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mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hello and happy Tuesday! After a fun (and admittedly emotional) weekend of the tiniest member of our family turning ONE, I’m ready for some humor! Hope you enjoy these funnies!

EK on public toilets: These aren’t so loud as blenders.

Me: Let’s get you some shorts, buddy.
J: I don’t want some shorts. I’ve got some legs.

EK approaches J to apologize for biting him (I know- it was a whole thing).
J: I’m sorry you bited me on the arm. Can you give me a hug and a kiss now?
EK, turning to Hubby: Did you hear that?
Hubby: I did. Why don’t you do that?
EK: I’m sorry, J. (Gives him a hug.)

EK has a gown with a bunch of female superheroes on it. She came upstairs after getting ready for bed while we had friends over…
EK to the room at large: There’s no boys in my nightgown. (Not a typo.)
Sam: Keep it that way.

J, all day long: Can you say, “Yes I can have some candy?”
Me: *giant eye roll*

J, picking up a phone: Hello, Lucy. It’s Gru.

EK singing “Jesus Loves Me”
J: Stop singing, EK!
Me: It’s okay if EK is singing.
J: (Sigh!) It’s okay if you sing the Bible, EK.

This very concerned helper…J: Mom! I’m fixing Diesel! (Because that plastic wrench is actually going to help whatever the problem is.)

EK: I don’t like ranch (dressing).
J: I do!

My friend sent me this gem. They were on a chair lift at a theme park…
S: Look how high we are! It looks like we’re a hundred years old!

While EK was with her grandmother…
EK sees the picture of herself as a baby, in a bikini at the beach.
EK exclaims: Oh how cute!
Annie: Do you know who it is?
EK: No.
Annie: It’s you!
EK puts her hand to her chest and says: Oh… that makes me so happy – I am going to cry!

J has had several booboos recently, and calls Band-Aids “ban-dangs”. I die every time.

So what are your kiddos talking about? Any hilarious mispronunciations?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! I have a few sillies for you this week! Hope you enjoy!


EK: I need to tell you stumping. Come wif me.

EK: Are we having dumplings for dinner?
Hubby: Yep!
EK: I don’t have time for dumplings. I have time for sushi, for lettuce, or cucumber…

Housekeeping fail…
J: Mommyyyyy! There’s ants! They’re trying to get my noodles! (That he had spilled at lunch. Oops.)

Me: Babe, what time is it?
Hubby: (doesn’t hear me)
J: I fink it’s six zero.

EK: I’m Queen Elsa!
J: I’m Queen Batman.
Me: Oh yes you are.

This one time, I was talking to Hubby and used “stupid” in a sentence.
EK: Stupid is not a good word.
Me: You’re right, babe.
EK: You could use another word instead. Like, sweet.
Me: Well, those are not really words that mean the same thing.
EK: Then you could use other words. Like house. Or train, turtle, or truck!
Me: Well… Alliteration!

J, coming in my room in the morning: Are you a sleepy little guy, Mommy?

J, dragging a spaghetti noodle across the table: Choo Choo! Spaghetti train to my mouth!

My big kids still like to drink warm milk out of sippy cups at their naps. EK has been drinking less and less, which is totally fine. But now, she wants to look at the side of the cup, and tell me the number to which she’d like her milk to go (aka how many ounces). The other day, she pitched a total fit because she’d asked for two, and it was at three. Then, after crying, she drank it all and came upstairs and asked for nine (she hasn’t finished nine ounces in months). I told her that would be too much, so we settled for five. She’s becoming quite the diva.

A couple of funnies from EK’s weekend away that were passed along to me…
EK: I sure do wish that sun would have come with us on the boat.
Laura: I think it did. Look up there.
EK: Well, look at that!

EK: Laura, I think I’d prefer to eat this brownie on your lap.

After EK’s weekend at the lake…
Hubby: I missed you!
EK: I miss-ed (both syllables pronounced) you too! I’m so glad to be back in North Carolina! (She had never left the state.)
Hubby: You mean back home?
EK: Yeah. Back home, in my house, with my parents.

EK sings this song: Jesus, Jesus! Jesus in the morning! Jesus in the noon time! Jesus, Jesus! Jesus when the sun goes down!
J responds: No! Sun comes up! Jesus when da sun comes up!

