Tag Archives: pregnancy

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy, siblings

I am exhausted.

March 16, 2015 Only Hsuman 4 Comments

This post appeared on the My Big Jesus blog! We spent today bopping around town, carrying kids to and fro, shopping for this and getting ready for that. Our house is a madhouse, like it often is these days. I don’t mind – really, I don’t. I know that it’s a season, and that things will return to a semi-normal. I know that my kids will be these ages but once. I know that my niece and nephew (who I also got to see this evening!) will be these ages but once.

Yet, my lovely and insightful mother-in-law said something to me, in passing really, tonight that made me think. She had spent the morning with my son, and part of the afternoon with my daughter. She said, “I don’t know how y’all do it with these two. I guess I did it with mine, but I’m exhausted!” Going on, she explained that she meant chasing them around her house, entertaining them, and making sure nothing got broken.

Well let me tell you, I understood her completely. While my house is basically baby-proofed and I can let them run free a little more in our home than she can in hers (split-level=stairs upon stairs) I am still frequently exhausted at the end of the day. Even if I haven’t completed a single housekeeping task, or didn’t get in a work out, or haven’t left the house, or if I did catch a little snooze during someone’s naptime, I’m often exhausted.

It isn’t simply that my back hurts, or that I’m sleep deprived, although sometimes those things are true. (Have you lugged around a 30lb sack of flour recently?) It’s emotional exhaustion. It’s mental exhaustion. I’m not a creative person, so EK really makes me work my imagination (ie: silly voices, strange scenarios, and telling her “stories” that I made up). I’m constantly trying to think of ways to educate – nay, entertain – two developmental levels, two totally different personalities. I’m trying to explain to my daughter why she should share, can’t push her brother, and shouldn’t scream in the house. I’m trying to distract my son when he just wants to be held – for the entire 12 hours he is awake. I’m trying to make healthy breakfasts and dinners that also look enticing and taste delicious. I’m trying to not lose patience with messes and attitudes and too-short naps and refused meals. It’s a lot. It’s trying, giving, sacrificing, and pushing myself.

So yes, in a word, I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted when I think of how much love I’ve got in my heart for these little beings that need me so. I’m exhausted when I think that by the end of this summer, I’ll have a third little being that needs me like these two do. I’m exhausted when I think that in 18 years, they’ll need me so much less. I’m exhausted to think they won’t always snuggle into my neck or say “mmmmmm-ah!” when I ask for a kiss. But being exhausted in the midst of right now is a fulfilled, happy exhaustion. When I slip into my bed, and don’t have time to finish one sentence in my book, I’m not really upset about it. I’m just wishing I had more patience, more creativity, more knowledge to share with those exciting, excitable toddlers that I call my own.

food, home, mommyhood, pregnancy, random thoughts

Currently

March 9, 2015 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

Linking up with Becky and Choose Happy and several other friends for another Currently! Please join us and let us know what you’re currently up to!

Craving || Banana peppers. I like them on sandwiches, salads, and pizza. Why do I need them all the time? No clue. I’m also eating a lot of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. 🙂

Enjoying || The gorgeous warmer weather! It’s finished snowing (hopefully) and we are seeing the sun! I even took my kids on a walk AFTER DINNER tonight! I know – totally unheard of!

Excited about || having only three more weeks (ish) in our renovation! That’s only three more weeks of farming out laundry, going around the whole house to get to everything in the back, and having WAY TOO MUCH stuff upstairs. Also, I’m excited to start looking at some new furniture for the downstairs, and get back all the furniture that we kept (because we loved it) that’s in garages all over town.

Loving || My kiddos. EK has made it at least a little bit past her truly ornery stage (she was a pill for a few weeks there) and gotten back closer to her regular disposition – which is good, because I was going nuts. Also, both kids are communicating a lot more (at their own levels) than they used to, so I’m excited to see how this next few weeks goes in the way of talking!

Watching || The Bachelor finale! I’m leaving for a friend’s house in just a few minutes!

#imonteamWhitney

Whelp, I’m off to see who wins!

mommyhood, pregnancy, siblings

Big Sister of the Year

March 2, 2015 Only Hsuman 2 Comments

My recent conversation with EK:

EK: (Pointing at the bump) Mama! You got a baby in your tummily?

Me: Yes! Are you excited?

EK: Yeah, I love him!

Me: Do you remember his name?

EK: *says the name* My friend! He is so special!

Me: That’s a wonderful thing to say! I think he’s special, too.

