Tag Archives: stuff kids say

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everybody! It’s been warm and lovely here in NC – you know, when it isn’t raining – and we’ve been enjoying outdoor time as much as we can! We’ve had a nice time with family and friends, and we are gearing up for a great last couple of weeks of school. Here are a few funnies from this week!!

So I do this thing when we are all getting ready to leave where I put the kids in the car, crank it up, and then get my last few things together while they’re already tied down. The other morning, this happened:
EK, as in strapping her in: Wait! I forgot my juice!
Me: I’ll get it while I’m inside.
(I go back in the house to grab my stuff, and EK proceeds to scream her head off, yelling “Mommy!” about 20 times at the top of her lungs. When I got back…)
Me: Why in the world were you screaming?!
EK: I forgot my juice!
Me: You already told me, and I told you I’d get it. The neighbors don’t want to hear your screaming about something you already told me.
EK: Sorry I was screaming. Our strawberries would be scared. Our neighbors don’t want to hear that.

Me, creeping up on J: Boo!
J: Mom! Don’t scare me! You’re like a cricket!
Bugs clearly scare him.

Here’s a gem form my friend Ginna…
E: Mom! Shh. Listen!
(Toot.)
G: Did you just toot?
E: Yeah! (Giggle) Wasn’t it beautiful?

Hubby: I love you.
J, huffing and puffing like a teenager: I love YOU. I just TOLD you.

Hubby and I were talking about the location of our modem…
EK: Where’s the motor shelf?

Randomly, EK: I was a blue dog when I was a dog.

EK: What road is this? (Yes, we’re still doing that.)
Me: Archer.
EK: Oh! Like my friend and cousin Archer?

EK: Oh badda. (Instead of “of bother”.) That’s what Winnie the Pooh says when he has a problem!

After Hubby shaved his head…
EK: My daddy’s hair is so little!

I caught this the other night…

He was jabbering away on the “phone” while driving his trike around the basement. You know. Just regular stuff. He also has been using the garlic press as a phone… since that makes sense.

EK got out of bed last night saying she needed pancakes for breakfast. This isn’t unusual, but this time it was specifically asking for Daddy and Mommy to make special banana pancakes. At 9:37pm. IF YOU GET UP AGAIN THERE WILL BE NO PANCAKES. 

Well, that’s it for this week! What are your kiddos talking about?

Things Toddlers Say

Short intro today, folks, because we are in DisneyWorld! So happy Tuesday and we will catch you up later! 

EK’s birthday prayer: Dear Jesus, thank you for my birthday. And I love you. And thank you for my presents. I’m sooooo glad it’s my birthday. Love you, Jesus. Amen.

EK got this awesome art set from my MIL:

 When she looked at the pencil sharpener, she said, “Oh, that’s what tells you what time it is.”

EK: Could you get the crumb out of my nose? Verrrrrry carefully.
A booger. It was a booger.

EK: Hey mom! You know what kind of monster I saw that was a person?! It was a BEAR!
Me: …

EK, looking at Sully from Monsters, Inc: Mom! It’s my daddy!
He went as Sully for Halloween one year that EK shouldn’t even remember.

EK: When I’m grown up, I will be just like you! I’ll wear special chappicks (Chapstick) and have wiiiiiinnnnnne.

EK refuses to call Arlo (the main dinosaur in The Good Dinosaur) anything but “she”. I’m pretty sure it’s a boy but she just refers to Arlo as a girl when she talks about it.

In the car on the way to the airport…
J: Where’s my Davis?
Me: Oh, look at the sunrise! Do you see how the sky is pink?
EK: Pink is my favorite color!
EK: Look! It’s the airplaneport!
EK took this from the plane:

We will have a talented photographer on our hands. Anyway, see ya when we are home!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! It might be afternoon, but it’s still a good time for a few funnies! Hope you enjoy this week’s Things Toddlers Say! 

 Me: How did you get so smart?
EK: It’s cause I read so many books.
Me: Yes. Yes it is.

EK: If a monster was here, you could call an ambulance. Then they would come and make it go away. (makes the siren noise)
Me: We actually call the police to make scary or bad things go away. An ambulance is for when people are sick and need to go to the hospital.
EK: Oh no! Don’t get sick! I don’t wanna see an ambulance!