J had a playdate with his friend A yesterday, and they were so cute. They had a nice mixture of sharing well and arguing over stuff. At the end, A said: And we are friends! I just thought it was adorable.

New random word choice: instead of “a little bit”, EK and J are using the word “tiny”. Examples: I’m tiny hot. And: I’m tiny thirsty. Also, J asked me to sing the “tiny ABC’s”, and he meant in a squeaky, high-pitched voice.

Do your kids have any strangely placed words? Or words they use incorrectly?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Glad to bring back the weekly funnies! This one is long since it’s got a few from the previous week as well… Enjoy!

J, with coins in his hand: I got da monies!

J: Mom! EK’s drawing on she’s leg! (She’s is a substitute for her.)

Sitting at a nice restaurant for lunch…
EK: I want nuggets and fries and a taco for lunch, please.

Out on the porch…
J: I saw an ant, Mom! So I flicked it, right into the garden!
EK: Yeah! I gave my ant a spanking and put it in the crash can!

Leaving preschool…
J: Look, mom! There’s a bird! I wanna give it a kiss.

Hubby takes off J’s shirt, and he points at his tummy…
J: That’s my tummy aches daddy!
Hubby: What?
J: My tummy aches! (He pulls up Hubby’s shirt) Can I see your tummy aches?

J, coming out of his room after nap: Good morning, D! Good morning, EK! I had a nice nap.

EK, complimenting Hubby: You’re like Prince Charlie! (It took us several minutes to realize she meant Prince Charming.)

Hubby: How’s your taco?
J: Yummy! It’s like a chip!

EK had been pestering me to pay attention to her (I was working) and I had been telling her to wait a few minutes for, well, a few minutes. Finally, I said, “Yes?” She responded, “I was just wondering if we could have a tea party one day this week, Thursday or Wednesday maybe? Just whatever day I don’t have church or school. I could look at my calendar and see what’s going on?” And obviously, I responded, “…..Um, yes. I’d like that. Any day you want…”

Every time I change J’s diaper: Can I see da poopy, Mommy?

Snapshots of while we were gone…

Swinging with Uncle Cameron…
J: Push me! (Wait) Stop! (Wait) Okay, push me. Slowly!

EK is screaming at the dinner table…
Cameron: If you’re going to scream, go downstairs. If you want to eat with us, don’t scream.
EK: Necie, Cameron’s being mean to me!

Me: Did you go to school while I was gone?
EK: Yeah. And I stayed for lunch bunch. Necie gave me some money and I gave it to my teacher.

Necie: J just woke up. Do you want to put away the play doh?
EK: No, J loves play doh. I want to share it with him because I love him.

I thought those were all pretty good this week! What are your kids saying? Anyone else’s boy interested in seeing his poop? BLERG.

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey, Tuesday! I can’t believe you’ve come back around again. Since you’re here, how about some sillies?

EK speaking to the waitress at the restaurant with Annie: Will you please bring me some ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles?
Girl knows what she wants.

Mothers’ Day shopping with Annie…
EK: You’re a mother! We should get you a present, too!

I wasn’t present for this one:
Hubby: …unless you’d like to take your nap at Annie’s house.
Annie: That’s alright with me.
EK: Well, we’ll have to ask Ryan’s wife first.

Annie: Is Finley your friend?
J: No! He’s my best friend.

Happening in the back seat of the car…
EK: Okay, I say “no” and you say “yeah”… No!
J: Yayeah!

J, when I went to wake him up: Mom! I can’t find my Sully anywhere!

EK: Can I have your avocado?
Jan: Sure!
EK: Wait! Don’t give it to me yet… Can I please have some of your avocado?
How very polite she’s become.

EK: Daddy, you like spicy food.
Hubby: I sure do.
EK: Yeah, but the kiddos don’t.

EK: Mommy, you’re gonna be at Lauren’s work soon. (She’s a PA.)
Me: I don’t really plan on being at Lauren’s work, no.
EK: You will. Bery, bery soon.
How does she know?!

In the corner of the living room, crouching beside the sofa…
J: I hidin’, Mom! I hidin’ right here!

