My Journey as a Mother: Breastfeeding (Part Three)

If you’ve read my other posts about breastfeeding my kids (here and here) you’ll know that breastfeeding has looked different – with varying levels of difficulty – each time. My youngest sweetie, Davis, is three weeks old now, and I can honestly say it’s been another less-than-I-hoped-for sort of journey so far. 

 When D was born, I already had enough experience to know that I needed a nipple shield, so I was armed with it in the delivery room for the first time he nursed. During our hospital stay, he nursed fairly well, despite being pretty sleepy and exhausted – it’s work to be born!

When we got home, he was increasingly difficult to wake up and keep awake to eat well. Therefore, he wasn’t getting enough each time, but would wake often to eat. It wasn’t exactly cluster feeding; it was more that I couldn’t get him to stay awake through a feeding. This was, looking back on it from my spot at three weeks, already making my supply decrease even before he was a week old.

When we went to the pediatrician for his two-week check up, I knew what was going to happen as soon as he got on the scale. He was still 5oz short of his birth weight, and I could see the rest of the visit playing out in my mind. My eyes welled up with tears of fear and guilt before we made it back to our exam room. How could I not be giving my child what he needed? Why was it that my body couldn’t manage to nourish my babies after it had done so well for nine months?

At his two week check up, he was still not back up to his birth weight, and so my pediatrician suggested supplementing with a little formula (or expressed breast milk, of which I had little) after every feeding. She gave me some samples – some ready-to-use and some cans of powdered – so that I wouldn’t have to buy any if I didn’t end up needing it for very long. When we got home that afternoon, we tried our first bottle with a couple of ounces of formula. He was very wary of it, and took some convincing to start eating it. He didn’t have much before we stopped for a burp, and when he sat up straight, he immediately puked up most of what he’d eaten. You can imagine how excited I was for that to happen. So we cleaned him (and everything else) up, and I mixed in a little breast milk with the rest of the formula, thinking it might improve the taste and also be easier on his stomach. He took it a little more readily, but still threw up the majority of what he’d taken.

You can imagine I was getting a little worried now. If he can’t keep formula down, and my milk supply is low, how am I gonna beef the kid up? Well, we switched the brand of formula and started off with very little formula in the breast milk, and he’s gotten more and more used to it. He still nurses a little, and it’s still not terribly efficient, but I think it’s helping keep my supply from dropping more than it might if I was exclusively pumping. But he’s gaining! And I’m taking my fenugreek (gross, by the way), drinking TONS of water, and eating my oats. It’s work, especially with a couple more little ones, but I’m doing everything I can to help him be healthy and growing. I don’t know how long I can keep up the pumping (honestly, it’s tough to find time to sit down and not have to get up while I’m doing it) but my goal is to at least get him to six weeks with having mostly breast milk with only a little bit of formula supplement. It’s what’s working for us right now, and when it doesn’t work anymore, we will change it. You can only do what works, right? Whatever is the best thing you can manage is what you do.

Things Toddlers Say

 Happy Tuesday!

Reasons my son is crying:

 Because he wanted to sit in the doll stroller, but as he sat down, it rolled away. He landed in the exact position he is shown in here.

Sibling sameness: This is definitely a season of mimicking. Anything EK can do, J (thinks he) can do better.

Hubby has been making pourover coffee recently, and boiling his water in a stove top kettle. Every time the kettle whistles, EK shouts: “Daaaaaad! Your coffee’s dooooooone!” Which of course isn’t strictly true… But it’s still adorable that she’s yelling that all through the house.

Life of a nursing mother…
EK: Mom, do you have milk in your boobs?
Me: …yes…

J: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
J: Umm… I… (jabbering to finish the sentence).
I think it’s adorable that he starts with “Umm” and “I…” When he starts a sentence.

EK had a friend over the other day, who was playing a “game” on one of our old cell phones we keep as toy phones (that have had dead batteries for years). He was telling us about the “game” he was playing…
S: This is a zombies game!
Hubby: Zombies?
S: Yeah! About zombies!
Hubby: What kind of zombies?
S: Ebola zombies!
Everyone: ???

