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mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! Our week has been full of visits from the grandparents and football! Here are some funnies from my big kids.

EK, entering the kitchen: Something smells delicious in here! (It was Caesar salad, and she ate a ton of it. Because she isn’t your normal threenager.)

J is constantly going up to D and wiping his face saying, “Da baby spit! Da baby spit!”

J came upstairs with the exercise ball…and I said, “Wow! That’s impressive! How did you get that up the stairs?”
J: Cause I got balls!
There was obviously no response for that.

EK: I like the beast better than Belle.
She’s got a thing for bad boys.

Apparently “peanut butter and jelly sandwich” is very difficult to say:
EK: Pinit butter and jally shammick
J: Shammich butterrrrrrr

J and I had a sweet minute the other day where we were the only ones awake, and we did a craft. While we sat at the kitchen table, an airplane (or helicopter) flew overhead. J then launched an argument – with himself – over whether it was an airplane or helicopter. This lasted for several minutes.

EK, eating chips and salsa: I need a water to slow me down!

EK runs up and shows me this:and says, “Look, Mom! It’s a picture of me and my booger! I’m pretty funny.”

The other morning at breakfast, EK had a five minute long concerned rant about why Cinderella didn’t eat breakfast. Apparently she had noticed that she fed all the animals breakfast, and took breakfast trays to her step-mother and step-sisters, but never ate anything herself.

EK: Look, Mom! I took it to-part! (Instead of apart.)

I was eating fried zucchini sticks with ranch…
EK: Can I have one?
Me: Sure! (Hand her one)
EK: (frowning and sputtering) Ugh!
Me: What’s wrong?
EK: I want a different one with no ranch.
Me: But I thought you liked ranch?
EK: I only like it on my salad.
Definitely not my child.

J’s current misnomers:
Beads=beans
Popcorn=hopcorn
Thank you=thank whew

Did anyone else notice a definite food trend this week? What are your toddlers talking about?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey Tuesday! I can’t believe it’s here again already. Hope your week is off to a good start! It’s pajama day at school for the kids, so hopefully they come home talking about everyone’s jams and how they had pancakes for snack. Anyway, here’s the good stuff! We’ve got a whole lot of one-liners this week. 

 Because J really likes food…

J: I want da cumbers!!! (Cucumbers.)

J: Can I have da yogit now? (Yogurt.)

J: I want some more ‘cado! (Avocado.)

J: Ew! That’s dagusting! (Disgusting, obviously.)

Anytime J is singing a song and you join in, he says, “No! It’s my tuwn!”

EK, showing me a fake phone: Mom! Look at this one! It’s my dad laughing, with his tongue sticking out!

J, pointing to a turtle: Look mommy! It’s a toodle!

Me: Come sit with me!
EK: I have to put my panties on first!

EK, eating a Girl Scout Lemonade cookie, but not knowing the name of the cookie: This has got lemonade in it!

After I put raspberries on her plate…
EK: Thank you, chef!
Me: That was easy.

EK: My soft taco won’t let me pick it up!

EK: Would you get that boo-boo off for me?
Me: What boo-boo?
EK: The one on my lip!

Every time he rides on my back…
J: Hold tight, Mommy!

Lauren: Who is coming for your birthday?
EK: Santa Claus.

EK: Want some lispick on? (She means lipstick. She was actually holding lip gloss. But what really is the difference?)

Me: Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!
EK: Bitty body boo!

And just to further prove that he learns things from EK, when we were swinging the other day, J said, “Look mommy! I’m pumping my legs!” Cue my baffled face.

What are you kids talking about these days?

books, mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! I thought last week’s edition of Things Toddlers Say seemed long, but maybe my kids are just crazy, because this week’s is long, too! So here they are – the funniest things I’ve heard around here this week.  

 We love The Gruffalo, a book by Julia Donaldson (and also a short “movie” on Netflix!) so this conversation started normally…
Hubby: My favorite food is owl ice cream!
Me: My favorite food is scrambled snake!
EK: My favorite food is… toilet paper!

EK’s permanent retort when she runs out of things to say: Look, I know how to stop this winter.

