Tag Archives: Things Toddlers Say

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

2 Comments

Happy Tuesday, y’all! I don’t have too much to preface today’s goodies with, so here they are! Enjoy!


On speaker phone with Hubby and the kids…
Me: And I love you, too, D!
EK: (in her “baby voice”) I love you too, Mommy! (In her regular voice) Aw, that was D!

Anytime J gets on the phone: The young man bit me.
Me: What does that even mean!?

Me: Did you have fun at lunch with Daddy and your brothers? You were the only girl!
EK: I like it better when there are two girls and three boys. (As an aside:) The two girls are you and me, and the boys are Daddy, J, and D.

Me, to D: No, no, no bite.
J: I don’t ujally bite you. I ujally be sweet!

J, melting down: I can’t jump on one feet! Can you teach me?!

Watching Cinderella…
EK: J, look at all that sparkly magic! She’s such a good furry godmother.

At hubby’s cousin’s wedding…
EK: She’s here! The princess bride is here!
Annie: What do you like best about the princess bride?
EK: Her side ponytail.

Heard in the back seat of the car…
EK: Stop in the name, you police officer!

EK: Today is Easter Day!
J: No it’s not! Today is tiger time.

EK, from the kitchen: D is walking! D is walking! (Then we hear a fall, and a cry. Not walking.)

J: I need your chair to be all close to me! (Gets down and pushes me closer to his chair.)

EK is doing this thing where she pretends to be a waitress. She takes our orders, and writes them down (we spell the words with her). I’m ridiculously proud of her 4yo handwriting…

One time when we played the waitress game, she had me take her order and write it down. “What do you want?” I said. She responded, “Black beans with pasta. And wine. I’m pretending to be a grown up!”

Aren’t you proud of her letters, too?!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Hello, and happy Tuesday! I’ve got a few good ones for ya. I spent two and a half days away from the kids this week, taking care of a friend… so it’s possible this one is a little short. But it’s good! I even got some FaceTime hilarity for you. Anyway, happy Tuesday and ENJOY!

 EK, on the phone with my mom…

Necie: Has J been doing well using the potty?
EK: Yes! J has a peanut, he points it down to the floor, and pees in the potty!

EK: There’s a cricket over there!
J: Yeah, we need to get a hammer and shout at it!

EK, at carpool: There’s Miss Angie (her teacher last year)! Before I got in the carpool line, I popped into her Peacocks class and gave her a hug and a kiss!

Learning to BURN…
EK: I want to sit next to Daddy!
Me: You’re across from him, so you can look at him!
EK: But I’m across from J and I don’t want to look at him!
Me: Then close your eyes.
EK: Close your BUTT!
Hubby: *dies laughing*
Me to Hubby: Whose side are you on, anyway?!

J: I got a scratchy booty – I better go potty.

EK at dinner: Can you feed me like a baby?
Me: …..

Me: Your bangs need to be trimmed.
EK: Yeah. They’re longest than Rapunzel.

Eating outside at a restaurant downtown, an acquaintance stops to say hello. When he walks away, EK says, “How about we could invite him to the house to hang out before the kids go to bed? He’s never visited our house before.” Don’t say we don’t have hospitality at our place.

On FaceTime with J, when he doesn’t want to talk to me…
Me: Daddy sent me pictures from this morning (at the children’s museum). Did you have fun?
J: No
Me: Oh, okay.
J: It’s nap time.
Me: Well, I love you!
J: I love you. I’m going to turn off the talking thing now.

Later that day, on FaceTime with EK…
Me: EK, could I say hi to J?
EK: Sure! J! Mommy wants to say hi!
J: Hi, Mommy!
Me: Hi, bud! How are you?
J: Good!
Me: Did you have fun at dinner?
J: Yeah! I’m gonna turn this off now.
Me: Wait! I want to talk to daddy!
J: *tries to cut me off*

Let’s hear what your kids are saying! Are they able to talk on the phone? Or do they just hang up on everyone?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Hey, y’all! We had a lovely week at the beach last week, not completely but fairly unplugged, and so this might be a little short. But still, I would never leave you without the funnies. Have a great Tuesday!

 EK: Okay, you say, “What am I eating?” and I’ll say, “Cucumber and chip.”

