Tag Archives: kids say the darnedest things

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! We had a fun weekend and a busy day yesterday. We used our extra weekend day to catch up on housework. It didn’t sound like fun, but it sure was nice when it was all done! Here are a few funnies from the past week!!

EK holds her stick like a wand. J holds it like he’s about to smack her wand out of her hand.

EK, showing me her necklaces: These is my jewelries, for when I get married with Jesus.

As we’re getting ready to leave the house…
EK: Are we going to our church home?
(I think this is particularly cute, because sometimes, yes, I feel like I live there.)

What I hear from the back of the car…
EK, singing: And You cover me with grace… (Lyrics from “I Am Set Free” – a song we had done at church the previous Sunday.)

Having dinner one night…
EK: I don’t like this meat.
Hubby: It’s pork… Like a pig. It’s yummy!
EK, showing me a bite of pork: Mommy! This is piggy! Piggies love this.
Me: ….cannibals.

My friend Mary Katherine came over with a little balloon pump and some balloons to make animals out of (because she’s crafty like that). J thought the pump looked like the syringe for giving shots in our little doctor’s kit.
J, holding the pump: Head!
(Gives me a “shot” in the head with the pump.)
J: Hand!
(“Shot” in the hand.)
J: Arn!
(“Shot” in the arm.)
J: Weg!
(“Shot” in the leg.)
J: Eye!
Me: Ahh! No!!
J: (laughing) Eye! Yes! Eye! (Chases me.)
Me, having nightmares about this tonight.

Driving lessons…
EK: I like your car, Daddy.
Hubby: Thanks, babe!
EK: Maybe one day I can drive it.
Hubby: Yeah, maybe one day.
EK: How about when I’m…. 16!
Hubby: Yeah! Definitely then!
Me: Lucky guess.

We pull into the parking lot at La Carreta…
J: Salsaaaaaaa!
Me, exchanging looks with Hubby: We come here too often.

J, pointing to his foot: Sock!
Me: No, you aren’t wearing socks.
J: Sock!
Me: You want to put on socks?
J: No!
Me: That’s your foot.
J: No! Sock!
Accepting my fate in a losing battle.

At bedtime, singing and talking about Jesus…
EK: Yeah, I love Jesus. Mom, will you buy me a Jesus toy?
Me: Um, sure honey. Would you like the baby Jesus or grown-up Jesus?
EK: Baby Jesus. And a bottle for him. And a blanket.
Me: I’ll see what I can do.

I felt like it was a pretty funny week! What are your kids talking about?

Things Toddlers Say

How is Tuesday again already?! We’re starting school on Thursday, and I can’t believe it. The last bit of our summer is dwindling away. I’m ready 🙂

Here are your Tuesday favorites!

When choosing what to watch…
EK: The train one!
J: Choo choooooo!
EK: Wait… Po-kee-hah-nah! (Pocahontas)

This week, EK has been calling me “Mother” instead of “Mom” or “Mommy” or “Mama”. It’s an interesting switch. More sophisticated.

J was calling for me as he was coming up the stairs, and it quickly turned into a cry. When I went to check, he was standing on his own foot and couldn’t move. I had to laugh before I helped him!

At 10:40pm, I hear EK in the basement, NOT in bed…
Me: Where should you be right now?
EK: In the bed!
Me: So why aren’t you there?
EK: I so tired. And I fweezing!
Me: If you’re tired and cold, you would be much more comfortable in the bed…

In our house, we have lots of toy phones, and therefore we have lots of pretend conversations…
J, holding the “phone” to my ear: Hello?!
Me: Hello, Pizza Hut? I need seventeen pepperoni pizzas, please. Okay, bye!
J, holding the “phone” to EK’s ear: Hello?!
EK: Hi! I need seven strawberry and cheese pizzas. Bye!
Me: Very interesting choice…

Preposition Problems…
EK: I wanna sit next of you, Mom!
Me: I would love for you to sit next TO me.

Anatomy lesson…
EK: I hurt my ankle!
Hubby: Where is your ankle?
EK points to her ankle.
Hubby: Where is your heel?
EK points to her heel.
Hubby: Do you know where the ball of your foot is?
EK (amazingly) points to the ball of her foot.
Hubby: Where’s your shin?
EK points to her chin.
Hubby: where is your thigh?
EK points to her eye.
Hubby: Okay – all done.

My friend Sophie walks in…
EK: My panties match your shirt!

