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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! We were traveling all day yesterday, and acclimating ourselves to Georgia and my parents’ house this morning, so I’m just now getting this post together! Hope you enjoy a little bit of humor from the past week!  

 EK: I could be a mom when I grow up!
Lauren: How old will you be to be a mother?
EK: 69!
Me: Of course.

Hubby: I was thinking about going to Lowe’s in a little bit.
Me: You could take EK with you and I can keep the boys here.
EK: Yeah! And you could buy me a special drink from Chickalay!
Hubby: Oh I could, could I?

Me: We’re having some just girl time, aren’t we?
EK: Yeah! Cause we are the BEST! (Shakes her booty. Really.)

EK at bedtime: Will you leave my door open?
Hubby: Sure.
EK: I mean really open. Open when the door touches the wall.
Hubby: …*clunk* yep. (walks away)

J has been carrying tongs around with him all the time. He is jazzed when he can pick something up with them. I think he feels like he’s a human crane. It was cute until he chased me with them this morning…


EK: I needa take your pentashure. (Temperature.)

My MIL told me that when she was with EK the other day, EK told her the most special thing about Easter is that it’s just for girls. She also said she asked EK why J wouldn’t snuggle her. EK’s response: He doesn’t love you. So I can go on all the special dates!

Out at dinner…
EK: Are you mad like anger?
Me: No I’m just frustrated.
EK: You could go like this with your arms!
What I videoed:


Me: Could you do that again?

EK:

Watching Hook…
EK: They have the children! They took them! Those people are mean!

Backseat driver…
EK: Mama, don’t go fast or an ambulance will give you a ticket and take you to jail. And then we could never find you!

EK: Daddy I drew you! With so manys hair! 

 At bedtime…
Me: EK, I’m going to snuggle J for a minute, so you go ahead and hop in your bed and I’ll be there in a minute.
EK, climbing on J’s bed: I want to give my brother a kiss!
She climbs up, right on top of J, and gives him a hug and a kiss. The joy on his face was tangible and contagious.
Me: You can be so sweet sometimes! You made J’s night.

There you have it! A little bit or humor and sweetness. What are your kids saying?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, folks! I won’t lie – on Sunday, I was a little worried that I had nothing (literally nothing) to put in this post. It was a very busy week of me not being with the kids as much as usual (between work and play, there was lots of childcare involved) so I was worried I hadn’t spent enough time hearing what they’d said to fill a post up. But alas, any time I worry about that, they always amaze me with the ridiculousness that comes out of their mouths. So here it is, this week’s humor! 

 I came into EK’s room and saw this: 
It’s basically a bunch of leaves/weeds/buds off a tree in our yard that she at some point brought inside. And then sorta ground into the carpet. It’s even a little funnier because of the toy vacuum sitting next to it like she’d tried to clean it up with that.

There’s a good close up so you know how tiny the pieces were. The only way she explained it to me was that she was having “a really fancy tea party”. Apparently that required natural decorations in the form of pollen. Obviously I made her clean it up. With the REAL vacuum.

Some friends came to pick me up to go to an out of town wedding, and EK shared with them this memory: One time, I came up the stairs when I was supposed to be in bed, and you saw me sand you said, “Hey!” Did you remember that?

J, any time I give him anything or put a piece of clothing/shoe on him: This is El’ Kate’s! (It must stem from her telling him all day long, “Hey! That’s mine!”) I have to reassure him that some things belong to just him.

The other night, EK and J spent the whole dinnertime shouting the word “tattoo” and giggling. I guess it sounded funny to them. (Addendum: they were very tired.)

Hubby has just this week been showing the kids Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and EK keeps singing the “Won’t you be my neighbor?” song. I hadn’t watched it, and thought somehow she had been seeing Mister Rogers. Then I cried because I missed him and cried because Daniel Tiger totally ripped him off.

  
These snowballs have been relabeled “core memories”. Word is still out on whether they are joyful, sad, etc. (This is funnier if you’ve seen Inside Out.)

J: I want some space! I want some space!
Me: What, buddy?
J: I want some space!
Me, realizing he’s pointing to a deck of cards: Oh! You want to play spades.
I guess we do play a lot of spades.

Overheard from the other room…

EK: He tried to chew on my dress!

