Tag Archives: Things Toddlers Say

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! I’ve had a nice, relaxing week or two of not writing much, and not writing down every single funny thing that happens at our house, but here are a few good ones! Hope you have a lovely, funny Tuesday! 

J, as we first see the lake from the car: I’m sooooooo excited!
J: Can I have muches juice pweese?

After an afternoon of pulling D off the stairs…
J: No no, rascal. You gotta come down. You can’t go up the stairs.

EK, unprompted: Can we let J wear panties now?
Me: Not yet, babe. But we’re trying.

While this was happening:


J: I wuf you.
EK, turns around: He says he loves me!

I hand J a small apple…
J: Is this a peach, mom?
Me: No, it’s just a small apple.
J: Is it a peach apple?
Me: No, just an apple.
J: I like peach apples, mom!
Me: Okay, bud.

Me: I love you a lot.
EK: I love you way more than a balloon string.

Driving on a road near some train tracks, and I hear EK really crying from the backseat…
Me: What’s wrong?
EK: I wanted to look at the train tracks but J said I can’t! (More wailing.)
Me: He can’t make you not look out the window, babe.
EK: I see them! I see the train tracks!

J, very thoughtfully: Mama, sometimes is a long time.

EK: I just pooped, and I didn’t wipe so well. Some poopy got on my leg. 

J, in the same breath: You’re a sweet little mommy. You’re a sweet little rabbit.

Side section: Words that J now uses correctly, even if he can’t pronounce them:
Patient
Fragile

Well, that’s what’s getting shouted and said around our house. What are the kids in your life talking about?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! I hope y’all had lovely celebrations yesterday, and enjoyed some great fireworks like we did! Here are some funnies from our past week… Enjoy!

J: If I go fast on my bike, the police will come get me!
Me: No they won’t; I’ll protect you.
J: Okay! *speeds away*

Me: If you eat your dinner, we’ll have some ice cream!
J: Ice cream!!
EK: Yay! I want my favoritest ice cream I never had!

J: Can I have some juice?
Me: Have you already had some juice this morning?
J: Yeah.
Me: Then I’ll go fix you a little bit.
J: I don’t want a tiny, little juice! I want a bigger juice! Like Batman!

J: *pushes D* A ship!
Annie: Don’t push your brother!
J: Okay. A ship!
Annie: Say sorry to your brother.
J: Sorry. A ship!

EK: I want to be an adult. I was one, and two, and three, and four. And now I want to be an adult.

J: Look, Mommy! It’s my clouds!
Me: Yeah, those are beautiful clouds!
J: God made those clouds just for me!
Me: *crying* He sure did, babe.

J: Can I have some candy?
Me: How about a few jelly beans?
J: Okay!
Me: *put 5 jelly beans on the couch* Okay, they’re right here on the couch!
J: I don’t want them on the couch!
Me: Okay, then put them in your mouth.
J: But I don’t want those jelly beans!
Me: You don’t have to eat them. I’ll do it.
J: But I want the jelly beans!
Me: *face palm*

The family making lunch together…
EK: Are those for me?!
Hubby: Yep. But why don’t you go ahead to the table?
EK: But I want just one!
Hubby: First, have a seat…
EK: I gotta poop! *runs away*

J: My water’s gone!
Me: Did you drink it?
J: Yeah. No! Spilled!

EK: I’m texting my boyfriend.
Me: Oh yeah? Who’s that?
EK: Alan.
Me: Alan who?
EK: He’s from Raleigh. He says yesterday he went to the doctor’s office and got a shot and a band-aid.

Overheard during playtime…
EK: You’re a swimming people.
J: I’m NOT a swimming people!

J: Daddy, can I have some of those?
Hubby: Can you fix J some pickles?
Me: Sure! How many pickles do you want?
J: All da preckles!

I missed the front end of this convo, but…
EK: Yes you are!
J: Yes I am NOT!
EK: Yes you ARE!
J: Yes I AM NOT!!

Sitting at dinner…
EK: Holly, you’re looking right at me!
Holly: Do you know what that’s called, when you’re sitting there and I’m here? It’s a cross!
EK: I know a cross, that’s where Jesus died! My teacher taught me. At nap time, I went poop and prayed to Him.

Watching the Open…
Hubby: Do you wanna learn how to play tennis?
EK: I already know how. All you need is a tennis ball, a tennis thing (swinging her hand like a racket), and tennis clothes!

