Tag Archives: funny

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! Summer is almost here! We are preparing for warm weather and sunshine at our house – how about you? Hope the funnies find you well and not too busy as school ends… Enjoy!

First thing in the morning…
D: Hi!
Hubby: Hi!
D: I poop!
Hubby: You sure did…

J: Look at my robots!
Me: How many eyes do your robots have?
J: This ones got a hundred and this one has two!

EK, giving the above plate of food to me: I know that looks like a regular egg, but it’s actually an Australia egg.

EK: ACHOO!
Me: Who sneezed?
EK: It was just a tree outside.
Me: A tree sneezed?
EK: Yeah! How magical is that?!

J: I can’t reach!
Me: Be there in one second!
J: Okay, I’ll count to one. Five, four, three, two, one!

Overheard from the back of the car…
J: We can’t see Jesus because he’s hiding in our hearts.

EK, running up to me, crying: Mom! I falled while we were playing risbeef!
She meant frisbee. And I was trying so hard not to laugh at her pain.

EK got in our bed at 3:00am and after several minutes of no one sleeping…
Me: It’s time to go back and get in your own bed.
EK: Will you carry me?
Me: *picks her up and heads for the stairs*
EK: I just couldn’t sleep because you and Daddy kept moving your legs around.
Me: You know that we didn’t ask you to get in our bed, right?

EK: Ladies and gentlemen! The dangerous volcano is interrupting five minutes! Please stay away so you do not get hurt! Five, four, three, two, one!

J: I found a microbot (from Big Hero 6) on EK’s purse!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Good morning and happy Tuesday! I hope everyone had a lovely Mother’s Day! We definitely had a great day – I was resting up after the race, and we visited Hubby’s mom, had dinner out with some friends, and topped it off with gelato. I call that a good day! Here are this week’s funny quotations from the kids. Enjoy!

One evening, we saw this beautiful sunset with the rays coming out…IMG_3866EK: It’s Jesus! His light is there!
J: I see his arm right there!

D comes to me, holding The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Me: It’s a book about the caterpillar!
D: Meoooowwww!
Me: Very close.

EK: Oh no! There’s a fire ant!
Me: Just flick it off the porch.
EK: But what if it STINGS me?! It’s the kind!

Talking about riding her plasma car in the yard, EK: That was. So. Darn. Fun!

EK, talking about my race: There might be bugs.
Me: Yeah, I hope they don’t bite me.
EK: You’ll be going so fast, they won’t even be able to.
Me: *glowing*

J, on Mothers Day cards: I don’t know how to make a card! It’s so hard for a baby or even a kid!

EK wanders upstairs at 11:30pm: Dad, I left my bunny outside. Can I go get it?
Hubby: I’ll make sure it gets back inside.
EK: But I’m worried that an owl will get it and feed it to its owl babies!
Hubby: But it’s a stuffed bunny. It’ll be okay.

J and D were having a tiff, and J finally hit D. EK walked away from the fight and said, “That’s on you, buddy.”

Hubby made homemade pizza…
J: This green stuff in the pizza that I don’t want to eat is mint. Can you say mint?
Me: Actually, I think it’s arugula. Can you say arugula?
J: Arugula! Great!

Me: I’m glad you guys didn’t watch any tv today. It’s good for you to do without tv sometimes.
J: Ha! Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Me: *fearing teenage years*

What have your kids said recently about each other? Do you have any funny sayings from Mother’s Day?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, y’all! It’s a great day to share some silly things my kids have been saying. We spent a few days in Charleston for a wedding this past weekend (I’ll be posting about the trip soon!) so lots of these are travel-related – enjoy our funnies!

We are driving past the local baseball stadium…
J: There’s the baseball game! Is anyone playing?
EK: I don’t see anyone!
Me: Yeah, it looks like our team is playing at another team’s stadium today.
J: But it’s such a nice day to play outside.

EK at the aquarium: Look Mom! Alive fish!
Me: That’s why we’re here!

J: Can I look inside your mouth and see what you got?
Hubby: *opens mouth*
J: Hmm. You got a hundred of bof teef.

J: What is orange?
Me: It’s either a color or a fruit.
J: It’s a color!
Me: Well, it’s also a fruit.