J is obsessed with two things right now: spiders and “stupid bugs”. Every dark speck or piece of lint anywhere is automatically either a spider or a “stupid bug”. One morning, he kept talking about a fly (which was a new one) and I assumed he meant the fruit flies we always have this time of year with the windows open a lot. I told him to get it and smash it, which overjoyed him. I figured he wouldn’t be able to, and if he did, well, that’s one less fly and we’d wash his hands. He came back with a dead stink bug on the back of a book he’d smashed it with. I was equal parts impressed and grossed out. We had a little teachable moment on stink bugs, how they smell really bad and we don’t touch them. Now, he’s obsessed with “stupid stink bugs”. At least he learned their proper name?

J: I see a bug on the table!

EK: It’s okay, honey. There are no flies or bugs on the table. 

And just because I never post on this post about D, here’s a little funny. He is OBSESSED with the vacuum. He probably thinks it’s the coolest toy ever, because Mommy uses it every single day.

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a bit short this week (I spent the better part of two days not hanging out with anyone much since I had the stomach bug) but still good! Hope your enjoy the funny things my kids are saying!


EK was so excited to get my attention and show me this “delicious ballet”. I think she may have meant “delicious display”. Still unsure.    

Eating homemade paella…
J: This is chicken and rice!
EK: No it’s paella!
J: Pallela?!

Bedtime stalling on a new level…
EK: I saw a spider in my room!
(10 minute rant from Hubby about how spiders are good, not scary, and they eat other bugs that we don’t like.)
EK comes back: I saw a spider in my room! He was eating a cracker!
Me: *face palm*

J’s new favorite thing to talk about: his scrape. He fell in the parking lot on the way into church one day, and Hubby introduced him to the word “scrape”. He is now obsessed with it, and it sounds a lot like “grape”. He is also very concerned with getting kisses to make it feel better… from everyone. I don’t know what he’ll talk about when his hand heals.

Preparing for  our walk the other day, the mailman happened to be at our mailbox when we walked out the door…
EK: Mom! Look at that email man! (Chuckling)
A minute later when we walked by the mailbox…
EK: Mom! You didn’t check your email!

My mom called D a “drool bucket”. I don’t even think EK was in the room at the time. But I hear her, hours later, singing a song to the tune of “Are You Sleeping?” about “Drool Bucket Davis”.

Sitting at dinner, J reaches his hand toward me and says, “I can’t reach you! I need to reach you!” When I leaned over to him, he gently touched my face, then put his arm around my neck. Oh wow, am I in for it.

EK: Necie! Have you noticed that the dentist lady brought me a new toothbrush?!
That happened weeks ago. And she doesn’t even use that one.

So let’s hear it: what’s the funniest thing your kids have said recently?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! Aaaand that’s enough chat for me this morning! Here goes nothin’… 

For the record, I came downstairs and this was already happening.
 J, arms wide: Jump me! (He means “Catch me.”)

EK spent one whole morning singing about “sinner ash”. I’m still unsure what she actually meant.

J, running around: I’m crunchy! I’m crunchy! (He was pretending to be a shark.)

In other news, no one would own up to standing Buzz up on their dinner date.

One morning while we were having breakfast, EK asked me to take a selfie of her and me. After I did, J ended up with my phone, and then this happened… 

It was the cutest thing, watching him discover it was him he could see on there, playing a little peekaboo with himself, and trying to show everyone else he was on there. Adorable.

During playtime together, EK likes to order J around. This might include putting him in time out, having him make dinner, “saving” the baby from him, telling him he can’t have juice, or pretending he is anyone but who he is.

EK: Josie’s hands are bigger than my hands.
Me: Okay…

Me: I’m making strawberry pancakes for breakfast!
EK: I don’t like strawberry pancakes. Unless they’re good. Then I might eat them.

Andrea: Who are you gonna marry?
EK: Nobody! Just myself!

After hearing me talk about going to T.J. Maxx…
EK: Mom, can I go to tea bags max with you?
Me: ……

J: I can’t find my chicken!
Me: Your chicken is in the sauce.
J: But I can’t find it!
EK: But you like chicken in sauce!

EK, discussing foods she likes: and you know what else I like to eat?!
Me: What?
EK: Baby Davis! Chomp! I ate him!
I think we’ve nom nom nommed the baby too many times.