What have your kids been saying that’s hilarious?

Things Toddlers Say

What day is it?! TUESDAY!

What do we want?! THE FUNNIES!

Here they are, just like always! Enjoy!

Hubby told me J was reading books and playing with trains instead of napping. When he woke up, he told me: Daddy said, “NO MORE BOOKS!”

EK, during dinner: Oh! My panties is stretching me!

In the car, headed to the mountains…
Me: I see mountains!
EK: I see steam from dragons!

J, holding a bunch of grapes on the stem: Look, Mommy! It’s like a tree! Like a broccoli!

We stayed with some family for a night last week, and had a wonderful time. EK immediately took to Hubby’s aunt, and to her (adult) daughter. She called Debbie “Deedee” almost exclusively, and kept asking what “that girl’s” name was. It was Parker, but she just couldn’t wrap her head around it.

We hiked for a bit while in the mountains, and happended upon some wild flowers. EK said, “Mom! A secret garden!”

This family also had a dog, Eevie. Still very much a puppy, she thought J was a toy, the way he kept screaming and running around. They were fast friends even though every time J ran away, she chased him a little too quickly. There were many cries of, “She lick-ed me!” and “She is too fast!”

Ginna: What’s your name?
J: Joseph.
Ginna: What’s your last name?
J: Joe Joe.


Here is Edith, from Despicable Me, filing her nails like a teenager.

Hubby: Time for bed!
EK: Can you carry me?
Hubby: It’s not far; you can walk.
EK: (army crawls to her room)

On the way to the farmers’ market…
EK: I bet Mark (our farmer friend) will be at the farmers’ market!
Me: I bet you’re right! (We usually do see him there.)
EK: He prolly will be but I bet he won’t.
Hubby: Strong logic.

At Fathers Day lunch…
Me: Let’s all say one thing we love about Daddy since its Father’s Day!
EK: One thing we love about Daddy since its Father’s Day!
Me: Um, I’ll start. I love Daddy and I think he’s handsome!
EK: I love him because he cooks and he’s good about taking me on dates!
J: I love Daddy tocause I love him!
EK: And when it’s brothers day, I will say, “Happy brothers day, J! I love you!”

After interrupting me several times…
EK: Now that you’ve finished your sentence, I’ll let you borrow my ring!

Hope you enjoyed our antics! What are you kiddos talking about?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! I have a few sillies for you this week! Hope you enjoy!


EK: I need to tell you stumping. Come wif me.

EK: Are we having dumplings for dinner?
Hubby: Yep!
EK: I don’t have time for dumplings. I have time for sushi, for lettuce, or cucumber…

Housekeeping fail…
J: Mommyyyyy! There’s ants! They’re trying to get my noodles! (That he had spilled at lunch. Oops.)

Me: Babe, what time is it?
Hubby: (doesn’t hear me)
J: I fink it’s six zero.

EK: I’m Queen Elsa!
J: I’m Queen Batman.
Me: Oh yes you are.

This one time, I was talking to Hubby and used “stupid” in a sentence.
EK: Stupid is not a good word.
Me: You’re right, babe.
EK: You could use another word instead. Like, sweet.
Me: Well, those are not really words that mean the same thing.
EK: Then you could use other words. Like house. Or train, turtle, or truck!
Me: Well… Alliteration!

J, coming in my room in the morning: Are you a sleepy little guy, Mommy?

J, dragging a spaghetti noodle across the table: Choo Choo! Spaghetti train to my mouth!

My big kids still like to drink warm milk out of sippy cups at their naps. EK has been drinking less and less, which is totally fine. But now, she wants to look at the side of the cup, and tell me the number to which she’d like her milk to go (aka how many ounces). The other day, she pitched a total fit because she’d asked for two, and it was at three. Then, after crying, she drank it all and came upstairs and asked for nine (she hasn’t finished nine ounces in months). I told her that would be too much, so we settled for five. She’s becoming quite the diva.

A couple of funnies from EK’s weekend away that were passed along to me…
EK: I sure do wish that sun would have come with us on the boat.
Laura: I think it did. Look up there.
EK: Well, look at that!

EK: Laura, I think I’d prefer to eat this brownie on your lap.

After EK’s weekend at the lake…
Hubby: I missed you!
EK: I miss-ed (both syllables pronounced) you too! I’m so glad to be back in North Carolina! (She had never left the state.)
Hubby: You mean back home?
EK: Yeah. Back home, in my house, with my parents.

