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Things Toddlers Say

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What day is it?! TUESDAY!

What do we want?! THE FUNNIES!

Here they are, just like always! Enjoy!

Hubby told me J was reading books and playing with trains instead of napping. When he woke up, he told me: Daddy said, “NO MORE BOOKS!”

EK, during dinner: Oh! My panties is stretching me!

In the car, headed to the mountains…
Me: I see mountains!
EK: I see steam from dragons!

J, holding a bunch of grapes on the stem: Look, Mommy! It’s like a tree! Like a broccoli!

We stayed with some family for a night last week, and had a wonderful time. EK immediately took to Hubby’s aunt, and to her (adult) daughter. She called Debbie “Deedee” almost exclusively, and kept asking what “that girl’s” name was. It was Parker, but she just couldn’t wrap her head around it.

We hiked for a bit while in the mountains, and happended upon some wild flowers. EK said, “Mom! A secret garden!”

This family also had a dog, Eevie. Still very much a puppy, she thought J was a toy, the way he kept screaming and running around. They were fast friends even though every time J ran away, she chased him a little too quickly. There were many cries of, “She lick-ed me!” and “She is too fast!”

Ginna: What’s your name?
J: Joseph.
Ginna: What’s your last name?
J: Joe Joe.


Here is Edith, from Despicable Me, filing her nails like a teenager.

Hubby: Time for bed!
EK: Can you carry me?
Hubby: It’s not far; you can walk.
EK: (army crawls to her room)

On the way to the farmers’ market…
EK: I bet Mark (our farmer friend) will be at the farmers’ market!
Me: I bet you’re right! (We usually do see him there.)
EK: He prolly will be but I bet he won’t.
Hubby: Strong logic.

At Fathers Day lunch…
Me: Let’s all say one thing we love about Daddy since its Father’s Day!
EK: One thing we love about Daddy since its Father’s Day!
Me: Um, I’ll start. I love Daddy and I think he’s handsome!
EK: I love him because he cooks and he’s good about taking me on dates!
J: I love Daddy tocause I love him!
EK: And when it’s brothers day, I will say, “Happy brothers day, J! I love you!”

After interrupting me several times…
EK: Now that you’ve finished your sentence, I’ll let you borrow my ring!

Hope you enjoyed our antics! What are you kiddos talking about?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! I have a few sillies for you this week! Hope you enjoy!


EK: I need to tell you stumping. Come wif me.

EK: Are we having dumplings for dinner?
Hubby: Yep!
EK: I don’t have time for dumplings. I have time for sushi, for lettuce, or cucumber…

Housekeeping fail…
J: Mommyyyyy! There’s ants! They’re trying to get my noodles! (That he had spilled at lunch. Oops.)

Me: Babe, what time is it?
Hubby: (doesn’t hear me)
J: I fink it’s six zero.

EK: I’m Queen Elsa!
J: I’m Queen Batman.
Me: Oh yes you are.

This one time, I was talking to Hubby and used “stupid” in a sentence.
EK: Stupid is not a good word.
Me: You’re right, babe.
EK: You could use another word instead. Like, sweet.
Me: Well, those are not really words that mean the same thing.
EK: Then you could use other words. Like house. Or train, turtle, or truck!
Me: Well… Alliteration!

J, coming in my room in the morning: Are you a sleepy little guy, Mommy?

J, dragging a spaghetti noodle across the table: Choo Choo! Spaghetti train to my mouth!

My big kids still like to drink warm milk out of sippy cups at their naps. EK has been drinking less and less, which is totally fine. But now, she wants to look at the side of the cup, and tell me the number to which she’d like her milk to go (aka how many ounces). The other day, she pitched a total fit because she’d asked for two, and it was at three. Then, after crying, she drank it all and came upstairs and asked for nine (she hasn’t finished nine ounces in months). I told her that would be too much, so we settled for five. She’s becoming quite the diva.

A couple of funnies from EK’s weekend away that were passed along to me…
EK: I sure do wish that sun would have come with us on the boat.
Laura: I think it did. Look up there.
EK: Well, look at that!

EK: Laura, I think I’d prefer to eat this brownie on your lap.

After EK’s weekend at the lake…
Hubby: I missed you!
EK: I miss-ed (both syllables pronounced) you too! I’m so glad to be back in North Carolina! (She had never left the state.)
Hubby: You mean back home?
EK: Yeah. Back home, in my house, with my parents.