Eating Chinese food…
EK: Can I have another duckling?
Me: Dumpling. She means dumpling.

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! We’ve had a fun week, including EK’s weekend trip with her grandparents, who thankfully sent me a few of her one-liners to share with you 🙂

  
First and foremost, J now says his version of EK’s name. He says, “E-Tay”. Adorable.

At some point, we explained to EK that D couldn’t eat food yet because he didn’t have any teeth. That led to lots of discussions about how babies are born without teeth, and how she didn’t have teeth when she was born either. Now when she sees someone – anyone – the first thing she wants to tell them is the D doesn’t have teeth, and how she didn’t either when she was a baby.

We went to the hospital the other day to meet our friend’s new baby girl, and all the way from the “alligator” (elevator) in the parking deck up to her room, EK was singing “We’re going to see our baby! We’re going to see our baby!” to the tune of “na-na-na-na boo-boo”. Awesome.

On the same trip to the hospital, walking in next to another group of people…
EK: Mom! Those people are going to see our baby, too!
Me: I don’t think they’re going to see the same baby we are, but they might be seeing a baby!
Turns out they were, right down the hall!

Meeting our friend Ginna’s baby, Grace…
EK: Aww! She’s so cute! She doesn’t have any teeth, because she’s a baby.
Good thing we’ve really solidified that concept.

J now sings part of the chorus (the oh’s) on Katy Perry’s “California Girls”. That is all. (Disclaimer: This is purely the result of how often it comes on the radio. I do not own the song or play the song or choose the song.)

In one day, J had Mexican for lunch and the. Chips and salsa for a snack at home. He started tossing food in the floor (his M.O.) so I pushed everything away from him. He got really sad, then pointed and said, “I want salsa!” in a sweet little voice. Hubby responded with, “Yes sir! You get what you want when you use the right word!” Encouraging vocabulary, discouraging selflessness.

J, climbing into a barstool-height chair…
J: Hep! Hep! Hep wit dis!
(Update: “Hep wit dis” is now on a permanent rotation for when he needs any sort of help with anything.)

And now for a few gems that my mother-in-law passed on to me from their weekend together at the lake…

Annie: EK, do you need to go poopy?
EK: No, I’ve already done that this week.

Annie: Would you like some goldfish to eat in the car?
EK: No thanks, just some M&Ms.

Being tucked into bed…
EK: This is just so cozy!

Finding a dead centipede…
EK: He’s really sad. He shouldn’t have bit his brother.

And there you have it. My one and a half year old is now making regular appearances and my preschooler is blowing my mind with how she consistently is hilarious. What are your kids talking about these days?

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! We might be a little sleep-deprived, but we are adjusting nicely! Lots of sweet friends bringing us meals, and lots of snuggles in front of the TV right now. Real life, y’all.

 
Me: Did you have fun last night?
EK: (head nod)
Me: Did you sleep late this morning?
EK: No, I got out of bed in Necie’s room and I snuggled her.
Necie: At a quarter to 6…

EK: Mom, when you get bigger like Daddy, you can reach the tomatoes. (Our lattice goes high enough that I can’t really reach the tomatoes at the top of the vines.)
Me: I don’t think I’m going to get any bigger, babe. I’ve done all my growing.
EK: Oh. Maybe we can get a ladder for you.

My dad, visiting for the weekend, said this to EK: I just want to take you back to Georgia with me forever!
EK: Weeeellllll… You can’t. I’m so sorry.
(It was delivered very politely.)

J: Kwick! Kwick! (That’s him turning on and off all the light switches in the house.)

EK, to everyone ever: Look! Look at my new brother! Hey! You! LOOK AT MY NEW BROTHER!
Everyone: …okay. I see him. He’s cute..?

EK: I’m so pretty! (Those are stickers.)

EK: Ring around the rosie! Pocket full of posies! Ashes, ashes, all fall down!
What the uneducated listener hears: Ring around the rosie! Pocket fulla posies! Ah sh*t, ah sh*t! All fall down!

Genealogy lesson:
Hubby: EK, who are my brothers?
EK: Wesley, Hartley, G-Daddy…
Me: Yikes! (G-Daddy is my dad.)
Hubby: And who is my mommy?
EK: Hmm, let’s see… Annie must be!
Totally correct answer. Still glad my hubby isn’t my uncle.

This morning, D ended up sleeping till after the bigs got up (you know, after he was up at 6:30), so we were having breakfast when we heard him cry.
EK: Mom! You gotta get Davis! He said, “I’m hungry! Come get me out of bed!”
She’s a good interpreter.

