Tag Archives: humor

Things Toddlers Say

Good morning and happy Tuesday! I hope everyone had a lovely Mother’s Day! We definitely had a great day – I was resting up after the race, and we visited Hubby’s mom, had dinner out with some friends, and topped it off with gelato. I call that a good day! Here are this week’s funny quotations from the kids. Enjoy!

One evening, we saw this beautiful sunset with the rays coming out…IMG_3866EK: It’s Jesus! His light is there!
J: I see his arm right there!

D comes to me, holding The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Me: It’s a book about the caterpillar!
D: Meoooowwww!
Me: Very close.

EK: Oh no! There’s a fire ant!
Me: Just flick it off the porch.
EK: But what if it STINGS me?! It’s the kind!

Talking about riding her plasma car in the yard, EK: That was. So. Darn. Fun!

EK, talking about my race: There might be bugs.
Me: Yeah, I hope they don’t bite me.
EK: You’ll be going so fast, they won’t even be able to.
Me: *glowing*

J, on Mothers Day cards: I don’t know how to make a card! It’s so hard for a baby or even a kid!

EK wanders upstairs at 11:30pm: Dad, I left my bunny outside. Can I go get it?
Hubby: I’ll make sure it gets back inside.
EK: But I’m worried that an owl will get it and feed it to its owl babies!
Hubby: But it’s a stuffed bunny. It’ll be okay.

J and D were having a tiff, and J finally hit D. EK walked away from the fight and said, “That’s on you, buddy.”

Hubby made homemade pizza…
J: This green stuff in the pizza that I don’t want to eat is mint. Can you say mint?
Me: Actually, I think it’s arugula. Can you say arugula?
J: Arugula! Great!

Me: I’m glad you guys didn’t watch any tv today. It’s good for you to do without tv sometimes.
J: Ha! Yeah, yeah, yeah…
Me: *fearing teenage years*

What have your kids said recently about each other? Do you have any funny sayings from Mother’s Day?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, y’all! It’s a great day to share some silly things my kids have been saying. We spent a few days in Charleston for a wedding this past weekend (I’ll be posting about the trip soon!) so lots of these are travel-related – enjoy our funnies!

We are driving past the local baseball stadium…
J: There’s the baseball game! Is anyone playing?
EK: I don’t see anyone!
Me: Yeah, it looks like our team is playing at another team’s stadium today.
J: But it’s such a nice day to play outside.

EK at the aquarium: Look Mom! Alive fish!
Me: That’s why we’re here!

J: Can I look inside your mouth and see what you got?
Hubby: *opens mouth*
J: Hmm. You got a hundred of bof teef.

J: What is orange?
Me: It’s either a color or a fruit.
J: It’s a color!
Me: Well, it’s also a fruit.

EK at my friend Sydney’s house for dinner…
Sydney: Did you know your mom and I have been friends since before you were born?
EK: *dead pan* I don’t believe you.
Sydney: Here’s a picture! (shows her an incriminating picture from 2008)
EK: *straight face*
Later…
EK: I don’t like this (fruit salad).
Sydney: Did you try it?
EK: No. My mommy says I don’t have to try things I don’t want to try and I don’t want to disobey her.
Sydney: …..
(That, of course, was pure manipulation and not true.)


Me: What did you build, bud?
J: My town-city!
Me: That’s a really cool city!
J: No, it’s a TOWN-CITY!
Me: Alright. Town-city.

EK in the car: J! Look out your window! There’s a stack of train cars!

D, looking out the window: Where my moon?

J, crying in the back of the car…
Me: What’s wrong, bud?
J: My swaddle is being rude to meeeeee!

J: I haf a hundred cheeses ’cause I’m so hungry!

J’s current confusion: Moles vs. Molars. He’s unsure which is which.

Whelp, that’s it for today! Do you have anything funny your kids say that you can share?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday! Here we are again, celebrating the little hilarities of life with toddlers. I’ve got a bunch of funnies from J again this week – enjoy!

 

Me: J, would you like this Avengers shirt?
J: Well, I doooo like it, but I’d really like something else.

J reading through Dr. Seuss’s Wacky Wednesday: Woah, woah, woah. That is NOT good.

D to J, who happened to be in trouble: No! No, J! ‘Pank! No!
Me and Hubby: ……


J, above: I have a dino-snore on my shirt! Like Daddy snores!

D: *cries*
EK, before anyone says anything: I didn’t do anything!