EK sings this song: Jesus, Jesus! Jesus in the morning! Jesus in the noon time! Jesus, Jesus! Jesus when the sun goes down!
J responds: No! Sun comes up! Jesus when da sun comes up!

J had a playdate with his friend A yesterday, and they were so cute. They had a nice mixture of sharing well and arguing over stuff. At the end, A said: And we are friends! I just thought it was adorable.

New random word choice: instead of “a little bit”, EK and J are using the word “tiny”. Examples: I’m tiny hot. And: I’m tiny thirsty. Also, J asked me to sing the “tiny ABC’s”, and he meant in a squeaky, high-pitched voice.

Do your kids have any strangely placed words? Or words they use incorrectly?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Good morning, and happy Tuesday!

I’m realizing that what I write for y’all on these posts is more and more conversational each week. It’s crazy to think that I have two, mostly-communicative children, and another who babbles away to us in his own language. It’s so fun for me to look back through old posts (like this hilarious one) about what EK said a year ago. But here are this week’s funnies for you to enjoy!


J: I wanna be Spider-Man!
Me: That’s new. (Batman has historically been his favorite.)
EK: I wish there was a girl.
Me: Spider-Man had a girlfriend named Mary Jane…?
EK: Yeah. She has red hair. I could be her! I just need to have red hair and gloves!
Me: Um, okay. I think we can make some gloves happen.
About 15 minutes later, the kids were wearing their superhero garb I got them last week, J in the Spider-Man and EK in the Captain America.
EK: Look, Mom! J is Spider-Man and I am Mary Jane! To J: I’m your husband!
Me: *dying*

EK starts singing the blessing, and J joins in.
EK: No, I want to do it myself!
J: *sigh* Okay, fine. You can do it by myself. *sigh*

EK, pointing at a slice of mozzarella: Is that Cinderella cheese?

J hurt his toe playing outside, and Hubby tried to distract him.
Hubby: Say blood!
J: I don’t want to!
Hubby: Say hemoglobin!
J, crying: I don’t want to say hemobucket!

J: I put the bagel in time out, Mom.

We hear a crash from downstairs and a cry from J…
Hubby: What happened, buddy?
J: I fell off the watermelon!
The ottoman. He meant the ottoman.

J: Mommy!
Me: Yes?
J: Mommy, my toe hurts!
Me: Oh no! Why does it hurt?
J: Tocause.
Me: Because why?
J: Tocause I miss you.
Mom=slayed.

I hand J a magnolia blossom.
J: Can I smell it?
Me: Sure! What does it smell like?
J: Chocolate!

Going to Coldstone…
EK: I want rainbow ice cream! In a cone!
J: I want dinosaur ice cream! With dinosaurs in it!

J, on his trike: Here I’s come! I’m coming to you!

What are your toddlers talking about?!

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Glad to bring back the weekly funnies! This one is long since it’s got a few from the previous week as well… Enjoy!

J, with coins in his hand: I got da monies!

J: Mom! EK’s drawing on she’s leg! (She’s is a substitute for her.)

Sitting at a nice restaurant for lunch…
EK: I want nuggets and fries and a taco for lunch, please.

Out on the porch…
J: I saw an ant, Mom! So I flicked it, right into the garden!
EK: Yeah! I gave my ant a spanking and put it in the crash can!

Leaving preschool…
J: Look, mom! There’s a bird! I wanna give it a kiss.

Hubby takes off J’s shirt, and he points at his tummy…
J: That’s my tummy aches daddy!
Hubby: What?
J: My tummy aches! (He pulls up Hubby’s shirt) Can I see your tummy aches?

J, coming out of his room after nap: Good morning, D! Good morning, EK! I had a nice nap.

EK, complimenting Hubby: You’re like Prince Charlie! (It took us several minutes to realize she meant Prince Charming.)

Hubby: How’s your taco?
J: Yummy! It’s like a chip!

EK had been pestering me to pay attention to her (I was working) and I had been telling her to wait a few minutes for, well, a few minutes. Finally, I said, “Yes?” She responded, “I was just wondering if we could have a tea party one day this week, Thursday or Wednesday maybe? Just whatever day I don’t have church or school. I could look at my calendar and see what’s going on?” And obviously, I responded, “…..Um, yes. I’d like that. Any day you want…”

Every time I change J’s diaper: Can I see da poopy, Mommy?

Snapshots of while we were gone…

Swinging with Uncle Cameron…
J: Push me! (Wait) Stop! (Wait) Okay, push me. Slowly!