Hubby: What?
EK: You say, “What am I eating?”!
Hubby: What are you eating?
EK: Cucumber and chip!
That’s her new game: telling someone (usually J) “You say this, and I’ll say that.”

J: I want to listen to the muskick!

EK during a “dance party”: I’m gonna do my naked girl dance now!

J, stepping on crumbs around the table: Ugh, Mom, I stepped on lunch!
Me: *brain explodes*

J, feeding D some of his dinner: Here comes the airplane! Choo choo choo, nnnnnyeeeeerrrrrr!

When we got home from the beach, we were late for nap time and everyone was exhausted. They went down for late naps, and I had to wake them (for dinner and so they would eventually go to bed). It took several wake up attempts to get everyone up. Then, EK had a 30 minute meltdown that started with D wanting her swaddle, and ended with missing being a baby and how D got all of her stuff (like her high chair). It was exhaustion-induced ridiculousness.

Announcing success to a busy restaurant…
J: I just pee-peed in the potty!

Future cheerleaders….
J: You say, “What the” and I’ll say, “heck!”
EK: What the!
J: Heck?!
EK: What the!
J: Heck?!
And on and on. Told you it was her favorite game.

*Chris Stapleton’s “Tennessee Whiskey” comes on*
J: Mama, you sang this upstairs at church!
Me: Did I?

J: Are we on (our road name) Mom?
Me: Yes we are!
J: Yeah, where our family and friends are!
Me: We’re never moving.

Hogwarts-style punishment…
EK: I broke his wand in half.

EK: Mommy, I told your husband that he made a nice dinner. 

Well, those are the things my kiddos are saying. What silly things do your kids say?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday! We’re on VACAY this week, so this one is a shorty… but I wouldn’t leave ya without some funnies. Enjoy!

Staring out the window during breakfast…
Hubby: What are you looking at, J?
J: The trees and they’re so beautiful.

J, one morning: And then we could have ice cream! But right now we can’t have ice cream.

EK to J: Your peanut looks like a tail! (peanut=penis)

J, singing a song he made up: When a bulldozer goes bye bye…

EK to J: Yeah, Mom can call the police officer and tell them to put the bugs, and crickets, and stink bugs…
J: and crabs and crickets!
EK: yeah and put them into jail. Can you do that mom?

Hubby was on the phone…
J: Dad! DAD! DAAAAAD! Can you, can you, um, get me some, some, some, um, some milk?

J, to Hubby while he was practicing mandolin: Dad, excuse me! I need to talk to you!
Hubby: What’s up?
J: You’re the best and I love you.

EK, handing me a doll: Will you hold the baby?
Me: Sure! (I hold the baby for a minute.)
J: Mom, let me shake that baby for you.
Me: Umm…

J: What’s that red store, mama?
Me: Target!
J: Can I get in there?!

Hubby: EK, this is Holly.
EK: You mean there’s a second Holly in the world?! (Her aunt’s name is Holly, too.)

J, coming down the hallway from the bathroom, crying, pants around his ankles: Moooooom I need help!
Me: What happened?
J, crying: I need new pants!
Me: Did you pee in your pants?
J, wailing now: No, but I got pee on them and it’s on my face!
Me, noticing his hair is wet, and trying not to laugh: How did you pee on your face?
J: I thought it was pointing down! (Cries more.)
Me: (LOSING IT BIG TIME)

J: MomDad (said as one word), can I put on my trunks and get in that hotbathtub? (Also one word, meaning hot tub.)

Hope you enjoyed! What silly things are your kids saying these days?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! I hope y’all had a wonderful holiday weekend, and hopefully a restful day yesterday. Since we had just gotten back in town from Georgia, we stayed in town for the weekend, celebrated a friend’s birthday, got together with our small group, and hung out with family. Here are a few of our funnies from the past week – enjoy!

While building with blocks with Necie…
EK: How’s that?
Necie: Great! You could be an architect one day!
EK: But I want to be a mommy when I grow up!
Me: You can be both!
EK: Both!?! I can be a Mommytect!
Me: Yes. Yes you can.