EK sings this song: Jesus, Jesus! Jesus in the morning! Jesus in the noon time! Jesus, Jesus! Jesus when the sun goes down!
J responds: No! Sun comes up! Jesus when da sun comes up!

J had a playdate with his friend A yesterday, and they were so cute. They had a nice mixture of sharing well and arguing over stuff. At the end, A said: And we are friends! I just thought it was adorable.

New random word choice: instead of “a little bit”, EK and J are using the word “tiny”. Examples: I’m tiny hot. And: I’m tiny thirsty. Also, J asked me to sing the “tiny ABC’s”, and he meant in a squeaky, high-pitched voice.

Do your kids have any strangely placed words? Or words they use incorrectly?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everybody! It’s been warm and lovely here in NC – you know, when it isn’t raining – and we’ve been enjoying outdoor time as much as we can! We’ve had a nice time with family and friends, and we are gearing up for a great last couple of weeks of school. Here are a few funnies from this week!!

So I do this thing when we are all getting ready to leave where I put the kids in the car, crank it up, and then get my last few things together while they’re already tied down. The other morning, this happened:
EK, as in strapping her in: Wait! I forgot my juice!
Me: I’ll get it while I’m inside.
(I go back in the house to grab my stuff, and EK proceeds to scream her head off, yelling “Mommy!” about 20 times at the top of her lungs. When I got back…)
Me: Why in the world were you screaming?!
EK: I forgot my juice!
Me: You already told me, and I told you I’d get it. The neighbors don’t want to hear your screaming about something you already told me.
EK: Sorry I was screaming. Our strawberries would be scared. Our neighbors don’t want to hear that.

Me, creeping up on J: Boo!
J: Mom! Don’t scare me! You’re like a cricket!
Bugs clearly scare him.

Here’s a gem form my friend Ginna…
E: Mom! Shh. Listen!
(Toot.)
G: Did you just toot?
E: Yeah! (Giggle) Wasn’t it beautiful?

Hubby: I love you.
J, huffing and puffing like a teenager: I love YOU. I just TOLD you.

Hubby and I were talking about the location of our modem…
EK: Where’s the motor shelf?

Randomly, EK: I was a blue dog when I was a dog.

EK: What road is this? (Yes, we’re still doing that.)
Me: Archer.
EK: Oh! Like my friend and cousin Archer?

EK: Oh badda. (Instead of “of bother”.) That’s what Winnie the Pooh says when he has a problem!

After Hubby shaved his head…
EK: My daddy’s hair is so little!

I caught this the other night…

He was jabbering away on the “phone” while driving his trike around the basement. You know. Just regular stuff. He also has been using the garlic press as a phone… since that makes sense.

EK got out of bed last night saying she needed pancakes for breakfast. This isn’t unusual, but this time it was specifically asking for Daddy and Mommy to make special banana pancakes. At 9:37pm. IF YOU GET UP AGAIN THERE WILL BE NO PANCAKES. 

Well, that’s it for this week! What are your kiddos talking about?

Things Toddlers Say

Short intro today, folks, because we are in DisneyWorld! So happy Tuesday and we will catch you up later! 

EK’s birthday prayer: Dear Jesus, thank you for my birthday. And I love you. And thank you for my presents. I’m sooooo glad it’s my birthday. Love you, Jesus. Amen.

EK got this awesome art set from my MIL:

 When she looked at the pencil sharpener, she said, “Oh, that’s what tells you what time it is.”

EK: Could you get the crumb out of my nose? Verrrrrry carefully.
A booger. It was a booger.

EK: Hey mom! You know what kind of monster I saw that was a person?! It was a BEAR!
Me: …

EK, looking at Sully from Monsters, Inc: Mom! It’s my daddy!
He went as Sully for Halloween one year that EK shouldn’t even remember.

EK: When I’m grown up, I will be just like you! I’ll wear special chappicks (Chapstick) and have wiiiiiinnnnnne.

EK refuses to call Arlo (the main dinosaur in The Good Dinosaur) anything but “she”. I’m pretty sure it’s a boy but she just refers to Arlo as a girl when she talks about it.