J: I feel the taste of it, Mom! What is it?!
Me: ….an orange…?

J trying to say ambulance: ambwe, ayam, ambleeyance?

J ran upstairs during bedtime…
Hubby: Where’d you run off to?
J: I just gotted to get some sippin’ water.

J, looking at my necklace: Did your husband get that for you?

J has been talking to his aunt Holly for a while. I come back in the room and he asks me: How many molars do you have, Mom?

J and me, using the blender and he says: It looks like a whirlpool!
Me: Wow. That was a really good word.

J, talking about my running leggings: You look so cute in those black pants, Mom!
Me: *winning*

Annie to EK: We need to talk about something very important before our naps.
EK: That Jesus is alive?

D’s new favorite words: Bok bok (like a chicken) and Hei Hei, Manana (Moana), and Maaaai (Maui). He loves the movie Moana.

J told me he wanted a banana. I told him wait just a sec. There was a step stool underneath this:EK: Nella, the princess knight is who I am!
Me: I am literally the proudest I’ve ever been.

Well, there ya go, Tuesday. I hope it brightened your day! Do you have some silly sayings of your kids that you could share??

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, one and all! Spring has sprung here in our house, and we’re obsessed with all that comes with it! Enjoy our funny little sayings!

J, holding his ukulele and wearing his backpack: I’m going to my gig, mom!

J: *tells same story about a robot on our porch he’s been telling for months*
EK: Why do you keep telling that same story, J?
J: I just love stories about robots!

At EK’s preschool music performance…
J: Can I go up there?!
Me: It’ll be your turn next year.
J: I guess I want to go home then.

Talking about Moana…
EK: Okay. Now let’s talk about the waves. (Cue ten excruciating minutes laboring over why the waves moved of their own accord.)

EK: What are you making mama?
Me: Brownies!
EK: You’re just like Lala! (My bestie who always makes sweet treats)

EK: Can I watch you make your coffee in that golden jar, Dad?
This is the golden jar:(It’s a French press.)

Passing the baseball stadium…
EK: You said the baseball opens in April. Is it April?
Me: No, it’s still March.
EK: Okay. I’ll ask you every day, “Is it April yet?” and you’ll tell me when it is. Okay?
Me: …okay…

Holiday mix-up…
EK: You know what’s my favorite month to set up for Easter? March 27!
Me: Wait. What?

EK and I are singing Moana for the hundredth time…
J: You guys! You’re making me annoying myself!

Hope you enjoyed our funnies! What silly things are your kids saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, y’all! In case you don’t know this already, every Tuesday, I post some hilarious or really cute things my kiddos have said during the week. Right now, here are their ages: EK is almost 5, J is 3, and D is 1.5, so his contributions are minimal. So, here are a few of them from this week! Enjoy!

EK: Can we marry our brothers?
Me: No, we don’t marry the people in our families.
EK: We have to marry someone we don’t know?
Me: Not necessarily. You could marry someone you know already or you might meet them when you’re older.
I was scared what that conversation would turn into.

EK: While we’re at school, do you do your reading and then pick up the sticks?
Me: Yep. Sometimes I do those things.
I’m dying because picking up sticks from the lawn is her outdoor job sometimes. She clearly thinks I do it while she’s not around.

EK: Would you like to try this bell pepper? It’s really spicy.
Me: Bell peppers aren’t actually very spicy.
EK: Yeah, this bell pepper is sweet and comfortable, right Mom?

EK, holding a spoon to D: Carrot?
D: No!
EK: Come on! It’s juicy, it’s sweet, it’s a carrot!

Things a guitarist’s daughter says…
EK: Dad, I gathered all your picks so that D won’t eat them.

All day on Friday (St. Patrick’s Day)…
EK: Happy Mattress Day!

J, professing his love: I like you, Mom. I really like you.

The creepiest thing J will ever say to EK: Baby, come here! Daddy gots you a present! (I’m sure it was related to playing “family” which they often do, but it sounded so creepy.)

EK hands me the ruffle that goes on a sunhat: Here, Mom. It tenaches. (Attaches)

J, pointing at my sis-in-law holding my niece: Are you holding the baby girl princess?

What are your kiddos saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, everyone! It’s a windy, strange weather type of day here, so a little humor might make us all feel better! Here is a sampling of what my kids have been saying this week…

EK: I want to be a river for Halloween! (Very serious.)