J has been using the potty a lot recently, and we decided when he started talking about his body, we’d just use the word penis, instead of coming up with a nickname or baby talk. I didn’t regret it, until the bigs were in a name-calling match in the back seat of the car, and I heard him say, “Well you’re a PENIS!” He only good thing is that it meant nothing to her, not having one herself. He also uses the word “peanuts” instead of penis occasionally.

Smoothie=soomie, snoothie, or smovie, depending on who you ask.

Hubby and I were trying to talk to my aunt. We were interrupted three times by J yelling our names, in turn, and asking, “What’d you have for breakfast?”

J yelling from the back of the car: Mom! Excuse me! MOM! EX. CUSE. ME!

EK, pointing out the car window: Look at those bozozers! (Bulldozers)

Apparently trying to imitate me…
EK: J! D! J! D! Whatever your name is!

EK: Can you come downstairs with me?
Me: Sure! What’s down there?
EK: I’m gonna show you (*twirls*) the new clean living room I’ve been working on!

J: I can’t remember EK’s name.
EK: *sighs*says her name*

Words of wisdom…
J, holding a veggie straw over a bowl of salsa: I don’t wanna put my veggie straw in theeeeeeere…
EK: Well, just don’t do it.
J: Okay.
Me: THANK YOU!

J: Mom! Brownie is just like poopy!

EK: Mom, um, excuse me. It’s EK trying to talk to you. 

Well, what have your kids been saying recently?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Hello again, Tuesday! I hope y’all are ready for some funnies to keep your week’s momentum up! Here they are!


Flattery will get you everywhere…
EK, while we were driving to a friend’s house: Daddy, you’re the master driver to tell me how long until we get there.

J pooped in his tiny potty finally: Mom! There’s a huge snake poop in there!

When J peed on the potty…
J: There’s the muchest pee I ever saw!
EK: Wow! That’s so great! I love you!

Just like a man, he carried the potty to where he could go while he watched TV.

EK wearing these pajamas…EK: After J pees on his potty, I’ll give him an ice cream from my… (Pointing at her knee, unable to think of the word…)
J: Pants?
EK: Yeah. Pants!

EK to me: Can we take a selfie? Wait! Let’s do chitchat! (She means Snapchat.)

EK: I want to be a doctor, and I can’t find my eperscope (stethoscope) OR my Doc McStuffins dress!
Me: *facepalm*

J: When we get to Annie’s grocery store, I want some ice cream and… um… and see… *trails off*

EK, after a big meal, pulls her dress up: Hey! Watch my belly pop!

During a game of pretend, while banging a toy pan…
J, to EK: Wake up! It’s morning time, schweetie!

Sharing tips over breakfast…
EK: J, take your blueberries and dip them in your syrup… (whispers) because it makes them taste like syrup!

J: When I get big, I will be the cook, and make you lunch, and you will like it! (Man after my own heart.)

EK, pointing at a girl in the Carter’s catalog: Wow. She is super. duper. cute.

Well that’s it for today. What are your kids talking about these days?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! I hope you’ve all been successful in your back-to-school shopping, and getting some late summer relaxation in before the fall starts with a bang! Here are a few of our favorite funny sayings from this week. There are some pretty weird one-liners at the end, so read the whole way through! Enjoy!! 

 EK: When I was outside, by myself, picking up mushrooms out of the dirt, I heard a horse say, “Neeeeeeeigh!” I don’t like it when horses is loud. Sometimes they wake me up at night.
(The only redeeming quality of this statement is that there are actually horses in our neighborhood.)

J comes crying up the stairs, and Hubby can’t get him to calmly say what’s wrong. He’s crying about his lamp and a trash can. Hubby gets him calm and in bed, and goes to EK’s room.
Hubby: Why was J crying?
EK: Well, he turned on his monsters lamp. (It’s a Monsters, Inc. lamp.)
Hubby: What happened then?
EK: Well, I told him if he didn’t turn it off I would throw it in the trash can.
Hubby: Well that made him very upset.
EK: Yeah…

Heard from a friend at church when she was with J….
J: When I get bigger, I’ll be a man who cooks only apples.
Friend: Okay… whatever you say!

J, in the car: When we get home, I want water in a cup and to watch TV.
Me: You know what I want to watch? Volleyball!
EK: I totally told you!

J, all the time now: Let’s play wolleyball! Mom! Can you play wolleyball with me?!