EK: You go to the doctor to make sure he’s safe? (That’s how I had explained going to the doctor so much.)

Me: Yes, I go to the doctor to check on the baby and make sure he’s safe.

I’m blown away by the little gal’s love and kindness toward him already. However, sometimes I wish she’d show a little more love and kindness to the brother that’s outside my womb.

faith, mommyhood, My Big Jesus, pregnancy, siblings

Once… Twice… Three Times with Baby

March 2, 2015 Only Hsuman 11 Comments

I like to think that by blogging, I’m able to impart a little motherly wisdom, provide a little entertainment, and encourage some weary women out there with a little good news. I think this post does all three of those things pretty well… So here’s a post about pregnancies – and how they’re all different.

When you’re pregnant with your first baby, no matter how you feel, you probably have the opportunity to rest a lot. With your first, you can lounge around in your free time, sleep a lot, rest, and exploit your spouse to please cook the thing you’re craving and take out the trash because your pregnant nose is in overdrive and you can’t stand the smell. You always know what week you’re on (16 weeks, 2 days, 3 hours and 15 minutes) and you have the due date marked in all your friends’ and family members’ calendars. You have a perfect nursery, complete with outfits for every type of weather and every size up to 3T. You’ve looked at day cares and preschools, read parenting books and blogs, and chosen the perfect name for a successful human. You are way ahead of the game, due purely to excitement.

When you’re pregnant with your second baby, there is no resting unless your kid is resting (so basically none). There is no requesting special meals, because the meals revolve around the current kid, not you. If he takes out the trash, you’re probably doing the dishes or changing a diaper, anyway. You try to eat as healthily as possible (fruit, non-sugary cereal, etc) since you’re trying to feed your kid pretty healthy, too. You keep on doing your thing as much as possible, sneaking naps if you can, and going to bed a little earlier, if your spouse is helping with laundry.

With your third, all bets are pretty much off. You’re going and bopping and feeding and playing and cleaning and laundering and driving to and from and yonder. You’re eating a lot of mac and cheese, because that’s what’s easy to satisfy everyone’s palates. You’re already swimming in diapers and wipes, so no need to buy a bunch of those in preparation. You’ve got every type of hand-me-downs, so the kid is set on clothes. You feel like you want to buy the third kid something new, but you just don’t need anything and you don’t have extra cash really to throw at unnecessary baby items. You also better have your maternity clothes unpacked at 8 weeks, because you’ll need them.

But you know what will be the same every time? You’ll still smile when you feel the baby move in your womb. You will be excited to pick the name, however far along you are. You will know love that you didn’t know you had room for in your heart. You will begin praying for that little being and the rest of his or her life.

mommyhood, pregnancy

Totally Stumped – Terribly Picky Mom Problems

February 18, 2015 Only Hsuman 7 Comments

I am lacking some serious creativity (and dare I say it… motivation?) to name this little guy. I’m surprisingly content to just call him the little guy or little brother. Maybe it’s because I’ve placed too many restrictions on the process… Here are my requirements:

1. I want the name to have a significance besides “it sounds nice”. Either a good origin, family name, good meaning, etc. That being said…

2. I want it to sound nice. I want there to be a nice flow between first to middle, and middle to last, and first to last. I want it to go along (at least a little bit, not like rhyming or anything) with Ella Kate and Joseph. I don’t want to be calling out, “Ella Kate! Joseph! Gunner!” like I’m calling my dog. (I only say that because I know two dogs named Gunner. No hate if your kid’s name is Gunner.)

3. I’m not a huge fan of “alternate spellings”. I know some people are, and I don’t mind them, but I don’t really care for random y’s or x’s thrown in for no reason. Our last name is hard enough to get people to understand, without having a first name with a silent letter or something. No Jaxon or Kaleb or Camryn.

4. I don’t want his first name to be one syllable. I know, I know. But one syllable in the first name AND the last name just sounds choppy.(I’m getting ridiculous, I know.) Jack Hsu. Bob Hsu. You get my point.

5. I don’t want a name with the sound “ooh” in it. Like Jude or Lucas. Lucas Hsu is too much “ooh”.

Alright, that’s all I can think of for now, but don’t be surprised if I come back and edit a few more on here later… Do you have any suggestions for my little guy that follow all my ridiculous rules?

home, mommyhood, pregnancy

Happenings with the Hsumans

February 10, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

First of all, thanks to my readers and friends for the sweet comments here and on Facebook about our newest news that bump #3 is a boy! Everyone seems just as pumped for a little brother as we are!!