On the way to get breakfast…
EK: We’re going to have special breakfast. Go right-left here. And then take a left.
Hubby: When’s your birthday?
EK: I don’t know.
Hubby: it’s April 13th! Can you count to 13?
EK: No.
Hubby: Let’s try!
Together: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11…
Hubby: What’s next?
EK: BIRTHDAYYYY!

Lala: Do you want a hushpuppy?
J: No, I don’t like pushuppy.

We’ve been working on shapes with J. He’s got most of them down, but hasn’t been able to latch onto “diamond”. Earlier, he had this swaddle, pictured above, and was calling it his “kite” swaddle. I finally figured out he was talking about the diamond shape print. Smart kid.

J: Come on ride the train… and ride it!

J locked himself in our bedroom before dinner, and was shouting, “I want out of the dark now!”

Annie to EK: You’re such a good girl!
EK: Yeah! That’s the point!

J: I want my kwackwer now!
He means graham crackers.

I’m singing “Bad Blood” while driving, and then I hear two kids shouting a perfectly-timed “Hey!” from the backseat. So well-trained.

EK’s best misnomer of late is yest-night.

J watched the first few minutes of Jurassic World (before it got scary, okay?!) and now confuses dinosaurs with dragons (he has always loved How to Train Your Dragon). He’s been calling dinosaurs “dinosons”.

Me: What color play doh do you want?
EK: Pink!
Me: There’s no pink, sweetie. How about orange?
EK: Okay! Orange is my favorite, my not pink favorite.

EK hands me this:  
And then asks, “What do you want for lunch? This is your menu!”

Every time EK sees a unicorn: Look, Mommy! An un-icorn! (As in un-der or un-fit.)

So…. you’ve heard mine, so let’s hear yours! What are you kiddos talking about?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say – the Extended Version

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! I don’t know if you can tell by the picture below, but we’ve had a… crazy week. These guys are getting more hilarious by the day, and I’m so excited each week to share this insight into my life with you. Thanks for reading and sharing!

EK: What is this place?
Aunt Holly: It’s my house!
EK: I don’t like it at other people’s houses. But I like it at this house.
Holly: Well, that’s a big compliment.

Me, with the bedtime routine: What was your favorite part today?
J: I saw mine Sesley!
Me: Aww, seeing Wesley? (His uncle)
J: And I saw mine Holly!
Me: And seeing Holly? (Aunt)
J: And I saw my best frenn! (aka his cousin Finley)
Heart. Melted. Cousin love.

Me: Want some Mac and cheese?
EK: Sure!
J: Sure, too!
I had already asked J and he had said, “No. I didn’t like that anymurr.”

My nephew Henry was born last week, and he is SO cute!
Me: I think we are going to meet Henry today!
EK: Aw yay! Do we get to meet Mimi, too?!
Me: No, not yet. (She is due in March, but all babies arrive at the same time, obviously.)

Outside on the swing set…
J: I schwinging, Mommy! I schwinging like El Kate!

After a hectic evening of loud play with family, EK’s grandma felt like she hadn’t seen very much of her throughout the evening.
Grandma: Can you say one nice or kind thing to me before you go?
EK: (after thinking) I love God.
Grandma: Well, I suppose that’s a very nice thing to say!

J, on the phone with Annie: Look at the trucks! I got an owl swaddle! I got a Batman blanket! I wanna hold Annie’s phone (meaning: hold the phone while he talks to Annie)! Did you talk to El Kate? I needa see El Kate now!
This was all while showing the phone around the room, as if it was on FaceTime (it wasn’t), and chattering away without letting Annie even speak.
 Referring to the picture above, J: I wanna put it on the Christmas tree now!
Me: That’s not an ornament, buddy. Not everything that has a string goes on the tree.
Yes, the tree is still up. Don’t hate.

At dinner, we were talking about who liked which princesses…
Andrea: Do you like Anna?
EK: No.
Andrea: Well, who is your favorite princess?
EK: Me!
Me: Touché.

J, getting tickled: No more tickles, Andree! You trouble!

EK, having (an extremely healthy) breakfast at Krispy Kreme: There’s donuts everywhere! They’re taking a ride! (on the conveyor belt)

EK (“Reading” the sign at Krispy Kreme): That sign says “donut store”.

