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Things Toddlers Say

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Good morning! Hope y’all are having a great Tuesday so far! Here are some funnies from our family over the past week… enjoy! 

 Any time I forget anything:
EK: Mom! You too-got!

Me: Let’s talk about what you want for lunch, guys.
J, runs to get a squeeze pouch of he-doesn’t-even-care-what, and hands it to me. When I don’t immediately open it, he starts fussing and slapping his legs (the “I’m annoyed” sign).
Hubby: Oh, he hasn’t had anything to eat since his after-breakfast-after-snack snack, so he needs his pre-lunch snack before he has lunch and then a snack before his nap bottle. Then he’ll go two entire hours without eating and be ravenously hungry when he wakes up, so that he can eat straight till dinner.
Me: Basically.

When we were visiting my parents, we happened to be on a playground near a train track, and actually saw a train go by. Ever since then…
EK (every five minutes): Can we go see choo-choo train?
My response: We can’t really plan on being right where one is. It’s just a happy accident when we see one.
Hubby’s response: No.

J (trying to open a door): Hup! Hup!
Me (five minutes later): Oh! You’re asking for help!

EK: Birdie! Stop eating our blueberries! NOW!
Me: I guess somebody’s gotta be the scarecrow.

EK (in the car): I’m hot.
Me: Okay, here’s some air (I adjust the front seat vent).
EK (holding her hands out, with a relieved look): Ahhhh….

And here are a few contributions from my mom, while we were in the mountains…

EK, with her doctor kit: Mecie (what she calls my mom) I want to hear your heart beep!
(Proceeds to listen, then take blood pressure, and hand my mom some “ice cream”.)
EK: I’m gonna be a doctor-man!

EK: Can we play with the choo-choo trains?
Here’s a picture of what she was talking about: 

 Hope you enjoyed the humor from our week! What are your kiddos saying that’s cracking you up?

mommyhood, things toddlers say

Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Toddlers Tuesday! I bet y’all thought I forgot! I just had a busy day, so it’s going up as an evening edition.

This week, J makes an appearance, and we’ve got a Hubby funny as well. I hope y’all are having a great week so far! Enjoy! 

 Botany:
Me: Look at your tulips! Remember how I said they’d open up after a few days?
EK: Aww! They’re really cute!

EK, unprovoked: Can I watch you get a baby in your tummy?
Me: *ridiculous laughter*

Me: Say you’re sorry to your brother.
EK: (Completely and actually innocently) Sorry Do-Do. (Instead of Joe Joe like she often calls him.)

Potty training advice:
EK: Don’t poop in your big boy panties, Daddy.

Home improvements while kids are napping:
Me: Well, let’s just go to Lowe’s. Let’s just wake up the kids and go! (Sarcastically of course.)
Hubby, deadpan: Yeah, whether they nap or not has never made a difference to my day.

Teaching J our friends’ names:
Me: Chris…. Andrea. (x1000)
J: Isssssss! AnDEEugh! (time #1000)
Me: great job! Say bye bye to them!
J: Bye bye, mama!
(Repeat the above about 5 times.)

Personal grooming:
EK: Mom, can I have a cair-hut?
(Apparently she missed the word haircut.)

Housekeeping:
Me: EK, could you please put your plate in the sink?
EK: No.
Me: Come on, I asked really nicely.
EK, with dramatic teen-like eye roll: Uuuggghhhh okayyyyyyy! *slams plate in the sink*
Me: Thank you?

Well, those are all my funnies from this week. What are your kids saying?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! I hope you all had a great Memorial Day yesterday! Ours was very low-key, but still lovely. I have several hilarious treats for you today in this post… Enjoy!



