In honor of proving that I didn’t boycott Valentine’s Day, here are a few (a lot of) photos from the last few days!
EK’s outfit for her preschool Valentine’s party. Heart. Explosion.Getting together with friends to make gluten and dairy free cupcakes for our valentines!We thought they were pretty adorable.Had to get all cheesy on ya.Mini cupcakes for the mini-valentines in my life.Obviously I got the color memo.Hubby took me to a local production of Pride and Prejudice last night. It was awesome, and it had been so long since I’d seen anything on stage. VERY fun!This valentine didn’t feel like getting out of his pajamas. And he also felt like eating socks.Outfit #3 for the win, 80s Gator and all.J’s actual Valentine’s outfit, as he looks at his cousin on the monitor and begs him to get up and play!
When we got home from playing and visiting, we took a little tour of the basement, and showed the kids their new rooms (we’ve finally decided where everyone will be). So excited to see drywall all finished, and doors and windows installed!
This looks like a construction fail (door leading nowhere?) but it’s actually where they ripped the old stairs out, and haven’t put the new ones in yet. Sorry for the blur – I couldn’t get back against the wall far enough to get the whole thing really.Hubby posing next to the new window, basically in the laundry room. How adorable.
Tonight we’ve got a birthday dinner for Hubby’s best friend, so we’re hosting a few families for taco night. Should be a blast! What are you doing? How are you celebrating?
So I had a text conversation with a mama friend today that was really encouraging and enlightening for me… and I’m glad that I made myself vulnerable enough to have it. Here’s a little cliff notes version: we talked about how being frustrated at something that happens with your kids (today it was lack of naps) can begin a self-pity party, and turn into frustration and even anger, and then all bets are off as far as having a good day after that. No one benefits when Mama is mad. Everything from that point escalates into a worse problem than it might have been when approached with a cool head and a loving heart.
How much did I need to have that conversation? A lot. When I’m frustrated over things that are totally out of my control (no naps were due to a loud house, what with screwing in the drywall ceilings today), I’m setting myself up for disaster. I could have just resolved for a snuggly afternoon in front of a movie, and early bedtimes, but instead, I got frustrated, strapped those kids into the stroller, and went for a run. That may have been the second best option (I didn’t yell or put them in time out or anything when it wasn’t really their fault) but I still feel like my heart wasn’t in the right place until I had the vulnerable conversation, opened my heart, and let a good word in.
Yes, as a mama, you get frustrated. Things sometimes will not go your way. Messes will be made, schedules will be off, kids will wake up in the middle of the night, your coffee will never get finished, and you’ll need your glass of wine earlier and earlier.
When your mama heart is tired and heavy, your kids’ tempers are flaring, and the clock says it isn’t bedtime or wine:30, just turn on that Disney Pandora station and have yourselves a little dance party. When no one slept well the night before, and the morning is starting way too early, invite your friend and her kids (who probably also woke up too early) for a cup of coffee in your messy living room, and let those kids entertain each other for a while. Sometimes breaking your own rules can be fun for all involved. When you feel like you’re not the best mother today – or you feel like you’re the world’s worst mother today – remind yourself that you love those kiddos, even when you don’t lie them. Remind yourself that they’re mostly fed (goldfish do count!), they’re wearing clean diapers (even if they should have peed in the potty), and they’re well-taken care of (even if you didn’t have an activity planned to stimulate each of their five senses). Some days are made for PBJs, all-day-PJs and snoozing in mama’s bed. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be the “Pinterest Mom” or the “Volunteer Queen” or the “Homeschool Heroine”. A mom who loves her kids and survives one day at a time is just fine.
So, I don’t know what actually, truly constitutes a “toddler”, by definition anyway, but there is no one that “toddles” as much as my little one year old guy, so I’m guessing that qualifies him as a toddler. So, in effect, I have two toddlers.
That’s a scary sentence. Let’s say it again, for effect:
I. Have. Two. Toddlers. Yikes.
Double shower/teeth brushing. Typical.