EK, unprompted, jumping up from the dinner table: Okay, I’m gonna go get my things!
(Goes to get some blocks.)
EK: Okay! I got my things! (Silence) Ahem! I got my things!!!
Everyone: ….?

Here’s a little gem my mom told me about: EK kept getting up out of bed, and saying she needed to poop. That’s her new thing she knows will buy her a few minutes out of bed, because we’re too scared to send her back to bed without trying to go. (Ain’t nobody got time to clean up a poopsplosion.) So my mom took her to the bathroom – no poop – and she put her back to bed. As she was tucking her in…
Necie (my mom): I love you, even if you are a stinker who likes to push your mom’s buttons.
EK: I looooooove to push Mom’s buttons!
Girl after my own heart, right?

Because lunch…

EK: I want a butter shammick! 

(That’s threenager code for “peanut butter sandwich”.)

On Sunday, my mother-in-law picked EK up for a play date. A few minutes after they had left, I got this text from her: We got home and Joe is up on the roof trying to put some silicone where we had a leak the other day. Ella Kate got out of the car and said, “Gon Gon, what in the world are you doing up on that roof, silly?! Now you be careful up there!” 

Hubby was cleaning up our storage room while I put the big kids to bed, and as I went to tell him they were down for the night, EK pranced in behind me. Naturally, she requested a daddy snuggle, and I said he’d have to figure out how to get out of there in a few minutes. Her response…

EK: Yeah, Daddy’s gonna have to jump right over that bathtub! (The baby bathtub.) He’s gonna jump right over it like a rabbit! Then he’s going to turn INTO a rabbit! Then I’ll never see my dad again. 

Me: ….Okay, well, I’ll send him in for a kiss in a minute… (Whaaaa?!)
What’s your toddler been saying?!

To My Kids: Sometimes I Cry

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus


Sometimes, at the end of a particularly trying day with you guys, I cry. I’m overwhelmed with all the feelings, with exhaustion, with knowing I’ll get up and do it all again tomorrow. So sometimes, there’s nothing to do but cry.

I cry selfishly for the fact that the day took so many hours to be over.

I cry because I don’t know if the choices I made were the right ones.

I cry because I don’t know if you felt loved enough, cherished enough, hugged and kissed enough.

I cry from sheer exhaustion, as I literally fall into bed, having nothing left for your dad but tears.

I cry because I was so frustrated over a hundred little things that went “wrong”.

I cry because I didn’t rejoice enough over the things that went right.

I cry because it’s okay to feel sad, to feel scared, to feel angry, or to feel lonely.

I cry because I’m so full of love and happiness, I can’t express myself any other way.

I cry because I’m so grateful to have tomorrow to start over.

You see, every day, I do my best. For better or for worse, my best is different every day. Sometimes, my best is not letting you do something that you want to do, because it’s a poor choice. Sometimes my best is ice cream for dinner. Sometimes, my best is a perfectly planned day, with healthy snacks and meals, fun play dates, great naps and lasting memories made. Sometimes, my best is losing my patience with you, and having to apologize. But always, always, I love you. Because I love you, because I care so much about you, I sometimes have a reason to cry. And that’s okay.

Currently

Hey there, Monday… you really flew by! I know I’m late on my Currently link-up, but the day just got away from me. I’m joining Becky at Choose Happy, like always, and I’m glad to let you know what I’m up to currently!

currently button

Excited || for preschool to start for my two oldest babes! I know it seems early, as there are a couple of weeks of August left, but I know EK is excited for school, and I have some trepidation with J, but I know he will be fine after the first few days. He’s a trooper, and I’m sure he will have fun!

Loving || having my wardrobe back! There are of course a few things I can’t quite wear yet, but I’m ecstatic to have more than two colors of each article of clothing! I’ve got some summer dresses I’m dying to wear before Labor Day!

Wearing || My baby. Everywhere. Often. D loves being snuggled close to me, and I love our Boba and our Ergo! I have a woven wrap (Easy Care Rainbow – gorgeous!) that I want to try to get good at when D has some more head control. I got fairly good at it with EK (a different woven, but still) but for some reason I never got great at wrapping J. Hopefully D will love being up in it! (And also J gets a little jealous so I’m wearing him, too!)