J was splashing a lot in the tub…
EK, petting his face: Easy… easy boy!
Hubby: He’s not a horse.

Mom brag: I heard J counting his steps as he came up the stairs the other day. He didn’t miss one.

We have a book called “The Busy Little Train”. Each page adds another animal on to the train, and it says what number of them there are on the train. It’s a rhyming book, too, so EK can always predict what thing it says next. They love this stupid book. Anyway, tonight (Monday) we read it, and EVERY SINGLE TIME I paused for them to say the number, J happily said, “TWOOOOOOO!” Every. Single. Time.

Well, there are my highlights! What have your kids been up to?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy New Year! We started out with a few funnies, so here ya go!  

 While scrolling through my Instagram feed with EK, we see a photo of a baby bump (not me).
EK: Look mom, that’s you!
I guess I’ve been pregnant for a lot of her life.

EK is pronouncing all past tense words ending in “ed” with an extra syllable, whether it’s usually pronounced that way or not, or adding the ed on top. Such as “look-ed”, “kiss-ed”, and “wish-ed”. She has also been putting words in the past tense only by using -ed, and sometimes in addition to the regular past tense form of the word. For instance, “went-ed” and “ate-ed”.

J, eating chicken nuggets: I need some checkup! (He wanted ketchup.)

Dinner conversation…
EK: I have to go potty. Don’t eat my food!
Me: I already did! (Obviously joking, as she was looking at me and still had a full plate when I said it.)
EK: Did you?!?! (About to get super angry.)
Me: No, of course not.

You know you give too many warnings…
J, randomly, at breakfast: Woah! Careful, juice!

EK, using a tape measure: Let me make a check of these. (“Measuring” everything in sight.)

At Homegoods, when the cashiers are ready for the next person in line, there’s a recording of “Cashier number one, please” (or whatever number) that goes off. As we waited in line, EK kept saying, “Share number one, please!”

J has two ways to say he wants a nap: “I wanna do the nap now!” and “I want the milks now!”

Running across the church parking lot…
EK: We gotta hurry up before the mans and the girls start singing!

When I ask J if he wants something, if he doesn’t, he doesn’t just say, “No”. He says, “No, I don’t like ______ anymore.” I know it’s usually untrue, because he has just this week said that about bananas, Thomas the Tank Engine, chili, his new train cup, cereal, and school, all of which I know for a fact he loves.

J’s favorite things: Buzz Lightyear, Batman, trains, eggs (scrambled or fried), and anything that rolls across the floor.

EK’s favorite things: Princesses (and their dresses), Inside Out, puzzles, her grandmas, and (this week) pizza.

What are your kids saying? Anything hilarious? What are their “favorite things”?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! This week has been crazy, what with Christmas and J’s birthday, and I’ve unfortunately had a fair amount of time away from the kiddos. But here are a few gems; they will tide you over! Happy Tuesday!

Hubby snuggling with EK as she falls asleep…
EK: Daddy, you’re the biggest man I’ve ever seen.

EK, totally randomly: I rest my case!

Me: While daddy and I are gone, I want you to take a really good nap, okay?
EK: Yeah, that’s what little girls do. Close their eyes, and then wake up! But while my eyes are closed, the tears can still come down.
Me: …

J: My water! My water! My water! My water!
Hubby: What about your water?
J: My water is wet!

At the Mexican restaurant, in the bathroom…
EK: They have wonderful-smelling, pink soap!
Me: It does smell nice, doesn’t it?
EK: I could kiss the sink!
Me: NOOO!

 EK, wearing this dress: Can you bring me a horse to ride on?

My mom got the kids these things called FatHeads for the kids’ rooms. Basically they’re enormous stickers that go on the walls. J got a Tonka (construction vehicles) set, and EK got almost life-sized princesses. When she took our friends Andrea and Chris downstairs to see them, she said, “These are my people.”

Me, singing Dave Matthews: I’m the king of the castle, and yore a dirty rascal.
J: I’m a dirty rascal! (on pitch)

Got this post on my Facebook timeline from one of the children’s ministry leaders at my church: I went in to EK’s class yesterday to teach the Bible Story and sing with the kids and EK requested “Shake it Off.” Still laughing about it today. 😂😆 — feeling amused

The only thing I’m really missing is the fact that J copies almost exactly what EK says… right down to poor grammar, random comments, and rude statements. So there’s that.