This means that life can be crazy. As a quick story, this morning, Hubby was in the shower, I was getting J dressed, and EK had been playing with toys in the living room. The next thing I know, I don’t see or hear her, so I dare to peek out the front door. She’s on the sidewalk, with a nice lady who has pulled over to ask the little girl where her mommy is. It could not have been more than 120 seconds that she was outside, but still. I know, awful things could have happened. I’m thankful they didn’t. We have a chain on the top of the door that’s usually locked, and when we took the trash out after breakfast, we forgot to lock it back. Parenting 101, epically failed.
She is the experienced toddler, who knows all about crying when she doesn’t get what she wants. She knows all about working the room. She knows all about needing to potty right after she’s gone to bed, and about sneaking around the house really quietly in the morning in search of candy before Mommy manages to drag her exhausted self out of bed. Right now, our biggest fights are over nightgowns. She has two frilly little nightgowns she loves to wear, and if I let her, she’d wear them all day. Every once in a while, I break down and let her put it on for a nap, because as she reminds me, nightgowns are something you wear while you sleep. (Cue face palm because I should have said “sleeping AT NIGHT”.) If they are both in the laundry, then all bets for going to bed are off, because regular pajamas WILL NOT BE PUT ON HER BODY. So there.
One of the two favored nightgowns. Funny side note: she’s never watched Sophia the First.Photo from http://www.imgarcade.com
I also have one brand new toddler who, in addition to being extremely clumsy, is also very brave. Scaling furniture is less of a problem for him than simply walking from the car to the front door. Climbing the shelves in the kitchen is much easier than getting into his toddler-sized chair. He’s a little like the Tazmanian Devil, what with the messes that tend to follow him everywhere. He HATES the word “no” right now. If I have to tell him to stop doing something (smashing my laptop, carrying Daddy’s coffee around the room, etc) he immediately dissolves into wails. I think he just hears the word so often that he’s grown to hate it. I’m trying to figure out something else to say instead, but there’s just nothing as good as plain ol’ “no”.
My little guy, eating his eclectic meal and then spreading it all over creation.We managed to never have this problem with EK…
However, there are some pretty hilarious perks.
J says “thank you” to and for everything. He hands me something, and says it. He takes something from me, and says it. Picks something up off the floor, and says it. Puts a toy away, and says it. I guess I say it a lot? He also is doing this funny thing where he will eat almost anything, but only about 5 bites of it. His plate is very eclectic, because I know that bites 6-10 are wasted, so it’s got to be 5 bites of 5 different things. The things we do to ensure that our kids are eating enough…
I ask them to eat dinner when we’re at home, they holler and make a mess. Daddy takes them out to eat, and they look like angels all night.
EK is extremely good at communicating now, but every once in a while she gets stuck on something. She can’t quite get herself unbuckled from her car seat (I’m pretty sure I’m glad about it) but she can get one buckle undone, and then yells, “Somebody! HELP ME!” like I’m kidnapping her. I think it’s hilarious, but the passersby may think otherwise. She also loves the song from The Sound of Music “Do-Re-Mi” and whenever she sings it, she starts like this: “Do a deer, I call myself. Fa, a long long way to run. So, I need to pull a thread. La, I need to follow so. Ti, blah-blah-blah-blah bread! Sing sing back to do!” It’s basically the best. Whenever she starts singing it, Hubby and I just look at each other and try not to laugh until she’s finished. Her other key phrase is “Oh my gosh!” No explanation needed.
Keep the toddler on your lap for a snuggle whenever you can, because it isn’t often.
What are some crazy antics of your toddlers? Anything they say that’s hilarious every time? Any silly habits or funny things they do?8
First of all, thanks to my readers and friends for the sweet comments here and on Facebook about our newest news that bump #3 is a boy! Everyone seems just as pumped for a little brother as we are!!
Here’s a little life update on the house and bump numero tres…
I’m 16 weeks tomorrow (we go ahead and count it, right?) and I’m feeling awesome! Nesting would be happening if renovations weren’t already making things crazy… however, I’ve been reorganizing things here and there, and a little interior design sure feels like nesting. I’ve been making plans for the kids’ new rooms, their furniture, and what I need for the new baby.