 Visiting || our pediatrician… a lot. D has been like J was, and is gaining weight a little slowly. We’ve been supplementing with some formula and he’s doing much better now than in his first week. I’m actually in the waiting room for his check up as I type this. Good thing we really love our peds office! (Update, 6 oz past birth weight! Yay!)

Thankful for || my mom, who has done our laundry, washed our dishes, snuggled our babies, and taken care of us in every possible way over the last two and a half weeks. She’s a great lady, y’all, and it’s been incredible to have her here helping out. I’m sad to send her home soon!

 Well, that’s what I’m up to! Please join us in the link-up, or leave comments and tell us what you’re up to currently!

Grocery Shopping with Toddlers in 64 Easy Steps

 
As you may or may not know, grocery shopping is one of my favorite things to do, and my kids typically have a good time doing it as well. Our neighborhood grocery store is a place we goseveral times a week and everyone knows us. It’s really close to our house, so I don’t feel bad hopping down there pretty frequently. Anyway, when I pack up the kids and take them with me (that’s most of the time), it takes a little more planning and effort. Here is what grocery shopping with my kids usually looks like.

1. Park not in the closest parking space to the door of the store, but in the closest parking space to a cart return (for easy pick up and drop off).

2. Hold one kid on your hip and hold the other’s hand because, of course, there weren’t any carts in the cart return.

3. Choose the cart with two seats and steering wheels.

4. Buckle in your toddlers.

5. Wait for your oldest to complain because she wants to use a “little shopper” cart instead.

6. Unstrap her and let her pick out the “little shopper” cart of her choosing.

7. Wait for her to bash your ankles while you unstrap your second toddler.

8. Put second toddler into a regular cart, because you can’t seem to justify taking the one with the steering wheels for just one kid.

9. Finally enter the store.

10. Get your ankles bashed, because your daughter eyed the lovely display of donuts inside the door, instead of watching where she was going.

11. Tell your daughter you can get donuts on a different day, if she stops bashing your ankles.

12. Peruse the produce quickly, giving only the most durable items to your “little shopper”.

13. Watch as a carton of blueberries is dumped sideways and hits the floor.

14. Shout, “Freeze!” so that the least number of blueberries are smashed.

15. Stoop down (around your swollen, 39-week belly) to pick up any whole blueberries that are left.

16. Add the partially-full carton of blueberries to your cart, because you feel bad spilling half of them out and then putting them back.

17. Feed the toddler in your cart a quick snack, because he’s burned up all his calories watching you clean up the blueberries.

18. Skip over the rest of the produce and head to the meat department, because who needs veggies today?

19. Grab chicken and steak and get the heck out of the meat department, because your “little shopper” is already in the dairy section, headed for the eggs.

20. Give the toddler in your cart another snack, because he’s eyeing the not yet purchased bananas.

21. Take out the salted butter (why?) and the store-brand can of biscuits (still why?) from your “little shopper’s” cart.

22. Get both of the last two gallons of organic whole milk, and cry because the price went up again.

23. Say no to the ice cream.

24. Wipe away the tears, and say no to the ice cream.

25. Explain that you’ve already got ice cream in the freezer at home.

26.  Offer ice cream for lunch on the condition that you don’t have to get a second container of ice cream.

27. Go to the check out line.

28. Leave your cart in the line, and go retrieve your little shopper from the ice cream aisle (thankfully not far away).

29. Come back to the line with your little shopper and her ice cream.

30. Get your ankles bashed because the little shopper is eyeing the candy.

31. Give in and let the toddler in your cart watch videos on your phone while you help bag the groceries.

32. Say no to the M&Ms.

33. Say no to the York peppermint patty.

34. Say no to the random candy bar you’ve never heard of, but now you want to try.

35. Peel your “little shopper” off the floor.

36. Give her the “special job” of returning her tiny cart.

37. Swipe your card and bust it after your little shopper before she hits the parking lot (her logical next step after returning her tiny cart).