What are your kiddos saying these days?

Things Toddlers Say

 Happy Tuesday!

Reasons my son is crying:

 Because he wanted to sit in the doll stroller, but as he sat down, it rolled away. He landed in the exact position he is shown in here.

Sibling sameness: This is definitely a season of mimicking. Anything EK can do, J (thinks he) can do better.

Hubby has been making pourover coffee recently, and boiling his water in a stove top kettle. Every time the kettle whistles, EK shouts: “Daaaaaad! Your coffee’s dooooooone!” Which of course isn’t strictly true… But it’s still adorable that she’s yelling that all through the house.

Life of a nursing mother…
EK: Mom, do you have milk in your boobs?
Me: …yes…

J: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
J: Umm… I… (jabbering to finish the sentence).
I think it’s adorable that he starts with “Umm” and “I…” When he starts a sentence.

EK had a friend over the other day, who was playing a “game” on one of our old cell phones we keep as toy phones (that have had dead batteries for years). He was telling us about the “game” he was playing…
S: This is a zombies game!
Hubby: Zombies?
S: Yeah! About zombies!
Hubby: What kind of zombies?
S: Ebola zombies!
Everyone: ???

EK, unprompted, jumping up from the dinner table: Okay, I’m gonna go get my things!
(Goes to get some blocks.)
EK: Okay! I got my things! (Silence) Ahem! I got my things!!!
Everyone: ….?

Here’s a little gem my mom told me about: EK kept getting up out of bed, and saying she needed to poop. That’s her new thing she knows will buy her a few minutes out of bed, because we’re too scared to send her back to bed without trying to go. (Ain’t nobody got time to clean up a poopsplosion.) So my mom took her to the bathroom – no poop – and she put her back to bed. As she was tucking her in…
Necie (my mom): I love you, even if you are a stinker who likes to push your mom’s buttons.
EK: I looooooove to push Mom’s buttons!
Girl after my own heart, right?

Because lunch…

EK: I want a butter shammick! 

(That’s threenager code for “peanut butter sandwich”.)

On Sunday, my mother-in-law picked EK up for a play date. A few minutes after they had left, I got this text from her: We got home and Joe is up on the roof trying to put some silicone where we had a leak the other day. Ella Kate got out of the car and said, “Gon Gon, what in the world are you doing up on that roof, silly?! Now you be careful up there!” 

Hubby was cleaning up our storage room while I put the big kids to bed, and as I went to tell him they were down for the night, EK pranced in behind me. Naturally, she requested a daddy snuggle, and I said he’d have to figure out how to get out of there in a few minutes. Her response…

EK: Yeah, Daddy’s gonna have to jump right over that bathtub! (The baby bathtub.) He’s gonna jump right over it like a rabbit! Then he’s going to turn INTO a rabbit! Then I’ll never see my dad again. 

Me: ….Okay, well, I’ll send him in for a kiss in a minute… (Whaaaa?!)
What’s your toddler been saying?!

Things Toddlers Say

Happy Tuesday! What a week it’s been since last Tuesday… we are talking HUGE life changes for everyone around here, adding baby D to our ranks! Lots of cute things happening in the toddler world…

 

This catches pretty truthfully the chaos and love surrounding our little D at all times.
 
When talking about the theme of next week’s summer camp (ocean commotion)…
EK: I’m a mermaid, just like you! And Joseph’s a shark, just like dad. We all have tails.
Science, y’all.

Swinging outside in the backyard…
EK: this is the best party ever!

As we are pulling out of the driveway (in our old car)…
EK: Bye bye, new car! We can ride in you later, when baby Davis gets born!
What can I say? She loves it.

Seeing D for the first time, in the hospital…
Hubby: EK, who is this?
EK: Baby Davis. (Looks around skittishly.)
Hubby: Isn’t he cute?
EK: (Looks quickly at D, then quickly away again.) Mmhmm.
Hubby: Do we love him?
EK: Mmhmm. (Looks for approval.)
Hubby: Want to give him a kiss?
EK: (Fastest ever) Mwah.
Me: Maybe she’ll like him better at home?

The next evening, when we brought D home…
J: Mommy! Baby! Mommy! Baby!
EK: It’s my baby brother Davis! (Continues on for five minutes, talking to D, talking about D, and kissing D, all the while she and J are alternately trying to climb in the infant seat with him.)