29What are you kiddos saying? Did it have to do with Christmas?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! Pickings might be a bit slim this week, since Hubby and I spent three days (THREE DAYS?!) away from the babes, but I’ve given you everything I’ve got! More about our trip is coming! 🙂 Enjoy!

EK: Is my birthday in April?
Me: Yep! It’s in about five months.
EK: Will I be four?
Me: Yep!
EK: And then I’ll be five?
Me: Yep!
EK: How many are you?
Me: In a few days, I’ll be thirty.
EK: After five, will I be thirty?
Me: After five and six and a lot more, you’ll be thirty.
EK: YAY!
I’m just glad she’s excited about it. It makes me feel a little less old!

J, as Annie left: Anniiiiiiiie! I love youuuuuuu!
Me, Annie: *melting*

Ek doing some crafting
Hubby: Did you make that?!
EK: Yep!
Hubby: Get out of town, Charlie Brown!
EK: I not Charlie Brown!

More Christmas misnomers:
Christmas Tree=Christmas lights (J)
Christmas Sweater=Christmas Weather (J)
Peppermints=Purplemints (EK)
Hot Chocolate=Hot Chwockit (J)

Me, to EK in the other room: Whatcha doing?
EK: Cleaning the floor.
Me, looking to see her with a mop and a spray bottle of (thank goodness) Method: Whelp, you are, aren’t you?
EK: Rubby, dub, bub!

Next week I’m sure I’ll be back to the normal amount, but these should tide us all over. What are you kids saying these days? Any Christmas-related funnies?15

mommyhood, random thoughts, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday 🙂 I hope you’ve been having a great time with parties, decorations, shopping and celebrating the season! I know that we are having a great time experiencing the magic of Christmas with our young sets of eyes! Here are this week’s funnies! 

 EK, getting in push up position: 22, Mom?

EK: I wanna hold your hand!
Me: Okay! I love holding hands!
EK: Your hand is like, comfy, Mom!
Me: Aw thanks! That makes me feel good.
EK: It makes your heart happy? And heart sing?

EK, holding a phone: I’m checking my a-mail!

J, very tired at dinner: I need you carry me now.
Hubby: Do you want to get in your jammies?
J: Yeah. And panties. I want da panties now.
He thinks since his sister wears them, he can too.

We’ve put responsibility on EK to be a good example for her brothers. So now, every time J does something wrong, she says, “I need to teach him not to _____.” And if she does something wrong, she says, “Joseph’s teaching me to do that!” This includes but is not limited to the following:
Spitting (at the table or anywhere)
Screaming (at the table or anywhere)
Sticking tongue out
Biting
Pushing
Not eating one’s meal

J, giggling in D’s face: You so funny, Davis!

The scariest thing my daughter has ever said to me happened the other morning while I was still in the bed…
EK: Mom, look! I painted my nails!
Me: Where?! WHERE IS IT?! WHERE ELSE IS IT?!?!

The kids have been obsessed with Inside Out. The main character Riley plays hockey, and EK has been begging to go skating. Imagine her surprise when I was putting her to bed Friday night, and telling her we would see Disney on Ice the next day…

Me: Well, tomorrow we are going to see Elsa and Anna ice skate!
EK: REALLY?!
Me: Yes! We’re going to go see lots of princesses go skating together! (Grasping at straws for how to explain something like that to a kid who’s never seen it before)
EK: Yay! What about Ariel and Cinderella?
Me (hoping it’s true): Yes, them too!

J, every time I open the car door to get him out of his seat: You scared me!

J, jumping out from behind literally everything: Boo Mommy! Boo Daddy! Boo Ella Kate! Boo Davis!

And then this happened…  J: Boo guys!
Me: Be careful, and sit down.
J: Yeah! Careful chair! (Sits down, then gets back up.)
Me: Sit down or get off the chair.
J: (runs away)
Me: Well, that’s decided.

So there you have it… our silly kids! What are you kiddos saying? What’s so funny about them?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! And happy Tuesday! Hope you’ve had a great week so far – I had a case of the Mondays yesterday, and drank copious amounts of coffee. Here are this week’s funnies!