What are you kiddos saying these days? Anyone else like to chomp the baby?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Y’all. I was talking with my friend Andrea last night, and we decided that pretty much every single thing that comes out of EK’s mouth is a hilarious one-liner. In five minutes, she said enough hilariously random things to fill up an entire post. But catching (and recording) every single thing she says is impossible, so alas… I’ve only got the highlights. SO. Here they are!

EK, unprompted: When I was a baby, I pooped, and it was YUCKY!

EK: I had yummy snack at school today, but I only ate the cupcake. I didn’t eat the chicka chicka boom boom popcorn.
An hour later, I realized she meant Boom Chicka Pop.

At dinner one night:
EK: Mom, make sure you eat all your steak and drink all your wine.
Me: Noted.

Showing me this picture:

Me: I like that rainbow on the side! And is that a cabana on the beach?
EK: No, it’s a toot.
Me: A tutu?
EK: Nope, a toot. On the beach!

The same night…
Me: How many layers of lip gloss did you just put on?!?!
EK: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! I just wanted to be really sparkly.

Important conversations with our friends…
EK: Drew, do you love your mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, I do.
EK: Does Lauren love her mom and dad?
Drew: Yes, she does.
EK: Well I love myself. And even, you can love yourself or your neighbor!

The problem with choosing your outfits…
EK: I want to wear my new dress!
Me: Okay, but when we go to he playground, we should probably wear something else.
EK: I don’t want to go to the playground.
Me: Well, we made plans for everyone to go to the playground, and we’ve already told them all.
EK: I want someone to come sitter me while you go to the playground.

J’s new thing: “Go away.”  It’s used as a response to being asked to do something, being told it’s time to go/go to bed, when his sister appears, or when he is unhappy about anything else.

J, swirling his blanket around and growling: Did you saw that?!

J’s word for trash can: crash chan

EK stalling bedtime in an unprecedented stream of consciousness: Can you pray to Jesus while you sleep? You two (Hubby and me), you pray to Jesus while you sleep and I will and then J will. And D when he watches us do it will do it too. And he will get big like you and you and pick me up, because he’s pretty small yet. Wait! I have something to tell you. I want special drinks in the morning… (whispering) hot chocolate… And a giant cupcape. To eat.

EK on breakfast: I need to drink my smoothie so I’ll be big like you. If I don’t, I’ll turn small like D.

EK on growing up: I want to be a mommy like you! And J can be the daddy, and D will be our baby!

EK’s term for “That’s interesting!” is “That’s entering!” She’s used it at least a hundred times in the past two days.

What hilarious things do your kids say? What phrases are they stuck on?

mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! Happy Tuesday! I don’t know about you, but yesterday was the most underwhelming snow day there ever was. We sledded approximately four times, and the ground was showing through. It was a huge disappointment, especially considering how cold it still was. Anyway, here’s a bit of humor from our week! 

 Me to Hubby: I’ve got rehearsal tonight.
EK: I’m going to really miss you while you’re at horsell tonight.

Me: Stop! I’ve got a cramp in my foot!
J: You gotta crap in your foot?

EK: Does J have school today?
Me: Yes, you both have school, and I have work today.
EK: And Daddy has work to clean up the kitchen?
Dying.

I found EK’s sippy cup in her underwear drawer in her room. When I asked her about it, she just said she needed somewhere to put it.

EK, trying to play pretend: J, you’re going to be my sister.
J: I not a sister. I Joseph!!

Every time I turn on Disney’s Robinhood (the animated one), J says, “The Jungle!” which is what he calls Jungle Book. I suppose talking animals all seem the same to him.

EK: Look, Mommy! I’m gonna do something so cool!
I’m pretty sure this isn’t what it’s made to do.

J: Mommy! I’m a princess! 
Oh yes, of course. That’s a beautiful dress, J.

EK: I have a baby in my tummy!
Hubby: Oh yeah? Who’s the father?

Ek’s Sofia figurine was in the middle of the floor, and Hubby stepped on it. He exclaims, “Agh! Sofia the worst!” So naturally, I launched into a rousing rendition of that song from Robinhood that all the animals sing: “Too late to be known as John the First, he’s sure to be known as John the Worst! A pox on the phony king of England!” Except I sang, “She’d like to be known as Sofia the First, but she will be known as Sofia the Worst!” J burst out laughing (he had just woken from his nap), and I asked him if he thought it was funny. He got really serious, and said, “No!” as if he was upset I had offended Sofia.