Last night, while snuggling in my bed before she went downstairs to her room…
EK: Mommy, are those your jewries? (Jewelry)
Me: Yep!
EK: When the sun comes up, you can put on your jewries and go to church and siiiiing… And I can put on my jewries and go to church too! We gon’ have so much fun!

EK to my mom: Let me check your baby. (Holds stethoscope to her belly.) I gotta see if her’s in there.

EK, on toenail polish: I wanna pick out my color! I want barkle! (Sparkle. – I hope.)

On our first full day home, I was in the chair in the nursery (a La-Z-Boy rocker/recliner that I LOVE, aka big enough to hold me and plenty more) nursing D, and J came in. He carefully chose a book, climbed gingerly into the chair to sit next to me, and “read” the entire book (Room on the Broom, which we love, even this far away from Halloween) to D and me. It was one of the sweetest things I’ve experienced so far… A sweet little date with my boys.

Things Toddlers Say 

This past week we had a lovely visit from my brother and his girlfriend, and several nights spent with good friends. Naturally my kids behave way better in front of company (right?!) so this one is pretty good… and I’m totally ecstatic that J is joining the ranks of Toddlers Talking. Enjoy!

Picture this (I tried to get a picture unsuccessfully): EK walking around the house with her belly stuck way out, strutting about, talking about having a baby soon. For some reason, she was also talking strangely and had her head tucked in to create more chins. I’d like to say I don’t look like that. But it’s been happening all week.

EK, to my bro’s gf: Sometimes, I hit my brother, and Necie gets mad and spanks me. (Note: this doesn’t happen.)

Saying goodbye to my bro and his gf…
Me: Say, “bye bye!”
The kids: Bye, bye!
Me: Say, “Drive safe!”
EK: Don’t go any fast!
(Same sentiment, right?)

Shouted from across the room…
EK: Daddy! I wanna cucumba salaaaaad!
(My extremely unhealthy kid.)

A kid with an amazing memory…
EK: Mom! I see the hospital where we get the baby! (A conversation about this was had with Hubby the day before.)

Me, trying to stuff more breakfast in my kid: Joseph, would you like some of Mommy’s egg?
J: No! (Runs from the other room, mouth hanging open.)

Watching a friend open a bottle of wine, hands over her mouth… When he finally got it:
EK: You got it! You got it! Yay!
(Always worth celebrating.)

J eats a bite of cupcake: Happy birthday to you…. (It’s not anyone’s birthday. He just likes that song a lot.)

Me: EK, tell Andrea and Chris good night!
EK: Good night! Good night! (Turns to me.) Mom! I said good night to girl and boy!
Me: Well, you guys have been demoted. (EK totally knows their names.)

What funny things has your toddler said recently?

Things Toddlers Say

  

In a crowded, public restroom…
EK: Watch this, mom! I’m gon’ take a poop! (a minute later) Phew! That was a lot!

EK: Can I have a tiola to make a roll up? (She was asking for a tortilla.)

J, upon waking from his nap: Anna! Elsa! Olaf!
Hubby: Loud and clear, little dude. (Turns on Frozen.)

EK (apparently obsessed with poop this week): All dooooone!
Hubby goes to help check.
EK: There’s a LOT in there. I want some jelly beans!
A minute later, coming out of the bathroom…
EK: Mom! Davis is SO PROUD! (Davis is the baby we’re expecting any day.)
Me: Yes, babe, I’m sure he is!

Laying down for her nap…
EK: Daddy, get out of here!
Hubby: I thought I was your snuggle bunny!
EK: No, you’re just a daddy.

J’s new favorite word: No. It’s said totally politely, but it’s the answer to every single question anyone asks him. Great.

After Hubby accidentally dropped a French fry between the car seats…
EK: Nice one. (Always delivering the zingers.)
A few minutes later, same fries…
Hubby: EK do you like those?
EK: Mmhmm. These are my favorite fries I ever saw!

And the piece de la resistance… the moment every parent waits for…
EK: Daddy! Will you get married with me?

Heart. Melted.

What’s your toddler saying these days? And what am I going to call this post now that EK is a preschooler and definitely not a toddler? “Things Kids Say” doesn’t have the same ring to it… Suggestions welcome!

Things Toddlers Say


Talking with one of our tile workers…
Worker: I’m Kelly! What’s your name?
EK: Ella Kate. I’m three. At my next birthday I’ll be one different, though.