Here’s my dilemma of the hour, so if you have some advice, hit me with it!
When I had J, EK was old enough to move to a big girl bed. So what I did was change over the nursery colors, and move all of EK’s clothes, etc to her “big girl room”. We amped it up big time, and started letting her do everything but sleep in there a couple of months early. Then, when J was born, she spent a couple of weeks really getting used to sleeping in there (J was still in his little Moses basket anywhere we felt like letting him sleep). Then, when he needed to move to the crib, she was already in her new room and big girl bed. Well, J will be too young, I think, to put him in a big guy bed, especially downstairs in his new room, so I think I’ll want to keep him in his crib/a crib.
That seems like no big deal, but I have a few problems. #1: We only have one crib. #2: It’s too big to get through the doorway of his bedroom (to move it downstairs) and it’s a MAJOR pain to dissemble and assemble. #3: Yes, we have a pack ‘n’ play, but it’s in rough shape, and I don’t think it could contain my 30lb son if he wanted to get out.
So there’s my dilemma. Basically, I need a crib to put downstairs in J’s room for a few months, until he’s ready for a bigger bed. He will probably move downstairs sometime between April (when the renovation is done) and July (when the baby comes) and then into a big boy bed in the late fall or early winter. I don’t want to go buy a crib just for 6 months or less, but would love to borrow one or take one off someone’s hands if they’re done with it (or done for 6 months time). I’m trying to work out the time where I need it for the shortest amount of time (without rushing J into a big boy bed), in case we end up borrowing from someone.
And on to other things… current prego status…
Craving PIZZA and Arnold Palmers
Taking less naps (finally)
Working out a little more (weather-dependent)
Getting to the bump stage instead of large dinner stage (no bumpie yet, sorry)
Getting up to pee in the middle of the night (I didn’t miss it)
Not into maternity clothes yet, but wearing mostly leggings and yoga pants for now.
Still really excited to get those Piko shirts that shipped today (I mentioned them here )
Today we’re at my in-laws’ house, because the drywall installation is loud (think power drills x 100) and because they installed the tub, which turned off the water for several hours (think about the potty training toddler and the pregnant lady and see the importance of having the potties). We’ve done several loads of laundry already, and caught up on some paperwork, and decided on preschool plans for next year, so I’d say it was a good, productive day so far.
I’ve got two basically boring pictures of the basement I can put up… and I’m sorry they’re not better. The first one is the laundry room getting insulation, and the other is of the powder room. They were the only two spots that had enough light to see what was going on when I took the pictures. Once the drywall is done and the lights are hooked up, I’ll be taking more and better ones.
You can see the washer/dryer hookup on the right side.Standing in the mudroom, looking into the powder room.
That’s what’s going on in my world right about now. What’s going on in yours?
Yes, it’s true! The Hsu Crew is adding another bouncing, baby boy to our ranks. And we couldn’t be more excited! We obviously would have been thrilled with a baby girl (especially to reuse some of the adorable clothes EK has grown out of) but we were ecstatic to hear we’ve got another boy to wrangle! That was a little bit of a perk that came along with the genetics test we had to take – it always tells the gender! So here are my reasons I’m excited for another little boy:
1. I’ll have a second chance on bowties. J’s neck got too big for baby bowties almost immediately, and I feel like I lost the whole “newborns-don’t-care-what-they-wear” phase to a fat neck and thighs so big half his pants wouldn’t fit (that’s still happening). I digress.
2. Boys playing – and fighting – together. I’ve basically heard that boys play together really well, and that girls have a lot of drama, and boys just duke it out and it’s over quickly. I’m kinda looking forward to most of the conflicts being resolved quickly.
3. Planes, trains and automobiles. We love cars and trucks and construction vehicles, Legos and blocks, and tool sets. EK does too, so that’s an extra plus. But it’s nice to know that those toys we’ve started to accumulate are going to get a lot more use. (And, my brother was a big Thomas the Tank Engine fan, so we have access to a TON of trains and tracks. Win.)