EK is screaming at the dinner table…
Cameron: If you’re going to scream, go downstairs. If you want to eat with us, don’t scream.
EK: Necie, Cameron’s being mean to me!

Me: Did you go to school while I was gone?
EK: Yeah. And I stayed for lunch bunch. Necie gave me some money and I gave it to my teacher.

Necie: J just woke up. Do you want to put away the play doh?
EK: No, J loves play doh. I want to share it with him because I love him.

I thought those were all pretty good this week! What are your kids saying? Anyone else’s boy interested in seeing his poop? BLERG.

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Things Toddlers Say

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Hey, Tuesday! I can’t believe you’ve come back around again. Since you’re here, how about some sillies?

EK speaking to the waitress at the restaurant with Annie: Will you please bring me some ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles?
Girl knows what she wants.

Mothers’ Day shopping with Annie…
EK: You’re a mother! We should get you a present, too!

I wasn’t present for this one:
Hubby: …unless you’d like to take your nap at Annie’s house.
Annie: That’s alright with me.
EK: Well, we’ll have to ask Ryan’s wife first.

Annie: Is Finley your friend?
J: No! He’s my best friend.

Happening in the back seat of the car…
EK: Okay, I say “no” and you say “yeah”… No!
J: Yayeah!

J, when I went to wake him up: Mom! I can’t find my Sully anywhere!

EK: Can I have your avocado?
Jan: Sure!
EK: Wait! Don’t give it to me yet… Can I please have some of your avocado?
How very polite she’s become.

EK: Daddy, you like spicy food.
Hubby: I sure do.
EK: Yeah, but the kiddos don’t.

EK: Mommy, you’re gonna be at Lauren’s work soon. (She’s a PA.)
Me: I don’t really plan on being at Lauren’s work, no.
EK: You will. Bery, bery soon.
How does she know?!

In the corner of the living room, crouching beside the sofa…
J: I hidin’, Mom! I hidin’ right here!

EK had been procrastinating bedtime, using the bathroom, asking for snuggles, etc. My aunt (who was with her) finally laid down with her…
Jan: I’ll snuggle you for two minutes. And then, I have to go. If your mom sees me in here, she’s going to be upset.
EK: Yeah. She may call the police. And the police will come take you away. Go back to your room right now!
Jan: Right now?
EK: Yes! Because the police might come!

Milkshake wisdom:
EK: It’s good to have a blanket when you’re drinking a milkshake on the couch.
Seems legit.

That’s it for the week. There was more, but I just can’t write everything down! It’s too much. You’d be flooded with hilarity, and that’s not good for the rest of your life. Everything else wouldn’t be as funny. Have a good week!

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everybody! It’s been warm and lovely here in NC – you know, when it isn’t raining – and we’ve been enjoying outdoor time as much as we can! We’ve had a nice time with family and friends, and we are gearing up for a great last couple of weeks of school. Here are a few funnies from this week!!

So I do this thing when we are all getting ready to leave where I put the kids in the car, crank it up, and then get my last few things together while they’re already tied down. The other morning, this happened:
EK, as in strapping her in: Wait! I forgot my juice!
Me: I’ll get it while I’m inside.
(I go back in the house to grab my stuff, and EK proceeds to scream her head off, yelling “Mommy!” about 20 times at the top of her lungs. When I got back…)
Me: Why in the world were you screaming?!
EK: I forgot my juice!
Me: You already told me, and I told you I’d get it. The neighbors don’t want to hear your screaming about something you already told me.
EK: Sorry I was screaming. Our strawberries would be scared. Our neighbors don’t want to hear that.

Me, creeping up on J: Boo!
J: Mom! Don’t scare me! You’re like a cricket!
Bugs clearly scare him.

Here’s a gem form my friend Ginna…
E: Mom! Shh. Listen!
(Toot.)
G: Did you just toot?
E: Yeah! (Giggle) Wasn’t it beautiful?

Hubby: I love you.
J, huffing and puffing like a teenager: I love YOU. I just TOLD you.

Hubby and I were talking about the location of our modem…
EK: Where’s the motor shelf?

Randomly, EK: I was a blue dog when I was a dog.

EK: What road is this? (Yes, we’re still doing that.)
Me: Archer.
EK: Oh! Like my friend and cousin Archer?

EK: Oh badda. (Instead of “of bother”.) That’s what Winnie the Pooh says when he has a problem!

After Hubby shaved his head…
EK: My daddy’s hair is so little!