EK at my friend Sydney’s house for dinner…
Sydney: Did you know your mom and I have been friends since before you were born?
EK: *dead pan* I don’t believe you.
Sydney: Here’s a picture! (shows her an incriminating picture from 2008)
EK: *straight face*
Later…
EK: I don’t like this (fruit salad).
Sydney: Did you try it?
EK: No. My mommy says I don’t have to try things I don’t want to try and I don’t want to disobey her.
Sydney: …..
(That, of course, was pure manipulation and not true.)


Me: What did you build, bud?
J: My town-city!
Me: That’s a really cool city!
J: No, it’s a TOWN-CITY!
Me: Alright. Town-city.

EK in the car: J! Look out your window! There’s a stack of train cars!

D, looking out the window: Where my moon?

J, crying in the back of the car…
Me: What’s wrong, bud?
J: My swaddle is being rude to meeeeee!

J: I haf a hundred cheeses ’cause I’m so hungry!

J’s current confusion: Moles vs. Molars. He’s unsure which is which.

Whelp, that’s it for today! Do you have anything funny your kids say that you can share?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday! Here we are again, celebrating the little hilarities of life with toddlers. I’ve got a bunch of funnies from J again this week – enjoy!

 

Me: J, would you like this Avengers shirt?
J: Well, I doooo like it, but I’d really like something else.

J reading through Dr. Seuss’s Wacky Wednesday: Woah, woah, woah. That is NOT good.

D to J, who happened to be in trouble: No! No, J! ‘Pank! No!
Me and Hubby: ……


J, above: I have a dino-snore on my shirt! Like Daddy snores!

D: *cries*
EK, before anyone says anything: I didn’t do anything!

J: I feel the taste of it, Mom! What is it?!
Me: ….an orange…?

J trying to say ambulance: ambwe, ayam, ambleeyance?

J ran upstairs during bedtime…
Hubby: Where’d you run off to?
J: I just gotted to get some sippin’ water.

J, looking at my necklace: Did your husband get that for you?

J has been talking to his aunt Holly for a while. I come back in the room and he asks me: How many molars do you have, Mom?

J and me, using the blender and he says: It looks like a whirlpool!
Me: Wow. That was a really good word.

J, talking about my running leggings: You look so cute in those black pants, Mom!
Me: *winning*

Annie to EK: We need to talk about something very important before our naps.
EK: That Jesus is alive?

D’s new favorite words: Bok bok (like a chicken) and Hei Hei, Manana (Moana), and Maaaai (Maui). He loves the movie Moana.

J told me he wanted a banana. I told him wait just a sec. There was a step stool underneath this:EK: Nella, the princess knight is who I am!
Me: I am literally the proudest I’ve ever been.

Well, there ya go, Tuesday. I hope it brightened your day! Do you have some silly sayings of your kids that you could share??

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

HEY! It’s Wednesday, but I’m allowed to be a day late for TTS on vacation, right? It’s our spring break and we’re doing mountainy things! So here is a little humor for your week, and sorry it’s a bit late. Enjoy!

D was trying to climb a rope ladder at the playground…
J: You can do it, D! I know you can!

Hubby and I hear J talking (he was “reading aloud”) downstairs after bedtime…
Hubby: Hey, why is your light on? You’re supposed to be sleeping.
J: Go away, Dad. I just wanna do what I wanna do.

At bath time, EK pitched a fit about getting in the tub. When she finally got in, she said to J: Please don’t splash me. I’m just so sad.

EK wanted me to sing some Taj Mahal at bedtime the other night, and I told her I didn’t know the words. So she sang it.

 

Wise words…
J: After a day and another day, things get old.

Talking about her loose teeth…
EK: I sleep on my eyes so I don’t swallow them.

EK, randomly: Oh, mom. The scissors are in my room because there was a lollipop and I needed them to open it.

EK: Can I have another hot dog and some more of those little chickens?
Me: Those were tater tots.

EK’s picture of my new hair. Spot on. 

Now, I know her drawing is crumpled but I had to show you that “ballerina EK” is shaped a lot like ballerina Olivia. 

J: How many are you?
Me: 31.
J: How many are you, Dad?
Hubby: 31.
J: Two 31s?! You must be twins!
Me: Nope nope nope.

J: Mom! The red is light! Oops. I mean, the light is red!

J: You know why I threw rocks at the river? I was tryna feed it.

Hope you enjoyed our funnies! Have a great week!

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, one and all! Spring has sprung here in our house, and we’re obsessed with all that comes with it! Enjoy our funny little sayings!

