoyed, more able to function and generally happier if I’ve got a little caffeine flowing through my veins. Okay, fine. It does sound like I have a problem.

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Hellooooooo, Tuesday! The days are going slowly as I’m surviving the next few weeks. Good thing I have hilarious children (and a hilarious Hubby) to keep me entertained! Here are our recent funnies…

In the picture above, J was pushing the light back and forth, saying, “Wheeeee! Wheeeee!” (Boy mom, am I right?)

In response to being woken up by the tile workers…
EK: Those mans woke up me!

There is a really neat pop-up book that both my kids love called “The Little Fish Who Cried Shark”. It’s basically like it sounds… there’s a prank-playing fish named Sprat who scares everyone else by shouting, “SHARK!” when there really isn’t one nearby, and of course he gets scared by a shark at the end of the book. Anyway, Sprat, when being approached by the shark, says, “There’s no shark around here!” EK has taken to saying, “I’m scared! There’s a shark around here!” As if we really think there’s a shark in our house.

Every time I put sunscreen on EK, she starts talking about birds… Birds eating our blueberries, birds scaring her (one got in the kitchen one day and she’s never gotten over it), birds, birds, birds. I finally figured it out this morning. Hubby said, as he greased her up, “Yeah, we have to put on sunscreen so you don’t get a sunburn.” That started all the talk about birds. LIGHT BULB: She thinks we’re saying sun bird and she’s going off on a bird tangent. Random.

EK, upon finding a picture from our wedding: What’s this, mama?
Me: That’s a picture from Daddy’s and my wedding, where we got married!
Later, when I was kissing Hubby, in slight resemblance to the wedding photo…
EK: Are you guys getting married?!
Hubby: Yep!
EK: Awww! I’m gonna go marry my brother!
Hubby and me: *maniacal laughter*

Nature Lesson
EK, while eating a banana: Monkeys eat bananas!
Me: Yes, they do!
EK: Birds eat blueberries. Our blueberries. Ugh!
Me: …..

J, trying to say “cheese” because he wants another piece: Beeyas! Beeyas! (Think someone from Brooklyn saying “beers”.) Beeyas! Beeyas! (I was dying.)

EK, when a thunderstorm was starting: Mom! I hear bumber!

EK: Mom, can you make the horsey neigh? (Our neighbors have horses. Usually my answer to this is no, I can’t force them to neigh.)
Me: Hey! Horse! Neeeiiiiigh!!!!!
J (shouting in the same direction): Neigh! Neigh! Hey! Neigh! Hey! Neigh! Neigh! Neigh!
Hubby and I exchange looks of… trying not to laugh.

This ball of string was found by EK in the basement.  She wound and unwound it all evening the other day, and insisted on sleeping with it. She also insisted on sleeping in a tutu. You can imagine what she/it looked like ten minutes before I took this picture. I only wish I had gotten my camera out earlier. She was yelling from the basement, “I’m stuck!”  

 The string saga continues… I just keep finding it randomly placed throughout the house in various stages of tangled.

After seeing that J took a ballpoint pen to our leather sofa…
Hubby: This might just be what we get for having kids. We can’t have nice things. Joseph is our nice thing and he ruins all our other nice things.

mommyhood, pregnancy, random thoughts, siblings

Currently: One Month Left!

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Happy Monday, y’all! As usual, I’m linking up with Becky at Choose Happy for another Currently! We love to know what’s going on with you, so link up and join us!

currently button

The biggest thing going on in my life right now is obviously the preparation for baby D. As of today, I’m one month out from my due date! My abs are sore just from living, my feet are swelling a bit, and I’m less and less able to breathe normally. I’m praying for him to drop soon so that he’s off my lungs a bit! Anyway, here’s a regular old Currently for you!

Feeling || Excited, nervous, huge and uncomfortable. It’s a lot of feelings. I’m also feeling a little sentimental for my big babes… I know that as soon as Baby D gets here, they’re going to seem HUGE to me, and so grown up! I’m treasuring the time with them as much as I can.