EK: This tooth is about to come out!
Me: Really? Yep, it’s wiggly!
EK: I think it was that pork belly I was eating for lunch. (We had pork belly tacos.)

EK: What car will I drive when I’m an adult?
Me: I don’t know; we’ll have to see.
EK: Maybe I’ll just ride on the green bus.
(Our city buses here are green.)

Me: Did you miss me while I was gone?
J: Kind of.

Me, leaving for a run: Okay, I’m going now. The quicker I go, the quicker I get back!
J, shouting out the door: The quicker you go, be safe on your run!

Me, taking a sip of my wine: As whites go, this one’s not too bad.
J, taking a sip of his water: This water’s not too cold with the ice.

J: I gotta go to the dentist because my teef hurt.
Me: Let me see, bud.
J: *opens mouth where I can only see the front of his bottom teeth*

EK: Tomorrow is Sunday!
Our friend Samuel: What do you do on Sunday?
EK: Put on a dress! And go potty!
Me: *dying*

Talking about the Curious George Halloween special that the bigs are obsessed with…
J, running around in circles: Oh no! No-Noggin is so scary! I don’t know which way to hide from him!!

Speaking of this, J has become quite the story teller. He weaves tales about tooth fairies (with very little understanding about how that works), keys breaking off in doors, and chocolate-eating.

Me, about a dress-up dress: This dress has been through the wringer.
EK: No, my ring is downstairs.

J, hanging out of his classroom, seeing me walk down the hall to pick him up: Mom! It’s me! Your sweet son!

J: What if it was a dinosaur? Or a dinosaurus?!

EK: Mom, when you went to colletch (not college lol) did you have to get on a plane?
Me: No, I just drove in my car.

EK: Can we get on a plane and go back to DisneyWorld?
Me: We will go back sometime.
J: Yeah, we will just have to drove there.

EK: Next time we play hide and seek, in gonna hide in the fridgelator!

J: We just went over some speed bumps!
EK: Wait! How did you remember those were speed bumps?!

EK: We’re home! I see Daddy’s car and the cannolia tree!
Me: I wish cannolis grew on trees.

Hope you enjoyed our humor for the week! What do your kids say that’s a little off?

Things Toddlers Say 

Happy Tuesday, all! Besides the adorable yoga photo, there are some other funnies here to brighten your day. Enjoy!


Necie: You have on shoes but no pants?
J: Yeah. Like EK did it. I did what she did.
(She was wearing a dress.)

Me: Are you upset, bud?
J: I’m just mad at everybody.
EK: That means you’re mad at me!
J: Not a funny joke!

EK: I’m not tired!
Necie: Yes you are… I can see it.
EK: I was just frownding.


J: Can you get me more card moneys?


EK is working on her drawing skills.

EK: I want to listen to Moana.
Me: Well, I put on the Disney radio, so whatever comes up is what we’ll hear.
EK, making her justification: It’s cloudy enough. We can listen to Moana.

J finishes his breakfast in record time.
Me: Wow! Would you like some more eggs?
J: Not exactly… (walks away)
Me: Okay, then.

J: Ahhh! He’s gonna stole this from me! (Runs away from D)

J, grunting and trying to pick up D: Here, Mom! Here’s the biggest boy you never haved before!

After putting him down twice and thinking I’ve finally gotten him to stay…
Me: Good night, babe.
J: Good night. I guess I am a liddle sleepy. (Followed by a dramatic but genuine yawn)

D has some new words, too! Here they are: no, bye bye, G-dah (what he’s calling my dad), Neenee (what he calls my mom AND hubby’s mom), night night, water, shoes, pants, nose, go (because he loves going wherever J and EK go), down (doesn’t like the high chair if he’s eaten what he considers to be enough) and yeaahhhh! And did I mention “no”? He says that one most of all.

Who else’s kids love saying no to everything? Will it ever stop?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday, and happy Valentine’s Day! My kids have been obssessed with the topic of Valentines’s Day, despite my efforts to not make a huge deal out of it (since Hubby and I don’t really do much). Either way, there’s always a party at school, so there’s no avoiding it. SO! A little humor for your Valentine’s Day, since who doesn’t love the funnies?!


After D bit J on the arm…
J: He gotted me so well. He was trying to caught me and he caught me! He tried to gobble me up and swallow me down into his froat. But I’m too big for him to swallow.

From EK’s teacher…
EK: My mom told me I couldn’t pee in the sink.
Why yes, yes I did.