J, holding his ukulele and wearing his backpack: I’m going to my gig, mom!

J: *tells same story about a robot on our porch he’s been telling for months*
EK: Why do you keep telling that same story, J?
J: I just love stories about robots!

At EK’s preschool music performance…
J: Can I go up there?!
Me: It’ll be your turn next year.
J: I guess I want to go home then.

Talking about Moana…
EK: Okay. Now let’s talk about the waves. (Cue ten excruciating minutes laboring over why the waves moved of their own accord.)

EK: What are you making mama?
Me: Brownies!
EK: You’re just like Lala! (My bestie who always makes sweet treats)

EK: Can I watch you make your coffee in that golden jar, Dad?
This is the golden jar:(It’s a French press.)

Passing the baseball stadium…
EK: You said the baseball opens in April. Is it April?
Me: No, it’s still March.
EK: Okay. I’ll ask you every day, “Is it April yet?” and you’ll tell me when it is. Okay?
Me: …okay…

Holiday mix-up…
EK: You know what’s my favorite month to set up for Easter? March 27!
Me: Wait. What?

EK and I are singing Moana for the hundredth time…
J: You guys! You’re making me annoying myself!

Hope you enjoyed our funnies! What silly things are your kids saying these days?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

1 Comment

Happy Tuesday, y’all! In case you don’t know this already, every Tuesday, I post some hilarious or really cute things my kiddos have said during the week. Right now, here are their ages: EK is almost 5, J is 3, and D is 1.5, so his contributions are minimal. So, here are a few of them from this week! Enjoy!

EK: Can we marry our brothers?
Me: No, we don’t marry the people in our families.
EK: We have to marry someone we don’t know?
Me: Not necessarily. You could marry someone you know already or you might meet them when you’re older.
I was scared what that conversation would turn into.

EK: While we’re at school, do you do your reading and then pick up the sticks?
Me: Yep. Sometimes I do those things.
I’m dying because picking up sticks from the lawn is her outdoor job sometimes. She clearly thinks I do it while she’s not around.

EK: Would you like to try this bell pepper? It’s really spicy.
Me: Bell peppers aren’t actually very spicy.
EK: Yeah, this bell pepper is sweet and comfortable, right Mom?

EK, holding a spoon to D: Carrot?
D: No!
EK: Come on! It’s juicy, it’s sweet, it’s a carrot!

Things a guitarist’s daughter says…
EK: Dad, I gathered all your picks so that D won’t eat them.

All day on Friday (St. Patrick’s Day)…
EK: Happy Mattress Day!

J, professing his love: I like you, Mom. I really like you.

The creepiest thing J will ever say to EK: Baby, come here! Daddy gots you a present! (I’m sure it was related to playing “family” which they often do, but it sounded so creepy.)

EK hands me the ruffle that goes on a sunhat: Here, Mom. It tenaches. (Attaches)

J, pointing at my sis-in-law holding my niece: Are you holding the baby girl princess?

What are your kiddos saying these days?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a windy, strange weather type of day here, so a little humor might make us all feel better! Here is a sampling of what my kids have been saying this week…

EK: I want to be a river for Halloween! (Very serious.)

EK: This tooth is about to come out!
Me: Really? Yep, it’s wiggly!
EK: I think it was that pork belly I was eating for lunch. (We had pork belly tacos.)

EK: What car will I drive when I’m an adult?
Me: I don’t know; we’ll have to see.
EK: Maybe I’ll just ride on the green bus.
(Our city buses here are green.)

Me: Did you miss me while I was gone?
J: Kind of.

Me, leaving for a run: Okay, I’m going now. The quicker I go, the quicker I get back!
J, shouting out the door: The quicker you go, be safe on your run!

Me, taking a sip of my wine: As whites go, this one’s not too bad.
J, taking a sip of his water: This water’s not too cold with the ice.

J: I gotta go to the dentist because my teef hurt.
Me: Let me see, bud.
J: *opens mouth where I can only see the front of his bottom teeth*

EK: Tomorrow is Sunday!
Our friend Samuel: What do you do on Sunday?
EK: Put on a dress! And go potty!
Me: *dying*

Talking about the Curious George Halloween special that the bigs are obsessed with…
J, running around in circles: Oh no! No-Noggin is so scary! I don’t know which way to hide from him!!