EK, randomly, brings three plastic balls to my mom: Do you know how to juggle?
Necie: No, I’m not coordinated enough to juggle.
EK, a few minutes later: *sigh* I love hear balls.
Later still…
EK: Monkeys can juggle, right?

During Thanksgiving lunch…
EK: I have to poop.
Me: Okay. You go, and let me know when you’re finished.
EK: Can you come with me?
Me: No. No. No, I can’t.

J, putting his arm around my neck: My best frien’.
Me: He just said I’m his best friend! Who’s your best friend, Joseph?
J: Finley! Finley! Best friends! Best friends!

Christmas misnomers:
Candy canes=candy cones
Ornaments=arnamitts
Jingle bells=jiggle bells

Seeing the Festival of Lights…
EK, every 30 seconds: Isn’t this great, Mom?!

At a friend’s birthday party last week, the kids get to hit a piñata. Whenever it wasn’t her turn to hit, EK was cheering for the other kids…
EK: Go Styles! Go Riley! Go Joseph! Go George! Go Finley! Good job, everyone! Woooooo!

At a restaurant, EK points to the lemon on my water that I haven’t used.
EK: Can I have that lemon?
Me: Here you go!
EK, dropping it in her water: I want to make my water toolicious!

Eating lunch…


J: Hey Davis! Hey Davis! Hey Davis! Hey Davis! (et cetera)

Watching Hubby cut carrots…
J: Why you cutting? Why you cutting? Why you cutting? Why you cutting carrots?

Eating homemade ramen one night, and using chopsticks (obviously), EK was using her chopsticks to make letters (brilliant, by the way) and J was watching her in awe. He kept saying, “That’s funny, Ella Kate!” He loves her.

Putting J to bed in his “big boy bed” has been a chore some nights. Other nights, he flings his arms around my (or Hubby’s) neck and says, “I wanna ‘nuggle!” Heart melting.

Is there anything cute that your kids are saying these days?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

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Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday – before Thanksgiving! I hope you all get a few days respite and time with your family this week!

I’ve noticed that what I’m writing each week is getting a little more conversational. Even J is getting to be a big boy (and did you see he’s in his big boy bed now?!) with the way he talks. It’s getting good, folks. Enjoy!

Me: It’s raining today, so let’s put your boots on.
J: No, I don’t wan’ wear ma boops!
Me: Okay, well let’s just get dressed.
(Puts all the other clothes on.)
J: Mom! I wan’ wear ma boops!
Just act like it was his idea.

For J, when he gets in trouble, he sits in time out. And apparently I’ve been speaking too harshly, or else he knows just how to dramatize it. Sometimes, randomly, he’ll shout, “Time out!” and point to the hallway (where our time out spot is) and not crack a single smile. I don’t necessarily feel like I shout it, or say it without explanation, but he gets the point.

Overheard from the other room…
EK: Hop in there, Joe Joe!
J: Okay!
EK: We’ve got to get to home!
J: Okay!
EK: Come on, Bing Bong!
Hubby, coming into the room: Do you know what they’re doing? It took me a while to figure out… They’re playing “Inside Out”.
Me: And of course, J is Bing Bong (the imaginary cotton candy-elephant-cat).

Instead of asking for eggs like he normally does, J has started calling them eggies. A little throwback, perhaps?

EK: Mama! Here’s your bootiful bracelet!

Hartley: They have really good collard greens here.
Me: Are they spicy?
J: Are you spicy?
Me: Hahahaha!

Me: Hey, where did you put the cream cheese?
EK: On the counter, next to the knife block and the coffee maker.   Me: Very astute. You also just used several words I didn’t know you knew.

Annie, upon giving EK a Lindor truffle: Did that taste really good?
EK:Yeah!
Annie: What did it taste like?
EK: A bird in my mouth!

J: Mom! Look!
Me: What is it?
J: A that!
Me: A what?
J: A fire truck!
It was a yellow car.

Driving home from the store, we had a case of wine in the back seat…
(Loud clinking)
EK: Be quiet, wines!

Are your kids funny, too? I want to hear what they say!