J, playing in this picture:J, above: “I’m gonna smash you! I’m gonna smash you so good!” then “No! Please no!”

Talking about dinosaurs…
EK: Well, Jesus is gonna make more of them so we can see them alive.

I hear cheering from the other room..
EK: Yay, D! Wanna do it again?
I come in and see her putting together a puzzle and giving him the credit.

EK: I know what grasshoppers drink. They drink blood. My dad told me.
Me: Do you mean mosquitos?
EK: Oh yeah. I have short term memory loss.

EK: I’m going to be the mom ok? *Crosses her arms and runs off shouting* Oh no, the baby! Oh no, the baby!

What funny things have your kids said recently??

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! I’ve got a lot of funnies from EK this week, mostly because J’s vocabulary has (sadly) deteriorated into frustrated grunts and lots of “FINE!” and “OKAY!” Hopefully he’ll be back next week. Enjoy!

After J got in trouble…
EK: J, you know what? Even when you make bad choices, Jesus still loves you.

J: Did you remember that I was locked out on the porch and there was a robot?!
EK: You’ve been saying that for forty-nine years!

EK: These jeans have a hole.
Me: It’s okay, some people love holes in their jeans.
EK: I don’t want to wear them with a hole!
Me: Please. We aren’t going anywhere, just wear them to make it easy on me.
EK: Fine….
Two days later…
Me: *puts holey jeans in the trash*
Ek: Wahhh! I’m really gonna miss those jeeeeeeans!

EK: Look, mom! My booboo is getting better! I’m magical again!

EK: I tried to not dream about Teka, but I dreamed about Teka, that he would get Moana and kill her! Haha!
Me: Umm…

EK: Look, Mom! It’s the one with Darth Vader!
(For those who don’t know, that’s evil Emporer Zurg from Toy Story.)

J’s three major food groups:Broccoli, pickled radishes, and bulldozers.

J: You remember babies don’t do what they’re doing?
Me: Sure, babe.
J: And babies need help burping.
Me: Yes!

Tootsie roll=tweetsie roll (can you tell my kids are obsessed with trains?)

EK, singing: Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please slide down on me! Wait… is it slide or lie?
Me: Shine… It’s shine.

Arguing about how to pronounce “Motonui” (Moana’s island)…
EK: Listen to this! She says Motchnui!
Me: I think it’s Motonui.
EK: She knows how to say her own country’s name!
Me: I know, but I don’t think you’re hearing her correctly.
EK: I’m gonna listen to her again.

 

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! Sorry it’s so late – I’ve had a busy day, full of running, friends, games, and homemade pizza. But no excuses… Here are the funnies!


Passing the hospital at night…
EK: There’s Lala’s work! (our PA friend)
J: And Lala’s work glows in the dark!

J: Can I have dessert?
Me: I asked you to eat five more bites, but you’ve only eaten two.
EK, with no pause: Just eat three more bites, J.
Me to Hubby: Was that math or coincidence?
Hubby: Let’s call it math.

Every time J is in a public bathroom: Is this toilet gonna flush really loud?

Avocado=abocado, alocado

Whenever I have to scold EK, she say, “I miss-ed you while I was at school!” Like, she missed me so she’s gonna say rude stuff now.

D: *brings me pig* Woof woof!
Me: That pig says, “Oink!”
D: *brings me a bear* Meow! Meow!
Me: A kitty cat says, “Meow,” not a bear!
D: *huffs and puffs away*

EK: Can I have that back?
J: (screaming) YES, MY DARLING PRECIOUS!

J: I hurt my finger! When I crosed it in the door!

J: Is it two firty o’clock?

J catapults himself onto D, and D pulls his hair. J: Well, that’s how I get pulled by my hair.


EK (in the picture above): I’ll have a number 8.

EK, holding a pencil: How do you spell Drew?
I spell it, and then his wife and daughter’s names too.
EK: I spelled their whole family! Oh wait! What about Walker and Quinn?! (their dogs)


EK (referring to the picture above, top to bottom): It’s a flower, a star, another flower, and a hoolie-hoop!
(She’s been using her Spirograph!)

EK: *toots*
Necie: If that smells, I’m leaving.
EK: You could just go like this when you smell it! *covers her nose*

EK: Let’s play hind and seek!
Me: I think you mean hind end seek.
EK: What?
Me: Nevermind.

EK to our friend who was holding her newborn baby girl: That baby is so cute, I could die!

Well, there you have it! What have your kiddos been saying recently?