Speaking of this, J has become quite the story teller. He weaves tales about tooth fairies (with very little understanding about how that works), keys breaking off in doors, and chocolate-eating.

Me, about a dress-up dress: This dress has been through the wringer.
EK: No, my ring is downstairs.

J, hanging out of his classroom, seeing me walk down the hall to pick him up: Mom! It’s me! Your sweet son!

J: What if it was a dinosaur? Or a dinosaurus?!

EK: Mom, when you went to colletch (not college lol) did you have to get on a plane?
Me: No, I just drove in my car.

EK: Can we get on a plane and go back to DisneyWorld?
Me: We will go back sometime.
J: Yeah, we will just have to drove there.

EK: Next time we play hide and seek, in gonna hide in the fridgelator!

J: We just went over some speed bumps!
EK: Wait! How did you remember those were speed bumps?!

EK: We’re home! I see Daddy’s car and the cannolia tree!
Me: I wish cannolis grew on trees.

Hope you enjoyed our humor for the week! What do your kids say that’s a little off?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, everyone! EK and I are in Georgia with my family, but there are still some funnies here! Enjoy your Tuesday!

EK: How did she get you in her belly?
Me: What?
EK: Necie. How did she get you in her belly so you could be born?
Me: *oh no, oh no* Well… she got pregnant.
EK: Pregnant? Well how did you get out? Did they tear her belly and let you out?
Me: Uh, well, she went to the hospital to get me out.
EK: *tries to keep going*
Me: SO WHAT did you learn at school today, sweetie?!

J at bedtime: Will you sing about pineapple tree?
Me: I don’t think I know that one.
J: It goes like this: Pineapple tree, pineapple tree, pineapple tree, tomorroooooow! (In a very melodic voice I might add.) Now you do it!
Me: Well, I think it sounds great when you do it.
J: *repeats song*

EK and J have been making “birthday cakes” out of these manipulatives. EK made one on my bedroom floor, and J came in and saw it…J: Oh, Daddy! What a lovely cake!

J in the car one day, giggling his butt off: The ocean is made out of cookie butts!

Talking about our trip to my parents’ house before we left…
Hubby: What do you want to do there? Want to go shopping?
EK: Yeah! At the food store! In case they don’t have food and need it!

While EK and I were gone, J managed to cut his pinky finger on something. Hubby woke up to him very matter-of-factly telling him that he was bleeding. When I was FaceTiming him later that morning, he described what happened liked this: Well I was in D’s room. And I  smashed it! I smashed my promise finger on the black and grey fing. The rectangle. And then I was bleeding on the floor! And I just smashed my little piggy and I came upstairs. (Yes, “promise finger” and “little piggy” are words used to describe his pinky finger.)

mommyhood

Things Toddlers Say 

Leave a comment

Happy Tuesday, all! Besides the adorable yoga photo, there are some other funnies here to brighten your day. Enjoy!


Necie: You have on shoes but no pants?
J: Yeah. Like EK did it. I did what she did.
(She was wearing a dress.)

Me: Are you upset, bud?
J: I’m just mad at everybody.
EK: That means you’re mad at me!
J: Not a funny joke!

EK: I’m not tired!
Necie: Yes you are… I can see it.
EK: I was just frownding.


J: Can you get me more card moneys?


EK is working on her drawing skills.

EK: I want to listen to Moana.
Me: Well, I put on the Disney radio, so whatever comes up is what we’ll hear.
EK, making her justification: It’s cloudy enough. We can listen to Moana.

J finishes his breakfast in record time.
Me: Wow! Would you like some more eggs?
J: Not exactly… (walks away)
Me: Okay, then.

J: Ahhh! He’s gonna stole this from me! (Runs away from D)

J, grunting and trying to pick up D: Here, Mom! Here’s the biggest boy you never haved before!

After putting him down twice and thinking I’ve finally gotten him to stay…
Me: Good night, babe.
J: Good night. I guess I am a liddle sleepy. (Followed by a dramatic but genuine yawn)

D has some new words, too! Here they are: no, bye bye, G-dah (what he’s calling my dad), Neenee (what he calls my mom AND hubby’s mom), night night, water, shoes, pants, nose, go (because he loves going wherever J and EK go), down (doesn’t like the high chair if he’s eaten what he considers to be enough) and yeaahhhh! And did I mention “no”? He says that one most of all.

Who else’s kids love saying no to everything? Will it ever stop?!