I caught this the other night…

He was jabbering away on the “phone” while driving his trike around the basement. You know. Just regular stuff. He also has been using the garlic press as a phone… since that makes sense.

EK got out of bed last night saying she needed pancakes for breakfast. This isn’t unusual, but this time it was specifically asking for Daddy and Mommy to make special banana pancakes. At 9:37pm. IF YOU GET UP AGAIN THERE WILL BE NO PANCAKES. 

Well, that’s it for this week! What are your kiddos talking about?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Hey, Tuesday friends! We’ve had a crazy couple of weeks here, full of EK’s birthday celebrations, and a whirlwind trip to DisneyWorld, so I’ve been a little scattered and not writing things down as well as I normally do. BUT I do have some gems today, and here they are!

EK, coming upstairs when she should be taking a nap: I got a ‘prise for you!

The playground spoils were too good to wait till after her nap. She took them from her pocket (where they had been for several hours) and asked me to put them all in a bag together so we wouldn’t lose them.

Learning new words:
EK: I didn’t even notice my panties were stuck in my butt!
Me: That’s called a wedgie.

Parenting fail…
Necie takes a drink from a bottle of San Pellegrino.
J: Is that beer?
Necie: …No….? It’s water.

Heard from my bed in the morning…
J: Hellooooooo? Where aaaaaaaare you? Helloooooooo?! Anybody there?! HELLOOOOOOOO!
EK: Joe?
J: El’ Kate! (Runs back downstairs to start the day alongside his sister.)

Gross stuff…
EK: Mom, want to feel the crunchy on my swaddle?
Me: Ugh, no. That’s where you put it in your mouth. Ew.

When Hubby woke him from his nap…
J: I want Mama Necie.
(I’m not sure if he wanted me and Necie, or if he just came up with a new name for Necie.)

Necie: What did you do in DisneyWorld?
EK: I saw 39 princesses!

After riding the Seven Dwarves Mine Train (small roller coaster)….
Me: Did you like it?!
EK, eyes wide: No.  It was fast.

EK, as soon as Necie walks in our house: I want to ride in your car and go to your apartment!

J, randomly: One time I choked.

Playing with colored pencils…
J: Is this green?
(My mom and I are talking and don’t answer immediately.)
J: Somebody! Is this green?
Me: Yes. You knew that!
(J then starts asking whatever every single pencil, preceded by the word “somebody”.)

J: Look at my giraffe!

EK: Mom, our tattoos just hopped off our arms! (Fake ones, obviously, and after MANY washes.)

EK: Maybe one day we can go to NewYork, like Taylor Swift.

EK: Daddy, that was the goodest dinner I never had!

EK: Don’t leave me by myself or I would be only! (Obviously meaning lonely.)

EK: I just squeezed one out on to the table!
(She was eating edamame at a Thai restaurant, and squeezed the bean from the shell.)

And for his fiirst appearance… he’s not a toddler, but….

I’m pretty sure he’s saying: Give me more Thai food!

holidays, mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Short intro today, folks, because we are in DisneyWorld! So happy Tuesday and we will catch you up later! 

EK’s birthday prayer: Dear Jesus, thank you for my birthday. And I love you. And thank you for my presents. I’m sooooo glad it’s my birthday. Love you, Jesus. Amen.

EK got this awesome art set from my MIL:

 When she looked at the pencil sharpener, she said, “Oh, that’s what tells you what time it is.”

EK: Could you get the crumb out of my nose? Verrrrrry carefully.
A booger. It was a booger.

EK: Hey mom! You know what kind of monster I saw that was a person?! It was a BEAR!
Me: …

EK, looking at Sully from Monsters, Inc: Mom! It’s my daddy!
He went as Sully for Halloween one year that EK shouldn’t even remember.

EK: When I’m grown up, I will be just like you! I’ll wear special chappicks (Chapstick) and have wiiiiiinnnnnne.

EK refuses to call Arlo (the main dinosaur in The Good Dinosaur) anything but “she”. I’m pretty sure it’s a boy but she just refers to Arlo as a girl when she talks about it.

In the car on the way to the airport…
J: Where’s my Davis?
Me: Oh, look at the sunrise! Do you see how the sky is pink?
EK: Pink is my favorite color!
EK: Look! It’s the airplaneport!
EK took this from the plane:

We will have a talented photographer on our hands. Anyway, see ya when we are home!