We’ve been rewatching the Harry Potter movies (they just came out of storage!) and the kids have been there for part of it. When the Weasleys and Harry travel using floo powder, every time the green fire happened, J would say, “Oh no!” with his eyes glued to the screen. Pretty cute.

After her nap…
EK: My hair looks crazy! I gotta go take a shower!

EK woke up in the middle of the night (She told me she had to poop. No such poop happened.) and Hubby was still at work. This was the conversation about it the next morning…
EK: Did you have a good nap?
Me: You mean after I went back to bed? I sure did.
EK: Did you snuggle daddy when he got home?
Me: I did.
EK: Aww! That was very sweet of you!

Hubby and I, discussing where to park at church…
Me: Just park in the circle.
EK: Circle? I love circles!

J, Facetiming my mom on her birthday…
EK: Joseph, can I have the phone?
J: No.
EK: Mooooom! Joseph said noooooo! (Whining big time)
Me: I heard, babe. He’ll be done in a minute.
J hands EK the phone.
EK: Necie! Joseph said noooooo! (Still whining)
This basically just shows how accustomed she is to J doing what she wants. Sweet boy just does what she says about 90% of the time, and he’s just this week started saying “no”.  She is in for it.

Things EK calls a seat belt:
Top buckle
Seat buckle
Big buckle
Belt buckle
Safe buckle
I’m thinking all are appropriate names for it.

What is your toddler saying? Leave it in the comments!

Things Toddlers Say 

Hellooooooo, Tuesday! The days are going slowly as I’m surviving the next few weeks. Good thing I have hilarious children (and a hilarious Hubby) to keep me entertained! Here are our recent funnies…

In the picture above, J was pushing the light back and forth, saying, “Wheeeee! Wheeeee!” (Boy mom, am I right?)

In response to being woken up by the tile workers…
EK: Those mans woke up me!

There is a really neat pop-up book that both my kids love called “The Little Fish Who Cried Shark”. It’s basically like it sounds… there’s a prank-playing fish named Sprat who scares everyone else by shouting, “SHARK!” when there really isn’t one nearby, and of course he gets scared by a shark at the end of the book. Anyway, Sprat, when being approached by the shark, says, “There’s no shark around here!” EK has taken to saying, “I’m scared! There’s a shark around here!” As if we really think there’s a shark in our house.

Every time I put sunscreen on EK, she starts talking about birds… Birds eating our blueberries, birds scaring her (one got in the kitchen one day and she’s never gotten over it), birds, birds, birds. I finally figured it out this morning. Hubby said, as he greased her up, “Yeah, we have to put on sunscreen so you don’t get a sunburn.” That started all the talk about birds. LIGHT BULB: She thinks we’re saying sun bird and she’s going off on a bird tangent. Random.

EK, upon finding a picture from our wedding: What’s this, mama?
Me: That’s a picture from Daddy’s and my wedding, where we got married!
Later, when I was kissing Hubby, in slight resemblance to the wedding photo…
EK: Are you guys getting married?!
Hubby: Yep!
EK: Awww! I’m gonna go marry my brother!
Hubby and me: *maniacal laughter*

Nature Lesson
EK, while eating a banana: Monkeys eat bananas!
Me: Yes, they do!
EK: Birds eat blueberries. Our blueberries. Ugh!
Me: …..

J, trying to say “cheese” because he wants another piece: Beeyas! Beeyas! (Think someone from Brooklyn saying “beers”.) Beeyas! Beeyas! (I was dying.)

EK, when a thunderstorm was starting: Mom! I hear bumber!

EK: Mom, can you make the horsey neigh? (Our neighbors have horses. Usually my answer to this is no, I can’t force them to neigh.)
Me: Hey! Horse! Neeeiiiiigh!!!!!
J (shouting in the same direction): Neigh! Neigh! Hey! Neigh! Hey! Neigh! Neigh! Neigh!
Hubby and I exchange looks of… trying not to laugh.

This ball of string was found by EK in the basement.  She wound and unwound it all evening the other day, and insisted on sleeping with it. She also insisted on sleeping in a tutu. You can imagine what she/it looked like ten minutes before I took this picture. I only wish I had gotten my camera out earlier. She was yelling from the basement, “I’m stuck!”  

 The string saga continues… I just keep finding it randomly placed throughout the house in various stages of tangled.

After seeing that J took a ballpoint pen to our leather sofa…
Hubby: This might just be what we get for having kids. We can’t have nice things. Joseph is our nice thing and he ruins all our other nice things.