In the car on the way to the airport…
J: Where’s my Davis?
Me: Oh, look at the sunrise! Do you see how the sky is pink?
EK: Pink is my favorite color!
EK: Look! It’s the airplaneport!
EK took this from the plane:

We will have a talented photographer on our hands. Anyway, see ya when we are home!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! This past week, we traveled, made it home, and had a whirlwind of a weekend. This week is likely to be more of the same craziness. No matter how many times I think I don’t quite have enough for an entire post, those kids deliver, even when I feel like I’ve barely seen them. Anyway, here are the top funnies from our family this week- enjoy!

Me: Say cheese, Joe!
J: Cheese, Joe!

Shouting at EK…
J: SHUT your door and close your TEETH!

EK: When I wake up from my naps, I always fart!
No explanation needed.

EK: After bath I want to be a princess!
Hubby: After your bath you can put on pjs and be a princess in your heart.
EK: No! I want to be a princess with a dress on her back!

J, when Hubby walks into a room: Daddioooooo!

EK: Look, Mom! It’s my little teeny, little baby girl! (Shows me a doll.)
Me: Did you know that you’re my little teeny, little baby girl?
EK: Yeah. And when I was a baby, I went like this! (Pretends to be asleep.) And then when I got a shot, I went like this! (Cries really strangely, trying to sound like a baby.) And then you gave me a bottle, and I slowed down.
Me: Yes, you’re right. So, tell me about your baby.
EK: She is three. And after she is three, she will be five.
Me: Oh, that’s interesting…
EK: Yeah, and then four! And then one! And then thirty-five!
Me: Now that is very strange.
EK: Yeah! (Dissolves into giggles.)

The other day I heard J pounding the wall with something… 
As you might imagine, I wasn’t happy that it was the plug for the electric skillet.

Right before we went to see my family in GA, I came upon these things…
EK told met hay she had made “roll ups” for every member of my family (naming them all) and they were presents. I think at some point she had heard about tissue paper flowers, and downgraded to toilet paper roll ups. But her heart was in it.

I found this: 
I don’t have to explain why this pen is crushed.

J has been telling me that he turned his “sheem” off in the mornings. It’s taken me several days in a row to figure out he’s talking about his sound machine, because I recently gave him the special task of turning it off when he woke up.

Listening to “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” (from Toy Story, which my kids have seen several times)…
J: This is a cool song, Mom!
As if he’d never heard it before.

Well, that’s about it for the week. What are your kids talking about?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks! I won’t lie – on Sunday, I was a little worried that I had nothing (literally nothing) to put in this post. It was a very busy week of me not being with the kids as much as usual (between work and play, there was lots of childcare involved) so I was worried I hadn’t spent enough time hearing what they’d said to fill a post up. But alas, any time I worry about that, they always amaze me with the ridiculousness that comes out of their mouths. So here it is, this week’s humor! 

 I came into EK’s room and saw this: 
It’s basically a bunch of leaves/weeds/buds off a tree in our yard that she at some point brought inside. And then sorta ground into the carpet. It’s even a little funnier because of the toy vacuum sitting next to it like she’d tried to clean it up with that.

There’s a good close up so you know how tiny the pieces were. The only way she explained it to me was that she was having “a really fancy tea party”. Apparently that required natural decorations in the form of pollen. Obviously I made her clean it up. With the REAL vacuum.

Some friends came to pick me up to go to an out of town wedding, and EK shared with them this memory: One time, I came up the stairs when I was supposed to be in bed, and you saw me sand you said, “Hey!” Did you remember that?

J, any time I give him anything or put a piece of clothing/shoe on him: This is El’ Kate’s! (It must stem from her telling him all day long, “Hey! That’s mine!”) I have to reassure him that some things belong to just him.

The other night, EK and J spent the whole dinnertime shouting the word “tattoo” and giggling. I guess it sounded funny to them. (Addendum: they were very tired.)

Hubby has just this week been showing the kids Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and EK keeps singing the “Won’t you be my neighbor?” song. I hadn’t watched it, and thought somehow she had been seeing Mister Rogers. Then I cried because I missed him and cried because Daniel Tiger totally ripped him off.

  
These snowballs have been relabeled “core memories”. Word is still out on whether they are joyful, sad, etc. (This is funnier if you’ve seen Inside Out.)

J: I want some space! I want some space!
Me: What, buddy?
J: I want some space!
Me, realizing he’s pointing to a deck of cards: Oh! You want to play spades.
I guess we do play a lot of spades.

Overheard from the other room…

EK: He tried to chew on my dress!