EK: I wanna watch menus!
Me, 20 minutes later: Oooooh, minions!

I was hearing J say, “Push me, mom!” from the hallway. When I went out to look, he was patiently waiting in his “boat.”

aka baby bathtub.

EK currently has an obsession with road names. It’s equal parts cute and sort annoying. When we’re in the car, she asks every 20 feet “what road this is”. The other morning, she was waiting for her grandmother to pick her up, peeking out the mail slot and saying, “There are so many cars driving on (our road) but none of them are Annie!”

J, unable to open the microwave: I can’t reach it, mommy!
Me, handing him the warm milk from inside: Here you go, sweetie.
J: Good job, mommy! You’re so big!
Me: Thanks, buddy.

J: Come on, EK! Come with me!
EK: Hang on a second, J. I’m getting all clothesed (pronounced closed) up.
Me: *die laughing*

J: I got enough dinner in the eat!

J, at bedtime, organizing his bed buddies: Frog- ribbit! Dog- woof! Buzz Lightyear- to the rescue!

Ever since Hubby made EK her “birdie nest” to sleep in on the floor at my mom’s house, she’s been obsessed with being a baby bird. She calls me “mama bird” and Hubby “daddy bird”. She tried to call J, “baby bird” and he said, “No! I’m a Joe Joe bird!” They, of course, don’t realize that I thought it was hilarious because it sounded like “do-do bird” when he said it.

We are in the car, and D is crying. J starts singing, “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.” repeatedly, to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle”.

Having dinner with friends…
EK, pointing at my bourbon and ginger ale: Mom, is that fire water?
Me: What?! Ryan, did you teach her that?!
Hubby: Uh, yeah.
Me: I’m not drinking moonshine!

Well, that’s it for now! Tomorrow is EK’s birthday, so we’ll have a special birthday edition next week!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! This past week, we traveled, made it home, and had a whirlwind of a weekend. This week is likely to be more of the same craziness. No matter how many times I think I don’t quite have enough for an entire post, those kids deliver, even when I feel like I’ve barely seen them. Anyway, here are the top funnies from our family this week- enjoy!

Me: Say cheese, Joe!
J: Cheese, Joe!

Shouting at EK…
J: SHUT your door and close your TEETH!

EK: When I wake up from my naps, I always fart!
No explanation needed.

EK: After bath I want to be a princess!
Hubby: After your bath you can put on pjs and be a princess in your heart.
EK: No! I want to be a princess with a dress on her back!

J, when Hubby walks into a room: Daddioooooo!

EK: Look, Mom! It’s my little teeny, little baby girl! (Shows me a doll.)
Me: Did you know that you’re my little teeny, little baby girl?
EK: Yeah. And when I was a baby, I went like this! (Pretends to be asleep.) And then when I got a shot, I went like this! (Cries really strangely, trying to sound like a baby.) And then you gave me a bottle, and I slowed down.
Me: Yes, you’re right. So, tell me about your baby.
EK: She is three. And after she is three, she will be five.
Me: Oh, that’s interesting…
EK: Yeah, and then four! And then one! And then thirty-five!
Me: Now that is very strange.
EK: Yeah! (Dissolves into giggles.)

The other day I heard J pounding the wall with something… 
As you might imagine, I wasn’t happy that it was the plug for the electric skillet.

Right before we went to see my family in GA, I came upon these things…
EK told met hay she had made “roll ups” for every member of my family (naming them all) and they were presents. I think at some point she had heard about tissue paper flowers, and downgraded to toilet paper roll ups. But her heart was in it.

I found this: 
I don’t have to explain why this pen is crushed.

J has been telling me that he turned his “sheem” off in the mornings. It’s taken me several days in a row to figure out he’s talking about his sound machine, because I recently gave him the special task of turning it off when he woke up.

Listening to “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” (from Toy Story, which my kids have seen several times)…
J: This is a cool song, Mom!
As if he’d never heard it before.

Well, that’s about it for the week. What are your kids talking about?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, y’all! We were traveling all day yesterday, and acclimating ourselves to Georgia and my parents’ house this morning, so I’m just now getting this post together! Hope you enjoy a little bit of humor from the past week!  

 EK: I could be a mom when I grow up!
Lauren: How old will you be to be a mother?
EK: 69!
Me: Of course.