38. Realize you forgot the eggs.

39. Resign yourself to not caring.

40. Scoop up your little shopper as she’s activating the automatic door.

41. Squish her in, even though there’s no room, next to the toddler already in the cart.

42. Watch the hair-pulling begin.

43. Walk as quickly as you can to the car, waving one hand in the air to the oncoming traffic.

44. Smile apologetically at the cars who stopped to stare at your toddlers making a scene.

45. Thank God for the button that cranks the car before you get there.

46. Wrestle toddler number one into his seat.

47. Give him back your phone with the videos to watch.

48. Wrestle toddler number two into her seat.

49. Explain that you only have one phone.

50. Try seven other methods of distraction.

51. Finally pacify her with a banana.

52. Pack groceries into the car.

53. Take cart to cart return.

54. Praise yourself for parking so close to it.

55. Get in the car, already nice and cool.

56. Turn around to look at toddlers, and see banana in everyone’s hair.

57. Turn back around like you didn’t notice.

58. Drive home.

59. Unpack children.

60. Give them ice cream.

61. Unpack groceries.

62. Think of several other things you didn’t get, and figure you’ll just do without them till the next trip. 

63. Ice your bashed and bruised ankles.  

64. Hope the next trip isn’t for a while, but know it’ll probably be two days later. 

Things Toddlers Say 

Helloooooo, Tuesday! I wouldn’t want any of y’all to think that since we’ve got a new baby in the house, the big kids aren’t as funny! So naturally, I’ve been making an extra effort to jot down the sillies… so here they are!

Grey’s Anatomy…
EK, pointing at D’s cord that hasn’t quite fallen off: What’s that?
Hubby: That’s going to be his belly button. This little part is gonna fall off.
EK: Yeah, it got broke.

EK went swimming with her grandmother Annie one afternoon, and got a bath afterwards before she came home. When bath time came about that night, she totally undressed and started climbing in the tub…
Me: Didn’t you already get a bath after the pool?
EK: Yeah.
Me: So why do you need another one?
EK, brushing the hair out of her face: I got really sweaty…
(There was only about two hours between the bath and the second bath, in which she ate dinner and put together a puzzle. Nothing sweaty about it.)

J, upon receiving a Jellycat (if you don’t know them, look them up!) frog from my aunt: Hop! Hop! Hop! (Hops around the kitchen)
Jan (my aunt): Can you say “ribbit”?
J: Hop!
Jan: Ribbit!
J: Hop! Hop!
Me: I guess all he cares about is the movement frogs do?


So he didn’t say anything, but J gave Elsa at least 3 high fives while I was watching. Can’t leave a girl hanging.

EK: I had a great day at camp today!
Necie: That’s great!
EK: Tomorrow, I have another great day!
Necie: Wonderful, EK!
EK: Tomorrow, I gon’ paint a seashell for Joe Joe. And one for Davis, and Mommy and Daddy and Jan and Nana and Abby!
Necie: You’re gonna be busy!

Hydration is important…
EK: Oh! Mom! My wattle bottle!

Singing to my kids…
Me: Joseph, Joseph, here he comes! Joseph, Joseph, cute as… Plums..?
Hubby: Yeah! Plums! Good job babe!
Me: Should’ve abandoned that rhyme.

Currently

Hey everyone! I managed to remember today was Monday, so here I am with my edition of Currently! I’m linking up as always with Becky at Choose Happy, and also the August link up at Gold & Bloom on Wednesday! Join us to share what’s going on with you currently!!

Working || in the garden! I’ve slacked off a little (I mean I just had a baby) but the garden grows on! The kids got outside with us this morning to do some pruning and picking. They love it!

   
  

That orange cherry tomato is officially my new favorite color.  

Attending || Vacation Bible School this week. Last night was the first night, and I must say, my kids did well considering it ended at their bedtime. I was afraid of meltdown city, but it ended up that they got to bed late, then slept late. I guess I’m fine with that!
Excited about || the amount of sleep we got last night! D slept from about 2-8am, and I feel like a new person! I’m not foolish enough to think this is the new normal just yet, but I sure enjoyed it! Thanks, little guy!

Creating || some semblance of a schedule, hopefully to make last night’s six-hour stretch happen again. In trying to feed D every two hours, pretty much on the dot (or more often if he in hungry) to make sure he gets most of his calories during the day. It also helps him to not sleep as much during the day and sleep more at night. It worked alright for my first two, and hopefully in another week we will see some progress!