Overheard while my big kids were playing together…
EK: We can do it! I know we can!
She’s such an encourager.

As J chases EK around the kitchen…
EK: Daddy! Help! Can you save your baby squirrel from my mean old Joseph?!

So what are you kids saying these days?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, y’all! Our week has been full of visits from the grandparents and football! Here are some funnies from my big kids.

EK, entering the kitchen: Something smells delicious in here! (It was Caesar salad, and she ate a ton of it. Because she isn’t your normal threenager.)

J is constantly going up to D and wiping his face saying, “Da baby spit! Da baby spit!”

J came upstairs with the exercise ball…and I said, “Wow! That’s impressive! How did you get that up the stairs?”
J: Cause I got balls!
There was obviously no response for that.

EK: I like the beast better than Belle.
She’s got a thing for bad boys.

Apparently “peanut butter and jelly sandwich” is very difficult to say:
EK: Pinit butter and jally shammick
J: Shammich butterrrrrrr

J and I had a sweet minute the other day where we were the only ones awake, and we did a craft. While we sat at the kitchen table, an airplane (or helicopter) flew overhead. J then launched an argument – with himself – over whether it was an airplane or helicopter. This lasted for several minutes.

EK, eating chips and salsa: I need a water to slow me down!

EK runs up and shows me this:and says, “Look, Mom! It’s a picture of me and my booger! I’m pretty funny.”

The other morning at breakfast, EK had a five minute long concerned rant about why Cinderella didn’t eat breakfast. Apparently she had noticed that she fed all the animals breakfast, and took breakfast trays to her step-mother and step-sisters, but never ate anything herself.

EK: Look, Mom! I took it to-part! (Instead of apart.)

I was eating fried zucchini sticks with ranch…
EK: Can I have one?
Me: Sure! (Hand her one)
EK: (frowning and sputtering) Ugh!
Me: What’s wrong?
EK: I want a different one with no ranch.
Me: But I thought you liked ranch?
EK: I only like it on my salad.
Definitely not my child.

J’s current misnomers:
Beads=beans
Popcorn=hopcorn
Thank you=thank whew

Did anyone else notice a definite food trend this week? What are your toddlers talking about?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Hey Tuesday! I can’t believe it’s here again already. Hope your week is off to a good start! It’s pajama day at school for the kids, so hopefully they come home talking about everyone’s jams and how they had pancakes for snack. Anyway, here’s the good stuff! We’ve got a whole lot of one-liners this week. 

 Because J really likes food…

J: I want da cumbers!!! (Cucumbers.)

J: Can I have da yogit now? (Yogurt.)

J: I want some more ‘cado! (Avocado.)

J: Ew! That’s dagusting! (Disgusting, obviously.)

Anytime J is singing a song and you join in, he says, “No! It’s my tuwn!”

EK, showing me a fake phone: Mom! Look at this one! It’s my dad laughing, with his tongue sticking out!

J, pointing to a turtle: Look mommy! It’s a toodle!

Me: Come sit with me!
EK: I have to put my panties on first!

EK, eating a Girl Scout Lemonade cookie, but not knowing the name of the cookie: This has got lemonade in it!

After I put raspberries on her plate…
EK: Thank you, chef!
Me: That was easy.

EK: My soft taco won’t let me pick it up!

EK: Would you get that boo-boo off for me?
Me: What boo-boo?
EK: The one on my lip!

Every time he rides on my back…
J: Hold tight, Mommy!

Lauren: Who is coming for your birthday?
EK: Santa Claus.

EK: Want some lispick on? (She means lipstick. She was actually holding lip gloss. But what really is the difference?)

Me: Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!
EK: Bitty body boo!

And just to further prove that he learns things from EK, when we were swinging the other day, J said, “Look mommy! I’m pumping my legs!” Cue my baffled face.

What are you kids talking about these days?

home, mommyhood, siblings, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday afternoon, all! I hope you’re safe if you’ve been snowed in, and enjoying the wintry mix! Here’s a little bit about what my kids have been saying this week… 

 Parroting with the best of them…
EK: There’s seeyand in my lantro! (Sand in my cilantro.)