EK had been procrastinating bedtime, using the bathroom, asking for snuggles, etc. My aunt (who was with her) finally laid down with her…
Jan: I’ll snuggle you for two minutes. And then, I have to go. If your mom sees me in here, she’s going to be upset.
EK: Yeah. She may call the police. And the police will come take you away. Go back to your room right now!
Jan: Right now?
EK: Yes! Because the police might come!

Milkshake wisdom:
EK: It’s good to have a blanket when you’re drinking a milkshake on the couch.
Seems legit.

That’s it for the week. There was more, but I just can’t write everything down! It’s too much. You’d be flooded with hilarity, and that’s not good for the rest of your life. Everything else wouldn’t be as funny. Have a good week!

home, mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everybody! It’s been warm and lovely here in NC – you know, when it isn’t raining – and we’ve been enjoying outdoor time as much as we can! We’ve had a nice time with family and friends, and we are gearing up for a great last couple of weeks of school. Here are a few funnies from this week!!

So I do this thing when we are all getting ready to leave where I put the kids in the car, crank it up, and then get my last few things together while they’re already tied down. The other morning, this happened:
EK, as in strapping her in: Wait! I forgot my juice!
Me: I’ll get it while I’m inside.
(I go back in the house to grab my stuff, and EK proceeds to scream her head off, yelling “Mommy!” about 20 times at the top of her lungs. When I got back…)
Me: Why in the world were you screaming?!
EK: I forgot my juice!
Me: You already told me, and I told you I’d get it. The neighbors don’t want to hear your screaming about something you already told me.
EK: Sorry I was screaming. Our strawberries would be scared. Our neighbors don’t want to hear that.

Me, creeping up on J: Boo!
J: Mom! Don’t scare me! You’re like a cricket!
Bugs clearly scare him.

Here’s a gem form my friend Ginna…
E: Mom! Shh. Listen!
(Toot.)
G: Did you just toot?
E: Yeah! (Giggle) Wasn’t it beautiful?

Hubby: I love you.
J, huffing and puffing like a teenager: I love YOU. I just TOLD you.

Hubby and I were talking about the location of our modem…
EK: Where’s the motor shelf?

Randomly, EK: I was a blue dog when I was a dog.

EK: What road is this? (Yes, we’re still doing that.)
Me: Archer.
EK: Oh! Like my friend and cousin Archer?

EK: Oh badda. (Instead of “of bother”.) That’s what Winnie the Pooh says when he has a problem!

After Hubby shaved his head…
EK: My daddy’s hair is so little!

I caught this the other night…

He was jabbering away on the “phone” while driving his trike around the basement. You know. Just regular stuff. He also has been using the garlic press as a phone… since that makes sense.

EK got out of bed last night saying she needed pancakes for breakfast. This isn’t unusual, but this time it was specifically asking for Daddy and Mommy to make special banana pancakes. At 9:37pm. IF YOU GET UP AGAIN THERE WILL BE NO PANCAKES. 

Well, that’s it for this week! What are your kiddos talking about?

holidays, mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Short intro today, folks, because we are in DisneyWorld! So happy Tuesday and we will catch you up later! 

EK’s birthday prayer: Dear Jesus, thank you for my birthday. And I love you. And thank you for my presents. I’m sooooo glad it’s my birthday. Love you, Jesus. Amen.

EK got this awesome art set from my MIL:

 When she looked at the pencil sharpener, she said, “Oh, that’s what tells you what time it is.”

EK: Could you get the crumb out of my nose? Verrrrrry carefully.
A booger. It was a booger.

EK: Hey mom! You know what kind of monster I saw that was a person?! It was a BEAR!
Me: …

EK, looking at Sully from Monsters, Inc: Mom! It’s my daddy!
He went as Sully for Halloween one year that EK shouldn’t even remember.

EK: When I’m grown up, I will be just like you! I’ll wear special chappicks (Chapstick) and have wiiiiiinnnnnne.

EK refuses to call Arlo (the main dinosaur in The Good Dinosaur) anything but “she”. I’m pretty sure it’s a boy but she just refers to Arlo as a girl when she talks about it.

In the car on the way to the airport…
J: Where’s my Davis?
Me: Oh, look at the sunrise! Do you see how the sky is pink?
EK: Pink is my favorite color!
EK: Look! It’s the airplaneport!
EK took this from the plane:

We will have a talented photographer on our hands. Anyway, see ya when we are home!