4. EK can still be the resident princess. My daughter’s diva status will go unchallenged. Right now, we’re trying to look at this like a plus. We are certainly aware that it could turn into a negative thing. We will cross that bridge if we must.
My little diva, in her element.
5. Boys love their mamas. Sometimes this can be detrimental (as in, big time mommy attachment, and huge adjustment for my elder son) but usually it’s just plain sweet how much little boys love their mamas.
My little guy, just learning to sit up. Those were the days, am I right?
Do you have a little boy? More than one? Do you agree with my excitement for having two?! Or have anything to add?
After perusing some lists and some family trees, I’ve picked out six favorite names for girls that are old, but still beautiful. Some old names can’t seem to work on younger people, but I feel like these do.
Dorothea/Dorothy
This vintage name is due for a comeback. The meaning just makes me think that more; God’s gift is a sweet name for any girl baby, because they are all sweet gifts.
Evelyn I think this one is a beauty. It’s long, without being too many letters or difficult to spell, and flows nicely when you speak it aloud – which you just did, as soon as I suggested it. Right?
Hazel
I’ve always loved this one. I’ve got a great-aunt (or that’s what we always said she was to me) with this name, and she’s a sweet memory to attach to it for me. I don’t think it’s too old-sounding or quirky to use now.
Vivien/Vivian
I personally like the spelling with an “e”, a la Vivien Leigh (the actress who portrayed Scarlet O’Hara) but I’ve always loved the beautiful sound of this name. I had a student by the name of Vivian, and she went by Vivi (Vih-vee, not Vee-vee). Not to mention, I like this “V” name more than I like Vera or even Veda.
Edith
Hubby’s grandmother’s first name (that she doesn’t go by) is Edith, as well as one of my mom’s friends from childhood. I’ve always had good connotations with the name, and so I love it even more, now that I’ve had the idea that it can be shortened to Edie. WIN.
Phoebe
I know, it takes a few minutes for those of us who grew up on “Friends” to get Lisa Kudrow out of our minds, but I’m digging Phoebe right now as a cute baby girl’s name. I’ve got a cousin who just named her daughter Phoebe, and already, at less than a year old, the little gal looks like a perfect Phoebe.
What vintage or “old lady” names do you wish would come back around? Do you have one yourself?
Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany? -Pain, in Disney’s Hercules
I’m sure this happens in every generation, but it seemed to me that I had tons of kids at my school who all had the same names. Sometimes, that made it easier to remember their names (Oh, you’re one of the Evans!) and sometimes it seemed odd. (Wow, I didn’t realize Ezra was such a common name!)
I got some of my teacher friends to weigh in and tell me what they felt like the most common kinds of names at their schools are right now. So here are the results!
For boys:
The suffix -den. Examples are Aiden, Hayden, Brayden, Jaden, etc.
Other names that end in -en, -on, or -in. Examples are Justin, Carson, Cameron, Grayson, Finn, Austin, Jaylen, the list goes on.
Jack/Jackson. Not necessarily a shortening of the other, but related sounds for sure. Alternate spellings like Jax and Jaxson included.
Isaiah and Elijah. Unrelated histories, same Biblical origin.
“Traditional” boys names. Including last names as first names, are still prominent, such as George, William, Christopher, Michael, James, to name a few.
For girls:
M names. Such as Makayla, Mackenzie, Madison and all of their related possibilities.
Ella and Emma. Often used as part of double names as well.
Caroline. Maybe it’s because I live in North Carolina, but I know a ton of Carolines.
Katherine and Kaitlin. And all of the spellings and shortenings that that implies: Kathryn, Caitlin, Kate, Katie, Katelyn, Catherine, etc.
Another thing my teacher friends said is happening is waves of people just making up names. Not necessarily making up words (using punctuation and silent letters – Na’Ja, D’Andre, J’Keir) but combining syllables from two names to make on name (TyShawn, Devonte, Keyshawn), and using words that haven’t often been used as names before (Wisdom, Angel, Rainbow, Happy, Neveah – Heaven spelled backwards). I guess that leaves the floor wide open for creative types!