Eating || Mexican food and ice cream! Last night, we had family night at our favorite Mexican restaurant, and then we went out for ice cream! The kids had a fun time eating outside and enjoying their ice cream. My kiddos love some sweets!

I’m so glad we got that silly hat from Tweetsie. He loves it.
This gal’s chocolate ice cream face is unstoppable.

A cute little story: at the ice cream shop, the cashier asked if the kids were twins. We don’t get that too often, but that wasn’t the first time. They’re just close enough in size now that I guess people see them and think they might be. Their hair is the same color, their features definitely favor, but EK is taller and lankier, and J still hangs on to most of his baby fat. They just look so different to me, and obviously I know how much farther along developmentally EK is. It’s hard for me to think they’d be twins, but hey, I just know them too well!

Going ||  to the movies! This morning, we went with some friends to see Inside Out. It was the kids’ first movie in the theatre, and EK passed the test with flying colors. J ate some popcorn, ran around a bit, and Hubby took him to Home Depot for the last hour. Soooo the movies will be a special treat for just EK for a while longer. But the movie was awesome! I definitely recommend seeing it!inside out

 

Shopping || for a new (to us) car! This sounds fun and exciting, but really, the pressure is on. We’ve been researching to find a non-minivan place for three car seats (aka a third row), preferably some captain’s seats, not terrible gas mileage, and no prior problems. Sounds pretty much impossible, right? It kind of is. It feels like it’s consuming me right now and honestly I’ll just be glad when we’ve found something and bought it. Sheesh! If you’re driving something you love that fits the bill, feel free to tell me about it!

Well, that’s what’s going on in my life! A little glimpse into the summertime, pre-third-baby rush! What’s going on with you?

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus

What It’s Like When “That Kid” in the Church Nursery Is Yours

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

  

I’m a worship leader at my church. I really, really love it. It’s a job that’s fulfilling for me, and I feel like it isn’t really “work” to do it. The only exception is when I’ve got both my tiny ones with me. A couple of weeks ago, Hubby played in the band with me at church, so we were there before 9:00am, with both kids in tow. That’s before the nursery starts, but both of us were setting up and starting rehearsal with the rest of the band. Naturally, I let them eat breakfast at church because that occupies a lot of their attention while I’m trying to get things rolling. But this particular morning, they just seemed to be finished too quickly, and needed to be under my feet. As in literally under my feet, playing with the keyboard pedal and my water bottle. It was not as bad as like Easter Sunday, where practice was a little more important than usual, my kids were a little more needy than usual, and they managed to spill 95% of my $5 latte all over the stage rug. Sorry about that, Pastor. Anyway….

EK managed to get a mic that wasn’t plugged in, and commenced an adorable dance party while she sang into the mic. It was pretty adorable to have that going on while we rehearsed. J, however, needed to be playing the keys from in between me and the keyboard – and at 33 weeks pregnant, ain’t nobody got room for that. So by the time we had set up, tried to play the first song, mostly failed, and I was starting to get frustrated, it was time enough to take the kids downstairs to their nursery rooms.

EK loves it. She’s got friends in both services (she literally asks to “go play with her friends now”), knows all the teachers on the rotation, and doesn’t even look back when we get to the door. It took us a long while to get there, though, and the start of preschool last year was really her landmark for getting over her nursery dislike.

J, however, is still in the throes of screaming right when we get onto the hallway. He knows I’m leaving him there, and he’s not happy about it. Typically, he ends up crying for a while and being okay for the rest of the time, but sometimes he’s angry the whole time I’m gone. I hate it for him. I hate it for me. I hate it for whoever’s in there with him. Everybody down there has done everything they can for him. He even stays in the room he was in last year because he’s slightly more comfortable in there than in the bigger kid room that he’s technically old enough for. He wants to be snuggled and coddled, I guess, and that happens more in the baby room. My 30lb, 18 month old baby. Poor guy, right?