Here’s a little life update on the house and bump numero tres…

I’m 16 weeks tomorrow (we go ahead and count it, right?) and I’m feeling awesome! Nesting would be happening if renovations weren’t already making things crazy… however, I’ve been reorganizing things here and there, and a little interior design sure feels like nesting. I’ve been making plans for the kids’ new rooms, their furniture, and what I need for the new baby.

Here’s my dilemma of the hour, so if you have some advice, hit me with it!

When I had J, EK was old enough to move to a big girl bed. So what I did was change over the nursery colors, and move all of EK’s clothes, etc to her “big girl room”. We amped it up big time, and started letting her do everything but sleep in there a couple of months early. Then, when J was born, she spent a couple of weeks really getting used to sleeping in there (J was still in his little Moses basket anywhere we felt like letting him sleep). Then, when he needed to move to the crib, she was already in her new room and big girl bed. Well, J will be too young, I think, to put him in a big guy bed, especially downstairs in his new room, so I think I’ll want to keep him in his crib/a crib.

That seems like no big deal, but I have a few problems. #1: We only have one crib. #2: It’s too big to get through the doorway of his bedroom (to move it downstairs) and it’s a MAJOR pain to dissemble and assemble. #3: Yes, we have a pack ‘n’ play, but it’s in rough shape, and I don’t think it could contain my 30lb son if he wanted to get out.

So there’s my dilemma. Basically, I need a crib to put downstairs in J’s room for a few months, until he’s ready for a bigger bed. He will probably move downstairs sometime between April (when the renovation is done) and July (when the baby comes) and then into a big boy bed in the late fall or early winter. I don’t want to go buy a crib just for 6 months or less, but would love to borrow one or take one off someone’s hands if they’re done with it (or done for 6 months time). I’m trying to work out the time where I need it for the shortest amount of time (without rushing J into a big boy bed), in case we end up borrowing from someone.

And on to other things… current prego status…

Craving PIZZA and Arnold Palmers
Taking less naps (finally)
Working out a little more (weather-dependent)
Getting to the bump stage instead of large dinner stage (no bumpie yet, sorry)
Getting up to pee in the middle of the night (I didn’t miss it)
Not into maternity clothes yet, but wearing mostly leggings and yoga pants for now.
Still really excited to get those Piko shirts that shipped today (I mentioned them here )

Today we’re at my in-laws’ house, because the drywall installation is loud (think power drills x 100) and because they installed the tub, which turned off the water for several hours (think about the potty training toddler and the pregnant lady and see the importance of having the potties). We’ve done several loads of laundry already, and caught up on some paperwork, and decided on preschool plans for next year, so I’d say it was a good, productive day so far.

I’ve got two basically boring pictures of the basement I can put up… and I’m sorry they’re not better. The first one is the laundry room getting insulation, and the other is of the powder room. They were the only two spots that had enough light to see what was going on when I took the pictures. Once the drywall is done and the lights are hooked up, I’ll be taking more and better ones.

You can see the washer/dryer hookup on the right side.

Standing in the mudroom, looking into the powder room.

That’s what’s going on in my world right about now. What’s going on in yours?

mommyhood, pregnancy, siblings

5 Reasons I’m Excited About Having Another….

February 9, 2015 Only Hsuman 12 Comments

Yes, it’s true! The Hsu Crew is adding another bouncing, baby boy to our ranks. And we couldn’t be more excited! We obviously would have been thrilled with a baby girl (especially to reuse some of the adorable clothes EK has grown out of) but we were ecstatic to hear we’ve got another boy to wrangle! That was a little bit of a perk that came along with the genetics test we had to take – it always tells the gender! So here are my reasons I’m excited for another little boy:

1. I’ll have a second chance on bowties. J’s neck got too big for baby bowties almost immediately, and I feel like I lost the whole “newborns-don’t-care-what-they-wear” phase to a fat neck and thighs so big half his pants wouldn’t fit (that’s still happening). I digress.

2. Boys playing – and fighting – together. I’ve basically heard that boys play together really well, and that girls have a lot of drama, and boys just duke it out and it’s over quickly. I’m kinda looking forward to most of the conflicts being resolved quickly.

3. Planes, trains and automobiles. We love cars and trucks and construction vehicles, Legos and blocks, and tool sets. EK does too, so that’s an extra plus. But it’s nice to know that those toys we’ve started to accumulate are going to get a lot more use. (And, my brother was a big Thomas the Tank Engine fan, so we have access to a TON of trains and tracks. Win.)