Hubby and I have a Asian meal we love to eat when the weather’s warm, and he just calls it cold noodles. Basically, it’s chilled noodles in several Asian sauces/oils, with egg, ham, cucumber and bean sprouts. We gave EK her first bowl of the summer (she had eaten it before), and she took one bite, then whined: Mommy, warm up my food! (Face palm.)26

While cutting fingernails and toenails…
EK: Look, Mom!
Me, looking at a crescent-shaped fingernail clipping: What about it?
EK: It’s like a little crown! For Elsa!
Me: Hmm…
EK, pointing at a hang nail: Can you get this out?
Me: Sure! (Clipping it.)
EK: (gasps) You saved me!! (throws her arms around my neck) Could you also take my toenails off?
(This is code for toenail polish. When she wants it off her fingernails or toenails, she asks me to take the nails off. Yikes.)

When preparing one night to watch a little TV, EK: I wanna watch Docka Duffus!


She was trying to say Doc McStuffins, and she pronounced it duh-fuss instead of doo-fuss but it still literally made me cackle out loud, so she kept saying it and giggling, even though I don’t think she knew why it was making me laugh.

What happens when your threenager hears that your car’s in the shop…
EK: Yor car’s broken, Mom?
Me: Yeah. It’s broken right now. (Aka a currently unidentifiable reason.)
EK: You gotta get a fresh one!
Hilarious on so many levels.

After picking EK up from preschool, she taught me about a new cough remedy…
Me: You’ve got some snack left on your face! What did you have?
EK: Just yogurt. It made my cough go away!
(She didn’t have a cough, and I’m not sure why yogurt would’ve helped.)

What’s your toddler/preschooler/threenager been jabbering about this week?!

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Things Toddlers Say

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It’s Tuesday, and time for some more hilarious things you might hear at our house! We’ve just caught back up with life after being out of town last week, and then attending several parties and events right when we got home. It’s been a blur!

  
Upon seeing my parents’ yard worker…
EK: Necie, look! A man!
A few minutes later…
EK: I wanna go watch the man!

EK: Mama! I have something I want to give to my Caroline! (She refers to this friend as “her” Caroline. Sweeties.)

EK: I’m sharing with my brother!
Me: Nothing makes me happier than when y’all share!
EK: Watch me share, mama! (She takes some apple off his plate.)
Me: Oh look, he’s sharing with you, too. (Eye roll.)

New song EK learned at the Y:
Ring around the rosey, pocketful of posies. Achoo! Achoo! We all fall down!

Me: Holy moly!
EK: Mama! Don’t say that word!
Me: Why not? I think “holy moly” is okay to say.
EK: No. It’s a bad one.

Last story… We had a babysitter spend the night with us this week, because she is in high school and we needed her kinda late on a school night. So I offered to take her to school in the morning. After we had dropped her off, EK asked every 30 minutes when we were picking her up from school, the last time being at 7:30pm. Apparently she thinks Lucy should live with us. 

What are the darnedest things your kids say?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! A little life update for ya… on Sunday, we took the road trip from hell to get to Georgia to see my family for a few days. A six hour trip turned into a nine hour trip… needless to say, Monday was a day of recuperation. Or should’ve been. Or whatever. Anyway, we’re here and having a great time! We’ll post some pictures soon.

We went last week for EK’s 3-year check up at the doctor, and came away with a couple of gems, and they’ve been repeated several times since then:

EK: Dr. Rainey says big girls poop in the potty! Like mommy!

EK (with her doctor’s kit in hand): Can I give you a check up? You’re going to be just fine.

One day, getting in the car, Hubby was strapping EK in, and must have pinched her leg a bit: Daddy! You pinched my leg! This is your last chance!

EK, to our babysitter: mommy and daddy are going on a gate.
Babysitter: what do they do on their date?
EK: eat dessert!

EK: My eyes are blue!
Me: actually, your eyes are hazel, just like daddy’s.
(A little while later) EK: my eyes are basil, just like daddy!

J, putting on a tiara: Hat! (He knows boys don’t typically wear tiaras!)