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! This past week, we traveled, made it home, and had a whirlwind of a weekend. This week is likely to be more of the same craziness. No matter how many times I think I don’t quite have enough for an entire post, those kids deliver, even when I feel like I’ve barely seen them. Anyway, here are the top funnies from our family this week- enjoy!

Me: Say cheese, Joe!
J: Cheese, Joe!

Shouting at EK…
J: SHUT your door and close your TEETH!

EK: When I wake up from my naps, I always fart!
No explanation needed.

EK: After bath I want to be a princess!
Hubby: After your bath you can put on pjs and be a princess in your heart.
EK: No! I want to be a princess with a dress on her back!

J, when Hubby walks into a room: Daddioooooo!

EK: Look, Mom! It’s my little teeny, little baby girl! (Shows me a doll.)
Me: Did you know that you’re my little teeny, little baby girl?
EK: Yeah. And when I was a baby, I went like this! (Pretends to be asleep.) And then when I got a shot, I went like this! (Cries really strangely, trying to sound like a baby.) And then you gave me a bottle, and I slowed down.
Me: Yes, you’re right. So, tell me about your baby.
EK: She is three. And after she is three, she will be five.
Me: Oh, that’s interesting…
EK: Yeah, and then four! And then one! And then thirty-five!
Me: Now that is very strange.
EK: Yeah! (Dissolves into giggles.)

The other day I heard J pounding the wall with something… 
As you might imagine, I wasn’t happy that it was the plug for the electric skillet.

Right before we went to see my family in GA, I came upon these things…
EK told met hay she had made “roll ups” for every member of my family (naming them all) and they were presents. I think at some point she had heard about tissue paper flowers, and downgraded to toilet paper roll ups. But her heart was in it.

I found this: 
I don’t have to explain why this pen is crushed.

J has been telling me that he turned his “sheem” off in the mornings. It’s taken me several days in a row to figure out he’s talking about his sound machine, because I recently gave him the special task of turning it off when he woke up.

Listening to “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” (from Toy Story, which my kids have seen several times)…
J: This is a cool song, Mom!
As if he’d never heard it before.

Well, that’s about it for the week. What are your kids talking about?

food, home, mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a bit short this week (I spent the better part of two days not hanging out with anyone much since I had the stomach bug) but still good! Hope your enjoy the funny things my kids are saying!


EK was so excited to get my attention and show me this “delicious ballet”. I think she may have meant “delicious display”. Still unsure.    

Eating homemade paella…
J: This is chicken and rice!
EK: No it’s paella!
J: Pallela?!

Bedtime stalling on a new level…
EK: I saw a spider in my room!
(10 minute rant from Hubby about how spiders are good, not scary, and they eat other bugs that we don’t like.)
EK comes back: I saw a spider in my room! He was eating a cracker!
Me: *face palm*

J’s new favorite thing to talk about: his scrape. He fell in the parking lot on the way into church one day, and Hubby introduced him to the word “scrape”. He is now obsessed with it, and it sounds a lot like “grape”. He is also very concerned with getting kisses to make it feel better… from everyone. I don’t know what he’ll talk about when his hand heals.

Preparing for  our walk the other day, the mailman happened to be at our mailbox when we walked out the door…
EK: Mom! Look at that email man! (Chuckling)
A minute later when we walked by the mailbox…
EK: Mom! You didn’t check your email!

My mom called D a “drool bucket”. I don’t even think EK was in the room at the time. But I hear her, hours later, singing a song to the tune of “Are You Sleeping?” about “Drool Bucket Davis”.

Sitting at dinner, J reaches his hand toward me and says, “I can’t reach you! I need to reach you!” When I leaned over to him, he gently touched my face, then put his arm around my neck. Oh wow, am I in for it.

EK: Necie! Have you noticed that the dentist lady brought me a new toothbrush?!
That happened weeks ago. And she doesn’t even use that one.

So let’s hear it: what’s the funniest thing your kids have said recently?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Y’all. I was talking with my friend Andrea last night, and we decided that pretty much every single thing that comes out of EK’s mouth is a hilarious one-liner. In five minutes, she said enough hilariously random things to fill up an entire post. But catching (and recording) every single thing she says is impossible, so alas… I’ve only got the highlights. SO. Here they are!