What are some names you feel like you see used often nowadays? Do you know several little girls named Norah? How about lots of little guys named Hudson?
People tell you things about your second child. He will go with the flow, they said. He will have to, they said. Your second is always more easy-going, right?
Wrong. In my case, dead wrong.
Our oldest child is very go-with-the-flow. She loves running errands, having play dates, and being out of the house. She loves going out to dinner, meeting new people, taking a nap whenever, staying up late, and generally having a full schedule. I mean, she does really well entertaining herself at home, but she’s also great at all-around keeping herself occupied wherever we are.
Our second child is the opposite. He’s a homebody. He likes nothing better than to be at home, with his toys, nap on his own (different-every-day) schedule, eat at our own dining room table, and go to bed over an hour earlier than EK. This, as you might imagine, can cramp our style. Specifically, it cramps my playdates-and-meals-at-restaurants style. He often naps through the lunch hour. My lunch dates will have to wait. Playing in the playplace at Chick-Fil-A? No way. Morning playdates while EK is in preschool? You must be joking. And put him in the nursery at church with babies he knows and parent volunteers he knows? ALL BETS ARE OFF.
But which kid is right? Which one has the “better” idea of what’s going on? Neither. They’re both great. I love taking EK with me when I go to Target and Costco and the grocery store, because she loves being out and about. Talk about a girl making my busybody, stir-crazy-at-home-all-day heart happy! Equally, I love my at-home cuddles with J, watching a movie or snacking on fruit at the kitchen table, instead of going out to lunch with friends. I even (usually, anyway) think it’s amusing to go behind him and right all the upturned objects he’s hit with the Swiffer he nabbed, and pick up the food crumbs he’s dropped off his pants as he walked away from the table.
Both my kids are awesome. God has given them totally different personalities, and it’s my joy (and yes, occasional frustration) as their mom to get to know them, even as they change every single day. I can already enjoy special moments with each of them separately, doing things that they enjoy. I love knowing them, and knowing that they’re different.
When you’re pregnant, you’re a planner, and you’re OCD like me, you want to name that baby. Specifically, you’d like to name that baby so you can speak about it without saying “it” all the time. Hubby rarely wants to talk names until we know the gender around 20 weeks, which I guess I understand, but still… isn’t it fun to think of names?! Even really silly ones you know you’d never use?!
Naming a child is serious business. They keep it forever… they can truly become the name. It helps mold them into themselves. The pressure is on, in other words, to choose wisely.
When naming EK, I knew immediately the route I wanted to take. I’d had a dream about four months before I got pregnant with her that I had a baby girl named Ella Katharine. I specifically remember in my dream that Katharine was spelled like Katharine Hepburn (and yes, that was the association in my mind). However, when we got pregnant and started talking names, we wanted to use family names. So I started looking for something approximating Ella and Katharine in our families. And of course, nada for both. However, I came up with a way to honor two wonderful women, and mostly keep with the name for my daughter that I had dreamed of. EK’s full name is Elena Kathleen, and we call her Ella Kate. Elena is my mom’s first name (who goes by her middle name, by the way) and Kathleen is my ,om’s mom’s mom’s name – my maternal great-grandmother, Mamaw, whom I knew and loved for my first 18 years. I was so pleased with the full name, the nickname, and the whole idea of it that I knew it couldn’t be topped.
When naming our son, we had a different thought – no dream this time to help us out. We still wanted to use family names though, and when we found out it was a boy, we had it narrowed down to two options. We knew his middle name would be Stevens (Hubby’s mom’s maiden name, and middle name of Hubby’s middle brother) but we had two first names we’d tied with. Both were family names, and both had been used a few times within the family. We ended up choosing Joseph, Hubby’s dad’s name, and also Hubby’s eldest brother’s first name (which he doesn’t go by). We literally covered all Hubby’s immediate family with his full name, Joseph Stevens. It worked out really well!