EK, mid road trip to GA: mom! I’m NOT gonna pee in my pull-up!
Me: Great choice, sweetie! I’m so proud!
EK: I have to potty NOW!
Me: Ryan, find a Starbucks! NOW!! (They typically have clean bathrooms.)

Me: Can you tell Necie (my mom) Happy Mother’s Day?
EK: Necie! It’s happy Mother’s Day!

Picking strawberries with my aunt Jan and my mom…
EK: Can I have some ice cream? (They were selling fresh strawberry ice cream)
Me: It’s almost time for lunch. Maybe after lunch!
(A little later, Jan is eating her ice cream.)
EK: Can I have some ice cream?
Jan: Sure, you can have a bite of mine!
EK: No! I want my own!
Jan: I think yours is inside and you can have it later.
EK, coming inside with Jan: Can I have a bite of your ice cream?
Jan: I just finished it….

Hope everyone has a great week!

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Things Toddlers Say

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Sorry for totally missing Tuesday… Cinco de Mayo got me off. Ha! Blame it on anything, right? Anyway, here’s a normal Things Toddlers Say on your Hump Day!

Also, I’ve been thinking… I would technically put EK into the “preschooler” category nowadays, since she’s three and all. I’m going to have to come up with a new branding for this series! I’m taking suggestions. (Note: I like alliteration.) Moving on…

Every once in a while, J puts up one hell of a fight against his car seat. I’m almost unable to get him in there when it’s just me. This particular one of those times, Hubby was helping from the front seat (aka pushing down J’s hips so I could wrestle the screaming, flailing kid). And then Hubby says, “Come on, Joseph! Put your arms in the fun straps!” I was basically worthless after that, dissolving into giggles.

After walking through her grandmother Annie’s garden one afternoon, EK brought me a flower.
Annie: Can you tell Mommy it’s a verbena?
EK: Here Mommy! It’s a banana!
Me: Thanks, sweetie! I thought bananas were yellow! (Verbena is white, FYI. I wouldn’t have known unless I was holding it.)

EK’s new, really sweet thing: I lub you.

J’s new favorite word (said whenever he sees a camera or a phone): CHEESE!!!!!!!

What’s your toddler saying?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Sorry for being afternoon by the time I got this post out. It’s been a busy couple of days! This week there was a lot of Hubby being funny, so enjoy!

Hubby: This one (pointing to something on his plate) is my favorite.
EK: (pointing to the same thing) yeah, this one’s my favorite, too.
Hubby: I’m a big do-do.
EK: yeah, I’m a big do-do, too.
Hubby: it’s the little things.

EK, holding a (kids’) fork and knife: I gotta cut your hair!
*J, holds very still*
EK: okay, all done!
Me: thank God that wasn’t gonna cut it anyway.

Writing lesson:
EK, as she’s writing: M-O-P-O-M. Mommy!
Me: I can totally see it!
Writing: Thumbs up. Spelling: Needs improvement.

Hubby, holding J: This is his fifth poop today! It’s like he sat on a thousand tootsie rolls. Except it smells like Mordor.

Hope you enjoyed a little laugh today! What have your kiddos been saying this week?

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday! Thanks for checking out this week’s Things Toddlers Say! Here are a few things you might’ve heard in my house this week…  

I’m beginning to see just how much J understands when we talk to him. I say “breakfast” and he runs to the table. I say “bathtime” and he runs to the bathroom. I say “blow your nose” and he’ll blow air out of his mouth. I say “diaper” and he runs away.

Upon entering Target, EK: Mommy! It’s so beautiful in here! I love this place!

While in pushing her in a shopping cart, EK: Mommy! Watch where you’re going. (This is just piggybacking on her giving me driving advice.)

EK: I love you with all my heart!
Me: I love you with all my heart!
EK: No! My heart!
Me: When I say that to you, it just means I love you the same as you love me.
EK: No! My heart!
Me: I tried.

Proof we listen to too much talk radio: EK: O-o-o-o’reilly…. Auto parts!