EK, unprompted: When I was a baby, I pooped, and it was YUCKY!

EK: I had yummy snack at school today, but I only ate the cupcake. I didn’t eat the chicka chicka boom boom popcorn.
An hour later, I realized she meant Boom Chicka Pop.

At dinner one night:
EK: Mom, make sure you eat all your steak and drink all your wine.
Me: Noted.

Showing me this picture:

Me: I like that rainbow on the side! And is that a cabana on the beach?
EK: No, it’s a toot.
Me: A tutu?
EK: Nope, a toot. On the beach!

The same night…
Me: How many layers of lip gloss did you just put on?!?!
EK: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! I just wanted to be really sparkly.

Important conversations with our friends…
EK: Drew, do you love your mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, I do.
EK: Does Lauren love her mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, she does.
EK: Well I love myself. And even, you can love yourself or your neighbor!

The problem with choosing your outfits…
EK: I want to wear my new dress!
Me: Okay, but when we go to he playground, we should probably wear something else.
EK: I don’t want to go to the playground.
Me: Well, we made plans for everyone to go to the playground, and we’ve already told them all.
EK: I want someone to come sitter me while you go to the playground.

J’s new thing: “Go away.”  It’s used as a response to being asked to do something, being told it’s time to go/go to bed, when his sister appears, or when he is unhappy about anything else.

J, swirling his blanket around and growling: Did you saw that?!

J’s word for trash can: crash chan

EK stalling bedtime in an unprecedented stream of consciousness: Can you pray to Jesus while you sleep? You two (Hubby and me), you pray to Jesus while you sleep and I will and then J will. And D when he watches us do it will do it too. And he will get big like you and you and pick me up, because he’s pretty small yet. Wait! I have something to tell you. I want special drinks in the morning… (whispering) hot chocolate… And a giant cupcape. To eat.

EK on breakfast: I need to drink my smoothie so I’ll be big like you. If I don’t, I’ll turn small like D.

EK on growing up: I want to be a mommy like you! And J can be the daddy, and D will be our baby!

EK’s term for “That’s interesting!” is “That’s entering!” She’s used it at least a hundred times in the past two days.

What hilarious things do your kids say? What phrases are they stuck on?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday! I don’t know about you, but yesterday was the most underwhelming snow day there ever was. We sledded approximately four times, and the ground was showing through. It was a huge disappointment, especially considering how cold it still was. Anyway, here’s a bit of humor from our week! 

 Me to Hubby: I’ve got rehearsal tonight.
EK: I’m going to really miss you while you’re at horsell tonight.

Me: Stop! I’ve got a cramp in my foot!
J: You gotta crap in your foot?

EK: Does J have school today?
Me: Yes, you both have school, and I have work today.
EK: And Daddy has work to clean up the kitchen?
Dying.

I found EK’s sippy cup in her underwear drawer in her room. When I asked her about it, she just said she needed somewhere to put it.

EK, trying to play pretend: J, you’re going to be my sister.
J: I not a sister. I Joseph!!

Every time I turn on Disney’s Robinhood (the animated one), J says, “The Jungle!” which is what he calls Jungle Book. I suppose talking animals all seem the same to him.

EK: Look, Mommy! I’m gonna do something so cool!
I’m pretty sure this isn’t what it’s made to do.

J: Mommy! I’m a princess! 
Oh yes, of course. That’s a beautiful dress, J.

EK: I have a baby in my tummy!
Hubby: Oh yeah? Who’s the father?

Ek’s Sofia figurine was in the middle of the floor, and Hubby stepped on it. He exclaims, “Agh! Sofia the worst!” So naturally, I launched into a rousing rendition of that song from Robinhood that all the animals sing: “Too late to be known as John the First, he’s sure to be known as John the Worst! A pox on the phony king of England!” Except I sang, “She’d like to be known as Sofia the First, but she will be known as Sofia the Worst!” J burst out laughing (he had just woken from his nap), and I asked him if he thought it was funny. He got really serious, and said, “No!” as if he was upset I had offended Sofia.

Overheard while my big kids were playing together…
EK: We can do it! I know we can!
She’s such an encourager.

As J chases EK around the kitchen…
EK: Daddy! Help! Can you save your baby squirrel from my mean old Joseph?!

So what are you kids saying these days?