Hubby: I was thinking about going to Lowe’s in a little bit.
Me: You could take EK with you and I can keep the boys here.
EK: Yeah! And you could buy me a special drink from Chickalay!
Hubby: Oh I could, could I?

Me: We’re having some just girl time, aren’t we?
EK: Yeah! Cause we are the BEST! (Shakes her booty. Really.)

EK at bedtime: Will you leave my door open?
Hubby: Sure.
EK: I mean really open. Open when the door touches the wall.
Hubby: …*clunk* yep. (walks away)

J has been carrying tongs around with him all the time. He is jazzed when he can pick something up with them. I think he feels like he’s a human crane. It was cute until he chased me with them this morning…


EK: I needa take your pentashure. (Temperature.)

My MIL told me that when she was with EK the other day, EK told her the most special thing about Easter is that it’s just for girls. She also said she asked EK why J wouldn’t snuggle her. EK’s response: He doesn’t love you. So I can go on all the special dates!

Out at dinner…
EK: Are you mad like anger?
Me: No I’m just frustrated.
EK: You could go like this with your arms!
What I videoed:


Me: Could you do that again?

EK:

Watching Hook…
EK: They have the children! They took them! Those people are mean!

Backseat driver…
EK: Mama, don’t go fast or an ambulance will give you a ticket and take you to jail. And then we could never find you!

EK: Daddy I drew you! With so manys hair! 

 At bedtime…
Me: EK, I’m going to snuggle J for a minute, so you go ahead and hop in your bed and I’ll be there in a minute.
EK, climbing on J’s bed: I want to give my brother a kiss!
She climbs up, right on top of J, and gives him a hug and a kiss. The joy on his face was tangible and contagious.
Me: You can be so sweet sometimes! You made J’s night.

There you have it! A little bit or humor and sweetness. What are your kids saying?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, folks! I won’t lie – on Sunday, I was a little worried that I had nothing (literally nothing) to put in this post. It was a very busy week of me not being with the kids as much as usual (between work and play, there was lots of childcare involved) so I was worried I hadn’t spent enough time hearing what they’d said to fill a post up. But alas, any time I worry about that, they always amaze me with the ridiculousness that comes out of their mouths. So here it is, this week’s humor! 

 I came into EK’s room and saw this: 
It’s basically a bunch of leaves/weeds/buds off a tree in our yard that she at some point brought inside. And then sorta ground into the carpet. It’s even a little funnier because of the toy vacuum sitting next to it like she’d tried to clean it up with that.

There’s a good close up so you know how tiny the pieces were. The only way she explained it to me was that she was having “a really fancy tea party”. Apparently that required natural decorations in the form of pollen. Obviously I made her clean it up. With the REAL vacuum.

Some friends came to pick me up to go to an out of town wedding, and EK shared with them this memory: One time, I came up the stairs when I was supposed to be in bed, and you saw me sand you said, “Hey!” Did you remember that?

J, any time I give him anything or put a piece of clothing/shoe on him: This is El’ Kate’s! (It must stem from her telling him all day long, “Hey! That’s mine!”) I have to reassure him that some things belong to just him.

The other night, EK and J spent the whole dinnertime shouting the word “tattoo” and giggling. I guess it sounded funny to them. (Addendum: they were very tired.)

Hubby has just this week been showing the kids Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and EK keeps singing the “Won’t you be my neighbor?” song. I hadn’t watched it, and thought somehow she had been seeing Mister Rogers. Then I cried because I missed him and cried because Daniel Tiger totally ripped him off.

  
These snowballs have been relabeled “core memories”. Word is still out on whether they are joyful, sad, etc. (This is funnier if you’ve seen Inside Out.)

J: I want some space! I want some space!
Me: What, buddy?
J: I want some space!
Me, realizing he’s pointing to a deck of cards: Oh! You want to play spades.
I guess we do play a lot of spades.

Overheard from the other room…

EK: He tried to chew on my dress!

J is obsessed with two things right now: spiders and “stupid bugs”. Every dark speck or piece of lint anywhere is automatically either a spider or a “stupid bug”. One morning, he kept talking about a fly (which was a new one) and I assumed he meant the fruit flies we always have this time of year with the windows open a lot. I told him to get it and smash it, which overjoyed him. I figured he wouldn’t be able to, and if he did, well, that’s one less fly and we’d wash his hands. He came back with a dead stink bug on the back of a book he’d smashed it with. I was equal parts impressed and grossed out. We had a little teachable moment on stink bugs, how they smell really bad and we don’t touch them. Now, he’s obsessed with “stupid stink bugs”. At least he learned their proper name?