Now that we’ve used two names from my family and two names from Hubby’s, we haven’t decided whether we want to use more family names (we have several more we’d love to incorporate) or whether we want to go completely out of the box. Obviously we don’t know gender yet, so Hubby hasn’t made too many contributions to the conversation, but my mind is spinning with possibilities, options for pleasant-sounding double names if it’s a girl (I do love a good, southern, double name.) or strong, handsome boy names.
image from birth.com.au
The main problem I have thinking about baby names is the same problem I had picking tile for the bathroom floor, and paint color for the walls: I like everything. I literally like so many different things that it’s difficult for me to choose. I love Biblical names and their accompanying history. I love Celtic names and the way they sound when you speak them. I love strong, traditional, common names, that everyone will know how to pronounce and spell. I love family names and the honor we can give to people we love. I love non-traditional, unique names – to an extent. But let’s be honest: I shan’t be using “Apple” or “Blue”.
I came across this app (now I can’t even remember where I read about it) called Baby Name Genius, and it took over my life for a little bit. A name pops up, you give it the “thumbs up” or “thumbs down”, and it generates a name you might like, based on your previous opinions. I wasted several minutes (read: hours) throughout a couple of days giving my approval or disapproval of names, until I felt like it was giving me the same names over and over again (including ones I had thumbs-downed!). Bummer. It says the app has tens of thousands of names. I didn’t see that many. Anyway, I’ve been doing random research reading lists of celebrity baby names, names for girls based on adventurous women, names for boys based on sensitive men, you get the idea. Reading short lists is better than starting at “A” on nameberry.com.
All this is to say that I’m going to post a few fun or funky lists of names that have caught my eye for one reason or another. But you’ll have to wait. I don’t want to give it all away in one post! How dare I? Make you come back?! I know. I’m stringing you along, aren’t I? Hopefully these baby-naming posts will culminate in an actual decision about what Hsu Baby #3 will be called! If you’d like to weigh in with a suggestion, leave it in the comments!
I’m struggling to find a balance in my life right now.
I want to live intentionally. I want to be intentional. An intentional Christian. An intentional wife. An intentional mother. An intentional friend. This leaves me floundering in things I want to do and “need” to do to keep relationships up and chores, etc done. I’m finding that I want control in so many areas so that my intentionality shows through. Basically, my OCD is going nuts over making sure every single thing I do has a reason and a good result.
The real result? I’m being so controlling that there is no grace and no room for error. You know who errors a lot? Kids. Husbands. Wives. Friends. People. EVERY SINGLE PERSON. I’m turning into an angry monster when things don’t go my way. (Hormones, much?) I’m realizing that being intentional isn’t the only thing that matters. And if I fail a little at being intentional, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve achieved the opposite – some sort of willy-nilly disregard for results or consequences.
I need to reign myself in, and let Jesus increase in my life. I’m not leaning on Him enough. I know this to be true, because doing things on my own, I will fail every time. I’m not bringing Him glory by trying to control everything in the name of being intentional. But I could bring Him glory by letting myself decrease, and letting Him increase.
I’m not saying this is easy for me. Actually, it’s one of the more difficult things I’ll ever do. Relinquish control over situations, over life in general? Yeah right. I’m good at organizing and managing. I can handle it, right? Well, I can’t. I’m realizing it more and more every day that I try. I can’t be a graceful parent without receiving the grace the Father has for me. I can’t be a wife who loves her husband unconditionally unless I receive the unconditional love from my heavenly Bridegroom. I can’t be a friend who listens and loves well, unless I am loved and renewed by my Savior and Friend.
Remember my New Year’s Resolution that wasn’t a resolution? To embrace it: life, my situation, whatever “it” was? Well, this is all going to be part of that – make it easier, even. Embrace my situation by relinquishing my control over it, and choosing to see myself, others, and my life the way God does. Seeing the world through His eyes instead of my judgmental, small-minded view could change everything for the better! I’m just taking the very first step in making that change… admitting that I need one.
We're Only Hsuman... 