I just keep leaving him thinking, “He’ll get over it.” but it’s been months and he’s not over it. He does start preschool for two mornings a week this fall, so maybe that will do for him what it did for EK, and push him over the hump of hating nursery. But I worry about it every Sunday, apologize when I drop him off, and feel even worse because I’m not like every other mom. I’m not available to run downstairs and snuggle him for a few minutes, or check on him during the service. I have to be upstairs, either leading worship, ready to hop up on stage at a moment’s notice, or available to troubleshoot technical difficulties they might have. I can’t go help him or make him feel better. I leave him in totally capable hands, I just feel terrible about having “that kid” that won’t stop crying, or “that kid” who has to be wheeled around for two hours in a stroller up and down the halls instead of playing nicely with the other kids.

As a mom, it’s like a trifecta of “Am I a bad mama?” It’s hard. It’s embarrassing. It’s sad to leave your kid screaming, week after week. Should I be leaving him like this, week after week? Are the other moms judging me because of how sad he is every time? Are the workers dreading when I walk in with my kid? Am I a bad mom? Could I be doing something different to make him happier? I don’t know. I just know that my kid can’t be the only one. Other kids cry when they’re in the nursery. I’ve seen it. Other moms have to pry their kids off when they leave, right? It’s all worth it for a few minutes of worship time and community with other people who love Jesus. I need that time. I need to make time for Him to be my focus every week. I have to let go of the guilt I feel leaving him unhappy, and hang on to the Father who can make us both feel safe and secure.

mommyhood, pregnancy, random thoughts

Summer Goals: Tired Kids

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This week’s mission: wear out the kids. 

 EK has been attending camp at our church every day from 9:30-12:30, and it’s like they put her in a hamster wheel and make her run for three hours. She comes home so excited but so exhausted that she can barely make it to 1:30 before she’s begging for a nap.

While EK is at camp, I’ve taken two days to take J to the pool with some friends of ours, and let him swim for two hours in between drop off and pick up. He’s so worn out that he almost falls asleep in the car on the way home. But it’s a great way to get a nice, long, early nap out of them, and still have plenty of playing and hanging time at the end of the day.

We’ve been so busy with something every day for a while now that I am excited this is a week with routine. Yes, it’s still busy, but it’s a similar thing every day. I crave routine, and I think the kids do, too. EK needed a week of socialization. J needed a week of less sibling time. This mama needed a week of having only one kid for half the day before I added a third one into the mix. It’s been SO FUN to have uninterrupted time with J where he isn’t vying for my attention. I often get to do things with EK because she’s easier to take around with me and easier to entertain in most situations. We get a little more girl time in one-on-one.

An extra perk to mom and the kids being out of the house in the mornings: Hubby’s getting a LOT done. Between deep cleaning and painting our bathroom, he’s been a rockstar on the home front while I’ve been keeping the kids out of the way. We knew we were up to our eyeballs in home projects (but really, though) so having time that the kids aren’t “trying to help” is crucial.

 Hubby took the kids after camp today to lunch and to the local produce store. They had a great time, and were ready to go straight to sleep when they got home. These early naps have been lovely. 

Now the question remains: How do I, as an exhausted mama, keep up the routine of a busy morning with them both, while it’s super hot outside, without boring myself? I can’t do the children’s museum every day. The park is so hot the kids won’t get on the slides. They love the grocery store, but how many times this week can I actually justify going there? Give me all your ideas!

mommyhood, pregnancy

35 Week Bumpdate!

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 Well folks, it’s getting close. At 5 weeks out, I’m feeling about as pregnant as I’ve ever felt. That’s saying something, as a woman who has actually experienced being 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Sheesh. Anyway, here is a little update about how I’m doing… I got this little list of things to talk about off of several other blogs I read, so I didn’t come up with them myself.

How far along: 35 weeks, 2 days

Total weight gain: Now, I normally wouldn’t say this because I don’t put a lot of stock in weight by any standards, but because I’m so far along, I will. I’ve gained around 18lbs right now.

Maternity clothes: Is this a question? Because duh. Obviously I’m wearing maternity clothes. The only things I can wear that isn’t maternity belong to Hubby.

Stretch marks: Thankfully none that I can tell. I haven’t had them with any of mine. *knocks on wood*

Sleep: Between 7 and 8 hours most nights, but broken. I’m waking up either to pee, or relieve leg cramps, or both.