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! It might be afternoon, but it’s still a good time for a few funnies! Hope you enjoy this week’s Things Toddlers Say! 

 Me: How did you get so smart?
EK: It’s cause I read so many books.
Me: Yes. Yes it is.

EK: If a monster was here, you could call an ambulance. Then they would come and make it go away. (makes the siren noise)
Me: We actually call the police to make scary or bad things go away. An ambulance is for when people are sick and need to go to the hospital.
EK: Oh no! Don’t get sick! I don’t wanna see an ambulance!

EK: I wanna watch menus!
Me, 20 minutes later: Oooooh, minions!

I was hearing J say, “Push me, mom!” from the hallway. When I went out to look, he was patiently waiting in his “boat.”

aka baby bathtub.

EK currently has an obsession with road names. It’s equal parts cute and sort annoying. When we’re in the car, she asks every 20 feet “what road this is”. The other morning, she was waiting for her grandmother to pick her up, peeking out the mail slot and saying, “There are so many cars driving on (our road) but none of them are Annie!”

J, unable to open the microwave: I can’t reach it, mommy!
Me, handing him the warm milk from inside: Here you go, sweetie.
J: Good job, mommy! You’re so big!
Me: Thanks, buddy.

J: Come on, EK! Come with me!
EK: Hang on a second, J. I’m getting all clothesed (pronounced closed) up.
Me: *die laughing*

J: I got enough dinner in the eat!

J, at bedtime, organizing his bed buddies: Frog- ribbit! Dog- woof! Buzz Lightyear- to the rescue!

Ever since Hubby made EK her “birdie nest” to sleep in on the floor at my mom’s house, she’s been obsessed with being a baby bird. She calls me “mama bird” and Hubby “daddy bird”. She tried to call J, “baby bird” and he said, “No! I’m a Joe Joe bird!” They, of course, don’t realize that I thought it was hilarious because it sounded like “do-do bird” when he said it.

We are in the car, and D is crying. J starts singing, “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.” repeatedly, to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle”.

Having dinner with friends…
EK, pointing at my bourbon and ginger ale: Mom, is that fire water?
Me: What?! Ryan, did you teach her that?!
Hubby: Uh, yeah.
Me: I’m not drinking moonshine!

Well, that’s it for now! Tomorrow is EK’s birthday, so we’ll have a special birthday edition next week!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! This past week, we traveled, made it home, and had a whirlwind of a weekend. This week is likely to be more of the same craziness. No matter how many times I think I don’t quite have enough for an entire post, those kids deliver, even when I feel like I’ve barely seen them. Anyway, here are the top funnies from our family this week- enjoy!

Me: Say cheese, Joe!
J: Cheese, Joe!

Shouting at EK…
J: SHUT your door and close your TEETH!

EK: When I wake up from my naps, I always fart!
No explanation needed.

EK: After bath I want to be a princess!
Hubby: After your bath you can put on pjs and be a princess in your heart.
EK: No! I want to be a princess with a dress on her back!

J, when Hubby walks into a room: Daddioooooo!

EK: Look, Mom! It’s my little teeny, little baby girl! (Shows me a doll.)
Me: Did you know that you’re my little teeny, little baby girl?
EK: Yeah. And when I was a baby, I went like this! (Pretends to be asleep.) And then when I got a shot, I went like this! (Cries really strangely, trying to sound like a baby.) And then you gave me a bottle, and I slowed down.
Me: Yes, you’re right. So, tell me about your baby.
EK: She is three. And after she is three, she will be five.
Me: Oh, that’s interesting…
EK: Yeah, and then four! And then one! And then thirty-five!
Me: Now that is very strange.
EK: Yeah! (Dissolves into giggles.)

The other day I heard J pounding the wall with something… 
As you might imagine, I wasn’t happy that it was the plug for the electric skillet.

Right before we went to see my family in GA, I came upon these things…
EK told met hay she had made “roll ups” for every member of my family (naming them all) and they were presents. I think at some point she had heard about tissue paper flowers, and downgraded to toilet paper roll ups. But her heart was in it.

I found this: 
I don’t have to explain why this pen is crushed.

J has been telling me that he turned his “sheem” off in the mornings. It’s taken me several days in a row to figure out he’s talking about his sound machine, because I recently gave him the special task of turning it off when he woke up.

Listening to “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” (from Toy Story, which my kids have seen several times)…
J: This is a cool song, Mom!
As if he’d never heard it before.

Well, that’s about it for the week. What are your kids talking about?