J: I see a bug on the table!

EK: It’s okay, honey. There are no flies or bugs on the table. 

And just because I never post on this post about D, here’s a little funny. He is OBSESSED with the vacuum. He probably thinks it’s the coolest toy ever, because Mommy uses it every single day.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a bit short this week (I spent the better part of two days not hanging out with anyone much since I had the stomach bug) but still good! Hope your enjoy the funny things my kids are saying!


EK was so excited to get my attention and show me this “delicious ballet”. I think she may have meant “delicious display”. Still unsure.    

Eating homemade paella…
J: This is chicken and rice!
EK: No it’s paella!
J: Pallela?!

Bedtime stalling on a new level…
EK: I saw a spider in my room!
(10 minute rant from Hubby about how spiders are good, not scary, and they eat other bugs that we don’t like.)
EK comes back: I saw a spider in my room! He was eating a cracker!
Me: *face palm*

J’s new favorite thing to talk about: his scrape. He fell in the parking lot on the way into church one day, and Hubby introduced him to the word “scrape”. He is now obsessed with it, and it sounds a lot like “grape”. He is also very concerned with getting kisses to make it feel better… from everyone. I don’t know what he’ll talk about when his hand heals.

Preparing for  our walk the other day, the mailman happened to be at our mailbox when we walked out the door…
EK: Mom! Look at that email man! (Chuckling)
A minute later when we walked by the mailbox…
EK: Mom! You didn’t check your email!

My mom called D a “drool bucket”. I don’t even think EK was in the room at the time. But I hear her, hours later, singing a song to the tune of “Are You Sleeping?” about “Drool Bucket Davis”.

Sitting at dinner, J reaches his hand toward me and says, “I can’t reach you! I need to reach you!” When I leaned over to him, he gently touched my face, then put his arm around my neck. Oh wow, am I in for it.

EK: Necie! Have you noticed that the dentist lady brought me a new toothbrush?!
That happened weeks ago. And she doesn’t even use that one.

So let’s hear it: what’s the funniest thing your kids have said recently?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Aaaand that’s enough chat for me this morning! Here goes nothin’… 

For the record, I came downstairs and this was already happening.
 J, arms wide: Jump me! (He means “Catch me.”)

EK spent one whole morning singing about “sinner ash”. I’m still unsure what she actually meant.

J, running around: I’m crunchy! I’m crunchy! (He was pretending to be a shark.)

In other news, no one would own up to standing Buzz up on their dinner date.

One morning while we were having breakfast, EK asked me to take a selfie of her and me. After I did, J ended up with my phone, and then this happened… 

It was the cutest thing, watching him discover it was him he could see on there, playing a little peekaboo with himself, and trying to show everyone else he was on there. Adorable.

During playtime together, EK likes to order J around. This might include putting him in time out, having him make dinner, “saving” the baby from him, telling him he can’t have juice, or pretending he is anyone but who he is.

EK: Josie’s hands are bigger than my hands.
Me: Okay…

Me: I’m making strawberry pancakes for breakfast!
EK: I don’t like strawberry pancakes. Unless they’re good. Then I might eat them.

Andrea: Who are you gonna marry?
EK: Nobody! Just myself!

After hearing me talk about going to T.J. Maxx…
EK: Mom, can I go to tea bags max with you?
Me: ……

J: I can’t find my chicken!
Me: Your chicken is in the sauce.
J: But I can’t find it!
EK: But you like chicken in sauce!

EK, discussing foods she likes: and you know what else I like to eat?!
Me: What?
EK: Baby Davis! Chomp! I ate him!
I think we’ve nom nom nommed the baby too many times.

What are you kiddos saying these days? Anyone else like to chomp the baby?

Things Toddlers Say

Y’all. I was talking with my friend Andrea last night, and we decided that pretty much every single thing that comes out of EK’s mouth is a hilarious one-liner. In five minutes, she said enough hilariously random things to fill up an entire post. But catching (and recording) every single thing she says is impossible, so alas… I’ve only got the highlights. SO. Here they are!