EK, upon first seeing/hearing about water balloons: What are they?
Me: It might be easier just to show you.
EK: But what are they?
Me: I’m going to have them ready in just a second.
EK: But what are they?
Me: Give me a minute.
EK: But what are they?
Me: …..!!!!

J, above: Is this a castle head, mama?
Me: Yeah, I guess it does look like that!


J, above: Look, mama! We’re chefs!
Me: ….uh….

Me: It’s almost nap time.
J: Is it firty?
Me: It’s 1:55.
J: I don’t know that letter.
Me: It’s actually a number. It means five minutes until nap time.
J: A nummer? Can we make food then?
Me: Um. After nap..?

And now for some random but hilarious one-liners…

J, to EK: My mama’s gonna put my shirt on, then I’m gonna tell you a secret!

EK, looking at the sky: Aww! That sunset gon’ make me cry!

J, at bedtime: Go to bed, Mama. I’ll stay right here.

J, at 6:50am: Can we play water balloons?

EK, pointing at the baby: Mom! D has a brow! He looks like a pirate!

J, unprompted: Mom, I wish my donkeys would come.

EK, showing me something (?) on her Leap Pad: You’ve got to eat a snack, like apples on an airplane.

Well, I hope you enjoyed those tidbits of what life is like around here. What do your kids say that’s just too crazy?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, y’all! I haven’t had a chance to get this one up until now, so happy afternoon! We’ve had a funny week with the kiddos, so here are the highlights!

Hubby is trying to talk to his dad…
J: Daddy! Stop talking and close your eyes!

EK, looking at above picture: Okay- that’s pretty cute.

J: He stole it!
Me, to D: Can you give that back to J?
(D puts it in his hand for a split second, then snatches it back.)
J: He don’t wants tooooooo! (Dissolves into tears as I laugh at the irony.)

J: Look at I found! (Any time he wants to show anyone anything.)

J, when asked why he wasn’t taking his nap: I got a bad poop! (And starts taking his diaper off.)

One night after bedtime, I found EK at the top of the stairs about 45 minutes after I’d left her in the bed. I asked, “How long have you been here?!” She sighed a teenagery sigh and answered, “Five hours.”

J called this my “Cinderella glass”:

EK, as picture below: But I don’t have the same costume as them!

EK: But I want dinner!
Me: You remember the avocado and carrots and oranges? That was dinner.
EK: But I want something cooked in a pan!
Me: …….

Me: Would you like to hang out with our friends tomorrow?
EK: I wanted to go to the mall tomorrow.

J: Daddy, I love you. So do you have a baby in your tummy?

Listening to Jesus Loves Me…
EK: What’s this song? (She definitely knows it.)
J: The Bible of the book. From summer camp.

EK, after VBS: We went to the playground today, and I kick-ed dirt.

We’ve been putting conditioner in EK’s hair to help it get longer, and she’s now obsessed with how soft her hair is. Then this happened…
EK: Daddy! Look how soft my hair is! (And she did a little flip of her hair with her hand.)
J, running up: Mommy! Look how soft my hair is! (And he starts rubbing his hair with both hands, a la an Herbal Essence commercial.)
EK: Yeah, it’s because we condition it. (Like it had all been her idea.)

J’s newest word confusion: Choke and joke. Usually, it’s that he’s trying to say joke but says choke instead, and it’s a hilarious mix-up.

When we ask the kids to “Say cheese!” for a photo…
EK, nicely: Cheese!
J, screaming as loud as he can: CHEEEEEEEESE!
D, smiling: Shhhhh!

Well that’s it for today! What are you kids saying that’s silly?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, folks! It’s a lovely day for some funnies, and I’m posting from Lake Norman, so without further ado, here they are!

EK: A monster got Miss ‘Tona! (J’s teacher)

J: We gotta find her and hug her and take her away from the monster!

J, when farted next to: You tooted on my nose and that was not nice!

EK comes upstairs and gets in our bed…
Me: What do you need, babe?
EK: A snuggle.
A minute passes.
Hubby: Did you get in our bed and immediately toot?
EK: *giggling*
Me: Gross. You gotta go.
EK: *screws up her face*farts again*
Me: You’re like a man! Go! Daddy is gonna sleep in YOUR bed.
EK: *giggles*farts*
Hubby: Okay. Stop flexing your abs. Get out.
EK: Can you walk with me?
Hubby: Nope. You got up here just fine.