Hubby: No, don’t do that! Go downstairs and find a new game!
EK: Oooh! Let’s go downstairs and find a new game, Joseph! (As if it was her idea.)
Me: What was your favorite part today?
EK: When I spilled my soup and I ran away and I pooped!
Me: ….

EK, playing with Lauren’s hair: This is gonna look so good for Drew. (Lauren’s husband)

J, watching Hubby chop something: What’s that, Daddy?
EK, from the other room: It’s garlic!

Me: Did you just stick your finger I your diaper?!
J: I just stuck my finger in my diaper because I pooped. And it’s YUCKY!

EK was wearing a princess dress, watching Thomas the Train, peeking from the stairs…
Hubby: EK, do you like Thomas?
EK: Um, just a little bit.

EK: Mom, look! I ate all my dinner so I can be the strongest than my dad!

EK often wants to pretend that she is the mommy, and that’s what we were doing when this happened…
EK: I’m on the way to the baby center to have my baby.
Me: Is the baby a boy?
EK: Yes.
Me: Is his name Davis?
EK: No, just Rudy.
(To clarify why this is even funnier, we don’t know anyone named Rudy.)

When I’m putting EK to bed, I see this on her sheets:

If it’s hard to tell, the pink owl’s eyes have been colored blue.
Me: What happened right here?
EK: I wanted to her eyes to be blue.
Me: What did you color them with?
EK: My blue chappicks! (chapstick)
Face palm.

Pulling into Chick-fil-A:
EK, in a sing song voice: I see Chickalayyyyyy!
J, in the same singsong voice: I see French friiiiiiies!

Misnomers:
EK: Yestnight (Last night)
EK: Mexan (Mexican, as in the restaurant)
J: Dinoson (Some sort of combination of a dinosaur and a dragon)
J: Snowman (Means anything having to do with snow, even if it’s nothing to do with a snowman)
J: Panpakes (Pancakes)

Well what have your kids been saying? Any snow funnies?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Hey y’all! I thought last week’s edition of Things Toddlers Say seemed long, but maybe my kids are just crazy, because this week’s is long, too! So here they are – the funniest things I’ve heard around here this week.  

 We love The Gruffalo, a book by Julia Donaldson (and also a short “movie” on Netflix!) so this conversation started normally…
Hubby: My favorite food is owl ice cream!
Me: My favorite food is scrambled snake!
EK: My favorite food is… toilet paper!

EK’s permanent retort when she runs out of things to say: Look, I know how to stop this winter.

On the way to get breakfast…
EK: We’re going to have special breakfast. Go right-left here. And then take a left.
Hubby: When’s your birthday?
EK: I don’t know.
Hubby: it’s April 13th! Can you count to 13?
EK: No.
Hubby: Let’s try!
Together: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11…
Hubby: What’s next?
EK: BIRTHDAYYYY!

Lala: Do you want a hushpuppy?
J: No, I don’t like pushuppy.

We’ve been working on shapes with J. He’s got most of them down, but hasn’t been able to latch onto “diamond”. Earlier, he had this swaddle, pictured above, and was calling it his “kite” swaddle. I finally figured out he was talking about the diamond shape print. Smart kid.

J: Come on ride the train… and ride it!

J locked himself in our bedroom before dinner, and was shouting, “I want out of the dark now!”

Annie to EK: You’re such a good girl!
EK: Yeah! That’s the point!

J: I want my kwackwer now!
He means graham crackers.

I’m singing “Bad Blood” while driving, and then I hear two kids shouting a perfectly-timed “Hey!” from the backseat. So well-trained.

EK’s best misnomer of late is yest-night.

J watched the first few minutes of Jurassic World (before it got scary, okay?!) and now confuses dinosaurs with dragons (he has always loved How to Train Your Dragon). He’s been calling dinosaurs “dinosons”.

Me: What color play doh do you want?
EK: Pink!
Me: There’s no pink, sweetie. How about orange?
EK: Okay! Orange is my favorite, my not pink favorite.

EK hands me this:  
And then asks, “What do you want for lunch? This is your menu!”

Every time EK sees a unicorn: Look, Mommy! An un-icorn! (As in un-der or un-fit.)

So…. you’ve heard mine, so let’s hear yours! What are you kiddos talking about?