Watching || the Wet Hot American Summer series on Netflix! Hubby and I have long been lovers of the movie (and obviously the entire cast) so when the series hit Netflix, we got right on board. It’s a little strange, because it’s a prequel to the movie but everyone is obviously old(er), and I’m not sure if the plot is… existent… But we can’t not watch it, ya know? The actors jumped back into their characters pretty seamlessly, so that was nice.  

 

Well what else is going on? Anything new I should watch? Any tips on getting a 3yo, 19mo, and a newborn on schedules together? Yeah right, I know 🙂

Things I Love About Newborns

This post also appeared on My Big Jesus!

After three years of watching my first and then second newborn grow into rough-and-tumble toddler and preschooler who feed themselves, make big messes, know more words every day, have super-stinky poops and holler louder than I would’ve imagined they could, having a newborn in the house again has totally baffled me all over again. It’s amazing how tiny they are, how soft their skin is, the way their legs draw up to their bottoms. It’s just plain cute is what I’m saying. Here are a few wonderful things I’ve rediscovered about newborns over the past week and a half since we added our newest… 

 Fuzzy Bodies || Their little bodies are covered (head to toe, in the case of all three of my children) in fine, downy hair. It’s literally adorable how monkey-like the little babes are. Their cheeks, their shoulders, their knees, all covered in fuzzy, little baby hairs. So cute.

Squeaky Noises || The squeaky, high-pitched noises accompanying stretches and the contented grunts accompanying full tummies are the cutest sounds in the world. That is all.

Deep Blue Eyes || I’ve often heard people say that all babies are born with blue eyes. While I don’t really know if that’s true, it was true for my children. All three of them had the deepest blue eyes at birth, like when you’re out on the ocean and you can’t even fathom where the bottom is… that deep, dark blue. J’s lightened pretty quickly, and are a pretty crystal blue now. But EK’s (and D’s so far) stayed darker for much longer, then started to develop a few more colors, and are hazel now. Word’s still out on what D’s will do.

Snugglability || There just isn’t anything in the world like cuddling a sleeping newborn baby. Nothing at all.

Wrinkly Everything || Similar to the fuzzy bodies, the wrinkly skin is also super endearing. Wrists, ankles, necks, everything has a few extra rolls and wrinkles and it’s adorable.

Quiet Mom and Baby Time || Whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle feeding, chances are there is a good amount of time that you’re alone with your baby… even if it’s only in the middle of the night. When baby is eating, or sleeping after a feeding, that time alone with just them is such sweet bonding and precious snuggle time that you will never regret.

Providing for Everything || A newborn is wonderfully (and sometimes terribly) dependent, but having the tools to give the baby everything he needs feels so good. It’s nice to know that if I can change his diapers, feed him, keep him warm, and give him lots of snuggles, he’s pretty much got everything he needs. No toys, playdates, or homework help needed. Instant supermom.

There are a few more things that I love, but most of them have to do with how different they are from my bigs, such as the fact that he can’t run, walk, crawl, or even roll over, the fact that right now, he eats for free, and the fact that he naps all day long. But newborns in general are just perfect… sweet blessings from our Creator that remind us how much we can love and how much we are loved.

I Never Dreamed Big… and that’s okay. (On Mom Babble)

Happy Saturday, everyone! This morning I’m on Mom Babble, writing about something really close to my heart. I’ve really opened up and poured out, so please go over and read it!   Here’s a little bit to get you hooked…

I have a confession to make: I’ve never had a clear vision for my life. 

I never had some huge goal I really wanted to accomplish. I didn’t have a career path I had wanted since childhood. I haven’t had a huge dream that was waiting out there for me to come catch it. I’m picturing a Broadway musical here… the swell of the orchestra, the anticipation of the audience, the main character (who we already love) bursting into song as she sets out to find her place in the world.

I just don’t feel like I’ve ever had that moment. I’ve had wonderful experiences, adventures, and moments that were huge for me. I’ve taken big steps in the direction of my future. But I’ve never had this one perfect thing that I’ve had years of building up and getting around to…
Read the rest on Mom Babble!