EK, unprompted: When I was a baby, I pooped, and it was YUCKY!

EK: I had yummy snack at school today, but I only ate the cupcake. I didn’t eat the chicka chicka boom boom popcorn.
An hour later, I realized she meant Boom Chicka Pop.

At dinner one night:
EK: Mom, make sure you eat all your steak and drink all your wine.
Me: Noted.

Showing me this picture:

Me: I like that rainbow on the side! And is that a cabana on the beach?
EK: No, it’s a toot.
Me: A tutu?
EK: Nope, a toot. On the beach!

The same night…
Me: How many layers of lip gloss did you just put on?!?!
EK: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! I just wanted to be really sparkly.

Important conversations with our friends…
EK: Drew, do you love your mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, I do.
EK: Does Lauren love her mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, she does.
EK: Well I love myself. And even, you can love yourself or your neighbor!

The problem with choosing your outfits…
EK: I want to wear my new dress!
Me: Okay, but when we go to he playground, we should probably wear something else.
EK: I don’t want to go to the playground.
Me: Well, we made plans for everyone to go to the playground, and we’ve already told them all.
EK: I want someone to come sitter me while you go to the playground.

J’s new thing: “Go away.”  It’s used as a response to being asked to do something, being told it’s time to go/go to bed, when his sister appears, or when he is unhappy about anything else.

J, swirling his blanket around and growling: Did you saw that?!

J’s word for trash can: crash chan

EK stalling bedtime in an unprecedented stream of consciousness: Can you pray to Jesus while you sleep? You two (Hubby and me), you pray to Jesus while you sleep and I will and then J will. And D when he watches us do it will do it too. And he will get big like you and you and pick me up, because he’s pretty small yet. Wait! I have something to tell you. I want special drinks in the morning… (whispering) hot chocolate… And a giant cupcape. To eat.

EK on breakfast: I need to drink my smoothie so I’ll be big like you. If I don’t, I’ll turn small like D.

EK on growing up: I want to be a mommy like you! And J can be the daddy, and D will be our baby!

EK’s term for “That’s interesting!” is “That’s entering!” She’s used it at least a hundred times in the past two days.

What hilarious things do your kids say? What phrases are they stuck on?

Things Toddlers Say

Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday! I don’t know about you, but yesterday was the most underwhelming snow day there ever was. We sledded approximately four times, and the ground was showing through. It was a huge disappointment, especially considering how cold it still was. Anyway, here’s a bit of humor from our week! 

 Me to Hubby: I’ve got rehearsal tonight.
EK: I’m going to really miss you while you’re at horsell tonight.

Me: Stop! I’ve got a cramp in my foot!
J: You gotta crap in your foot?

EK: Does J have school today?
Me: Yes, you both have school, and I have work today.
EK: And Daddy has work to clean up the kitchen?
Dying.

I found EK’s sippy cup in her underwear drawer in her room. When I asked her about it, she just said she needed somewhere to put it.

EK, trying to play pretend: J, you’re going to be my sister.
J: I not a sister. I Joseph!!

Every time I turn on Disney’s Robinhood (the animated one), J says, “The Jungle!” which is what he calls Jungle Book. I suppose talking animals all seem the same to him.

EK: Look, Mommy! I’m gonna do something so cool!
I’m pretty sure this isn’t what it’s made to do.

J: Mommy! I’m a princess! 
Oh yes, of course. That’s a beautiful dress, J.

EK: I have a baby in my tummy!
Hubby: Oh yeah? Who’s the father?

Ek’s Sofia figurine was in the middle of the floor, and Hubby stepped on it. He exclaims, “Agh! Sofia the worst!” So naturally, I launched into a rousing rendition of that song from Robinhood that all the animals sing: “Too late to be known as John the First, he’s sure to be known as John the Worst! A pox on the phony king of England!” Except I sang, “She’d like to be known as Sofia the First, but she will be known as Sofia the Worst!” J burst out laughing (he had just woken from his nap), and I asked him if he thought it was funny. He got really serious, and said, “No!” as if he was upset I had offended Sofia.

Overheard while my big kids were playing together…
EK: We can do it! I know we can!
She’s such an encourager.

As J chases EK around the kitchen…
EK: Daddy! Help! Can you save your baby squirrel from my mean old Joseph?!

So what are you kids saying these days?