Best moment of this week: Probably pool time with J with friends while EK was at camp! He’s doing so well and being in the water was SO MUCH BETTER than dealing with the heat! Not to mention being weightless was nice.

Miss anything? My body. I’m ready to be closer to my normal size! I love being pregnant – truly, I do! – but I miss not having the bulge.

Movement: All day long! Most of the time I love it, but he is big enough now that I am often uncomfortable or the movement actually hurts sometimes.

Food cravings: I haven’t had too many cravings recently, really. Right now, I can’t eat very much at one time, so it’s a lot of snacking.

Anything making you queasy/sick: Not really. Although I’m not a great pill swallower, so sometimes that makes me a little queasy (I’m looking at you, disgusting iron supplements.)

Showing yet? See “Maternity clothes”.

Gender: Boy!! 💙

Labor signs: Not yet, but I’m having some Braxton Hicks here and there.

Belly button in or out: Out. It’s been out for a while…

Wedding rings on or off: On! Still glad about that.

Happy or moody most of the time? To be completely honest, moody. Sorry, folks.

Looking forward to: Meeting this baby! Hopefully around 38 weeks… Because I’m so tired and uncomfortable!

Exercise: Ha! Ahem, I mean, I go to prenatal yoga once a week, and I chase my toddlers all day. Oh! Oh! And I’ve been gardening (read: shoveling dirt).

Additional symptoms: My feet are starting to swell, and I’m only comfortable when laying on my side. Yikes.

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say (and Do)

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Happy Tuesday! This week has been one of stories more than catchphrases, so I’m sorry for the different layout. But I bet you’ll giggle at these things as much as we did!

  
In relation to the picture above, J was extremely tired when I put him down for his nap, and he’d been begging to go for a few minutes by the time I put him down. So apparently he was too tired for all that junk in his crib, and threw it all out to go to sleep. Simplify, am I right?

EK, anytime I’m out of the room for a minute: Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you anywhere!

Getting on to an elevator…
EK: Come on Jophiss, let’s get on the alligator!

So EK can’t really say “Joseph” yet. She used to call him “Joe-face”, which came about organically and I LOVE it when she says it. She then switched to Joe-Joe, which is what several of our family members call him, but now she’s back to trying for “Joseph” but resulting in “Jophiss”. I’m pretty much loving it.

Sometimes, at bedtime, Hubby and I sing songs from old movies or shows as lullabies to our kiddos. Some of our repeat offenders are “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, “La Vie en Rose”, and “Edelweiss”. Recently, “Edelweiss” has entered into my son’s vocabulary, and he often sings about it. He sings the word “edelweiss” (the first word of the song) correctly, believe it or not, then jabbers on in a semi-correct melody for a few more bars. Today, with several of our family members around, he started singing it, and EK picked up the tune, and finished the song. IT WAS PERFECT. And when I say perfect I mean she only missed a few words and it was so dear to listen to. Not a dry eye in the room.

Reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
EK: Yeddow duck, yeddow duck, what do see? I see blue horse lookin’ at me! Neeiiigghhh!

Sitting down at lunch together, leaning back in her chair…
EK: Soooooo! Whadda you guys doing?

Pointing to a callous on Hubby’s hand…
EK: Daddy! You got a boo-boo?
Hubby: Yeah, I do.
EK: You better get a band-aid on there!

J has always liked green beans. The other night, he put up a giant fight about them. I stepped away from the table for a minute, and came back to EK feeding him the green beans. He was happily shoving them into his mouth. I call that a win.

EK, upon waking from a nap, pointing to her ankle: Mamaaaaa… My ables huurrrrrrt….

Well, that’s a wrap up for our week in kiddo-speak. What are your kids saying? I LOVE it when people comment and tell me!

mommyhood, My Big Jesus, parenting fails, siblings

My Son’s First Haircut: A Total Toddler Travesty

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This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

These things happen, they say.

You’ll look back and laugh about it, they say.

Well, I cried about it.