4. EK can still be the resident princess. My daughter’s diva status will go unchallenged. Right now, we’re trying to look at this like a plus. We are certainly aware that it could turn into a negative thing. We will cross that bridge if we must.

5. Boys love their mamas. Sometimes this can be detrimental (as in, big time mommy attachment, and huge adjustment for my elder son) but usually it’s just plain sweet how much little boys love their mamas.

My little guy, just learning to sit up. Those were the days, am I right?

Do you have a little boy? More than one? Do you agree with my excitement for having two?! Or have anything to add?

pregnancy, random thoughts

6 Old-Fashioned But Classic Names For Girls

February 5, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

After perusing some lists and some family trees, I’ve picked out six favorite names for girls that are old, but still beautiful. Some old names can’t seem to work on younger people, but I feel like these do.

Dorothea/Dorothy
This vintage name is due for a comeback. The meaning just makes me think that more; God’s gift is a sweet name for any girl baby, because they are all sweet gifts.

Evelyn
I think this one is a beauty. It’s long, without being too many letters or difficult to spell, and flows nicely when you speak it aloud – which you just did, as soon as I suggested it. Right?

Hazel
I’ve always loved this one. I’ve got a great-aunt (or that’s what we always said she was to me) with this name, and she’s a sweet memory to attach to it for me. I don’t think it’s too old-sounding or quirky to use now.

Vivien/Vivian
I personally like the spelling with an “e”, a la Vivien Leigh (the actress who portrayed Scarlet O’Hara) but I’ve always loved the beautiful sound of this name. I had a student by the name of Vivian, and she went by Vivi (Vih-vee, not Vee-vee). Not to mention, I like this “V” name more than I like Vera or even Veda.

Edith
Hubby’s grandmother’s first name (that she doesn’t go by) is Edith, as well as one of my mom’s friends from childhood. I’ve always had good connotations with the name, and so I love it even more, now that I’ve had the idea that it can be shortened to Edie. WIN.

Phoebe
I know, it takes a few minutes for those of us who grew up on “Friends” to get Lisa Kudrow out of our minds, but I’m digging Phoebe right now as a cute baby girl’s name. I’ve got a cousin who just named her daughter Phoebe, and already, at less than a year old, the little gal looks like a perfect Phoebe.

What vintage or “old lady” names do you wish would come back around? Do you have one yourself?

faith, mommyhood, pregnancy

A Test of Genes and a Test of Faith

February 4, 2015 Only Hsuman 9 Comments

This has been hard. So effing hard. Pardon my French, but this has sucked in a major way.

Two weeks ago at my ultrasound (I briefly mentioned this here) we did the initial screening for chromosomal disorders. This first screening, for those of you that have never had it – I hadn’t with either of my first two kids – is just a little thing that the ultrasound tech looks at during your first ultrasound, around 12 weeks. So the tech (the same one I’ve had with all my ultrasounds with my other pregnancies) found something (whatever measurement it is that they take) that indicated a “risk” of having an issue, and said that I should have the second screening, which just involved a quick blood draw that day, and I’d get results in a week or so.

That second screening came back (three days later, mid-shower, on a very busy morning, with very little time to process) with a likelihood that the baby has Trisomy 18.

If you (like me) don’t know anything about it or have never heard of it, here’s what the Trisomy 18 foundation says:

Trisomy 18, also known as Edwards syndrome, is a condition which is caused by a error in cell division, known as meiotic disjunction. Trisomy 18 occurs in about 1 out of every 2500 pregnancies in the United States, about 1 in 6000 live births. The numbers of total births increase significantly when stillbirths are factored in that occur in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters of pregnancy.
Unlike Down syndrome, which also is caused by a chromosomal defect, the developmental issues caused by Trisomy 18 are associated with medical complications that are more potentially life-threatening in the early months and years of life. 50% of babies who are carried to term will be stillborn, with baby boys having higher stillbirth rate than baby girls.
Some children will be able to be discharged from the hospital with home nursing support for their families. And although less than 10 percent survive to their first birthdays, some children with Trisomy 18 can enjoy many years of life with their families, reaching milestones and being involved with their community. A small number of adults (usually girls) with Trisomy 18 have and are living into their twenties and thirties, although with significant developmental delays that do not allow them to live independently without assisted caregiving.