J is obsessed with two things right now: spiders and “stupid bugs”. Every dark speck or piece of lint anywhere is automatically either a spider or a “stupid bug”. One morning, he kept talking about a fly (which was a new one) and I assumed he meant the fruit flies we always have this time of year with the windows open a lot. I told him to get it and smash it, which overjoyed him. I figured he wouldn’t be able to, and if he did, well, that’s one less fly and we’d wash his hands. He came back with a dead stink bug on the back of a book he’d smashed it with. I was equal parts impressed and grossed out. We had a little teachable moment on stink bugs, how they smell really bad and we don’t touch them. Now, he’s obsessed with “stupid stink bugs”. At least he learned their proper name?

J: I see a bug on the table!

EK: It’s okay, honey. There are no flies or bugs on the table. 

And just because I never post on this post about D, here’s a little funny. He is OBSESSED with the vacuum. He probably thinks it’s the coolest toy ever, because Mommy uses it every single day.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a bit short this week (I spent the better part of two days not hanging out with anyone much since I had the stomach bug) but still good! Hope your enjoy the funny things my kids are saying!


EK was so excited to get my attention and show me this “delicious ballet”. I think she may have meant “delicious display”. Still unsure.    

Eating homemade paella…
J: This is chicken and rice!
EK: No it’s paella!
J: Pallela?!

Bedtime stalling on a new level…
EK: I saw a spider in my room!
(10 minute rant from Hubby about how spiders are good, not scary, and they eat other bugs that we don’t like.)
EK comes back: I saw a spider in my room! He was eating a cracker!
Me: *face palm*

J’s new favorite thing to talk about: his scrape. He fell in the parking lot on the way into church one day, and Hubby introduced him to the word “scrape”. He is now obsessed with it, and it sounds a lot like “grape”. He is also very concerned with getting kisses to make it feel better… from everyone. I don’t know what he’ll talk about when his hand heals.

Preparing for  our walk the other day, the mailman happened to be at our mailbox when we walked out the door…
EK: Mom! Look at that email man! (Chuckling)
A minute later when we walked by the mailbox…
EK: Mom! You didn’t check your email!

My mom called D a “drool bucket”. I don’t even think EK was in the room at the time. But I hear her, hours later, singing a song to the tune of “Are You Sleeping?” about “Drool Bucket Davis”.

Sitting at dinner, J reaches his hand toward me and says, “I can’t reach you! I need to reach you!” When I leaned over to him, he gently touched my face, then put his arm around my neck. Oh wow, am I in for it.

EK: Necie! Have you noticed that the dentist lady brought me a new toothbrush?!
That happened weeks ago. And she doesn’t even use that one.

So let’s hear it: what’s the funniest thing your kids have said recently?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Aaaand that’s enough chat for me this morning! Here goes nothin’… 

For the record, I came downstairs and this was already happening.
 J, arms wide: Jump me! (He means “Catch me.”)

EK spent one whole morning singing about “sinner ash”. I’m still unsure what she actually meant.

J, running around: I’m crunchy! I’m crunchy! (He was pretending to be a shark.)

In other news, no one would own up to standing Buzz up on their dinner date.

One morning while we were having breakfast, EK asked me to take a selfie of her and me. After I did, J ended up with my phone, and then this happened… 

It was the cutest thing, watching him discover it was him he could see on there, playing a little peekaboo with himself, and trying to show everyone else he was on there. Adorable.

During playtime together, EK likes to order J around. This might include putting him in time out, having him make dinner, “saving” the baby from him, telling him he can’t have juice, or pretending he is anyone but who he is.

EK: Josie’s hands are bigger than my hands.
Me: Okay…

Me: I’m making strawberry pancakes for breakfast!
EK: I don’t like strawberry pancakes. Unless they’re good. Then I might eat them.

Andrea: Who are you gonna marry?
EK: Nobody! Just myself!

After hearing me talk about going to T.J. Maxx…
EK: Mom, can I go to tea bags max with you?
Me: ……

J: I can’t find my chicken!
Me: Your chicken is in the sauce.
J: But I can’t find it!
EK: But you like chicken in sauce!

EK, discussing foods she likes: and you know what else I like to eat?!
Me: What?
EK: Baby Davis! Chomp! I ate him!
I think we’ve nom nom nommed the baby too many times.

What are you kiddos saying these days? Anyone else like to chomp the baby?