J, on morning breath: It smells like dogs out here.

EK: When you grow up, you’ll be a daddy.
J: Yeah. I’ll be a daddy and take daddy medicine!

EK, pretending: I’m going to a party!
J: I wanna come to the party!
EK: You can! There’s going to be sweet ladies there.

I was walking the other day through a parking lot with just the bigs, holding one hand on either side of me. We came to the curb, and without me even pausing or knowing what was happening, EK counted, “1, 2, 3!” and they jumped off at the same time. It was as if they’d been practicing for that moment.

EK, to me: Even if you’re just wearing pants and a shirt, you still look like a princess.

EK: Every time we pass (our friend’s) house, their cars aren’t there. I guess I’m right. They’re going to a different house. It’s five ounces away.

100x a day…
J: Can we watch Speakle Me? (Despicable Me)

Leaving the pool:
EK: My knees is hurting!
Me: Why is that?
EK: Because I swam so faster. And that’s the way Jesus made me.
Me: Well, I guess you’re right.

J: Mama! El’ K! Do you wanna snuggle under my Batman blanket?!
Me: 😍

J, watching The Sorcerer’s Stone and seeing Hedwig in her cage: Mom! That baby bird is in jail!

A few minutes later…
J: Mama! This is my favorite movie I ever saw!
Me: You’re my favorite child.

Also during the movie…
J: Mom! A talking hat!
J: Bibbidi, bobbidi, boo!
EK: I think that hat is being rude.
J: I like it, mom!
J: Mom! That talking hat says, “Gryffinoooooooo!”
J: They’re eating food, Mom! Look at all those peoples eating food!

J, on his favorite restaurant: I want to go to Chickalay. I will eat all my chicken and all my French fries, and ride the yellow slide!

Me: I can’t find my duffel bag…
J (no lie): Your duckel fag?

EK: I can’t wait to get smushies! (Slushies)

J, doing anything remotely acrobatic, like climbing on a stool: Look how strong I am!

Well, there they are: the sillies of the week. What are your kids’ sillies right now?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

2 Comments

Hello and happy Tuesday! After a fun (and admittedly emotional) weekend of the tiniest member of our family turning ONE, I’m ready for some humor! Hope you enjoy these funnies!

EK on public toilets: These aren’t so loud as blenders.

Me: Let’s get you some shorts, buddy.
J: I don’t want some shorts. I’ve got some legs.

EK approaches J to apologize for biting him (I know- it was a whole thing).
J: I’m sorry you bited me on the arm. Can you give me a hug and a kiss now?
EK, turning to Hubby: Did you hear that?
Hubby: I did. Why don’t you do that?
EK: I’m sorry, J. (Gives him a hug.)

EK has a gown with a bunch of female superheroes on it. She came upstairs after getting ready for bed while we had friends over…
EK to the room at large: There’s no boys in my nightgown. (Not a typo.)
Sam: Keep it that way.

J, all day long: Can you say, “Yes I can have some candy?”
Me: *giant eye roll*

J, picking up a phone: Hello, Lucy. It’s Gru.

EK singing “Jesus Loves Me”
J: Stop singing, EK!
Me: It’s okay if EK is singing.
J: (Sigh!) It’s okay if you sing the Bible, EK.

This very concerned helper…J: Mom! I’m fixing Diesel! (Because that plastic wrench is actually going to help whatever the problem is.)

EK: I don’t like ranch (dressing).
J: I do!

My friend sent me this gem. They were on a chair lift at a theme park…
S: Look how high we are! It looks like we’re a hundred years old!

While EK was with her grandmother…
EK sees the picture of herself as a baby, in a bikini at the beach.
EK exclaims: Oh how cute!
Annie: Do you know who it is?
EK: No.
Annie: It’s you!
EK puts her hand to her chest and says: Oh… that makes me so happy – I am going to cry!

J has had several booboos recently, and calls Band-Aids “ban-dangs”. I die every time.

So what are your kiddos talking about? Any hilarious mispronunciations?