We had just come back from a quick overnight trip to the mountains. We had mostly unpacked, the kids were playing with their toys we’d left behind (because 24 hours away makes them seem new!) and Hubby and I both had some work to get done. While he started getting ready for his gig, I retreated to my computer to do some work for my service on Sunday. I was probably out of the room (the living room… where everyone else was) for about seven or eight minutes total, when I came back through the house.

EK saw me coming and happily shouted, “Mom! I’m cutting Jophiss’ hair!”

I wasn’t alarmed yet. She often took a plastic toy knife and sawed away at her own or her brother’s hair, jabbering on about haircuts. But I quickly saw that this time, there was no pretend sawing happening. My pink-handled scissors from the kitchen drawer were being used to strew my son’s perfectly virgin curls all over the floor. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized what couldn’t be taken back: he had just received his first haircut. No little ceremony, no taking pictures, no sweet, little-boy ‘do resulted from this experience. Just a jagged chunk taken from over his left eye. And now? Nothing left to do but just take that line all the way across his forehead.

So sitting in the floor, tears blurring my eyes (safety first!) I took the blasted scissors, and finished the job. Of course, he figured he didn’t need to sit still for me, so it took a couple of tries to get a semi-straight line of “bangs” across his big noggin. (I want you to know I’m still crying a little as I write this.)

 A couple of days later, we’d started to get used to his new look. At least we didn’t have to swoop the bangs over to get them out of his eyes, right? Anyway, one evening J took a big spill and bonked his forehead on a door, right between his eyes. After I got him calmed down, gave him some Tylenol to ease the blow, got him snuggled in my lap and his whimpering stopped, I only had one thing to say. I looked up at my worried mother-in-law, who had helped me get him calmed down, and said, “Well, if EK hadn’t cut his hair, we wouldn’t even be able to see his giant bruise!”

 Because making light of a stressful situation (even by making fun of a previous stressful situation) can dispel that tension and get a giggle out of even the most concerned grandparent.

mommyhood, siblings

Moments of “Just Us”

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Sometimes, there are beautiful, unplanned moments of bonding with your little ones. Moments like these can’t be fabricated or sought out. You just get to be blissfully surprised when they happen.

  
The other night, the kids got their dinner and bath early, and so there was quite a bit of play time before it was time to go to bed. In J’s new room downstairs, we have a queen size bed waiting for him to move into it. (Okay fine, there’s nowhere else to put it for the next few months before he’s ready for it.) Anyway, EK, J and I were piled on the bed. They had some toys they were playing with, and I was half playing on my phone, and half falling asleep. These days (33 weeks, for crying out loud!), it’s difficult to not want to nod off at every opportunity. After a little while, EK ran off to go find Daddy and I was left with J nestled in that space between my belly and knees, happily playing with his toys.

After my eyes had been closed for a minute or two, J crawled up next to my face, and started jabbering away about something. He does this fairly often, delivering a monologue that only he can fully understand, but that we all stop and listen to. I opened my eyes and looked at him, and he just stared into my eyes and talked to me. How I wish I knew what he was saying! Telling me secrets of dreams and desires, or just telling me he’d rather I fix his dinner some other way, I don’t know, but I loved just listening to his scruffy voice, lilting as though with perfect English.

I rolled over onto my back, and he crawled on my belly, still jabbering on. When he paused, I leaned forward a little bit, giving him what (I didn’t realize then) must’ve been his first Eskimo kiss – you know, where you rub your noses together? His giggles filled the room, vigorously shaking his head back and forth against mine, trying unsuccessfully to recreate the nose rubs. Every time I drew our faces together and “Eskimo kissed” him, he dissolved into giggles, rolling back and forth across my swollen belly.

Now, bringing the attention to my belly, the very tangible reminder of the time soon to come, I thought about how in a few weeks, my attention will be split even further, as I nurture and nourish our third child. These uninterrupted moments with my oldest two will be harder to come by than they already are. But for right now, I’m going to rest in the moments that are just us. Even if I’m tired (falling asleep, even) or uncomfortable or just want to be by myself. I’m going to come when they call me, and say yes more often. I’m going to treat myself and them to more special moments of “just us”.