A quick story… The kids play this game during meals sometimes where they take turns ducking their heads under the table and looking at each other. It’s awful when I’m trying to get them to eat, but they’re adorable just giggling at each other and making faces and silly sounds.

The other night at dinner, after Hubby had gone to his gig, they were playing this game. They were tired, bordering on delirious, and I could tell it was going to be early bedtimes despite the amount of dinner eaten, so I just let them do it.
One time when EK ducked down, she hit her cheek on the table. She looked at me, unsure whether to laugh or cry, so I didn’t make a big deal and said, “Ouch! Good thing you’re tough!” and she took a second, and smiled. I looked down at J, and he, fully aware, leaned down and hit his face right on the table. It was one of those “All the cool kids are doing it!” moments. He looked at me with the exact same face EK had, so I just responded with the same, “Ouch! Good thing you’re tough!” to see if it would work on him the same way. And it did. No tears. Those kids.

***

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Things Toddlers Say

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Happy Tuesday, everyone! Here’s what’s being said at my house…

EK, waking up on a dreary morning: Oh no! The sun not gon’ came out! (There is no typo in this sentence.)

Our friend Tyler: EK, how old will you be on your birthday?
EK: I don’t know.
Tyler: Will you be one?
EK: Nooooo…
Tyler: Will you be a hundred?
EK: (giggling) Nooooo… (walking away)
Me: We’ve been over this and over this…

EK, opening almost every birthday present and responding this way: Oh my gossshhhh!

How you know you’ve had a successful third birthday party: Hubby went in to check on EK after we had put her to bed on Saturday (the day of her birthday party). She was still mumbling, not quite asleep. When he bent down to give her a kiss, she said, “Daddy, I want my party back…”

Me, talking on the phone to “Barbie”: Oh, hi! Yes, Ella Kate and I can come to your party! Okay, here she is! (Passing the phone to EK.)
EK: Oh, hi! Yes, Ella Kate and I can come to your party! Okay, bye!
Me: …copy cat.

EK: I tooted on you! (Every time.)

Me: Do you want some more raspberries?
J: Yesh!
(I pour them onto his plate.)
J: Yayyyy!

We’ve had a little issue trying to keep J from trying to do the stairs by himself while we’re waiting on the baby gate. Usually calling him back works, and EK has taken to helping.
J, in the basement, runs for the stairs.
EK: Come back, bub!
Me: *stunned silence*
(I affectionately call J “Bubby”, “Bubbub”, and “Bub” sometimes. Not sure how it started, but I was astounded EK picked up the pet names.)

What’s your toddler been talking about this week?

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Things Toddlers Say (aka Family Talk)

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Every Tuesday, I like to give you a small glimpse into the linguistic wonders of my family life. I have a hilarious husband, and two wonderful but sometimes misspoken children. I know you will enjoy hearing things I hear daily as much as I do.  

Me, in reference to my belly moving: I don’t think I remember the baby moving this much this early with my other two.
Hubby (deadpan): Maybe we will finally have one with some personality.

EK’s breakfast of choice one morning this week: A brownie from her aunt Lala, blueberries, and sausage. (Weirdo.)

7:15 am, EK, shoving a princess dress in my face (rude awakening, am I right?): Help me! Mom! Help me! Now! (As if her very life depends on getting into that dress right this second.)

Hubby, preparing for his gig, singing T-Pain’s “Buy You a Drank”: Baby girl, what’s your name?
EK: My name’s Ella Kate! (Then proceeds to sing the song the rest of the night.)

My friend Lauren, at our house for dinner: Can you lean out the window and tell Uncle Drew it’s time to go home?
EK, leaning out the window to the porch: Uncley Drew! Time to go hoooooome!

Me: What do you want for lunch?
EK: A soomie. (Smoothie)

Hope you enjoyed today’s little funny sayings. What does your toddler say that’s hilarious?!