Cliff’s notes: This is bad. High risk of miscarriage. High risk of still birth. High risk of infant mortality. Unlikely for my baby to reach his/her childhood years, much less reach the other side of them.

My doctor (aka my hero – read my birth stories!) encouraged me to get a (very expensive but worth it) blood test that would give us 99.9% accurate results as to whether baby has Trisomy 18. So there I was, having taken a test that will tell me for almost certain whether or not I should be worried for the next 6 months, whether or not to even get excited about decorating a nursery and buying a new outfit or two, whether or not I will have just moments with my sweet child or years. How can a woman possibly be expected to hear this news and do anything but stay in bed all day (several days!) and cry?

As you might expect, I’ve been an emotional wreck. I’ve been vacillating between crying and yelling and being silent and praying and pretending I’m fine. I’ve been on an extremely short fuse, what with being cooped up from the cold, cooped up in half our home, and bearing the unbearable weight of possible bad news.

So I’ll spare you the waiting and waiting that I’ve gone through.

My doctor called yesterday late in the afternoon, as I was lying down to nap. When I saw the caller ID, my heart stopped in my chest. I knew it was the moment of truth. My world could either continue turning, or be shattered for the foreseeable future. I’d been waiting for the call, and now I wasn’t sure if I could answer.

But I did… and he (thankfully, prayerfully and PRAISE THE LORD) told me the test came back negative for Trisomy 18 and other chromosomal disorders, and that the baby is normal. THE BABY IS NORMAL! Has anyone ever been so happy to hear about “normal”?! I don’t know. But I sure was ecstatic and overwhelmed and unable to even respond. I just sat and cried on the phone.

The waiting, my friends, is indeed the hardest part. It’s seemed like an entire lifetime I’ve waited to hear these results, barely breathing, much less going on with life, until I knew how to proceed. My thoughts were consumed, I didn’t stop for a moment to pray for anything else, and I just zombied (yeah, it’s a verb) my way through a week and a half of life, waiting to hear whether my family would drastically change in a good way or bad.

So please, rejoice with me, even though I didn’t share the extent of the situation until now. If I kept it from you, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to tell you. It’s because I didn’t know how to say it. The situation has been redeemed, as Jesus has a knack of doing. My fears and anxieties have been put to rest, and I have a peace in my heart that surpasses understanding. Jesus wins, Jesus saves, Jesus heals and Jesus answers prayers. I am so thankful that I had Jesus to turn to.

pregnancy, random thoughts

Six Names for Successful Boys

February 4, 2015 Only Hsuman Leave a comment

Upon reading list after list of “strong boy names”, I noticed a trend. There were lots of names of American icons (former presidents, founding fathers, actors, inventors and heroes in general) that are considered to be names that would let the boy next door grow into a great man. Here are a few of the ones I thought stood out…

William
Yes, it’s a common name, but it’s considered a strong one, and has been held by many famous Americans, such as William Faulkner (author), William Holden (wonderful actor), William Wordsworth (poet), and including four presidents (William “Bill” Clinton, William Howard Taft, William Henry Harrison, and William McKinley).

Charles
Another common name, with a lot of history to it. Famous Americans include Charles Schulz (Peanuts!), Charles Dickens (author), Charles Lindbergh (aviator), Charles Goodyear (inventor) and Charles Houston (civil rights activist)

Benjamin
A Biblical name, but also a strong, male name. Big Bens include Benjamin Franklin (I refuse to explain him on principle), Benjamin Bratt (actor), Benjamin Harrison (president), and Benjamin Guggenheim (businessman, died on the TITANIC!)

Henry
I like this name a lot, and think it’s a classic. American Henrys: Henry Ford (obivously), Henry Winkler (the Fonz actor), Henry David Thoreau (philosopher and poet), William Henry Harrison (some of these presidents really doubled up), and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (poet)

Christopher
Hubby’s middle name, so it’s obviously important, but it’s also a famous one. Famous Christophers: Christopher Reeve (SUPER actor), Chris Paul (one of the only famous basketball players I would know), Christopher Ferguson (astronaut – I’m a nerd), and can we just count Christopher Columbus as an American?

Thomas
A name meaning “twin” obviously gained popularity. We can start by naming the presidents (Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Woodrow Wilson) and move on to include Thomas Edison (inventor), Tom Hanks (actor), Thomas Wolfe (writer, playwright), and Thomas Eakins (artist, sculptor).

What names would you add to the list for the boy next door/future American icon?

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